We flirt for various reasons, creating a connection, sex, validation, refreshing the relationship, playfulness, getting something from another person, etc.
Flirting is a passive way of exchanging romantic, playful, or sexual signals with another person. There’s a lot of exchange, tension, and chemistry involved.
We like this guy, but we don’t want this to go downhill by flipping our hair too much, or laughing way more than we’re supposed to at a light joke, right?
Well, flirting with a guy you like can be easy the moment you get the basics! Let’s learn flirting together! Here’s how you flirt with him:
1. First, you shine that confidence!
Research has shown how incredibly attractive a confident person is.
If you want to hit the nail on the head when it comes to flirting, then you’ve got to start with confidence!
The light of confidence it’s very bright, it’s not sharp, it’s smooth and alluring. Embrace the realness, the authenticity of your personality, and let it shine!
- Say the things you say with full security and authenticity.
If you talk out of insecurities your partner will sense it and it can harm the tension and chemistry.
- It’s about the effortlessness, the flow, the enjoyment of flirting. If you’re confident in what you say and look, the sparks will be undeniable!
2. Get the energy right. Let it flow smoothly and unforced.
Embrace your feminine energy, let it be smooth, flowy, cheerful, and sexy. It can’t be that way if it is forced, so take it easy.
Get rid of the pressure or need to impress him, that will kill your confidence or need to let things flow.
- Be in the moment with him and enjoy it.
- Look at and admire him when you’re talking, though we don’t want to get all crazy about it. Be into him, and let the chemistry flow around you.
- Letting go of the ‘I need to impress him’ mindset will free you from the pressure, and you’ll be flowing, smooth, jolly, and confident.
3. Don’t be afraid to look him in the eyes.
Eye contact can entice attraction and chemistry. And it’s not just a myth, this is backed up by research!
We want to hold the gaze a little, though not too much for it to turn creepy.
- Use your eyes to send him a playful invitation to your space, energy, and positive tension.
- Don’t be afraid to look him in the eyes whether he’s in front of you or in a distance.
- Make eye contact, hold it there for a while, and look away. If he likes you, even secretly, he won’t help but look back at you.
Maintain a balance, and get playful by looking at him for a few seconds now and then instead of staring at him or just taking only one glimpse of him.
4. Smile your smile and glow.
Another big part of flirting is smiling. It sets the mood and gets you two connecting more.
When gazing at one another, smile at him. Whether you’re at a distance, or close. Smile now and then.
- A smile is inviting, it’s letting him know that you’re approachable.
- Let your smile be natural, not forced, and not the type that says ‘Hi, I’ll friendzone you.’
- You can go for a mouth-closed smile, or show your teeth a little, why not. You can even mouth the word hi if he’s in the distance between you two.
Smiling at him is gonna get him on his knees!
5. Start the conversation on a playful note.
The positive and playful approach is the signature move of flirting.
Before you go on with your right or left arm slightly up, smiling, saying hi, think of what could happen after the hi. How’d you like the conversation to start?
You want to maintain a positive approach, smiling, and expressing excitement, yet being put together.
- Start with a joke as an icebreaker, or you can drop a challenge to get the fun started.
This helps in creating that banter and playfulness to your approach with one another.
- An old trick is to bump into him ‘accidentally’, and say something that goes like “I’m glad I bumped into you, you’re handsome.”
Or, tell him “How dare you dress this well, it’s no fair game for all these men around!” with a lovely smile on, yet holding yourself nicely.
6. Get playful with your hair.
Use your fine hair, and get the flirting going!
However, we want to do this the right way, since going overboard with hair play can go south.
To flirt with him, you want to play with your hair gently and do it as if you’re doing it mindlessly.
- Flip your hair gently, but avoid overdoing it. Just brush them off your arm.
- Touch your hair and twist them lightly when you talk to him.
Flipping your hair, or gently pushing them back, will show your neck which will draw attention and contribute to the chemistry and positive tension.
Gently, and smooth is what we’re going for when it comes to involving your hair in your flirting game.
7. Ask him fun and interesting questions.
Part of a good flirt is the content of the conversation you have with him.
Ask him fun questions that make him talk more about himself. For example, ask him about his work, his passions, and hobbies.
- Avoid questions that require yes/no answers. Make them enjoyable, so that it leads to a fun conversation.
- You can even add a challenging tone to it “Oh, do you really do that for a living?” with a sense of admiration.
- Make him talk about himself, or topics you’re both interested in. The flirting will go on from there on!
8. Show him you’re a good listener.
Flirting with a guy can be easy and fun as long as you’re a good listener.
You want to listen actively and understand more about him instead of occupying your mind with what your next move is going to be.
Let him talk, and express himself.
- Avoid interrupting him when he’s talking about something.
- To add a bit of spice and fun to it, slowly move your gaze from his eyes to his lips. Add emphasis to ‘slowly’, you want it to be very slow and smooth.
It’ll contribute to your sexual chemistry. He might just run out of words very soon!
9. Pay attention to your body language too.
When it comes to flirting with him without being obvious, at least without words, body language can come in pretty handy.
Of course, our body language is not controlled by us at all times consciously. It’s done subconsciously but it is also perceived so, hence the hunches we get.
- Open body language is inviting, you don’t have things ‘blocking’ your body from his.
- Your arms are not crossed, you mirror his body from time to time, your body is directed towards his, and you’re having a good time!
- If you’re enjoying it, your body will show it too. So don’t worry much about it.
Once you feel comfortable you’ll be smiling naturally, and your body language will be open and inviting naturally.
10. Let your sense of humor contribute to playfulness.
Don’t let the goal of your conversation be attracting him. Let the goal be to have fun while flirting with him! Make him smile!
You’re two people being attracted to one another, you can make it fun and playful!
- You can be kind, thankful, and polite even while being playful, teasing, and not taking things too seriously.
- If you’re funny, and people laugh at your jokes, then hit the play button on those jokes!
- Don’t overdo it and don’t make it all about jokes because the next thing you know you’re calling each other ‘dude’ and ‘pal’, and it’s not going anywhere beyond platonic.
11. Giggle when you get the chance.
If he says something funny, take the opportunity to giggle a bit and charm him with it.
- Giggling will add sweetness to the tension and will make you more desirable in his eyes.
- If you don’t like a joke he made, comment on it instead of forcing yourself to crack a laugh.
- If you giggle instead of staring and laughing historically at the jokes you don’t like, it’ll be a story of success in the world of flirting.
You giggle, you laugh, you smile, when you feel like it. It’s seducing, believe it or not. But the forced ones are far from seducing. We want to avoid those!
12. Take a sexy sip of your drink.
Take a good sexy sip, like it’s holy water, not orange juice or cocktail.
This will make it about your lips, and it might just get him thinking about what you can do with them.
It’ll help build sexual tension and chemistry.
- His attention will be wherever you draw it, so decide where you want to lead him.
- Find a way of seduction that feels natural to you, your way of communicating. You want him to look at your neck, touch your neck or put your hair back so he can see your neck.
- If you want him to look at your lips, take a sip of your drink, or innocently bite/lick your lip.
13. Touch him lightly and see if he’s comfortable with it.
We want to start testing the waters instead of splashing them!
As you may have already heard, touching is yet another important part of flirting.
Firstly, you want to see if touching is okay with him. We want to test the waters first.
- Lean in a little, and see if he pulls back or not. If he pulls back, it means he’s not ready for the touch yet. If he likes you, he’ll be okay with it.
- You want to both be ok with touch before and during it.
- When you get the signal that it’s ok to touch him, you can lightly touch his knee or arm.
- You can also go with “Here, let me get that for you…” and ‘fix’ some invisible thing that needs to be fixed on his shirt, cheek, or hair.
A gentle light touch when he makes you laugh, or when you’re surprised by something he told you, or when you look at him while smiling will do the work!
14. Maintain a bit of mystery and keep him wanting more.
Flirting is about building tension, chemistry, and banter. One of the ways to do that is to maintain a bit of mystery.
Keeping a few things to yourself, having a bit of mystery, yet being playful and open will set your flirting on fire!
- You want to get close, then pull back a little. Get some back-and-forth-ing into the play.
- Try answering questions in a way that makes him want more. A good example of this could be answering a question with a question.
You want to let the conversation flow and add a spice here and there but not give everything you’ve got at the moment you get to say something.
15. Tease him just right.
Your flirting game won’t be complete without teasing.
Teasing him could be a challenge that you present to him, making fun of a bad joke he made, or, hell, making fun of his shoes a little.
You can question something he says very confidently, and let him know you’re purposely teasing him, but not exactly.
However, you want to be careful what you tease him for, and the way you tease him. You don’t want to hit sensitive spots!
- For example, if he’s very good at basketball you can say something like “Oh, I bet I can beat you. You can’t be better than me at basketball!”
- If he makes a lame joke: “Oh finally! A lame joke, for a second I thought you were perfect, thank god you’re not!”
- Say it with a smile, don’t make him feel embarrassed.
16. Give him detailed, specific, genuine compliments.
If you find something about him to be beautiful, go ahead and tell him.
Be specific. Try to compliment on something he has control over, rather than something he was born with.
If he has pretty eyes, he most probably heard it hundreds of times.
Look for more than those. If you like his shirt, tell him. Example: “Do you always dress this well? It’s unfair to the other guys!”
- Find something special about him that not everyone might have noticed. Let your compliments be sincere, and not overdone.
17. Avoid making it all about sex.
Sure, flirting is about sex and sexual tension. However, it can become a bit obnoxious the moment it becomes all about the sex.
I talked earlier about mystery and tension. Of course, it’ll be sexual, it’ll have sexual spices throughout the conversation. But it should be all about sex.
- You’re indirectly presenting the idea of sex, then letting him know that there’s nothing for sure by the end of the night.
- It’s that uncertainty on whether he’s going to get any, or not. About whether you’re easy to get, or not; it’s that tension.
You both enjoy it, it’s a little play, fun, and sexy. Though it’s not all about one or the other.
18. Know when to end the conversation.
Flirting is some sort of a game, an art, and a play. There has to be lingering, and wanting more by the end of it. So, don’t hang around too much.
- Give him a little taste of how sweet, sexy, and funny you can be, and leave.
- It’ll be just enough for you to leave him wondering more about you and to want more of what you gave.
Knowing when to end the conversation will put a cap on your flirting game.
EXTRA! Genius examples of flirting phrases you can use!
It’s all fun and games until you’re face to face with him, and now have to start flirting.
Being flirty with words and during a conversation is just as important as being flirty through a distance. So, what are some flirty things to say to a guy?
According to research and advice from experts, here are some of the best examples of flirting phrases to use when you flirt with a man:
|“That shirt is making it unfair for the rest of the guys in this room/bar/place.”|
“You… You’re funny AND handsome. What’s the catch?”
“You… There’s something about you…”
“I see you’re not just smart, you’re funny too. Thank god you’re from [city] otherwise you’d be perfect!”
“I didn’t expect you to turn out so interesting. Are you sure you’re from England?”
“You’re even more handsome from up close. You’re that one guy in the friend group aren’t you?”
“Tell me something interesting about you… Something that’s going to blow my mind… [let’s say he’s from Las Vegas] save the gambling for later.”
“You proved me wrong on something…” He says what, what is it? You continue: “I thought I’d never see a well-dressed man that’d impress me.”
“I can’t put my finger on it, but you’re different.”
When in doubt, ask an expert!
When you say one of those phrases make sure to gently touch his arm, and tilt your head a little. You will blow his mind, and your flirt will be on fire!
A video guide on flirting:
A solid example of good flirting:
When not to flirt, or when to stop flirting?
Rejection can happen to any of us. And in this case, it can happen to you as well.
It’s normal, and it’s okay. However, if you face rejection, then it’s a sign you need to stop your flirting.
Well, his body language will tell if he likes you or not, besides his body language, he might tell you straightforwardly.
- – If he pulls back when you touch him, don’t touch him. We’re not flirting with this guy, not today.
- – If he doesn’t laugh at anything funny you say, we’re not flirting with this guy either, not today.
- – If he doesn’t respond well to your sexy approach, then he might not be interested in flirting with you, hence we’re not going to flirt with him.
- – If you’re not feeling like flirting and if you don’t enjoy a bit of it, then you must stop flirting. It’ll come off as unnatural, and it will be tiring for both of you.
Flirting is supposed to be fun for both involved – If one of you isn’t feeling it, then it shouldn’t be happening in the first place.
To wrap it all up…
This could either go perfectly fine and smooth, or catastrophically awful.
Go with the flow, and take it easy. Be polite, and pay attention when you’re about to ‘invade’ his personal space by touching him or getting close to him.
Respect his boundaries, and if you sense he’s uncomfortable with something, then let it go.
The secret to a good flirt is to be confident, authentic, playful, and slightly obvious about the fact that you’re attracted to him.
We don’t want to overdo laughter, compliments, or gaze. Keep it light and flowing!