He either likes you, friend-zoned you, or has some messed up intentions – Shown with examples
I was in such a position once, searching and searching for possible reasons he texts me every day… Then I found so many things on the internet that showed me indirect ways to ask him about his intentions. I practiced them at the time, I found them “quite helpful”. Well, now? I find them absurd! I’ll tell you exactly why.
We get so many instructions on how to behave in relationships, that it has become this sort of a pattern already – lots of people doing the same things about one another. Dating/relationship coaches for men and women advise them in certain ways that don’t match with the pragmatic, real world.
We are more complicated than just a “play it cool, they’ll notice”. Each of us is different, and experience/perceive things differently. However, there are general things that can indicate a certain thing.
So, cutting the bullsh*t, if he texts you every day, it most probably means that he likes you. However, it could also mean other things depending on the content of the texts he’s sending you every day.
I’ve noticed a lot of questions and common concerns like: “He texts me every day, does he like me?”, “Why does he text me if he’s not interested?”, “He texts every day but doesn’t say much”.
I’m going to answer those and more. I’ll be going into details about this.
Important Things to Consider Before Jumping to a Conclusion
It matters a lot how you met, how long you have been knowing one another, when, what, and how he texts you. Let’s find it out together!
Is he a friend?
If you’ve known one another for years, and have been good friends, then his intentions are most probably friendly.
I’m not saying that a friend can’t start having feelings for you. However, there are a few things that indicate that he doesn’t have anything more than friendly intentions with you. If he doesn’t flirt with you, if he tells you things about other women in his life, if he asks you about men in your life then he is a good friend.
Is he a potential partner?
If you’ve met recently whether it was through a dating app, through friends, or in person. If he’s relatively new in your life then, he probably likes you and has an interest in you.
There are no rules on how often a guy should text you in the beginning. But usually, men do text a little more at this stage. So, if you’re at the very beginning of knowing one another this is a good sign that he has an interest in getting to know you more.
Even if you’re past the beginning of the ‘learning, knowing more about each other’ phase, it is an extremely good sign. It means he saw what’s in you, and is interested, he cares about the person he now knows.
To be more sure of this, you’ll have to note two things: the time that he texts you, and the content of his texts.
What time of the day does he text you?
If he texts you in the mornings
It means he’s starting the day with you in his mind. Whatever the case is, whatever the relation between you two, he’s thinking of you. This is most of the time a sign he’s interested in you romantically. However, think of the kind of connection you have with him before you come up with a conclusion.
If he texts you at midday
It is an indicator that he likes you, especially if he’s working during that time. It shows he cares when he thinks of you when he’s doing nothing, but it is another level of caring when he’s got all these things going on and you’re part of the important ones he thinks of.
If he texts you at night
His thinking of you after a day (long or short) is usually a good sign. However, this one depends a lot on the content of the texts he sends you during this time. He could only be into sexting if you notice him constantly sending you texts with such content, which is also fine if you’re into that too.
But, but, if you’re not into the whole sexting and don’t feel comfortable about it, tell him. Please do tell him. If he goes away, then it’ll show that this was his only intention and you didn’t fit intention-wise. However, if he has an intention to know you more, and is genuinely interested, he’ll respect your needs, and will consider changing his approach towards you.
If he texts you throughout the entire day
He could either be obsessed with you, or he’s so interested, and he’s so genuinely caring towards you that he doesn’t notice how much he’s texting you.
Your way of responding to his texts has a huge role in this part. If you respond in a welcoming, open way, you’ll leave room for him to send you other texts. Or you ask questions back and so on. If you’re into him and want to continue communication with him, go on.
Note: If texting this much is making you feel uncomfortable, then you should consider telling him, or at least changing your way of approaching him back.
How close are you?
As in, how much do you know about one another, and how much personal information do you share?
If you share personal information then, it could be a sign that you’re close or starting to get close with one another. Usually, men invest time in people they’re interested in and close with. They don’t open up as much as women do.
Closeness could also be a sign of a good friendship. I will explain a bit further in the article about this.
If you’re not very close and don’t share personal information then it could be that he has other intentions besides friendship or a romantic relationship. (These too will be explained further in the article)
How Much is He Texting & What’s the Content of His Texts?
Pay attention to his texts, do they contain emotions, questions, or simply practical things that could be discussed with anyone?
Think of it this way, would your friends give you the look if they’d read the conversation? You know the look, small eyes, freaky smile as if they’re telling you “ you’re up to something sister, and I know exactly what it is, and I love it!”.
Would they try to convince you to delete his number, because they’d get concerned for you?
Or, would they just read it, and wouldn’t react as much?
If he texts you a lot, it could be that he’s into you. But even if he doesn’t text you a lot, it could simply mean he’s not the ‘texter’ type.
It matters a lot what’s on the content of the texts you two send back and forth. For example, if you share personal, emotional (joyful, sad, happy) things, it is most likely that you’re an “about to be” couple.
On the other hand, if you only share things that don’t involve much personal information or emotion like “what’s the app you use for making your projects?”, or “do you know if the game has started yet?” most of the time means that you don’t invest emotionally as much in the person; hence, your connection can be not a romantic one, but rather a friendlier (or another type) one.
What Type is He?
If he’s the big texter, then texting is just what it does and it doesn’t matter much. However, if this is the case for him, keep in mind to check out the content of the texts he’s sending you.
If he’s not the type of person who texts a lot, but texts you every day, then he might have a crush on you, or at least like you.
Your Conclusion: When a Guy Texts You Everyday, What Does That Mean?
If you’ve answered the questions above, and read the explanation to each of them, based on how you answered them, you might come to one of these conclusions:
He Likes You
You saw the signs it takes for you to find out he likes you. If you didn’t read the listed above and simply ‘forgot’, shame on you! I forgive you, and I’ll sum them up:
- His texts contain things related emotionally.
- Whenever he texts you throughout the day, he doesn’t go straight to the sexting (or doesn’t even go there at all).
- He shares personal information with you.
So, now you know how, when, and what guys text when they like you or even love you. “Does he love me?” Perhaps Jannice, does.
He’s a Good Friend
This could be the guy that texts me every day but doesn’t flirt. You know, a good friend can text you every day, and that’s a good one.
You can conclude that he texts you every day because he’s a good friend if he:
- His content isn’t much related to his emotions.
- He tells you about other people in his life and asks you about men in your life.
- You’ve known him a long time, in only friendly manners.
Keep in mind that this could be your conclusion if all of these are combined. And don’t be too surprised. If this is your conclusion it means you’re fun to talk with. If you think about it you don’t text someone if you don’t enjoy the conversation with them, especially if it is just a friend.
He’s Seeking Comfort – Rebound
A lot of us have been there: sought someone else immediately after a breakup. We had fresh wounds, and we were seeking comfort. Both men and women do this.
The way to find out what’s the deal in your case is to ask him about his past relationships. If he tells you he just got out of a relationship, then he most probably is seeking comfort.
It is not wrong to do so. But, it may take time for them to heal and see the actual you in front of them. Right now they see you as someone who’ll give them attention and comfort. They can’t see the real you for the moment.
He’s Just That Type
Some people love love love texting. They’re open to everyone and would text anyone about the smallest things. Doesn’t matter when you met, if he’s that type, he’ll text you. This might be your conclusion if:
- He texts other people a lot too.
- If he shares the same things with others as he does with you.
- He loves texting.
In this case, he can like you, or he’s just friend material. You get that talkative friend that’ll share details with you. Or the potential boyfriend that texts almost everyone just as much as he texts you. To know which one it’ll be, read the signs above, and the content of his texts.
He Doesn’t Like You That Way – He’s Got Other Intentions Other Than Romantic Relationship/Friendship
There are in fact signs he’s not interested in you through text, and everyday texting isn’t one of them, since it isn’t very common. But, there are exceptions.
He doesn’t like you that way, or he just has other motives:
- He doesn’t share much personal information.
- He only texts you at night with messages intended for sexting.
- His texts are not very related to his/your emotions.
- He asks you a lot about a certain friend of yours.
- He asks you a lot of questions about work or some other activity.
It keeps on getting weirder, I know. But trust me, this is something that happens. About what could his motives be about, why would he text you if he’s not looking for friendship or something romantic, you’ll find out below:
Why would a guy text you every day if he wouldn’t like you?
You’re one of his options
It is not very likely, but he might be texting a lot of other girls, probably has a girlfriend, and you’re one of his options. The exact question that crossed my mind was: “Who has time for that for god’s sake?!”, followed by “Would someone do such a thing?”. To only find out that yes, men (and women) do have time for that, and do such things.
This could also be the case of “he texts me every day but has a girlfriend”.
He can try to make up for the fact that he’s involved with another person/other people. It is logical to think, “if he’d have a girlfriend, he wouldn’t have so much time to text me”, and this at times is one of the reasons they do it. It could be that he’s investing for something sexual to come later on.
You have to know that a guy who is a player won’t text you every day.
I don’t want you to go overthinking about it now, but it can happen. A strong indicator that this stands is if he doesn’t ask you to meet up ever. If you’re not learning anything from him, if you don’t feel good about the fact that you don’t see him, I’d suggest you move on.
If in doubt, discuss it with him, and ask him the questions that are bothering you. It’s okay.
He could be interested in learning something you’re very good at
Perhaps you’ve met through mutual friends, or at work, or doing a certain activity. It is a little difficult to comprehend, but he could genuinely be interested in your skills and wants to learn more from you.
You can notice this if all you talk about is work or that certain activity. At the end of the day, this isn’t that bad, you know you can win a good friend out of this. He learns something from you, you can learn something from him.
Though I feel like only 4 people out of all our readers will read this one, because it is kind of unlikely to happen compared to the other things. However, all 4 of you, you can make a good thing out of this!
He could be interested in one of your friends
Yes, he can do that. And I find it offending, but that’s no coincidence, right? Men and insults, ya know.
You can notice this if he asks you very often about a friend of yours. He can play the game so very well and do all the emotional “How are you” -s, the caring and all that. But I don’t want you to fall for that.
Next time he asks you, simply tell him: what’s up with all these questions about my friend?
You can start playing the game, but I would highly suggest that you don’t do that. Seriously, it’s not worth it. And if he’s interested in your friend, his focus isn’t on you, hence he won’t get to see your amazing features and personality. Be straightforward to him, and ask him to be so with you. You can do it!
His ego is hungry for more
This one usually happens when he’s slightly younger. But, that doesn’t have to necessarily be the case, older men can do it too.
If he’s the attention lover, he most probably got a list of women he texts every day to get that affirmation. You’re amazing, and to him, it is flattering when you reply to him. So his ego is going wild, and he’s loving it.
You can notice if this is the case:
- He doesn’t share personal information or problems.
- He doesn’t ask much about you.
- He doesn’t call, nor ask you out.
It sucks, and I see you. Don’t come up with conclusions if you’re not sure this is your case. If you confirm it, I’d suggest you be straightforward with him, and let him know you won’t be texting him any longer.
He Texts Me Everyday But Doesn’t Ask Me Out: Why Do Men Do That?
Yes, so he texts every day, but doesn’t make plans… It is f*cking confusing, I know! I’m sorry but most of the answers to why he texts every day but doesn’t ask me out are bitter. His intentions might not be as good as they seem. Or they are, but he doesn’t know how to express them. Let’s tackle these things together, shall we?
He’s confused: Doesn’t know what he wants
It’s not just about men, this can happen to everyone. He’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants, so he’ll continue texting until he makes up his mind.
He’ll see what you’re like, and wait for himself to finally decide on whether he wants to continue things romantically with you or not.
He could be shy, intimidated, or scared of commitment
He wants to ask you out, he wants to. But he’s shy or intimidated by you. Perhaps even scared of commitment.
This might be the case if you notice:
- He genuinely cares about you. You can see the above signs I mentioned when he likes you.
- He shares personal problems and listens to yours.
- Talks about things he’d like to do with you.
If you’re sure that this is your case, you can take the first step. Ask him out. I did, and it’s been more than 3 years of loving and being loved. Give it a shot!
He could be bored and lonely/alone
He’s got nothing smarter to do, so he texts you and a bunch of other people. He doesn’t know other wiser ways of spending time on his own. He grabs his phone, and texts you and perhaps a lot of other people.
He loves the attention – He might just use you as an ego booster
I wrote all about this above. To not repeat me, I’m guiding you to check out the heading “His ego is hungry for more”.
If You’re Not Comfortable When a Guy Texts You Everyday…
Tell him. It’s better to take the courage and find a polite way to tell him you wouldn’t like to text as much as you’re texting, or no text at all than make him feel worse by ignoring his texts, or making him feel anxious and wait for your reply.
I don’t believe much in should-s and must-s but in this case, I think you SHOULD tell him. Be straight and forward.
It is your decision at the end of the day, and I know it can be difficult to take the courage to tell him. But it is easier for him to handle it this way. Good luck!
Questions You Asked So Much
1. How often should a guy text and call if he likes you?
Men are advised to “keep it cool, let her make the moves”, or to “make her miss you instead of take you for granted”. Now I’m telling you that there are no such rules as how often a guy should text and call if he likes you.
It comes naturally, when they like you they text you pretty often, and they even call you. It depends a lot on what type of person they are, and what form of communication they prefer.
2. How often should I text him?
You should text him as often as you feel like texting him as long as he’s interested too, and you’re not intruding on anything.
Whether you’re a boy or a girl, it doesn’t matter. Text him whenever we’re so used to being told “wait for him to make the first move”. Doesn’t matter if should text him first or not. Life is short, and to be honest, if you feel like telling him something, you should.
3. How often should you text a guy you just started dating/in the beginning?
That entirely depends on your connection, how you respond to his texts, and the type of person he is. There is no should or must. These things should flow naturally, as long as both of you feel the connection, and see potential in each other to have a future together, then things will flow naturally.
However, you can help the flow a little. But do not overdo it. It is good to show signs that you’re interested, but you might seem clingy without you being so if you text way too much.
4. How do I make him call me instead of texting?
Let him know you’d like to talk to him, or that you don’t like texting as much. I once saw this episode of “Ask Steve” and this beautiful girl asked the same question “How do I make him call me instead of texting?”, he answered, “don’t reply to his texts[…]”.
I know it is funny but I wouldn’t like you to follow such advice. I mean, it feels like he’s wanting us to get married as many times as he did.
Instead of giving mixed signals, ignoring his texts, and seeming uninterested (which can lead to him pulling away from you), it would be best to communicate, tell him that you’d like to hear his voice, and let him know that you don’t like texting as much.
It is good reading the signs. It is better to be straightforward and ask about any of your doubts. Clear communication leads to clear understanding, and that is one of the fundamental things a relationship should be built on. (Even though I don’t believe in should-s and must-s)
Peace and love,