Wanting to feel loved and experience it isn’t something you should be ashamed of.
To avoid being called desperate is to find ways you can text him and show interest without being labeled clingy or needy.
Texting a guy without sounding desperate means avoiding coming on too strong to him and avoiding demanding his attention.
Rather, to text a guy without sounding desperate you should respect his time and space, while also being considerate and genuine of his and your feelings and time.
It is the manner in which you say things rather than the frequency of texts that you send him.
You can still sound desperate if you text him once a month, while you can text him every day and not give him the same impression.
Take a look at the 13 ultimate tips on how to text a guy without sounding desperate:
1. Avoid sending strings of texts simultaneously
Texting all the time without a break might make you seem desperate.
Make pauses in between texts and respond to them only after he has texted you back.
You shouldn’t send a string of texts without a break, that will make you seem desperate, especially if your texts didn’t have a purpose.
You can text him with a purpose, like setting up a meeting date, confirming plans, and sending a follow-up text if he doesn’t respond in time.
Text him without sounding desperate, you avoid flooding his inbox with texts that demand replies, or pressure him into replying to you.
2. Avoid handing compliments like freebies
Text him compliments occasionally but don’t hand them over too often.
Your compliments need to be valuable and not essay accessible, as they will lose their meaning if they’re just thrown around casually.
Complimenting him non-stop might get him over the top and annoy him. This will make you look desperate for his attention when texting a guy.
To avoid sounding desperate when texting a guy, don’t over-praise him, instead give him gentle reminders of appreciation.
You can text a guy without sounding desperate by reacting to his texts calmly and collected, followed by reasonable enthusiasm.
3. Avoid pushing the conversation going when it already reaches a dead-end
If you don’t want to text a guy without seeming clingy, then you shouldn’t try to recover an already dead conversation. Give him a break.
Avoid attempting to keep the conversation going when you sense that he isn’t willing to do so.
By continuing the conversation forcefully, you will leave him with the impression that you are needy and desperate.
You won’t look desperate when texting a guy by understanding that you don’t have to push him to engage in a conversation with you.
To text a guy you like without seeming desperate, you should respect his boundaries, and your boundaries, and understand that only that much is achievable over text.
4. Relax, give him time to reply
If you don’t want to seem desperate, needy, and clingy when texting, then you should avoid using an accusing tone when texting him.
Relax and make some space for him to put in some effort, and more importantly, room to answer your text.
You might look desperate if you have been doing 90% of the talking and him only contributing 10%.
Try maintaining a balanced ratio of texting between you two.
In addition, when he finally responds to your texts, don’t drop everything just to respond to his texts.
Respect your boundaries, give him space, but most importantly, give yourself space.
Respect your boundaries and expect them to be respected by him as well.
5. Share your opinions, you don’t have to agree on everything
You might get the impression that for him to like you, you need to agree with everything he says, and share the same thoughts as him.
In contrast, to not look desperate when texting a guy, you should uphold your boundaries, opinions, and thoughts.
You can disagree on certain aspects, and that’s okay.
To not sound desperate when texting a guy, you need to show him that you are your person, opinionated, and of high value.
Just because you have shown interest in him, it doesn’t mean that you will agree to everything just to get his attention.
6. Avoid dropping everything just to get to him
To text a guy without sounding desperate, you shouldn’t go out of your way to make room for him on that day, if it is already full.
You can text him, but also you need to respect your time and other occupations.
By letting him know that you are busy and won’t have time to chat at the moment, but you’d love to continue it later, you won’t sound desperate for him.
On the contrary, it just shows that you are a human that has things to do and that you can’t be readily available for him whenever he wants.
By dropping everything to respond to his texts you tell him that you have nothing to do, that you were waiting for his texts, or you’re bored and are waiting for someone to entertain you.
If he genuinely likes you, he’ll stick around despite your busy agenda.
7. Take it easy with the ‘relationship’ statements
One thing that you shouldn’t say when texting a guy to not look desperate is the fact that you’re seeing him as husband material or similar statements.
Although, these aren’t something that will make you look desperate, needy, or clingy when you are looking for a love interest.
However, the manner in which you present it will make you seem desperate and clingy.
Because that will leave him with the impression that you will settle with the first guy that accepts you, which is not the case.
Therefore, you can talk about common interests, hobbies, and current events, and joke, flirt, and tease him, which will not make you look desperate at all. On the contrary, you are being genuine and showing sincere interest.
8. Don’t beg him to take you out
Avoid over-suggesting hanging out or going on dates if he keeps rejecting you.
Sure, you won’t look desperate if you suggest going out together once or twice.
However, don’t cling to the idea that he isn’t taking you out, and beg him to do so.
So do not seem desperate when texting the guy you like, propose to meet up once, and if he doesn’t take you up on it leave it at that.
You have done your job, now the ball is in his court.
When he has been distant over text, don’t aggressively suggest hanging out or insist on your texts.
Rather be understanding and give him some space, this will make you look mature and not desperate for him.
To avoid sounding desperate when texting him first, you should be yourself and be confident in your messages.
When texting him first, you can ask him to meet up, discuss current events, and ask basic questions to get to know him.
If you are trying to avoid seeming desperate when texting the guy you like, avoid being self-deprecating or pointing out your flaws to get compliments from him.
Be true to yourself and avoid creating another character to win his approval.
Show your traits, thoughts, beliefs, and values, and be genuine and interested.
10. Avoid sexting all the time
Sure, sexting can be fun. But overdoing it will result in making you look desperate for more, especially if you are the one to initiate it.
To text a guy without seeming desperate, you shouldn’t make everything sexual. Avoid accepting his sexual advances all the time.
To not look desperate when texting a guy you like, you need to know when you can push and pull and which conversations aren’t up for discussion when you have just started talking.
If it’s crossing your boundary, stop it there.
Make your boundaries clear, and if he’s not okay with it, then he did you a favor by removing himself from the list of people you should date.
11. Don’t fish for compliments
If you don’t want to look desperate when texting a guy you like then you shouldn’t put yourself down as a way of fishing for his compliments.
Anything from insulting your intelligence, beauty, personality, beauty, and flaws, will make you seem desperate for his attention and acceptance.
Not only should you not give anyone the right to see you through that lens, but you shouldn’t let yourself fall prey to such an unhealthy habit.
Fishing for compliments is the opposite of confidence. Trust me, you don’t have to MAKE him see your beauty.
Being desperate and needy, and putting your joy into the hands of a person you’ve just met can be a sign of low self-esteem.
If you’re dealing with low self-esteem try talking to your therapist about it, participate in activities that bring you emotional fulfillment, and start a self-care journey where your goal is self-appreciation.
12. You have nothing to prove to him: don’t try to pitch yourself
Avoid oversharing about yourself without leaving anything for him to be curious about.
Save the stories of your great achievements and how much of an incredible person you are, and let him discover that on his own.
Don’t hand it to him on a silver platter. You don’t have to prove anything to him, and you absolutely don’t have to pitch yourself to him.
So, texting the guy you like without sounding desperate, you should relax and let your amazingness come across. Let things flow naturally.
Avoid manifesting yourself into creating an exaggerated picture of yourself, instead be humble and your attractiveness will show and glow!
13. Don’t chase him
Let’s break down the myth of chasing. We are not in the 50s anymore, and there shouldn’t be the expectation that only he needs to pursue you, and not the other way around.
Times have changed. However, it is common knowledge that something that comes easily is not valued properly.
Therefore, to text a guy without sounding desperate, you should not excessively pursue him, if he doesn’t act the same.
Put the same effort into pursuing him as he does. Otherwise, it will make you seem desperate and needy for his attention.
So don’t always be the one to initiate chats, arrange dates, and the one to keep the conversation going, by avoiding these, you can text him without sounding desperate.
Texting a guy first without sounding desperate: Examples of how you do it right!
When wanting to text him for the first time, many possibilities on how your initiative can be labeled as desperate.
People shouldn’t be ashamed if their feelings of wanting something are classified, it isn’t something you should be ashamed of.
Here are some text examples that show you’re not desperate when you text him first:
- “Hey X, I had a great time chatting with you yesterday. I’d love to continue our discussion over Coffee sometime soon. Does Friday at 7 pm work for you?”
- “Hey, I just remembered that you are a mechanic and I was looking to buy a new car. I do have a budget, and I’d love to get some insight on what I can get around that. We can do that over drinks, on Tuesday after 7 pm if you’re free.”
- “Hi, I’ve noticed that you love skiing and have done some great trails. I’m in town next week and I wanted to know some trails I should do. I’d love to get some suggestions from you.”
- [Address a picture of his] “Wow, that looks amazing. I haven’t heard of this place yet. Is the food as good as it looks?”
- “Hey, I got two tickets to the game downtown. Would you like to keep me company?”
- “How did the finalization of your project go? Did it meet your client’s expectations?”
- “Good luck with your project tomorrow. You’re gonna nail it!”
You can even send a meme if you can’t think of anything at all or start the conversation with a joke. Avoid sounding demanding, accusing, or needy.
You shouldn’t overthink every text you send. If you want to ask him something, do it, but just pay attention to the delivery.
The wrong delivery is what can make you come off as desperate, not the content of the text only.
To text a guy without looking desperate you need to be yourself and not show excessive amounts of attention, such as texting him to the point you’ll be annoying, or fishing for compliments which will make you look insecure.
Be true to yourself, respect your boundaries and make them clear, and avoid defining your self-worth by what he thinks of you.