In this day and age, it is becoming harder and harder to distinguish what people mean from their actions.
Especially with texting where most things are based on assumptions rather than facts.
He was so into you, then he just stopped.
Since texting is more commonly used, stopping texting is interpreted as a form of disinterest and boredom among other things.
So when a guy is into you and then stops, what does it mean?
You feel like he showed an excessive amount of interest in you and things were going well, but then out of nowhere, he disappears.
Here are 20 reasons why he was into you and then stopped:
1. He has been doing all of the texting
The tiredness of holding all of your conversations and leading them has finally caught up.
He’s tired of always being the initiator of the conversations.
After the time has passed, you are still not giving an inch of interest to initiate contact first.
And he might think that since you won’t take the lead from time to time, it is better to stop before it drags on.
He is waiting for your text to come this time around.
2. You have lost his interest
Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. And it is no use reliving the could have-s.
Even if you felt that your conversations were very productive and both of you were actively engaging to keep contact, it doesn’t mean that he shares the same thought.
There might have been contradictory views that caused his interest in you to come to an end.
He was into you, but then suddenly he lost interest. He might have not seen you two as compatible with one another.
3. He got bored of you
As simple as it can be, boredom is a frequent reason why men tend to stop giving their attention to their partners.
If you don’t entertain the game he is playing with you or you don’t show an excessive amount of interest in him, he will have been left with nothing to play.
That’s because if you don’t keep the relationship interesting, your attitude will change.
And if you play too hard to get, he will be bored from the chase and give up altogether.
4. He has things he needs to deal with
It is true that life can get at people. There are a variety of problems that people face in day-to-day life.
He might be having personal issues that need his immediate attention and doesn’t have time to focus anywhere else.
And this is something that you should understand and be empathetic about.
However, you shouldn’t be lenient if he just disappears without letting you know, this isn’t something that you should hastily agree upon.
Also, school/work might keep him busy, but if he really, really was into you, then he’d make time to send you a text and not suddenly just stop and disappear.
5. You’re playing hard to get
Sure a man likes a good chase, but not something not achievable. It is fine to play hard to get but you need to know when to stop.
Games aren’t healthy after all, if he’s into you, he will pursue you, or at least he’ll try.
If you’re acting aloof and you’re over-self-confident that he will still come over you, you’re wrong. Everybody has their limits and you should know yours.
Thus, check your actions. If you are:
- Acting constantly busy
- Bringing up other guys into the conversation
- Throwing jabs at him
Then you should slow things down a bit. These might be unconscious signs that you are playing hard to get. He’s likely to be tired of it.
6. He found someone he likes better
Interest can be easily swayed from person to person, as long as it’s not invested in emotional attachment.
And he might have just found another love interest.
That’s why he stopped talking to you and might have started communicating with her.
As much as he seemed into you, he stopped because, in reality, he was into someone else.
Sure there is no way to know 100%, however, if he just stopped texting all of a sudden, this might be one of the reasons.
7. He is afraid of commitment
A pretty common reason why he would just stop texting even if he was into you is because of emotional insecurity.
He is afraid to commit and has issues on how to deal with the emotional baggage a relationship brings.
You might still hold his interest, but the fear of commitment is what’s keeping him away. That’s why he will disappear.
Things might be moving too fast for him and he needs time to take things slow and think about you and how he wants to continue with the relationship.
8. He thinks that you don’t like him
A common factor that will stop him from texting, even if he was into you, is when he notices that the interest is not reciprocated.
You haven’t given him any sign that you are interested in him, thus he is left with the impression that you are not into him.
Especially, if your responses are too slow, or you take days to respond to a text.
Thus, take a look at your texting style and if you also are interested in him, brush up on your texting skill. Otherwise, he will stop pursuing you, even if he’s into you.
9. He wants to avoid getting hurt
Men can be insecure about themselves, despite how society describes them as unemotional, strong rocks.
He might have feelings for you, but he can also be afraid of getting hurt, just like you. Especially, if this is something that he has had to face in the past.
A man scared of getting hurt finds it even harder to open up about his past and background, and to be vulnerable with you. As he is giving you an opening that can lead to a fatal attack.
That is why when he just started to be invested in you, he will stop even if he was into you, because of the fear of rejection and of getting hurt in the process.
Unfortunately, you will not have the luck to always meet an honest man with righteous intentions.
There’s a hot and cold game being played to keep you engaged and provide him with what he needs from you.
Sometimes, you will be in contact with a man whose only intentions are to get something from you. There’s is a variety of things he might be looking for from you:
- Financial support.
- Sexual pleasure.
- Emotional support.
- Ego boost.
Such a player will always be in the shadows. He will appear and disappear as he deems necessary.
11. You were ‘too available’ for him
Making time for others is a desirable trait.
However, being desperately available for them might have the opposite effect from what you’re trying to aim for.
He knows that you will be there for him any time he needs. Thus, he will put very little effort to keep the contact going with you.
Being available, honest, and sincere are key factors to keeping a relationship going.
However, when you give him the impression that your world is revolving around him, you might put him off ever so abruptly.
12. He might be still hung up on his ex
There’s also the possibility that he still has feelings for his ex.
Through his actions, he might be trying to make them jealous and get them back, or he might be getting back at them for something his ex did.
Well, if he acted interested and then stopped, then he did you a favor. You deserve better than being a rebound or a toy to achieve his goals.
So if he already achieved his goal, he will be on his merry way and forget to text you again.
13. You didn’t give him enough attention
If he doesn’t receive what he gives, then he will stop giving it at all.
You might be interested in him, and vice versa, but you are not giving him attention.
You’re not making enough time and space to integrate him into your life.
You reschedule dates and you are forgetful of the things he has told you.
He might feel like he’s getting the least of your deal and that you’re not paying much attention to him. Thus, as a solution, he does the same thing, he stops texting you.
14. He senses the friend zone but he isn’t interested in being friends
You might not be looking for anything special and he might be looking for the opposite.
He might have made his advances clear from the very beginning and so did you. And those interests are of opposite kinds.
You are not looking for anything serious but to simply chat and pass around time. In contrast, he’s looking to date and attract someone.
And since this interest isn’t mutual, he will stop texting you even if he was into you since he’s not interested in a friendship but a relationship.
15. He’s taking some time to think things over
Perhaps the connection has progressed quite quickly and he doesn’t know how to act.
Therefore, he will create some space for himself to figure things out.
His feelings might not be clear to him yet, and he doesn’t want to rush into something new with a blurry mind.
He’s weighing the chances if he can handle the results of his decisions.
As he might take longer to process their feelings and figure out his thoughts, you should be patient and also agree with the result, even if it isn’t favorable.
16. You have been acting cold
As much as he might be into you, he will stop pursuing you if you act unsympathetic toward him.
During your exchange, he might feel that you are acting distanced and are not trying to get emotionally connected with him.
This might be unintentional and a personality trait, however, if he’s not aware of it it can cause him to draw away from you.
You might not feel like you were acting cold, but sometimes you can’t see your own actions.
Thus, if you have ever received a comment about you being a bit cold from your friends and family, this might also be one of the reasons.
17. He might be intimidated by you
Sometimes, if a man stops texting you even though he seems interested, it’s because of your domineering side.
And this is not about being controlling, but rather what makes you, well you. It is about your success, achievements, and independence.
He needs to feel useful and needed. And if he can’t be either of those, his ‘worth’ will be doubted.
Because a man’s primal instinct is to protect, provide, and solve problems.
And if you don’t need him to do these things for you, he’ll feel intimidated. It won’t matter how much he’s into you, he will stop texting you.
Start off with an apology. Just because you say sorry first doesn’t make you less strong.
He might have stopped contacting you because something you said/did might have hurt him. And he’s coping with it by not talking to you.
Thus, you need to go back and check your behavior if there was something hurtful said/done.
And if you managed to identify it, shoot him an “I’m sorry” text. It might fix things, you never know.
19. You have been doing the chasing
Men tend to cut off contact with women that show any signs that they are needy and clingy.
It’s alright for you to do a bit of the chasing, it’s not wrong. However, you just need to know when enough is enough and not overdo it.
As much as he enjoys being chased, you need to pinpoint the line where that doesn’t turn into desperation.
Because when that line is crossed, you will scare him off. He might be so into you but he will stop if you don’t keep yourself in check.
20. He doesn’t want to seem pushy
Men overthink their actions just as much as women do.
However, sometimes women show a bit more confidence when it comes to supporting their actions than men do.
Thus, he might really like you but he might be insecure about himself. This is especially if he is a shy person.
He feels like he’s a bother and will stop texting you altogether. Because he might think that with all of this exchange back and forth, his actions will be perceived as pushy.
So he might be so into you but will stop the moment he thinks that his actions might be misinterpreted.
Should I ask him why he stopped talking to me?
As both of you were adults, it is impolite to disappear without letting the other know.
- You have the right to request an explanation, but not demand it.
- You can let things be water under the bridge and not contact him at all.
- Refrain from sending multiple texts just because he didn’t answer.
- Send him one text only and avoid sounding confrontational.
Here are a few examples of what you can text him:
- “Hey, [name]. Haven’t heard from you in a few days. Just wanted to see if you’re doing well. Since I can’t seem to contact you, I was wondering if I said something wrong?”
- “Hi, X. Since I can’t seem to get a hold of you these days, I was wondering if things are going alright?”
He was interested in me! What should I do after he stopped?
Although you know that he was into you but all communication is off, you should acknowledge that you have entered the No Contact Period.
This doesn’t have to be a bad thing if you take a step back and think about it. Don’t try to force things and let them go with the flow.
So if he was into you and stopped, here is what you should do:
1. Don’t be desperate to get him back by calling and texting him nonstop.
You have just entered the no-contact period and these attempts will just be painting and affecting you negatively.
2. Give him space to sort his feelings and make the decision himself.
You can’t make a person figure out their feelings in your time frame. Also, use this time to figure out your feelings and expectations.
Be the best version of yourself and keep making yourself better. Go out with friends and try new things. Talk to your therapist if you feel like doing so. You can be just fine on your own too.
4. If you feel like doing so, text him after no contact and await his answer.
The icebreaking text can’t be a common “Hey. how are you doing?”
No, your text needs to be simple and have a purpose.
“Hey, long time no talk. I’m trying to buy a new car soon, and knowing that you work at a car dealership, would you mind giving me some guidance?”
“Hey! I’m thinking of visiting Florida and knowing that you have spent a lot of time there, would you mind if I picked your brain about some places that I must skip from checking out?”
And if he replies, you can ask him to meet up to discuss the subject matter you wanted more information on.
As the reasons can be numerous as to why he was into you and then stopped, you should also check your interests.
You can make a decision on your own, based on your judgment. Don’t accept less than what you think you are worthy of.