The virtual world has fallen prey to a lot of changes and dating rules that change as fast as technology does.
Texting is how most of us communicate, but also, whether we like to accept it or not, it reflects a lot of our insecurities.
Things like why isn’t he texting back and how do I get him to do that are fairly common in the dating realm.
If you want to get a man to text you back, be confident, know your values, know your stance, and avoid letting his opinions shape your behavior.
Let’s tackle this together, shall we?
Here are 16 tips you can use to get a guy to text you back:
1. Give him time to respond
Sometimes you can go into panicking mode if he doesn’t answer within two hours or so.
It is unusual for him to not text within 24 hours since it is almost impossible for him to have not checked his phone at some part of the day.
However, if he hasn’t texted you back yet and it has been 24-48 hours, you can send a follow-up text and give him space.
You shouldn’t flood him with too many texts as that might push him further. No one likes pressure.
If you want him to text you back, give him space to respond.
2. Don’t stress over it
Just because you are stressing over it, it doesn’t mean that he will text you back.
He is probably going on about his life and you are stressing over the text that you didn’t receive yet.
So stop waiting for his text, go out and have a good time with yourself, you don’t need him to make you happy.
This isn’t about proving it to him, but just doing what you usually do without having the restraint of the mental stress you have over his text.
You can get a guy to text you back by pulling away a bit and indirectly letting him know that your life doesn’t revolve around him.
Values and morals should be respected, and when you feel that they are put in jeopardy, think about whether that is worth your effort or not.
3. Avoid implementing passive-aggressive intakes
Keeping a consistent behavior will make him text you back much sooner than being passive-aggressive with him.
Let him know that you are mature by not retaliating with the double frequency that he took to respond to you.
To make him text you back you shouldn’t act out of your character and be demanding of his time as that will make you look desperate and clingy.
By the constant change of behavior, being demanding to not being responsive, he might get tired of your “mood swings” and not text you back at all.
Avoid the games and the unhealthy patterns, and keep it genuine!
4. Don’t go all in from the beginning
Be careful what you are offering him from the very beginning.
You shouldn’t be so open to giving him everything and expect the same behavior from him.
Texting in the early stages of dating should be light, fun, flirty, and easy-going.
Not all two people are the same. Oversharing about yourself could set him back and cause him to pull away.
Thus, to get a man or your boyfriend to text you back, avoid
- Being readily available for him all day every day;
- Putting your plans and life on hold just to text him back;
- Being desperate for his attention;
- Doing a texting marathon with him (where you send texts one after the other without letting him room to reply);
- Exaggerating with texts as that will not get him to text you back faster.
Save some things for later.
5. Show interest instead of indifference
If you want to get him to text you back, then you should take a look at your texting style as well.
You can’t really expect him to text you back if you only give him short, 3-word replies.
Indifference leaves him with no information to use to make a conversation with you.
On the other hand, a cold and indifferent response will make you seem uninterested.
Dry texting is the killer of any conversation. If you only text him short statements, he can agree mentally, and not see the need to text you back.
Maintain a balance between what you’re sharing, how you’re sharing it, and the amount of interest you’re showing in him.
6. Integrate questions within your texts
To make a guy text you back, you need to integrate questions in your texts to set him up for a response.
If your texts aren’t evocative, you can’t expect him to answer. That is why you should avoid dry statements.
Your texts need to have a purpose, be specific, and somewhat pique his interest to get a text from him back.
Thus, pay attention to when he speaks about his interests and revolve your texts around him to get a reply back from him.
7. Don’t send him “small talk” texts
Small talk is bound to end fast as there is no purpose behind the initiative. It is simply there to fill the awkward social silence.
Therefore, you shouldn’t initiate small talk as that will not make him text you back, and rather he might find it a waste of time.
And one of the main drawbacks of small talk is its over-generalization and short constructed sentences as statements.
If you want to get a text back from a man, you should text him something that is more specific, interesting, and something that requires him to provide an answer and engage.
No small talk texts as they’re the root of a dying conversation.
8. Send him jokes and flirty texts
Flirting with him is possible and will give him a reason to answer back to your texts and engage with you.
Have a flirtatious, humoristic atmosphere and try keeping things light, sometimes and become serious when the situation calls.
To get a boy to text you back, you should sometimes send him jokes or hilarious memes for a change and show him that you can be fun too.
You can be daring by
- Being a bit of a challenge for him;
- Sending him memes/status/jokes;
- Share funny videos
- Compliment him
- High-key flirty texts
For a man to answer back to your texts, you should be a bit unpredictable and spice up the connection.
9. For once, stop texting him first
Stop texting him first and see what happens.
If you were the first one to always initiate contact then you should take a step back, and leave some room for him to initiate contact.
It might be hard to resist the urge to text him first since that’s something you have been used to, but busy yourself with something else this time!
Check if he will initiate contact when you don’t do it first.
By doing this you are reinstating your values and giving him the chance to put in some effort.
Moreover, you are giving him room to miss you, resulting in your boyfriend – or potential boyfriend at least – texting you back.
The behavior he displays when you stop texting him first, will give you a rough idea of what he thinks about you.
10. Avoid abruptly ending the conversation with no explanations
This setup is best put into motion when you have to end a conversation.
When you end the conversation, leave something behind so that you can discuss it later and add something like “Let’s catch up later, I’ve got to go right now.”
Give it a try. You’ll be surprised how well this works to get him to reply back when you reach out to him later.
This is somewhat of an agreement between you two.
By doing this, you are setting up a conversation for the future that seems both of you were enjoying, and also keeping him excited that when you text him, he’ll text you back.
11. Ask him for advice/recommendations
A man is likely to text you back if you ask his advice on something or ask him for any kind of recommendations.
A man loves the idea that he can fix something for you, is needed, and also that his opinion matters to you.
In this regard, you will get a reply from him because your texts require a specific answer directed to him, and that will make him feel important.
12. Don’t pressure him into replying to you
It is a mistake and rude to consistently flood him with text messages that are burdening him to answer your texts.
He will definitely not like the pressure you are putting on him, thus refusing to answer your texts in your accord.
If you want to get your boyfriend to text you back, your behavior shouldn’t be classified as needy and desperate.
Don’t give him the impression that he needs to stay in contact 24/7 as that is an impossible reality.
He might have other things that occupy his life, and won’t have time to text you back every time you want him two.
So if you want to get a boy to text you back, you should not text him aimlessly and relentlessly.
13. Don’t send him long texts
Avoid sending a long text message at one go, as that might be a bit intimidating and overwhelming, making him hesitant to text you back.
To make a guy text you back, keep your texts relevant to the topic at hand, and only share what is essential to the conversation.
Construct your messages into separate units of sentences, but also don’t do a construction per word, that might be annoying.
Keep your sentences at a reasonable length, tight, and free of any grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes as much as you can.
Avoid sending him texts that only include emojis or abbreviations, as that tells him that you are too lazy to talk to him and might be one of the reasons he won’t text you back.
14. Less is more
Try remaining a bit of a mystery as that is something that will make him want to text you back and discover more about you.
Let him be curious about you and don’t overshare the minute you establish a comfortable space for you to talk.
That will keep him on the edge and will urge him to text you back.
Avoid sending him daily updates as there is not always something interesting to share, and it is a pointless conversation that will end very quickly.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you should know when the appropriate time to end the conversation is.
You shouldn’t let it drag for a long time as that might contribute to your boyfriend not texting you back since it takes a lot of effort and it can be tiring to keep a conversation going for too long.
15. Men are all about action, no friendly banter
Women and men have different perceptions of what makes a good conversation and its productivity.
While as a female, you do enjoy small talk here and there, a bit of pulling and pushing, followed by banter.
This back-and-forth exchange might be cute and flirty, but also the possibility of him not responding to these texts is high.
Because men are more active and goal-oriented.
If texting doesn’t require something from him and isn’t about making arrangements to meet up, he might feel like that banter is pointless and not texting you back.
Therefore if you want to get your boyfriend to text you back, you need to avoid the banter and create texts that will make him engage in a conversation.
16. Read the room before you send him something
You should meet him where he is at. You shouldn’t be putting more effort than he is, this is a common mistake that you might be making.
To get a man to text you back, you should let him put in some work too and you shouldn’t be the one to always put in the effort.
When you have established a common ground, he will know that he needs to text you back to keep in touch.
How do I deal with the insecurities of him not texting me back?
Your confidence might be running on low fuel and your insecurities might be taking the best of you.
His not texting you back might have hit you much more than you thought.
It is hard to deal with and sort your emotions when someone you like doesn’t appreciate you the same way you appreciate him.
You shouldn’t give up and let unhealthy thoughts make decisions for you.
Here’s how you can deal with the insecurities that come along with his lack of response:
– Don’t fall prey to the thinking about strategies to get him back as that isn’t healthy for you and even if proven successful, you might fall into a toxic relationship.
Think about yourself and what it means to you that your values weren’t met and if you get back together, is that something you can live with?
You need to try to put yourself first and take care of your health.
– Do something meaningful to you right now instead of sitting around waiting for his text while feeling bad about yourself.
Be the you that you were before meeting him and try to reignite that spark within yourself as that will help you handle and overcome the insecurities.
Things that you might have left halfway done because of him now’s the time to get back at them.
Revisit your passions to remind you of the amazing woman you are.
– Try doing something that will make you fulfilled and occupy your mind with other thoughts other than him.
If you do something that you love and are good at, it will immediately light your mood up and remind you there are things you can still enjoy on your own.
Relive your best times and create some new ones and let your insecurities be fought with the positivity and power you get from the things you love.
– Don’t let your insecurities go unaddressed. The more you avoid them the bigger they will get and hinder your happiness and confidence.
If you’re feeling down because of the lack of communication from a loved one, it is a natural response of your body and mind to the situation.
However, if you tend to see this being a chronic pattern in your dating life, then you’ve got to take measures on it.
– Detach with compassion and know that perhaps breaking things off with him is the best solution.
You shouldn’t be angry at him or yourself for not making things work. Some things are meant to be short-lived and they teach us a lot about love and life.
It will be hard to show compassion when ending a relationship but just think of it as another chance that taught you something valuable.