Is there a best possible way to reject a guy? Well, no; No, there isn’t an exact way to reject him without hurting him. Rejection hurts either way.
Whether you reject him gently or harshly or funnily there would always be enough room to judge you and take your words wrongly.
Whether he’s your best friend, a guy you met at the bar, some online guy, or a man you have had a few dates with, it is quite all right and fair to tell him that you are not interested in him.
Rejecting a guy who is nice to you and rejecting a guy who has been creeping on you for some time are two different things; therefore use these tips rationally and according to your situation.
To know which tip in which situation to use, I’ve divided this article into these six parts:
- Part one: When he asks you on a date
- Part two: When you aren’t interested in him after the first date
- Part three: When you aren’t interested after a few dates
- Part four: When you want to let him know you are not interested after leading him on
- Part five: After accidentally giving him your number and regretting it. You have lost interest now!
- Part six: When you have been talking to him only online but you do not want to be involved with him romantically
Let’s jump into 14 ways to know how to tell him that you’re not interested:
Part one: When he asks you on a date…
There are plenty of guys that might want to take you on a date. He could be a friend of yours, someone you knew for a long time, or just a guy you have been talking to that night at the bar.
It’s important to know how to be polite when rejecting him according to the situation.
1. Do not tell lies to him, even if they are white lies!
A wrong way of rejecting guys can be by saying: I am sorry but I have a boyfriend (if you don’t have one) or wearing a fake ring, or even saying that you are interested in someone else right now (if that is not real).
The white lies are going to backfire on you because most guys take these reasons as a challenge or as a way for him to pursue you even more.
Instead, be straightforward with him. Here are a few examples of what you can say instead of lying to him:
To a guy that you just met: “I am aware that you are interested in me but I am not interested in getting romantically involved with you. Wish you all well.”
To your best friend: “I am extremely happy that you are my friend but I do not feel anything more than friendly chemistry between you and me.”
2. Do not give him false hope/attention and be honest with him
If you want to make him sure that you are not interested in him then avoid doing things that will give him your attention.
The things that you might or have done to give him false attention are fake smiling at his jokes, flirting with him, or even going to the movies with him.
You may do it for different reasons, maybe for not wanting to hurt his feelings or make you look bad. But, if you go on with it for some time you will give him the wrong idea.
3. Do not offer friendship to him after he is interested in you
The worst thing that you can do to a guy that you are about to reject is to offer your friendship.
Here’s an example if you want to tell him that you see him only as a friend:
“Listen, I am flattered about your feelings for me, but I don’t feel the same way about you; Hope you will find someone that will be good to you.”
The moment you offer friendship to him after turning him down, he will feel small and his ego will be destroyed, or you’ll lead him to find a spark of hope that someday you’ll be available to him.
Once his romantic feelings are involved, it will be quite difficult for you two to be just friends.
Part two: When you want to tell him you are not interested after the first date
1. Start by not sending him mixed signals after the first date and let’s be firm
If you are sure that you are not interested in him after the first date, make sure you tell him right away.
If he’s interested after the first date and asks you to hang out or have a second date and then you tell him that you’re busy today or that you have this important thing to do tomorrow, he won’t get the clues.
Guys cannot understand it; you need to let him know directly – speak his language.
For instance, he won’t get it if you tell him:
“Now it is not the right moment to have a romantic relationship with me.” or “It is not you, it is me. I can’t be a perfect fit right now for you.”
You’re not saying directly that you are not interested in him.
2. Use your text message as a way to convey your statement
If you had only just had one date with him and you do not consider going out with him anymore, you should just send a straightforward text, for example:
“I enjoyed our first date and all the conversations. I am glad I had the chance to meet you but I do not feel that type of chemistry to go on anymore. Thank you for your time. I truly appreciate it.
Part three: You are not interested in him after a few dates
1. Make sure you treat him just like everyone else
If you noticed recently that you lack interest in me, just start to distance yourself. You can do it by treating him just like anyone else.
Change your tone of voice when he calls, this will ring a bell. Not immediately. But it will be a way to start the process of letting him know that you are not into him.
This is the first step to lead him to the idea that you are not interested in him anymore. Then after a few steps, you can go on with the following tips.
2. Avoid using ‘Soft Ghosting’ and be direct with him
Even after having a few dates with him, you should find the appropriate way to confess to him that you are not interested.
To tell him you are not interested in him even after a few days, avoid not responding to him or sending him a simple emoji just to make him think that you are responding coldly.
Instead: You can be direct and still be kind. Keep the conversation short and simple. Ask him if you can call and explain everything or even meet.
3. Call him and tell him face to face about your feelings and decision
If you had a few dates with him and had some type of connection but now it’s lost, it is better to face him: let him know face to face.
Ask him to meet up so that you explain your feelings towards him. If you had invested just a little time and feelings into one another then it is better to solve things this way.
4. Do not use ambiguous or unclear phrases to deliver your rejection
Do not start the conversation with: “Right now I do not see myself involved with you romantically.” or “Maybe right now I’m not ready for a relationship.”
If you use this type of explanation he would immediately think that there will be room for him in the future. If you do not feel that way, avoid using: “but” “if” “maybe” “right now”.
5. Use real compliments and do not say “Sorry”
If you want to explain your lack of interest to him, do not start with sorry.
An example of how you can be polite even if you don’t include sorry:
“You are such a fun and cool guy to be around but to be honest I do not feel attracted to you.”
Part four: You want to tell him you are not interested after leading him on
The worst part of this situation is that most women aren’t even aware that they gave the guy the wrong idea.
Some just go along with those feelings because they feel alone and/or bored. But still… You should tell him that you’re not interested, now you want to know how to tell him that you are not interested.
Whether you did it purposely or not, you must tell him that now you are not interested – you owe him an explanation.
1. Do not breadcrumb him any further: Explain yourself to him
Explain to him why things won’t progress or work out between you two: You owe him a conversation. Be honest, do not drag it. Tell him that it was all wrong for making him believe in your intention and feelings.
An example of what not leading him on looks like: “I am sorry that I have led you on and played with your feelings. It was wrong from the start what I’ve done. I am not interested in dating you. I do not feel that type of connection. I wish you the best of luck!”
He deserves to have a reason why you do not want to continue that type of relationship.
If you did this to escape loneliness, or wanting to make your ex jealous or even to pass the time, you owe him a sincere apology.
Part five: You gave him your number and you regret it big time!
There are times when you meet a cute guy, you flirt and give him your number but then you regret it. You gave him your number, of course, he assumes that you are interested in him.
It is quite alright to change your mind. If you want to handle this situation quite well, follow this:
1. Ask him politely to not call or text you
If he is a guy that you have known a little bit then reject him gracefully. When he calls, just say that you made that step by giving him your number but you do not feel quite alright to hang out with him and give him false hopes.
Thank him for his intentions but explain to him that your intentions towards him aren’t quite the same.
If a stranger has got your number just send him a short text saying that you are not interested in going out with him.
Here’s a good example of what you can say:
“My attitude towards you was abrupt and I acted without thinking. I wish you the best!”
There is no need to explain yourself for taking this decision to someone you have just met.
Note: If he doesn’t understand your decision and keeps insisting do not text him or pick up his calls. If he keeps doing it, you can block his number.
Part six: You have been talking to him only online
If he is a guy who you have been talking to online only and not met in real life, try to keep your explanations short and simple.
1. Be simple, short, and precise when rejecting him.
Perhaps he texts you every day, or at least regularly, and reacts to all your stories or comments on your posts but still, you are not interested. Tell him in a short form.
Do not ghost him or delete him, since he will be bugging you more if you just vanish out of nowhere.
If he reacted to your story and wrote something, do not like his response or reply with just an emoji to act distant to him. This will mislead him.
Just send the right message by saying that you are not interested in him as he is in you.
2. You’ve been kind and nice to him, be nice and kind while rejecting him too
If your connection was nice, but not nice enough to move it into a date then you can text him in more simple ways without making a fuss out of it.
A few examples of how that simple way of telling him would look like:
“If my short responses led you to believe something that is not I will apologize for that, it was not my intention to do that. I’m not interested in having a connection more than being friendly with you.”
“I think you’re fun to talk to, but I don’t think we’re a good match. You deserve love, but unfortunately, I’m not the one that can provide that for you.”
A few examples on how to reject him over text: Let’s go over these examples:
Telling him you are not interested after the first date:
- “Last night was really fun, but I can’t go on any further. I just don’t feel the chemistry. Take care.”
- “Look, I don’t want to waste your time. We had a great time, but I am not looking forward to a relationship.”
Telling him you are not interested after having a few dates:
Him: Hey, are you busy this Saturday? We had fun these last few times.
You: Hey John, thank you for your invitation and your time. I am sorry but I think that we’re completely different. It is way better to leave things here. Thank you, and good luck.
When he asks you out for a date:
Him: Hey, Eveleen. Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?
You: Thank you. But I think that we’re completely different and not compatible.
You seem like a cool guy. But I want to focus on myself and being in a relationship/dating wouldn’t help much on that. Thank you though!
If he is just a stranger and asks you out, here are two examples you can use:
“Thanks for the invitation but I’m not interested.”
“That’s nice of you but I am not interested in dating.”
When you lead him on:
“Hey, Matt. Just wanted to be honest with you. I am sorry if I had mixed your thoughts but I am not interested in you romantically. I’d like to explain, can I call you?”
When your best friend or just a friend asks you out on a date via text:
“Joe. I like and value you the most. But I get along with you better as a friend.”
“Thank you for your words. I think there would be other lucky people to date you, but I see you only as a friend.”
When you have been just texting with him for some months but haven’t met yet:
If you have lost interest while texting a guy and your conversation seems dry for some time. You need to text him something like this to show him that you’ve lost interest:
“Hey, Jim. It was nice talking to you these months. But, the spark of the convo is lost and I don’t want to waste your time. Wish you the best.”
Harsh & funny texts you don’t want to send him but want to imagine you did
These could be a bit rude and harsh in the real life, but here’s something you can joke about with your friends:
- You see the ring that I’m wearing, I promised myself to always be single.
- It would be nice to go out with you tomorrow night, but I guess my cat will die.
- I am so sorry, I would love to but The Rock won’t accept sharing his wife. So…
- Sorry, I can’t. I have to walk my unicorn.
- Not today John, not today!
- Well, it would be nice. But, my comfort zone won’t let me.
- Thanks for your offer. I will let my future self know by sending her an email.
- Sorry, but this year I might consider disappearing.
- I have already booked a trip to ‘Idontwanttodate.com’, so I’m not available.
- I have had a meeting with my consciousness and my thoughts. They just said NO.
How do you know that you’re not interested in him?
Many signs will let you know that you are not interested in him.
- If he texts you or calls you are not quite excited about it.
- You do not bother to spare time to hang out with him.
- He is hardly ever on your mind.
- You are constantly thinking about somebody else.
- You are not sexually attracted to him.
- His compliments and persistence towards you make you feel uncomfortable.
- You just feel in your gut he is not the one for you.
Why can’t some guys deal with being rejected? Why does he keep insisting and persisting? How to deal with it?
If you wonder why a guy doesn’t take rejection well, you should keep in mind that none of us can handle rejection in a champ-ish way, it’s not only him.
Even men may act differently from one another towards being rejected. What makes him act furiously towards rejection is his low self-esteem, his ego, his ways of perceiving rejection, etc.
Here’s what you should do if you find yourself in such a position:
1. Assure him that you are not interested in him, you are not pushing him away!
2. Tell him that you’re clear on your decision. The problem is not him. The problem is that you are not interested. It is just your feelings, emotions, and thoughts that do not fit to have something more with him.
3. If you can, avoid frequenting the places where you might meet him. Try to hang out with your friends more and have an entourage if you feel safer that way. Do not give him even the slightest attention.
4. If he doesn’t respect your decision, then feel free to take precautions! If he keeps persisting in meeting you or calling and texting, block him or change your number.
Also, if he begins to be aggressive or calls you names then you should leave it all to the law.
Let’s conclude it here: What is the best way to reject him without hurting his feelings?
You cannot avoid hurting his feelings, whether you’re being honest or giving him false reasons about it.
Giving him the truth will help him on self-reflection, on the other hand, if you lie to him you mislead him.
The best way to reject him is by being honest and telling him what you think at that moment, what is preventing you from being interested in him. Be careful with your tone of voice, and keep in mind that you’re putting him in a fragile position.
Most importantly, be understanding. Don’t tolerate bad words towards you. If he’s mature enough, he’ll handle it.