Everybody likes getting chased by the man they love, but what % of them are truly doing something to make it happen?
Yes, loving someone makes a man more inclined to chase them, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing we can do about it—quite the opposite, actually!
Getting him addicted is possible if you play your cards right.
Cracking the code: What makes a man want to chase a woman?
Men can deny it all they want, but there’s one specific type of woman that makes them go crazy: someone who makes them feel good.
The cards I was talking about are:
Confidence. No surprise here: men love a woman with a healthy level of confidence, someone who knows her worth and doesn’t rely on external validation.
The SPSP proves confidence is key to being perceived as attractive in one of their studies as many people lean towards confident mates.
Competition. There’s nothing quite as intoxicating as the thrill of wooing someone many people actively pursue; it’s in men’s nature to want to win a sought-after woman over.
Unavailability. People are naturally drawn to things and people they can’t easily get because it makes having them all the sweeter.
Aka men don’t feel as if an overly-available woman is worth chasing.
Excitement and playfulness. You can never go wrong with showing a guy a great time and having a playful demeanor now and then.
The truth is that guys (like everybody else) like feeling good and are drawn to exciting people.
Now I’ll be sharing with you the secrets of making a man chase you based on these principles!
1. Stop aggressively pursuing him.
Reverse psychology speaking here! To make him crazy about you, don’t be crazy about him.
I’m not telling you to insult him, lose his number, or straight-up tell him you don’t like him or anything of the sort; simply tone things down.
Do not double-text him all panic-y whenever he doesn’t respond and go easy with the “I love yous” or all forms of affection, for that matter.
If you and he aren’t officially dating, then acting as if you are will make him pull away and lose interest in pursuing you.
Do not beg for a relationship, in other words.
2. Show him your time is valuable by spending less time with him.
Delay your replies a little bit and don’t agree to hang out with him all the time so that he knows you’re a busy woman.
Always being there for him makes him appreciate your time together less and get used to you—sometimes you have to make him miss you.
Remember what Emily Gilmore said…”We do not go running out the door when a boy honks. This is not a drive-thru. She’s not fried chicken!”
3. Occasional flirting goes a long way.
As I said, there’s no need to tell him you dislike him or make him feel as if his chasing you is futile, so my advice? Flirt with him here and there.
Give honest, heartfelt compliments whenever he deserves them; alternatively, playfully teasing him will also have a positive effect.
Everybody needs a bit of lightheartedness at the end of a tiresome, busy day, and they’ll be drawn to people who give them just that.
4. However, do not overdo it with affection.
Occasional flirting is acceptable, however, what’s not acceptable is showing him you’re absolutely addicted to him—especially if your relationship is blurry.
Don’t tell him you’d do anything for him and that you love him to the moon and back; no matter how drop-dead gorgeous that boy is, he doesn’t want to hear it all the time.
Try to balance things out in this area, but NEVER overdo it.
5. Disagree with him when the time calls for it.
When you think about it, what’s the fun in a person who always agrees with you? Do not be a “yes man”.
It’s okay to have different opinions and not be afraid to show them. Arguments will make things more stimulating and improve your chemistry.
You don’t want him to think of you as a pushover, and if anything, this charming back-and-forth will excite him.
6. Confidence is attractive, so be confident!
Multiple studies point to attractiveness being a pretty desirable trait, so use it to your advantage.
Don’t talk down on yourself (your looks, character, ambitions, etc.) so as to show the guy you’re talking to you know your worth.
There’s nothing more magnetic and dangerous than a secure person who doesn’t need others to feel fulfilled, and your guy knows this.
Just don’t overdo it as you might come off as arrogant and annoy him.
7. Subtly let him know other men are interested.
I’m using the word “subtly” because obvious attempts to make someone jealous are universally thought to be quite unattractive.
For example, you can let your guy know you spent the day with a male friend and had a blast! This will make him feel threatened and realize you’re not entirely his.
Sadly, jealousy works, so setting his competitive side free is one of the most effective ways to make a man chase you.
8. Make him feel needed, but not too needed.
This is where the hypothesis about independence being chase-worthy comes to a halt: being a bit too independent makes a man lose interest.
Men get a kick out of being needed by a woman as it triggers their “hero instinct”—the feeling of being needed that activates their desire to protect her.
You can make him feel this way by asking for his opinion about something he’s knowledgeable about or seeking his help to fix something for you.
9. Don’t reveal everything all at once.
Keep him guessing about the mystery that is you; this will intrigue him, make him want more, and chase you in order to get his answers.
Don’t reveal everything that is to know about you and your life because it will eventually make him lose interest and want to seek excitement elsewhere.
Existing and potential relationships are supposed to burn slowly for both people to feel the heat, after all!
10. Show him how exciting of a person you are.
Adrenaline-induced experiences stick to memory more easily than normal ones and serve to bring two people closer; the truth is that most seek a thrill.
Why not spice things up a bit whenever you and your guy go out together or are having a conversation?
This is why it’s usually recommended to pick amusement parks for dates! You may also see an action-packed movie together, or have interesting and stimulating conversations he is sure to enjoy.
11. Take an interest in his hobbies.
Is he the type to take his interests very seriously? If so, I suggest you indulge in some of his hobbies as well so that you two have something in common.
Many are attracted to people who can keep up and relate to them, not to mention doing this will let you and him spend more time together.
He’ll view you as someone he absolutely must have—one word of advice, though:
He might get bored if you copy his whole personality, or even worse, uncomfortable.
12. Don’t push self-care to the side.
I think we can all agree that a person who takes care of themselves is attractive, not necessarily because of their appearance, but because of their mindset.
Always put yourself first and take the initiative to improve any areas of your lifestyle if there’s a need for it.
Is there a health goal you set for yourself? Say, to go on walks more or write in a journal? Well, this is the perfect time to execute it!
13. Don’t make it seem as if he’s the sole source of your happiness.
Two possible explanations for this.
He might not enjoy the pressure of having another person’s mood depend on them or doesn’t want to pursue someone who doesn’t pose a challenge.
Either way, avoid putting him on a pedestal or mentioning how much impact he has on your happiness.
14. Reveal your goals and ambitions.
You mean business when it comes to life and you need to show him that.
People are drawn to other people with depth, so talk about your ambitions in life; strengthen your bond by learning more about him while you’re at it.
He needs to know you are a go-getter and in no way have time for tomfoolery.
15. Don’t give him the girlfriend treatment if you’re not dating.
He can’t expect getting the girlfriend treatment without actually dating you—if he wants the best of both worlds, he’s asking for too much.
Do not go above and beyond to satisfy him if he does not do the same thing for you as you’d be making him think he’s won you over and there’s no need to chase you anymore.
Don’t let him set boundaries as well as feel entitled to your time, feelings, and attention, or act how a boyfriend would.
This is in no way cute—he wants to receive loyalty but not give it.
16. Learn to live without him.
Change starts from within! If this man does not show any interest whatsoever in pursuing you, then take a little break from him to focus on yourself.
Focus on your well-being, keep your life on track, and who knows? Find someone who’s a better match for you.
This is done by slowly reducing his involvement in your life or cutting contact abruptly.
It’s a win-win situation: you move on from him or make him realize he doesn’t want to lose you.
Does ignoring him *actually* make him chase you? This is how you do it!
Spoiler alert (or not), but less is more when it comes to getting a person to chase you.
Generally, a man doesn’t enjoy being on the receiving end of the chase as he finds the trials and errors of winning someone’s affection compelling.
When you ignore him, he’ll automatically think you lead an exciting life, are giving someone else attention, or are not interested—all will drive him crazy.
Do not give in!
You may be tempted to text him back or ring his phone and trust me, none of us are strangers to this temptation.
You must completely resist double-texting as well if you want him to chase you; if he repeatedly turns down your date invitations but finally asks you out, I recommend taking a step back.
You might want to jump at the opportunity, but as I mentioned above, a balanced amount of unavailability does wonders.
Have fun on your own (and post about it).
Go out with your friends, loved ones, or another guy and have some much-needed fun. Just don’t forget to post pictures on your social media for him to see.
Let him know he’s not your primary source of entertainment and that you don’t have the time to cater to him as he pleases.
Disable your phone notifications.
Turning off all notifications is one of my go-to’s when it comes to keeping me away from texting someone I really shouldn’t.
It comes down to not keeping tabs on your phone and not knowing if that certain someone has reached out to you (which, let’s face it, makes us want to go running to them).
Give other men a chance.
He’s not the only man in the world, and you need to let him know.
If you’re comfortable with it and you meet someone you genuinely click with, don’t be too quick to reject their date invitations and conversation attempts.
Having him not be interested isn’t the end of the world!
Always be busy and on the go.
Love makes us want to do nothing but talk to the person we have feelings for, but unfortunately, that’s not the path you want to take.
Don’t keep your goals and people on hold waiting for a text back—keeping busy will also keep you distracted and stop you from appearing desperate.
Go out for fun or advance in your career/field of study so that when he does decide to pursue you, he’ll be starstruck by your productive lifestyle.
Don’t let his decision impact your self-esteem.
No matter what negativity he’s exhibiting, always keep in mind that that’s simply his opinion and shouldn’t be taken at face value.
He might even be trying to get YOU to chase HIM or come off as a cool, nonchalant guy to keep you hooked.
And if not, everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions!
Swap places and have him chase you for a change.
The key to keeping a guy interested is getting him to chase you first, and you can do it with the 16 secrets I shared above.
It’s worth mentioning that not every man is the same, though, and that some of them prefer an honest person who isn’t afraid to reveal their true intentions.
But of course, that’s usually not the case with many people, which leaves us no choice but to set things in motion!
Love,
Callisto.
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