This article will provide you with fun, playful and secure ways to tease a guy over text.
Teasing should be done effectively and be consensual, thus, you should stick to simplicity, and originality and respect his boundaries.
Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself what type of teasing would make you feel good.
Browse a man’s mind through his preferences and his attachment style!
No matter if you’re in the talking stage, dating, or in a relationship, following these tips will help you sharpen your teasing skills.
Shortly, these tips are simple, well-thought, and practical based on our work with clients, our experience, and based on scientific research!
Let’s embark on this journey together and figure it all out! 14 tips to tease a guy over text
1. Disagree or sarcastically agree with something that he said
Using sarcasm to tease him through text is always like walking on eggshells.
Yet, it will be effective if you use sarcasm as a compliment.
If you want to use a good topic to start a conversation with him, then use lighthearted humor.
For example, if he has a dog then text him something like this:
“One of you looks cuter than the other. Wanna find out which one😅?”
You’re complimenting him and at the same time, you’re flirting and teasing him.
Throughout this text, you’ll get to know his type of humor and whether he likes to joke around or not.
2. Use inside jokes and be flirty
So, using experience to find common ground is a safe way to tease a guy through text.
Even if you’re just talking and not dating yet, you can use past conversations to tease him a bit.
If he mentioned that he likes to eat bananas with jam and not peanut butter, you can use this detail to tease him.
1. “I saw a strawberry jam at Trader Joe’s today. Are those poor bananas still being sprinkled with jam?”
On the other hand, if you’re dating then it might be a bit easier for you because you have more things to talk about.
2. “Joel, remember when Caleb used to call you Sugar Lips because I kissed you for the first time after I ate a sugary doughnut.”
3. Use ambiguous words
You can use ambiguous words if you’re not sure what he thinks or feels about you. You’ll place safe, tease, and flirt with him at the same time.
Select the right words that express ambiguity and show what you like to emphasize or mean.
“Are you ready for some action tonight?”
- The word action in this case means “to have fun”, “to do something exciting”, or “to have s*x”.
Yet, if you decide to use these words make sure that you know him quite well and that you know his sense of humor.
Some men don’t like this type of humor or some might not get the hint.
That’s why you need to build some connection with him before using ambiguous words.
4. Provide him with the “Unexpected”
Based on my experience with my first boyfriend and my first experience teasing a guy over text, I tried to get his attention differently.
My friends, my siblings, and other people used to guide me and start with sexual innuendos.
Well, I didn’t feel like my real self doing it. So, I decided to do it on my way. I chose to get his attention by writing a sentence with an unexpected end.
So, I texted him: “Sometimes I look at you and say: Damn he is one of the hottest people around here..after me.”
He replied: “Do you wanna bet about it?”… That’s how our conversation started!
5. Challenge him
In general, a man likes to be challenged every time that he has the opportunity.
That makes him feel powered, increases his masculinity, and boosts his confidence.
So, to give him a good push you can text him something like:
“I bet that you can’t beat me at chess anymore. I am the champion🙈.”
“I don’t know who is going to look hotter tonight, me or you? Well, game on. Let’s see.”
A man’s mind and behavior it’s a bit hard to be decoded. Therefore, a personal coach’s help will dust away your confusion.
6. Make him feel special
Dating expert and psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson claimed that “People must earn your vulnerability.”
So, to tease him over text and be successful, you should reveal slowly things about yourself.
Yet, give him the “power” to put effort into getting to know you.
Let him know a special story from your life or your childhood.
Then you can ask him the same and flatter him a little.
“I bet you were a strong child who used to climb mountains. Your physique says so not me, lol.”
7. Make up some funny scenarios
I used to do some crazy things in my youth-hood while I was dating.
One of the things that I used to tease my boyfriend over text was to create funny and hot scenarios in my head.
Yet, these scenarios were shared with him too.
I wanted to know what he thinks of me and how he perceived my crazy side and my love.
“Instead of kissing me for three hours straight in my dream last night, come here and prove it that’s what you would do in reality.”
8. Avoid using mean words and don’t spot his flaws
Teasing him doesn’t mean that you need to be mean or use inappropriate words to bring him down.
Please, avoid teasing him about his self-confidence or self-esteem because that will impact him and you negatively.
Instead, spot his good traits.
“I don’t think that there is a stronger man alive than you.”
“God called and said: Don’t let this man escape from your life because he’s out of this world.”
To be more consensual and respect his boundaries, you should try to understand his personality/attachment style.
Learn more about his experience and why he acts like that. Shortly, be responsive to his needs by taking a step back and communicating differently.
You can use ambiguous words that have dirty meanings with someone that you’ve just started dating or you’re getting to know him.
But if you want to tease your boyfriend through text then you can ask direct dirty questions and make him blush.
“If you would have a superpower, how would you use it on me?”
“What do you think would blue underwear go with my eyes?”
“What would you do if I would tell you that I’m at your door waiting for you in my favorite lingerie?”
The most important thing is to not make him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
Use words and “dirty” situations that you think will make him comfortable and turn him on.
Get to know more about his sexual preferences by meeting him in person first or by opening up first about this topic.
10. Make him curious
To tease a guy thru text, you don’t need to reveal everything about you to do it.
Try to be honest and open with him but at the same time leave some space for him to wonder.
To achieve scarcity use the “You know what?” method. This method will raise his curiosity and allow him to make a move to tease you back.
“You know what? I have planned a perfect date for us but I’m not telling you where or what we’re doing. Wait and see. Friday 8:00 pm, your house.”
11. Put him on a pedestal
Mention something that you notice in him and exaggerate it a little bit.
“Omg that beard, that beard of yours. I don’t know, I’m not quite sure, but famous models, would kill you for that.”
“Your smile could eclipse the sun. Well, I don’t know if you think the same. Anything you wanna say???”
Keep in mind that while teasing him and exaggerating, choose words that he’ll believe too.
Otherwise, he would take it as if you’re just laughing at him.
12. Use call-back humor and make it powerful
If you use a funny or even a simple situation to form a new one that will impact both of you positively then use callback humor.
“You promised me breakfast in bed on Valentine’s day. You call a chocolate bar and a cup of hot cocoa breakfast🤣?”
Therefore, you need to be careful what type of situation you use of what words you choose to tease him.
Because sometimes you might think that that situation was funny but he might not feel comfortable mentioning or remembering it.
13. Don’t overthink it, be spontaneous
Teasing him over text should be done organically.
That can be achieved only by using your own experience, respecting his desires and wishes, and being spontaneous.
Otherwise, if you write, delete, write again another text, and copy-paste words from somewhere else, that will seem fake.
Thus, use your own words and experience to tease him. This will be valued more by him.
14. Compare him to something sweet or tasty
A man doesn’t like to be compared unless he’s compared to something sexy, sweet, or a hero.
So, to tease him over the text you can compare him to a cake, a piece of chocolate, or a spicy lasagna.
Even Shakespeare teased his lover when he compared her to summer days “Should I compare thy to a summer’s day?”
Thus, make sure to know what type of food he likes and what he finds interesting and incorporate it into your text.
How to make teasing effective over text?
Finding the right balance between building attraction and making him comfortable makes teasing effective.
Finding this balance over text can be difficult because using hints, innuendos, ad humor over text might be misunderstood.
1. Thus, to avoid it, you need to understand his type of humor.
To read his reaction and respond accordingly to it, you need to tease him subtly first.
Try something like: “Omg you like The Beatles? Still *insert a tongue-out emoji*”
Putting emojis in your messages helps you a lot to break the ice and avoid any type of misunderstanding.
2. Try to balance your type of humor too. Don’t be constantly sarcastic or just funny.
Because this will make the process boring and he’ll get uncomfortable with that type of writing.
According to Filik (2016) using sarcasm in your text and how the recipient will take it depends on the way you’re using it.
Whether you’re using the sarcasm to praise or criticize him.
So, you’ll know how to use sarcasm and funny phrases according to his personality and type of humor.
3. If you don’t know him very well, or just a bit then start to communicate more and create a good rapport.
Then teasing is easy once you get close and learn more about one another.
You won’t take words literally and be hurt.
4. Make sure you choose the proper way and time to tease him.
If he’s having a hard time or is tired then you can put him in a good mood by being compassionate and not teasing him.
You can use a light-hearted joke that will boost his confidence and his ego.
On the other hand, if you notice that you’re enjoying each other’s company try to tease him about his favorite band or other preferences.
5. The last one, is BELIEVE in YOURSELF.
Teasing should be done with confidence to be effective.
Otherwise, if you start using sarcasm to just elevate yourself and put him down then flirting will go wrong.
He will take it negatively and it might end in conflict or he might even ghost you or breadcrumb you.
How to communicate effectively when you tease a guy over text? How to handle rejection?
If he doesn’t respond to your teasing in the same way or not at all, you shouldn’t overreact.
Teasing should be used to build a healthy relationship. Indeed, if you like or love this guy so much, it’s hard to swallow it.
Especially, if you started dating or when you’re in a relationship, you want to form an attraction together.
Hence, don’t blame yourself constantly or attack your self-esteem.
~Instead, try to be subjective. You should read the text again and check the tone of the message.
It’s not preferable to get stuck in that message and overthink everything.
What I mean is to check what type of reply he used: whether he isn’t interested or he is uncomfortable.
This can be spotted easily if you know his personality.
~The second thing that you should do is check if he is enjoying the conversation so far.
Ask simple questions or flirty ones that will trigger him to answer.
For example: “I am assuming that you’re having fun with me so far.”
“What can I say, no one has made you laugh this hard as me.”
If he replies and what type of reply he gives you, you will be able to check if he is enjoying the teasing or not.
~If you don’t get a positive response, change your approach or the course of the conversation.
Try to show your other side. Be compassionate, be interested in him, and let him know more about you.
How much you reveal depends on your relationship with this guy and how comfortable you feel sharing your information with him.
~In the end, try to understand him and respect his boundaries or decision.
If he doesn’t like teasing or flirting to this extent then try to build a bond with him differently.
Be interested in what way he likes to communicate with him and build up an emotional and sexual bond.
The Bottom Line: How to tease him through text?
The main way to tease a guy over text is to use a light joke or challenge him to the extent that he feels comfortable too.
This process should be enjoyable for both of you.
Otherwise, if you’re the only one who teases him then he’ll either reply shortly or will ghost you.
Thus, you should use playful language and create some space for him to interact too.
Give him special attention to the way he interacts with you and your teasing.
Because only then you’ll know how to continue to text and whether to go further with teasing or not.