The good news is, a player can fall in love. The bad news?
Well, the bad news is that the process can take too much time and you’ll never know if it could work with him or not.
The other good news is that you can make a player chase you, and fall in love before or after sleeping with him.
Although it’s a dangerous game to play, you can actually turn the tide in your favor with a player.
So, how do you really make a player fall in love?
Here are 10 realistic steps to make a player fall for you:
1. Understand the games he’s playing and let him know you do.
Being aware of the games he’s playing will give you an advantage in knowing how to manage your reactions.
You must understand how manipulative a player can be. This is not what the movies have taught us to romanticize.
This is real life, and it’s nearly nothing like what you’ve seen in the movies. His behavior can be extremely toxic and manipulative.
It can have tremendously negative effects on your self-esteem, self-perception, and mental health.
So, if you want this person to fall in love with you, you have to know how his brain works.
Understand the games he’s playing and let him know you do so by
- Trying to see him beyond his facade by educating yourself on his issues, insecurities, and what bothers him;
- Calmly call him out on his behavior and let him know you’re aware of where his behavior might come from;
- Know where he’s coming from with a particular behavior and try figuring out what the right way to react and respond is;
This will help you maintain your peace and not fall for tricks or forget yourself in the process.
2. Maintain your high-value standards.
Players aren’t very sensitive when it comes to the people they’re dating or sleeping with. This is why it’s so important to maintain your high-value standards.
You’re entering this ‘game’ with a mission, however, that doesn’t mean lowering your standards and expectations from a connection for the sake of it.
Maintain your high-value standards by
- Setting, respecting, and expecting him to respect your boundaries;
- Not tolerating behavior you don’t normally tolerate with other people;
- Requiring decent and respectful treatment;
- Not putting up with disrespect;
Define your standards and make it clear to him through your behavior, and verbally if needed, that you won’t put up with manipulations or disrespect.
Players like playing, they love a good challenge. However, they’re used to having things go their way.
Someone standing on their ground can shake his world a little, and make him see what he failed to see in other people!
3. Make him feel heard.
Players aren’t soulless. They’ve been hurt, ignored, neglected, or mistreated once. Now they’re avoiding feeling those feelings at any cost.
One of the main fears a player experiences is the fear of having his vulnerabilities used against him by a partner.
You can make a player fall in love with you by resembling a safe space for his chaotic flow of thoughts that lead to his defenses.
Make him feel comfortable and emotionally safe by hearing him as a person. Letting him know that you see through his tough facade.
Make him feel heard by,
- Bothering to listen to what he has to say, and show him you’re there to listen without judgment;
- Not expressing judgemental views on what he says or does;
- Letting him know you understand him;
- Letting him know you’re there for him if he needs someone to talk to;
- Ask him deeper questions about him instead of superficial ones;
- Avoid pressuring him to give you specific information about himself;
This way, you create a safe space for him to confess, talk, and feel comfortable to let his guard down and have genuine conversations, and eventually, fall for you.
4. Define your boundaries and stand by them.
Some do it consciously, some do it subconsciously, however, players tend to cross boundaries, a lot. Unfortunately, they get away with it most of the time.
Someone different, someone who respects her boundaries could either make a player fall in love or retreat entirely.
The minute you let him cross your boundaries, the game is over. He’s won.
You don’t want to be part of the game, hence you want to stand firm by your boundaries and keep them firmly intact by
- Not letting your “Nos” become “Yeses” because it’s convenient to him;
- Not being afraid to express your opinions despite them being contradictory to his opinions;
- Letting him know when he crosses the line;
- Spotting disrespectful and inconsiderate behavior and letting him know where you draw the line;
- Knowing what’s unacceptable to you;
- Not letting him step over your needs, wants, and opinions;
Define your boundaries and stand by them. You’ll teach him to respect you by showing him how you respect yourself.
5. Don’t put your life on hold for him.
Another thing that players like to rely their game on is the tendency of the other to be dependable, insecure, or self-devaluing.
You like him, you’re excited, and you want those feelings reciprocated, but that doesn’t mean he’s worth putting your life on hold for.
A player is likely to not think much of someone who puts their life on hold for him because he’s used to it, he’s used to getting what he wants.
Now if you do the opposite of what he’s used to, it’ll make him scratch his head a little. It’ll grab his attention. And you’ll keep the player interested.
Avoid putting your life on hold for him by
- Putting effort into self-care (looking after your mental health, educating yourself, making time for yourself, going to therapy, etc);
- Avoiding putting him on a pedestal;
- Practicing activities you always did before knowing him;
- Spending time with your family and friends and not canceling plans with them for the sake of spending time with him;
Stick to being yourself, and don’t fall prey to his manipulations and he’ll see you’re not the material he wants to play but the one he wants to love.
6. Don’t pressure him into a relationship.
You get a player to catch feelings by taking it slow, letting the connection flow, and avoiding pressure.
Nagging him about the idea of the relationship can push him away from you. It can easily portray you as a chaser, and he won’t like that.
If it’s been a long time since you’ve been ‘mingling’ and you’re still on different pages regarding commitment, then communicate your needs and make them clear.
However, if you’re in the early stages of dating, you want to take it easy with him.
Asking him for a relationship right off the bat can scare him away and can make him shut down and close the door where he allows the feelings to kick in.
So, take it easy by
- Meeting up with him, getting to know him better;
- Taking it easy when it comes to sex. You can let him try a bit harder to get under your sheets;
- Not nagging him about how much you want him to be your boyfriend;
- Let it flow and see where things are going without forgetting your intentions and needs;
Keep in mind, pressuring him will push him away. So take it nice and slow, just like he will when he starts falling for you!
7. Show him he can trust you.
Players have a hard time trusting people and showing him he can trust you will make you stand out from other people he could be seeing.
Showing him you’re a safe space, can make him see something special in you, and slowly it can make him fall for you as it’ll convince him to open the door to his heart.
Making yourself a person he can trust will automatically differentiate you from other people he’s dating or sleeping with.
You’ll be unique to him.
Show him he can trust you by
- Being honest with him;
- Following your words with actions;
- Showing him sincerity in what you say and do;
- Letting him know you don’t mean any harm to him;
- Not using his vulnerabilities against him;
- Keeping your promises;
- Respect his boundaries;
Your strong personality and character will stand out, and it’ll make him see that you’re someone he can trust with his heart.
That’s what a player longs for. Once his fear is gone, the world gets full of opportunities, and nothing will be impossible.
8. Stay confident.
You might like this guy, you might see him as the one for you, but keep in mind that you can’t make him fall for you by altering yourself.
Let your confidence shine through, and let him see it.
Confidence is a product of self-love and self-care. You’re assertive, and you know your worth. He’ll want you.
He’ll want you because his games work on insecure people. That, however, doesn’t justify his wrongful actions.
What’ll make a player fall in love is someone who shows him how much she loves herself with confidence.
You’re not clingy, and you’re absolutely ok if he leaves your life because you don’t need him in the first place.
Confidence is one of the most attractive traits a person could assess.
Let your confidence shine through by
- Knowing your worth and not settling for less;
- Practicing self-care;
- Letting him know you’re an independent person;
- Expressing your thoughts unfiltered even if they don’t match his thoughts;
- Not acting clingy or needy for his presence;
The light of your confidence can have the power to open his eyes and see the amazing person you are and represent so proudly.
9. Have quality time together.
Spending good, and quality time together can make a player fall in love with you so hard that he forgets where his head is!
Spending time with another person is known to help you establish an emotional connection and create a strong bond between you two.
The more time you spend together, the more likely you are to connect on a deeper level and fall in love with what you see in one another.
Having quality time together means
- Having deep and meaningful conversations that reveal more about each other;
- Participating in fun activities and experiences with one another;
- Not distracting yourself with phones or ‘individualistic’ activities when you’re around each other;
- Making the time you’re together fun and worthy of your efforts;
By making the time you spend together qualitative you make yourself unforgettable in his views.
You start holding a special place in his heart, and he starts wanting more the more he gets to know your awesome personality!
10. Make him want more.
To make a player fall for you, you’ve got to make yourself and the time he spends with you unforgettable.
In other words, you want to make him want more of what you’re giving. You want to keep it enticing and interesting!
Keep a player interested by
- Sharing fun experiences, activities, and opinions together;
- Cracking jokes and laughing together;
- Not oversharing about yourself;
- Making him feel comfortable sharing things with you;
- Knowing when to say bye and end a conversation with him;
- Giving the best you’ve got but not clinging to him;
Give him the best you’ve got, but just enough for him to want more of what you’re giving!
Realistically speaking, can you make a player fall in love? Is it worth trying?
When it comes to making a player fall in love, you can and you can’t.
A player can fall in love with anyone, but it entirely depends on his personality, his background, and the root of his behavior.
The tricky part of this whole thing is ‘making’. In other words, you’re not letting things exactly flow, instead you’re trying to force them in your favor.
That being said, you can try to make a player fall in love, no problem, but is it worth it?
Here’s my take on it!
Trying to make a player fall in love is not worth it. He’s not exactly the right material to build a foundation for a relationship with.
He needs therapy and a lot of work on himself. He needs healing for things to take a healthy shift.
By the end of the process, you might even not manage to make him fall for you.
He is an independent individual, and if you try imposing a thought, action, or behavior on him, he might as well do it.
But the problem is, you’ll have to continuously impose that thought, action, or behavior for it to last.
You could end up wasting your time, risk getting trapped in a toxic relationship, getting hurt, or playing a game that imposes unhealthy tricks on you.
You’re deserving of someone who knows the healthy way, someone who knows how to treat you right and give you the respect you deserve.
The decision is yours.