Have you been texting with this guy for a while now? You’re really into him and you know he’s into you as well. But there’s this one problem…
He hasn’t made his move yet.
You really like him and texting him just isn’t cutting it anymore.
You want to hang out, go on a date, and spend time with him, but he’s not quite getting the hint, isn’t he?
Here are 11 genius ways to get a guy to ask you out over text!
1. Ask him what he’ll be doing on his days off.
You: “I have no plans for the weekend, I want to do something.”
Him: “Neither do I! Maybe we could do something together?”
Sounds likely, right?
That’s because you’re bringing the topic to the table, showing him that you’re available and less likely to say no.
You’re giving him an opening and a little push that might just be exactly what he was waiting for!
One thing leads to another, and by asking him what his weekend plans are—or mentioning yours—you’re both more prone to getting that sudden impulsive courage!
Not to mention it sounds way more natural and less forced when you’re already talking about the topic!
2. Talk about how much you like certain places or activities.
When a guy is into you, he will want to make you happy and have fun with you.
If people you like are talking about their interests, and something they really enjoy and want, it’s your natural instinct to want to fulfill that wish for them.
Is there a specific restaurant that you have really been wanting to try?
Is your favorite band finally coming to town and you have to go see them?
Or maybe you have been a bit too busy lately and finally got the chance to go to your favorite amusement park.
Hinting that you really enjoy something will flip a switch in his head and give him a sure idea of what he can do to win those extra points!
It gives him a sense of security in your relationship and confidence. And, he’s likely to take you somewhere he knows you will like!
3. Joke while also challenging him to take you out.
If a man doesn’t have a good sense of humor, personally, it’s a deal-breaker.
Do you and him enjoy going back and forth, messing with each other?
If your relationship is of that nature, and you’re comfortable enough, humor might do the trick!
You: “How come you haven’t taken me out yet? I bet you can’t make me have fun!”
Him: “Oh yeah? We’ll see about that! Meet me at the park in 4 hours!”
If you two like each other and like to joke, this might help take away the anxiety and seriousness of the situation.
At the end of the day, asking someone out it’s a nerve-wracking thing to do.
It shows him you’re a fun and challenging person while removing the stressful part of asking you out.
4. Ask him about his favorite eating establishment.
Ask him where he usually grabs a bite.
Relate to him a little bit, talk about how interesting and fun that sounds, that you think the same way; show him that you’re interested.
Chances are he’ll ask you about your favorite restaurant.
This way you both connect and you indirectly tell him that you wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of going on a date with him.
All this while planning a solid date on the way! Pretty neat, right?
5. Don’t show too much availability.
Let him miss you a bit and wonder what you’re doing, how you are, and who you’re with.
This may sound a bit mean, but men kinda love the chase. When you show them too much availability, they pull away.
Dr. Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, says that neediness and desperation are probably the biggest turn-offs for guys.
So instead what you want to do is be a bit mysterious to get him interested in you.
Let him feel enticed and feel the need to want to know more about you, then he’ll naturally want to spend time with you and ask you out.
Don’t reply too quickly to his texts, especially if he took his sweet time as well.
Don’t bombard him with texts if he hasn’t responded yet, he could be busy or not in the mood, and doing so could annoy him.
Don’t overshare information, try to find a middle ground.
6. Tell him how bored you are.
Now you might want to be careful here, as you may come across as being bored of him.
Let the conversation flow naturally, talk about how you have too much free time today and you don’t feel like staying in.
“I got off school early today and I’ve been home ever since. I’m so bored. I feel like doing something!”
Men tend to like being challenged, and you saying you’re bored might just make him want to make that boredom go away.
He’s likely to see it as an opportunity and might say something along the lines of “Yeah me too, do you want to do something?”
7. Flatter him and say that he’s a fun guy.
Men sometimes hesitate when they’re unsure and their confidence isn’t at its peak; their pride can’t take the possibility of a no as an answer.
Dropping some hints that you’re interested in going out with him will help him feel at ease and more comfortable with asking you out.
Hint that you’re interested in him and would actually enjoy going out with a person like him.
“You’re really fun to be around! You’re probably even more fun in person.”
This is going to give him courage and make him feel appreciated.
8. Kick the shyness away, because it’s time to play: Get playful and flirty.
A survey done by Stanford University shows that, by 2017, 39% of couples met online.
That’s a lot—almost half—considering it’s not the only way people can meet. Do you think these people become couples with absolutely no effort?
Through texting, it’s much harder to figure out how a person is feeling, as well as to communicate how you’re feeling, due to a lack of physicality.
This only makes it much harder to be able to establish a romantic connection, and that’s where a little flirting comes into play!
It shows the other person you’re interested in them and not afraid to show it, hence giving them the thumbs-up to ask you out.
Now, I’m not saying go all in, but it’s definitely something that might make the other person more comfortable with making a move.
9. Tell him when you’re busy and available.
People sometimes get busy or don’t want to bother other busy people.
When talking to people through social media, it can be a bit tricky to keep tabs on them. You can’t always know their schedule.
It’s important to update him on your schedule; tell him your days off, your breaks, or whenever you two might have the chance to see each other.
Your schedules might align and he might take the initiative to ask you out before it’s too late and you both start getting busy again.
Maybe you’ll be in the same area? Maybe you both have the same days off?
Telling him your schedule will make discouraging thoughts like:
“She’s probably busy and doesn’t have the time to go out with me.”
“I wonder when I’ll get to see her, we’re both so busy.”
Knowing when and where to reach you will encourage him to ask you out!
10. Show him that you’re a blast to hang out with.
Talk about the fun weekend you just had with your friends and what you all did!
Don’t leave out the details which make you look like a fun person; they will make him want to experience a night out with you first-hand!
Post pictures on your social media of you and your friends having an absolute blast together.
This will make him wonder if you’re a joy to be around—urging him to ask you out.
Also, try making the text conversation more fun and engaging by using funny lines, and flirting a little, but also not sparing those hilarious memes or videos!
11. Be brave and ask HIM out instead!
If you want something done, just do it yourself! Finally, the DIY in us will have the chance to kick in!
Many of you who are reading this article know this solution, and are probably trying to avoid it at all costs, but I’m going to include it nonetheless!
Men might love the chase, however, they also love it when a woman makes the first move; some like being chased.
It shows confidence and the fact that they don’t care about traditional stereotypes.
About 90% of men say they make the first move, so much so that they’re tired and bored of the same old routine.
Some men might be shy, or deal with self-esteem issues, and making the first move might take the pressure off of them.
Asking him out over text is also less anxiety-inducing!
Should I be concerned if he hasn’t asked me out yet? I’m tired of waiting. Should I just go for it?
Unless he’s just not that into you, there could be many other reasons why he hasn’t made his move yet.
If you know for sure that he likes you as well, there could be many other things preventing him from asking you out on a date.
Since it’s been a while since he didn’t ask you out, there could be a myriad of reasons why. It could be because he
- Is shy;
- Has low self-esteem;
- Doesn’t have the time because he’s got a busy schedule;
- Is unsure of his feelings about you;
- Doesn’t know how you feel about him;
- Isn’t confident enough that you like him back;
- Fears rejection.
Fear of rejection really makes you miss out on some great stuff.
The solution? Just go for it! We don’t live in prehistoric times anymore!
It’s completely acceptable for women to make the first move, the only things stopping us are the stereotypes.
By asking him out first you figure out whether he’s serious about getting to know you but you also cut him some slack by taking the pressure off him.
On the other hand, you release the pressure and figure out whether you’re both on the same page regarding attraction for one another.
That being said, go for it, ask him out, sista!
Closing the curtains…
Getting to know people is hard, especially online.
It’s much harder to leave a strong impression and convey your feelings through texts.
However, texting builds anticipation of meeting a person and makes it all the better.
Some men just aren’t the type to make a move.
Although it may be out of the question for some women to take the initiative, doing so might help you either speed the process up or better understand if a man is interested in you or not.
You’ve got this!