Attraction is a perplexing thing, with hundreds of different definitions—all, of course, depending on who you ask.
So it’s hard enough that we have to deal with something so abstract, especially if you’re attempting to get someone to want you and you only.
But we’ve cracked the code! To swoop a guy off his feet, it all starts with studying his personality.
Describe me his personality, please!
If you want this guy to want you, the first step is to pinpoint exactly just what his personality is or you might turn him away instead.
Is he:
- a) A playful guy;
- b) An empath;
- c) Ambitious and goal-driven;
- d) Someone who appreciates alone time;
- e) Or a player?
Take a moment to think, and once you have your answer, you may proceed; the reason why I’m asking this is pretty simple:
People are attracted to people they’re compatible with—someone who shares the same values and lifestyle.
For example, if your guy is funny, you better start taking notes on what will make him laugh! But that doesn’t mean he won’t appreciate a kind-hearted conversation.
It’s a mix-and-match situation in which the only person who can make the call is you.
– Consequently, I advise you to become friends with him first.
If you don’t have any kind of relationship with this person—platonic or romantic—then I suggest you become friends first.
Most successful relationships start off as friendships because it establishes some sort of foundation between two people.
This way you both get closer to each other, and you will learn about what you need to do to earn his affection.
You can choose to take the bold route and act without knowing him too well…but again, you could be unintentionally hurting your chances of making him yours instead.
And with that, let me show you the different approaches to making a man want you.
1. Be unexpected, be fun!
A spontaneous woman is sure to catch the attention of a fun-loving, playful guy and prevent him from getting bored.
Making him feel a range of emotions will get him addicted (figuratively) over time and have him craving more—this is the human nature we’re talking about.
- Talk about different topics every day, visit different date locations, switch up your clothes, and be humorous.
You might want to stray away from the same ol’, boring topics or dry replies as they could (and will) get you stuck in the friend zone.
Please, avoid texting him stuff like, “Hi.”, “What’s up?”, “Cool.”, and not elaborating any further.
2. Don’t chase him — Show him you respect yourself.
The biggest error you could make when trying to win someone over is letting them know they have the higher ground.
Men usually like a challenge and get bored when not presented with one.
- Refrain from responding to his texts promptly every time, especially after he delays his; similarly, don’t always tell him “yes” whenever he asks something of you as he might get too comfortable, too early on.
You might want to show him that you too are busy and won’t drop your prior engagements to go running to him; prioritize yourself so that you attract the right partners.
This ought to catch the attention of pretty much any guy, especially someone who appreciates independence.
But do not overdo it and take a whole week to reply back even though he’s trying his darndest to get closer to you—serious men with serious intentions hate this.
Plus you’d be making him think you’re not interested.
3. Show kindness to everyone.
Before you roll your eyes, please just hear me out! Kindness IS attractive and it never goes unnoticed by the right people.
A fellow kind-hearted man will appreciate having an empath by his side in a world filled with inconsiderate people—if this sounds like your man, this is the approach for you.
- Be supportive, make him feel better through subtle compliments, listen to him when he’s stressed, and do not bash other people in his presence.
But, hey. Kindness is a universally sought-after trait so I am positive it will make all kinds of people attracted to you.
4. Ooze confidence and security.
More often than not, men are going to tell you they love confident women who aren’t afraid to speak their truth.
This isn’t the case with narcissists, however, or other toxic people who are looking for a partner who will enable their behavior—don’t let this happen.
- Abstain from insulting yourself, double-guessing, or comparing yourself to other women who might have his attention.
Real talk, people find it hard to like someone who doesn’t like themselves; confident people make them feel secure and stable.
If he likes confident women, then he most likely wouldn’t mind if you were to make the first move either.
5. Let him know there’s more to you than meets the eye.
9 times out of 10, goal-driven men will be looking for an ambitious woman who knows what her goals are and is working towards achieving them.
Superficial conversations such as asking him how his day went are okay, but you need to go deeper than that if you want to leave a good impression on this kind of man.
- Don’t be shy to talk about yourself on a deeper level: your likes/dislikes, achievements, and professional goals.
In other words, let his deeper self connect with YOUR deeper self!
There’s a group of people who need more stimulus to be interested in someone, and surface-level relationships just aren’t going to cut it.
It’s going to be trickier if you two aren’t close, so wait until you have a more established connection.
6. Don’t forget to be consistent.
The key to winning a serious, empathetic man’s heart is not playing any games with him just to make him insecure.
Some appreciate the chase game, whereas some want a comfortable relationship with their partner.
If the guy you’re talking with is a bit on the timid side, give him just that!
- If you want to have a conversation with him, then don’t be shy to reply too quickly. You will want to call regularly and give regular updates.
And don’t worry about sounding too interested—men of this nature are looking for emotional security and maturity.
7. Is he flirty? Flirt back.
This one is for the girls dealing with a playful man who can’t help themselves from love-bombing…give him a taste of his own medicine!
A kind reminder that flirting does not have to do with compliments only—although a kind compliment would make a flirty guy giggle and blush.
- Yes, complimenting is one way, but there are other ways to flirt. You can tease him if you know he’ll be comfortable, for example.
Flirting with an equally playful man shows him that you can be lighthearted when the situation calls for it, something many people gravitate towards.
8. Make him think you two are compatible.
Something that everyone is looking for in a partner is compatibility—someone with the same tastes, opinions, and values.
I am sure that it’s no different with your man.
- Find out what he likes (bands, movies, food, etc.) and reveal to him that you like the same things too.
But agree with him only to a certain extent so as he doesn’t get bored easily. You don’t want him to think you’re intentionally employing his personality as your own.
The role body language, self-care, and personality play in wooing a man.
There are 3 key points you need to focus on: body language, self-care, and personality.
- Body language.
Body language can make or break your relationship with a man, surprisingly so.
You want it to be confident, in the sense that you do not purposely try to make yourself appear smaller or anxious.
Smile, wave at him, and get physically close whenever given the chance.
- Looking your best.
Men and women alike are attracted to people who take care of themselves and understand how important the physical aspect of it all is.
So whenever you and this guy meet up, dress up in your best outfits, pick a cute hairstyle, and look your best.
P.S. Don’t forget a sweet-smelling perfume!
- Personality.
Perhaps the most important out of the 3 (depending on who you ask, of course), personality is what will keep him interested.
I already went into details regarding this—learn about his character and try to match his vibes accordingly.
Just make sure you don’t lose what makes you authentic. In the end, you don’t want somebody having feelings for a false version of you.
To want is not necessarily to “love”.
To want someone and to love someone are two different things!
“Want” is often seen as a superficial, physical attraction: if someone wants you, they’re possessive and want you all for themselves.
“Love” is something long-term that makes you feel uncomfortable: if you and someone love one another, you are comfortable and secure enough to know there’s no chance of getting hurt.
Taking this into account, if your goal is to get this guy to fall in love with you, know that it’s going to be significantly harder.
Love,
Callisto.
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