Asking if someone is single might look like an easy task but saying it tactlessly might push him away and make it look awkward.
When you approach him to ask if he’s single, you need to check the setting and have a glimpse at his personality.
Even if he is dating someone, it doesn’t mean that he will immediately give the information out.
So, to ask politely and without making it obvious, here are 10 smooth ways:
1. You can start by leading with assumptions or making suggestions
When I started to go out and date more, I started to touch reality.
At first, I didn’t know how to approach a man as a sophisticated and high-value woman.
- I figured out that I shouldn’t be completely blunt and not make a casual conversation first.
- Because showing immediate interest would empower him and hurt me while facing rejection or facing mixed signals.
- I learned to navigate ambiguity. I started to use my charisma to get his attention and later on, use humor to tease him about his singleness.
If you find it difficult to develop your charisma then try to book a one-on-one session with a relationship coach.
They will make you reflect on what is blocking your feminine energy and showing your personality.
2. You can discuss online dating
If you discuss the impact of online dating then you might get hints if he has someone or if he is trying to date
It’s an indirect way to check what he thinks about dating and relationships in general.
- A man that is currently online dating and single will immediately let you know about his struggles and what he thinks about online dating.
- He might share his experience and let you know what type of dating apps he is using.
You might notice that he’s still on the market and fresh while listening to his experience and what he’s going to do in the future regarding dating.
3. You can use humor and make some compliments
Flirting and making compliments will open the door to the land that you’ve been dreaming of.
It’s true that men just like women like to be complimented and might flirt back just for fun.
But, if his eyes light up when you compliment him and he tries to get the ball rolling he might be single.
Why I emphasized “might be” is because if he is used to flirting he might be married and still go for this show.
Thus to make sure that he’s single when you compliment him, try to see how he reacts and if he’s constantly wanting to get you on alone with him.
If he’s with a group of friends and he’s single, he might introduce you to them.
4. Have a random conversation with him
Approach and talk to him. Always assume that he is single because that will boost your ego and confidence.
You will notice that if he’s single, his body language will let you know.
- His eyes will sparkle when you talk to him;
- He won’t set boundaries;
- He might try to brush off your shoulder or touch you subtly;
Furthermore, you should use open-ended questions that will lead you to a more specific or broader conversation.
5. Check his social media
Most of the time, social media can be a great teller.
Hence, on the other hand, it can also make a fool out of us.
Yet, there are a few things to check on the internet and check and tell if someone is single without asking directly.
- Check his following and the photos and things that he posts;
- You can check who tags him on the story or their posts;
- Check his likes and who he comments or what he comments;
Yet, I wouldn’t recommend completely basing your opinion based on his online profile.
You can try and contact him online and check if he interacts with you or not.
6. Make him trust you
This depends on the person and how able he is to open up and be vulnerable.
But, if you’re warm and start a good conversation then he might open up and a conversation will lead you to another conversation.
- You might ask what he does or what he is studying or where what type of activities make him happy.
- Try to share personal experiences that you feel comfortable telling.
- Show him that you’re interested to know him more and you’re not playing.
Side note: It’s important to make the difference between him not being interested or not showing interest and not being single.
If he is going through personal issues then he might not be able to trust you immediately without working on his past trauma.
7. You might ask him about weekend plans
If you want to ask him indirectly if he is single then you might show interest in his weekend plans.
If you know him and his birthday is coming, you might ask him how he’s going to spend it or with who he is going to celebrate it.
But, make sure to not make it feel like you’re putting pressure on him to tell you.
Instead of asking directly, you can make a funny scenario. You might say to him, “Hey, how would you feel if I would give you this type of gift?”
If he is single then he might start to flirt back and dwell more on the topic!
8. Let him know that you’re available
If you want to know if a man is single without asking, let him know more about you.
I am not suggesting that you should reveal everything about yourself, but you might let him know indirectly about your singleness.
- Let him know what you do during weekends and with who you hang out;
- Use your body language to flirt with him;
The author and Youtuber Sharon Lester says that a man tries to keep his options open but if he’s single, he won’t make your interaction look weird.
If he is vague and doesn’t give you much information about himself or doesn’t try to get to know you then he might not be single or interested.
9. Test him and put him on a trial mode
The most subtle way of asking if someone is single is by putting him on a test.
The test shouldn’t be obvious and you should make it look like a normal conversation.
My advice is to start with a simple compliment on his clothes and ask slightly where he got them or if was it a gift.
You can get a tone of information by going through these questions and as the dating coach Katie Wang stated:
“You should ask him while making a statement and assuming that he’s single and not make it feel like an interrogation.”
10. Ask him out
Sometimes being blunt might help you to get an answer whether it’s positive or negative.
If you ask him to join you for coffee or dinner then you might see how he reacts.
You might also ask for his number and check whether he’ll give it to you or hesitate.
Yet, he might give a positive answer even if he’s not single. If he is a player, he might do it for fun or experience.
Is it okay to ask someone if they’re single?
Yes, it’s okay to ask someone if they are single unless you don’t cross his boundaries.
Keep in mind that this topic is a personal matter and he might not like to talk about it with a stranger.
Sometimes, he might be single but not feel comfortable talking about or maybe he isn’t healed yet and just doesn’t want to interact with anyone.
Thus, unless you are having a casual conversation and making him feel uncomfortable, everything else will fall into place.
~Hence it’s not okay to ask someone if he’s single when he’s with a group of friends and it looks like he’s way close with a girl.
That’s why you should pay attention to these tips:
- 1. Always try to find the right moment to ask that question.
- 2. Don’t ask that questions as soon as you start to talk with one another.
- 3. Try to connect or attract him emotionally first.
- 4. Give him some time to get to know you.
- 5. Lastly, respect his boundaries and don’t try to give multiple hints or ask directly if he’s not interested.
What is the best way to respond when someone says they are single?
The best way to respond when someone says they are single and you’re interested is to show your interest back.
Also, there’s no need to panic or be overwhelmed even though this might be the answer that you wanted to hear.
1. Thus my advice is to stay neutral but still show interest in him.
Make sure to not be overwhelmed or give him mixed signals.
Just show him that you’re interested in his company and you want to get to know him better.
2. Avoid putting all the focus on him because he might be keeping his dating options open.
Keep the balance between your well-being and focusing on him.
I understand that you read him and you want to start dating as soon as possible, but to avoid mistakes you should take it slowly.
Let him show his interest and effort too.
3. Lastly, you can tell him that “I am single too”!
There is no need to play mind games or obligate him to chase you because sometimes this would give the guy an ick.
Try to flirt and say back, “Really, that’s awesome. I guess we’re twinning. I am single too.”
You can add to this sentence any type of element that would show your authenticity.
Be polite & Do not put pressure on him!
The key to asking if someone is single is to be warm and welcoming, to lean to your feminine energy, and not bombard him with questions.
Indeed, it’s nothing wrong if you immediately ask him directly about having someone special or not.
Try to be open, warm, and inviting. Try to use your sense of humor and flirt with him to see if he reacts or stays neutral.
Try to find a balance between being friendly and stating your aim.