At some point in relationships, both me and you have wondered: Should I keep him interested? Is it important to keep him interested? Well, of course, it is. Relationships are all about maintenance.
Before knowing and practicing the secret of How to keep him interested, you need to be familiar with this to know how to make him like you and keep him interested.
Your guy is a man, he likes to have a goal and achieve it; which means he is labeled immediately as a Goal-Oriented Human Being. The moment he wins you, he activates his chilling mode.
“Okay, then how do I keep him wanting more?”
There are a lot of things you do, and that you don’t do (but are about to learn) that do, in fact, keep him wanting more.
Whether you slept with him, or not, we’ll be learning how to keep a guy interested. Before we do that though, we should consider a few things first:
- Get to know him, what interests him and what pushes him away;
- See if you’re a good fit together;
- Don’t present yourself as some other person;
- Keep your standards and boundaries.
10 clever techniques to keep a guy interested in you:
1. Start with self-love and self-appreciation: Be confident
Everything starts at home. So, start with self-love and self-appreciation. Be confident, do things on your own, have and share opinions.
– Once you have the self-love mindset set straight you’ll be achieving a balance: you’ll be open and happy to get help, love, attention from him, but you won’t expect all of it done by him only.
You’ll be content with yourself, you’ll be joyous within. But it’ll be one of the features of you that’ll keep him interested in you. You’ll be a welcoming environment, a pretty and confident feeling.
Once you’ve got self-love, you’re entirely yourself, and you’re ready for more love from him too…
2. Throw away the ‘he’s too good for me’ mindset
When you have a ‘he’s too good for me’ mindset, then chances that you’ll ditch plans with friends and other important stuff in your life for him are higher.
He knows that you will be at his door as soon as he calls. He has got nothing to lose, And yourself, it is usually why he starts to take you for granted.
– You’re deserving of a good, decent man. See if he’s a good fit for you; if he’s a good man, see if he’s got the qualities you value the most in a person, see if he meets those ‘requirements’ to get your interest too.
Dropping the ‘I need to impress him more, I need to keep him’ mindset will leave room for self-growth, setting your priorities, and for his curiosity to kick in. It’ll keep him interested. No chasing from either side.
3. Bring value to the relationship: Be a source of positivity; be good to him
Having a clear and healthy mindset is a great characteristic when in a relationship or when beginning to start one.
– Once you are positive about yourself you will reflect goodness to your partner or date. Who wouldn’t like to be around someone who is all positive, joyful, and supportive? Now, I am not talking about exaggerating positivity and living a false life.
– Let all these traits flow in a natural form, do not force it, yet also find a balance in giving and receiving:
- Honesty and constructive criticism (always, when necessary);
- Support and care;
- The vulnerability which creates a bond between you by accepting flaws and mistakes;
Once you are good with yourself you portray that to him, which makes him want to know more about you and be around you.
4. Try new things: Explore things together
Here we come to adding a new flavor into that relationship or dating phase of yours.
– You can start trying out new little things, bringing excitement to the relationship in new forms. For example, you text ‘good morning’ every day; well, today you may text him something different, like: ‘Has my pretty arctic bear woken up yet?’
The main point is not to let things get dry and boring; It gets monotonous sometimes, once you notice it, find a way to do something about it. Suggest new activities, new ideas…
You can try out:
- Playing his favorite video game or sport and challenging him;
- Do any activity or attend a course together, challenge him to take a dance/yoga/jiu-jitsu. Why not?
- Book a trip, or go hiking;
- If it’s been Starbucks every time, then it could be Dunkin Donuts the next. Be the one to take this initiative; You can send him something like: ‘Meet me at Dunkin Donuts in an hour.’
You can do something even crazier, rent an RV and take a three-day trip to most picturesque places. It’s up to you! Get creative!
5. No mind tricks: Avoid playing games
I’ve said it before, and I can’t say it enough: games will only get you games, they’ll never get you real.
– If he’s the right person you’re dating, or the one, he’ll stick around because of your genuinity, sincerity, and honesty. If real is what you’re looking for, then avoid playing games at any cost.
You keep him interested with care, and pureness. Once you set that for yourself, you’ll attract exactly that: pureness.
6. Master the subtle art of communication: verbal and non-verbal language
We’re all communicating and expressing and giving signals to one another. If you want to keep him interested we’ve got to learn ways to healthy communication: being expressive.
– Express yourself, communicate your affection to him. The way you communicate with each other does not include only words.
We communicate through smell, through body language, eye contact, presence, a slam of a door, or just a light touch of the hand…
If you have never touched his shoulder or hand slowly and gently, or if you’ve never kissed him first, abruptly, but you want to do these, even if as a way of flirting, then do it.
– Keep the conversations interesting too: Use your words, your intellect, your sense of humor, your curiosity. Don’t restrain yourself from expressing yourself. Of course, keep in mind the balance of reciprocation, and the vibe (if both of you are on the same frequency).
Ask him questions, flirt, add fun to the conversation. It arouses his curiosity, it keeps him interested. It might even keep him awake at night!
You can do this through texting too! Example: Tease him by letting him know to be available tomorrow morning somewhere around 10 a.m because you’ve got a surprise. Tomorrow at that time send him your location. Find a nice place and have a picnic.
7. Give him a sense of support: Be a place of comfort
A lot of us get distracted by the ‘good face, good hair, good looks’ maintenance. It’s understandable, as that’s what attracts us and men to one another at the initial stages. However, after the initial stages, it’s something else that keeps that attraction.
– What intrigues him as a guy, is your ability to connect with him on an emotional level too. It’s the sense of support, finding a place of comfort in a person.
Appearance is also important in a relationship but after some time he will be interested in something more than just a ‘pretty face’.
If your relationship is going so far so good, and you feel comfortable with him, what I recommend you do is upgrade your emotional connection. Shift your relationship to a different dimension.
– What to say to him to keep him interested; To keep that emotional connection building?
- Say the good words when you feel like saying them; compliment him on his achievements;
- Tell him you’re there for him, you’re supportive of him and his dreams/passions;
- Have conversations on any topic that will be interesting and fun for both of you;
- Express vulnerabilities, create a safe space in which being vulnerable and sensitive it’s okay, it’s safe.
8. Give him space and be close to him in a rhythm
Men usually pull back when their space gets invaded; they’re terrified of losing their sense of freedom. If you don’t let him room to breathe then that will push him away. It’ll contribute to the ‘interest-losing’ part.
– Respect your spaces: Give and get space when needed. You’re two separate individuals, you have lives and passions. Be close to him in a rhythm.
– It’s good to step back from time to time: to allow you to miss each other. Be happy when he’s spending time with friends, or just spending time away from you; it means he has a life, he’s independent, he’s got interesting things going on.
9. A way of self-respect: Let him know of your standards
It is better to have your standards set because once you have them it is easier to keep him interested.
– If you’re not into something particular, let him know. Don’t do it for the sake of not pushing him away. Find a gentle way to communicate it to him. That way you show him you’ve got self-respect.
Self-respect stands for you being yourself and having a clear vision of your life, and that… that is healthy, sexy, attractive. It’ll not only serve you well, but it’ll also keep him interested too.
– Don’t lower your bar, respect your standards and boundaries. You won’t lose him, not if he’s the right one. On the contrary, you’ll have him more interested in you.
For example, you went out on the first date and he’s inviting you to his apartment; This is not something you feel comfortable doing, so you tell him:
Thank you for inviting me, there is a part of me that wants to come in, but it is not in my style to move this quickly in this direction.
You will communicate and keep your standards, yet he won’t create the idea that you do not like him; If he’s the right one for you he’ll respect your decision and wait whenever you are ready to take that step!
He will keep his interest in you because he respects what and who you present so authentically…
10. Reciprocation: Show him that you are interested in him too
A relationship or dating, in general, is like a game for two. That is why you should also make your date or partner know that you are interested in them too.
Reciprocation is the key, because as soon as he notices that he is the only one showing interest and not being appreciated, slowly he will start losing interest. Even if he’s got strong feelings for you.
– You may show that you are interested in him in different forms: your body language, flirting with him, telling him jokes, appreciating him, being interested in his activities, being there for him, etc.
You’ll instinctively find the right moment to do it. Reciprocate, show him you’re interested too.
Should I blame myself that he lost interest in me?
Absolutely not! Instead, reflect on what you did and how you treated yourself those days.
At this point, it’s normal to blame yourself for not succeeding in the relationship that you wanted. I did that. Not cool at all. I know.
– There are different reasons for his loss of interest. Even if it was something you did, don’t look at it from a ‘blame’ perspective. Instead, see how you can improve in that part. Whatever you do/did is human, is okay.
Just know that there are two people in the relationship, this is like a two-player game; it takes two of you. It’s the actions of both that reflect the continuity of the game!
Blaming yourself prevents you from moving forward in the next relationship or next date. Don’t do it.
It will be easier to move forward while having your thoughts and ideas cleared up.
FAQ- Let’s clear some buzzing over here!
1. Should I keep him interested in me?
Sometimes, yes. You see, each of us needs some boost from time to time. Need a reminder for the things we love and want to keep! Giving him a few reminders now and then is a healthy thing to do.
I am not saying that you should force him to be interested in you, you just have to work on yourself; that itself keeps him engaged and interested.
2. Why do I keep attracting guys that lose interest in me?
Because your focus is more on ‘I need to impress him’ rather than ‘does he meet my requirements’, or ‘is he a good fit for me’, or ‘is he impressing me’.
We attract what we think we deserve, more importantly, we keep up with what we think we deserve. So, you might want to have a look at your standards. What do you see in a guy that attracts you to him? Do you have a type? Who is that ideal man for you?
After you settle this matter, you can reflect and practice what you’ve learned in the next relationship/date.
What I want to say is that first raise your self-esteem, look for guys that have similar interests and goals as you, set your standard, work on yourself.
3. He was so into me, but suddenly he lost interest. How can I get him back?
Don’t try to get him back. That’s the only way he might get back to you. He’s the one to leave, now it’s your time to reflect on the situation.
It shouldn’t be up to him now, he made his decision. It’s time for you to take the lead. Again, don’t try to get him back; Don’t text him; Don’t insist, and don’t play games to get him.
He’s clearly needing space for whatever reason, respect that. Use that space for yourself too. It’s difficult I know, but hold yourself.
If you’re still communicating, try to have an open conversation about it (about where and what went wrong).
If he does not show any more interest and it goes on the right, do not go after him.
4. What can I say to my boyfriend to make him interested?
Let’s do something practical to keep him interested. In order to do it, initiate your conversation and make him feel important.
Since he is your boo, text something that makes him smile and flirt with you, you can use voice messages to trigger his mind and heart too.
Be vulnerable and honest with him, encourage and compliment him.
- Thanks for always having my back;
- You are so good to me;
- I am proud of you;
- Do you know that you make me feel very special?
- I know it sounds like a cliche, but you make me a better person;
Being vulnerable and honest with him, appreciating him does not make you desperate or clingy.
By appreciating him, you make him feel like a protagonist in your life. You show interest in him and that is why he continues to show interest in you too. Some people will.
Be true to yourself and do not change for anyone. Keeping it real and being honest will always keep men attracted and interested in you. Keep your bars high girl.