Jealousy isn’t always linked with deep feelings.
Feelings of jealousy are also a product of selfishness even when dating or when you’re just experiencing the talking stage.
Yet, still, if he gets jealous does he have feelings for you?
First, let’s see if jealousy indicates feelings!
Does jealousy indicate feelings?
Yes and no. Jealousy is an indicator of feelings when a guy doesn’t feel secure enough to talk to you, be with you, or even plan a life with you.
Jealousy comes from feelings of love but only if love is mixed with greed and insecurity.
When a guy is emotionally mature and knows how to manage his emotions and both of you have healthy communication, jealousy is defined by flirting.
To get a grip on this, here are 9 reasons to decode if a guy gets jealous because he has feelings:
1. He likes you but is not ready to commit
Commitment isn’t an easy task for everyone.
And when a guy likes you but is afraid to commit to one relationship, he might get jealous.
- He might never open up to you about his deep feelings but still will keep you around.
- He might hang out with you or even tell you that he likes spending time with you but never date exclusively.
- He constantly asks you who you’re hanging out with and tries to get to know every detail.
His behavior might confuse you because he’ll never state his feelings.
To understand why he’s jealous but never confessed his love, a dating expert will help you to dig deeper into his past and present!
If a guy can’t love and accept himself for who he is then he might be jealous.
He might be constantly worried that other guys might get your attention.
Even if he isn’t into you, he might still get jealous just because if you choose him then he will feel worthy.
Thus, his insecurity is a source of jealousy and not his strong feelings for you!
3. He has strong feelings for you
When a guy catches feelings for you, he wants to make sure that no other guy gets your attention.
So it is a common romantic behavior for your boyfriend to get a little jealous whenever there is a threat to the relationship.
- Anytime you mention your guy friends
- Past relationships
- When some guy flirts with you at the supermarket
- You hang around your male friends.
A little bit of jealousy can be healthy, and we are human so it happens.
But, if he is super jealous when you’re just at a talking stage, this can be a sign of a narcissist and controlling guy.
Due to his jealousy, he might even guilt trip you by not responding for days and sending short replies.
4. He’s hiding something
Usually, a guy who is not faithful and doesn’t have feelings for you will become super jealous.
He doesn’t want to lose you but at the same time wants to continue with other women.
He keeps you on the back burner because he doesn’t want to lose both of you and be left alone.
On the other hand, when you’re in a long-term relationship and he doesn’t want you to find out, he’ll camouflage his cheating with jealousy.
He wants to manipulate your feelings and get you into thinking that you’re doing something wrong.
5. He might have a competitive nature
If a guy is jealous that doesn’t always mean that he has feelings.
He might look like he’s jealous because he’s used to having everything in life that maybe everyone else wants.
So, it’s not very nice to mention and say that a guy will act jealous because
When a guy is jealous because he has feelings, he’ll make sure that you feel okay but is curious about you.
6. He feels like he’s not getting much love and attention from you
If lately, you’ve been dealing with ups and downs in your relationship he might use some other methods to get your attention.
If you’ve been a bit disconnected and not giving each other the right amount of attention then he’ll choose jealousy to give you a signal.
Especially, if you’re around an alpha man, he’ll get jealous because he can’t deal with a lack of attention or affection.
He might think that you’re just ignoring him and not valuing him, so his pride and ego make him jealous.
It becomes more of a defense mechanism.
7. He has a controlling and possessive behavior
He keeps tabs on you and doesn’t know privacy, in a way he is obsessed, and not the good kind.
If your boyfriend is used to having all of your attention, watching you give some of that attention to the next guy could make him jealous.
He will try to change your lifestyle and you need to keep him updated about everything.
He will suggest you to :
- Cut different male friends out of your life
- Leave out any social events
- Be with them 24/7
- Text them about your whereabouts
So, if you find yourself in these situations, it’s better to take a step back. Because controlling behavior will lead you to a toxic relationship.
8. He might be testing you on how strong your feelings for him
A guy will try to test you a few times during courtship.
You’ll find yourself in different situations such that it might be hard for you to understand.
I have been just talking to a guy and we never admitted that we liked each other but there was a strong connection.
We hung out with each other a lot as friends and he was testing me on how much I mean to him with this question:
He said: Would you rather stay and watch tv with me or go and ski with Jake (my best friend)?
To be honest I was shocked. I said why did you ask me?
He said just because and started behaving differently with me and Jake too after asking that question.
9. He might be dealing with past traumas and has trust issues
According to this study done by Cambridge University jealousy arises when the partner is afraid you’re going to cheat on him again.
Thus, this type of insecurity triggers his old wound and he becomes a green monster out of nowhere.
Sometimes, he might not be aware of the change in his behavior because he’s used to this type of trauma.
In this case, it’s important to approach him and show empathy.
Give him the time and space that he needs to overcome these types of fears and insecurities.
Yet, don’t lose yourself in this process while you try to bring out the best in him.
What healthy jealousy looks like?
Healthy jealousy looks like flirting smoothly and trying to get your attention even more.
It can be expressed with jokes and excessive playful language.
Let’s say a boy tries to talk to your girl, and as a result, you start to feel jealous because you think he is sexually attracted to her and is trying to get her attention.
It is a natural human emotion and at least everybody has experienced this in a form or way.
Now every time people hear jealousy they associate it with something negative, but It all depends on how you as an individual deal with jealousy.
Dr. Leela Magvi described this as “Mild Jealousy.”
Here are a few signs of healthy jealousy:
- Talking about it, not going for the silent treatment, and talking to your partner about your insecurities help any future misunderstandings.
- Accepting it, there is nothing bad with accepting that seeing your partner with another man annoys you.
- Understand what triggers your jealousy, and you will know how to handle them
- Take responsibility, after accepting and talking to your partner, it is time to take responsibility and learn for the better.
Problems only arise for people who find it hard to put aside feelings of jealousy. What impacts jealousy are internal issues that are hard to unfold.
How to deal with a jealous guy in a healthy way?
You can deal with a jealous guy healthily only if you approach this issue with compassion and the right mindset.
The right mindset is the one when you define your feelings and help him to recognize his feelings too.
It’s quite easy to jump to a conclusion and accuse him of being rude, ruthless, or tactless because of his jealousy.
But have you tried to find the source of the jealousy and find a mutual solution?
Hence, if his behavior threatens your peace and you don’t have feelings for him you can:
- Pick the right time and place to have a conversation with him.
- Before talking to him, write down the reasons why his behavior is making you feel a certain way.
- If you have feelings for him too and you think he’s the one then you should address these feelings. Find a healthy way to communicate by being vulnerable and open with one another.
Finally: Defining Male Jealousy Psychology!
A guy gets jealous because he either wants to please his ego and pride or because he can’t imagine his life with you.
Yet, every man expresses jealousy in different ways. He might be rude to you or he might even insist to spend more time with you.
How he reacts due to jealousy depends on how strong his feelings are for you, the source of jealousy, and his attachment style.
But, don’t worry. To get through this situation, you need to define what you feel about him and if his behavior is making you uncomfortable.
Draw your boundaries by talking to him and asking politely to reflect on the situation.