To turn a guy on over text, there are really only two things you need to do: learn what his turn-ons are and try to weave them inside your conversation as naturally as possible.
Contrary to popular belief, texting completely changed the sex game—it makes intimacy available even from a distance.
Yeah, it may not be the same as getting into bed with someone, but knowing how to turn a man on over text will come in handy in your relationship!
– What is your relationship with him?
I’m asking this because you’re either in a relationship with this man or not—this is important when it comes to what you should be doing and if you should be doing it to begin.
- If you and him are dating…
Then initiating a sexual conversation is much more acceptable, though you would still need to know whether he’s in the mood or not.
I am positive you already know what gets your boyfriend going, more or less! You also won’t be judged since sexting is common amongst couples.
Although you would still need to check beforehand, starting a spicy text conversation with someone you have a sexual relationship with is OK.
The two of you might not be as close as you would be if you were officially dating, so you’re going to need to pump your breaks.
You might not be able to get too comfortable with each other in regard to your fantasies, so you’ll find yourself having to hold back.
- If you’re just regular friends…
Then it’s best to rethink your decision of wanting to make things sexual or send unprompted nudes—he might feel uncomfortable.
I say it’s best you either wait until you get out of the friend zone or until he makes the first move!
For all we know, he might even be dating someone else.
Ask him about what he’s into.
If you haven’t already, I recommend you ask him what makes him hot—think of it as choosing the best ingredients for making a yummy casserole.
You can do what everybody else does, but keep in mind that different people find different things “sexy”, so you’re better off confirming his tastes in:
- Colors;
- Outfits;
- Poses;
- Fantasies.
If his favorite color is red, you can use that to your advantage by sending him saucy pictures of you in red lingerie!
You may choose not to have this conversation with him (which in itself will turn him on) and send him pictures of you in blue lingerie…but it’s not going to have the same effect as red lingerie would.
14 sultry tips for turning a man on through text.
While reading these tips, I want you to keep remembering that every guy’s sexual turn-ons vary, hence why I recommended you ask him what his are.
Some of these might help and some might not, but honestly, just how different can someone’s preferences in sexting be?
If you ever want to make your man horny over text, at any point, these tips are all you need!
1. When in doubt, start things off cute and subtle.
You don’t have to go from 1 to 100 by saying something bold like telling him you’re in the mood for something—how about setting the mood first?
Start off by saying something cute and subtle that MIGHT gradually lead to something bigger:
- “Wish you were here right now with me. I am so cold…plus I’m not used to having all the bed to myself. Love you.”
- “How’s my handsome boy doing? I just woke up all happy and the realization that you’re not here hit me. Craving your touch. 🥲❤️”
- I can still smell your cologne on my pillow. Last night was so fun, babe.”
- What business do you have looking this yummy tonight, huh? You’re making me blush. 😚”
This one is for the shy people who like to take it slow and slowly build up sexual tension without having to be the initiator.
2. Ask him spicy questions.
In my experience, asking flirty questions will never fail to turn men on because they think of it as a woman being daring and playful.
You’d basically be making him visualize their wildest fantasies; plus it’s easy to transition to.
- “Ooh, I have a fun question. What is one place you always wanted to have sex in?”
- “Real talk, what’s one look of mine that drove you crazy? I remember one time you wore…”
- Your favorite position? Totally not trying to take notes for the next time we meet. 😛”
- “Which color do you think is the sexiest?”
Ask him general sexy questions, or questions having to do with your sex life (both should do the trick).
3. Start raunchy topics.
You may try indirectly turning your conversation sexual by initiating steamy topics that will unconsciously get him horny.
Doing this ensures that you have a two-way, casual conversation.
- There’s just something about grey sweatpants that’s so hot. Like, I remember that one time you wore them and it got me thinking!”
- “I believe that feelings make sex 100x better. Two people who don’t love one another could still have a great time, but nothing compares to the pleasure two people in love feel.”
- “So, I decided to watch [sexy movie] last night, and oh boy. They were not kidding when they said it was too hot to handle.”
- I had this hot dream last night. Me and you were together in bed and we suddenly started kissing…”
You’re taking him on a steamy, mental journey with each word you say.
4. Talk about your own sexual desires.
When you like someone, everything they do and say gives you the hots—even things you wouldn’t normally be down for.
Your boyfriend will feel aroused simply because YOU are feeling aroused.
- “I’ve always wanted to make out somewhere people might catch us. I don’t know why, but being possibly caught makes it so much hotter.”
- I love it when you put your arm around me! It makes me feel so protected. It’s just so hot.”
- This is a bit out of the blue, but remember how whenever we kiss you grab my face? That’s always been a turn-on of mine.”
- One thing that will always get me is you kissing my forehead.”
5. Send him sexy photos.
I know you’re thinking “Nudes, duh!”, but you don’t have to take off all your clothes to get a man who loves you aroused.
Yeah, it works, but I suggest you don’t do that if you’re not comfortable or if you two don’t have a close relationship.
- Showing around 40% of skin has been proven to drive men crazy, something that happens because it leaves that 60% up to the imagination.
I can’t really comment in regards to what you should wear or what pose to be in because it depends on your boyfriend’s preferences.
- Wear something you know will get him going and strike the sexiest pose you can think of!
6. Innocently compliment him on something hot.
Anyone can give compliments, but if you want to arouse your boyfriend, the key is to give hot compliments in a very innocent way.
Be very casual about it, in other words; guys find it strangely hot when a girl is oblivious to how she’s making them feel.
- “I noticed just how hot your forearms are while we were hanging out today. Is it genetics or gym?”
- You looked so handsome in that black shirt! It really compliments your fit physique.”
- “Your voice is so nice. I never thought hearing my voice come out of another person’s mouth would excite me this much.”
- “Off topic but, I really like how you put your hands on your hips when you’re focused. It looks sexy.”
7. Get your point across by using humor.
This is another tip for the bashful people who just can’t get themselves to be straightforward in these types of situations.
You can make a sexy joke (which I’ll be giving examples about in a bit) and wait for it to get the fire going inside your boyfriend.
Here’s to hoping that he gets the hint!
- “Hold on, let me go turn the AC on. You’re making me feel hot.”
- “I’m craving some coffee right now. Well, you and coffee. Both can keep me up. 😝”
- “Who gave you permission to look this good? I can’t be melting while we’re out on our date tonight. Not at dinner at least…”
- “I’m hungry. Could you help with that?”
8. Give him something special for special occasions.
Do you know how fast-food chains have special menus for each holiday? This is kind of what I’m talking about.
For example, if he finally got a much-deserved promotion, you can congratulate him by sending a tempting picture and saying something like:
- “Here’s a little something for my hard-working man for finally getting what he deserved!”
You can do the same thing with birthdays and Valentine’s Day—this will show him that you appreciate and care for him, which will arouse him for sure.
9. “I bought this just for you!”
There is something so appealing about your partner doing something specifically just for you that many can’t wrap their heads around.
The effort is cute and whatever it is they did is even sexier.
Tell him you bought the exact type of color outfit he likes and send him multiple photos showing it off—the photos are what will have him turned on.
- “Look! I got this hoodie because I remember you telling me you LOVE emerald green. Do you like it?”
I mean, how can he not like it?
10. Suggest him sensual songs.
This is yet another indirect way of arousing a man over text, but there’s no telling whether he’ll fall for it or not.
You can try suggesting sexy songs to get the mood right and hope that they’ll affect his libido.
- “Do you want to know what my favorite song is? I’m a bit embarrassed because it’s pretty sexual, but it’s [the song].”
Sexy movies should have the same effect, so you can take your favorite one and talk about it until he’s convinced enough to watch it.
11. Tell him what you will do when you next meet up.
Tease him a little bit by talking in depth about what you two are going to do on your next date.
Don’t leave out any sexy details regarding your plan.
- “I can’t wait to see you again. Not to spoil it. But I have something hot planned and it includes all of your favorite things.😘”
- “Get ready because the next time we see each other I’m going to show you just how much I’ve missed your body.❤️”
- “So, after dinner, I was thinking we could go back to my place and I can show you the brand-new lingerie I bought.”
- “Remember when you were telling me how you liked that one thing? I’ve taken notes and I’ll make sure our next date is unforgettable.”
Throw him a bone so that he doesn’t get tired of waiting! Encouraging him to visualize you two in sexy scenarios will get his gears going.
12. Send him voice messages.
Long-distance couples listen up because if you’re worried you can’t turn someone on over text alone, I am here to put an end to your worries.
- Visual stimulus.
Sight is the most polarizing sense and what many people use to make decisions.
We already talked about how you can visually stimulate a man to turn him on over text: with the help of sexy images!
- Auditory stimulus.
Most social media platforms (Instagram, Messenger, Snapchat, etc.) offer a voice message option…don’t be shy to use them!
Whether it be to say something sexy or just send daily updates—hearing your voice alone will leave a mark on him.
Plus it adds some variety to your text conversations.
13. Make him feel manly.
The Hero Instinct theory (that says men love feeling like protectors) could be applied in this situation as well.
You can start by complimenting his looks and personality and how his manliness never fails to woo you.
- “You’re so strong, thank you again for helping me with those boxes. You really saved me back there.”
- “I really like your arms. I don’t know why, but they’re so nice.”
14. Describe to him what you’re currently doing.
Describing to them what you’re currently doing and what you’re wearing seems to drive men crazy because, again, it gives them something to imagine.
It slowly gets them going until they reach the point of actually getting turned on, all while you’re not conspicuously trying to achieve that.
- “I’m just lying down in bed, wearing my tank top and shorts. It’s pretty hot so I’m feeling lazy.”
In the end, anything the person you love does should do the trick, so based on that theory, this is my last tip!
Before you get to the juicy stuff, make sure the mood is right.
Sometimes, someone won’t be able to make us budge no matter how hot they are simply because the circumstances aren’t right.
Imagine you come home late from work, feeling a combination of drained and irritable, to your partner sexting.
You would most likely pass up the opportunity, right?
- Make sure your partner is in the best possible mood to reciprocate your enthusiasm.
To create the optimal situation of not having your efforts go to waste, these criteria must be filled:
- He’s not busy;
- He is home;
- He has privacy;
- And he is not upset.
If he’s not reciprocating your efforts…
If he’s not into it, regardless of the reason, you should respect his answer.
It’s best to take a step back if he refuses to take things any further as sexual intimacy is a sensitive topic for many.
- It’s possible he doesn’t see you that way (if you’re not dating) or he has other personal reasons that stop him from wanting to get intimate.
We should always put ourselves in others’ shoes.
– Be careful who you’re sexually opening up to!
Before sending sexual photos to a partner, make sure you 100% trust them not to show them to other people—this happens a lot sadly.
This is another reason why I don’t recommend you try to get this kind of attention from someone you’re not dating.
- As a rule, remember not to include your face in steamy photos so that no one can use them against you.
Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
You might want to keep this guy interested, but really, do you want to do it at the expense of your happiness?
If he’s with you only for arousal, then you’re better off cutting ties and finding someone who values your comfort.
But, if you’re doing this of your own free will, then carry on! Otherwise, it’s just not worth sacrificing your principles.
Love,
Callisto.
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