It’s after the first date that you know how well the date went and whether he is interested in you or not.
Let’s assume the date went well, he texted after it, which is even better. But now the spark seems to be dimming a bit because he hasn’t texted since.
He might have texted after the first date but not since because he didn’t feel a spark or he’s waiting for you to reach out.
That doesn’t seem to make you stop replaying the whole date to nitpick what went wrong, to satisfy the need to make sense of the reason he texted after the first date but stop afterward.
Dear reader, you don’t have to fret any longer. Here are 10 reasons he texted you after the first date but not since:
1. He’s waiting for you to text him
Although your date might have gone extremely well, you won’t know whether to call it a success until he confirms reciprocation.
If he still hasn’t reached out from the last text he sent after the first date, he might be waiting for you to text him too.
He’s trying to figure out if you’d like to continue to get to know each other, however, there might have been no green light from your side.
Thus, by not texting, he might be hoping that you’ll be the one to reach out to show interest and put in some effort as well.
So, after you come home after the first date, reflect on it before scheduling a second one by asking these questions:
- Was there a connection?
- Did it seem like he was interested?
- Was it fun or just another date?
And if you liked him and would like to see him again, text him and ask him on a second date!
2. If he said he’ll text and didn’t, he isn’t that into you
The message he might be trying to send by not texting since that time after your first date is that he might not be that into you.
What seems like a great date to you might not apply to him since there are preferences that are special to a person.
He might have felt like you weren’t compatible and he texted after the first date to make sure you went home safely and acted like a gentleman.
The connection and chemistry might have not been as strong and impressive for him to go on another date, which is okay, because you had only one date.
Also, a guy might start losing interest as days go by as he thinks about you, which as we all know, could turn into an overthinking of the process.
The right thing to do after a date is to let the other person know whether you’re looking forward to seeing them again or not.
So if you want to know about it, the only way to get your answer is by texting him!
3. He’s going on other dates after yours
Nowadays it’s pretty common to date multiple people simultaneously.
He might have felt a deeper connection with someone else and picked them over you.
Though, don’t be discouraged because there are still possibilities to meet new people and feel that connection you might be yearning for.
He might have texted after the first date but not since because he might be trying to figure out his thoughts and feelings and where you fit in that frame.
So you don’t need to stress and be anxious about his lack of initiative and start bombarding him with texts.
By letting anxiety take over, you will start finding yourself checking your phone constantly, checking your social status, and forming an emotional dependency on him.
Dr. Kathleen Smith suggests that anxiety in a relationship doesn’t make one more insightful but rather more anxiously focused on the other person attempting to figure out their next step.
Thus, you give him and yourself some space and then reach out if you like him. Nothing’s written in stone about a who reaches who after a first date.
4. You might have done something that left him with the wrong impression
One common mistake on the first date is not knowing the right questions to ask and end up unintentionally being offensive.
Some common topics you should avoid are religion, sex, past relationships, and money as that might be too personal to ask on the first date.
You might have given the wrong impression by asking him something about these topics or oversharing which he might have found a turn-off.
Reflect a bit on what you texted him when he texted you after the first date but avoid having a self-blaming view.
Did you hint that you are having a great time and are interested in him?
Think the date back and think whether you could have offended him or seemed uninterested in him. Again, without the self-blaming viewpoint.
5. He found out you’re looking for different things
After you finished your date, he might have been looking to get lucky that night, and when you refused, he didn’t see it worth pursuing since he knows he can’t get what he wants when he wants it.
You made it clear that you aren’t ready for sex right away as he might have hoped, he knows that it’s gonna take time.
Your intentions from the date weren’t exactly aligned, let’s just say that.
He texted after the first date but not since out of curtsy and probably isn’t looking forward to a second date since his primary intention was sex.
Although sex on the first date isn’t expected. 46% of men have admitted to bedding their first dates, while women follow close with a 13% difference.
Just because you like him and would like to have another date, you don’t have to feel obliged to be physically intimate with him in hopes of progress.
6. He’s playing hard to get
A guy texted after the first date to follow up and not let the excitement dim and wants you to text him since he already texted.
He might want you to put in a bit more effort and start playing hard to get him to make you do some of the pursuing too.
You will never know what his real intentions are without texting and it’s okay for you to initiate contact and ask him out, but don’t overdo it.
He might be testing you to see how much you’re interested in him. He made the first move, now he’s waiting.
It’s sad that when a woman puts in a bit more effort it’s seen as cheap.
Nevertheless, the right person will appreciate it and not classify it as clingy or desperate.
So, this could be his way of testing the waters and seeing whether the interest is reciprocated or not.
He’s put the ball in your court, now it’s time for you to make the move.
7. He might be busy and you aren’t a priority yet
You might have not heard from him since after the first date because he is busy with other things and isn’t prioritizing texting over you.
Don’t expect him to prioritize you over everything else since it’s only been a date. Don’t expect him to always be the one to initiate either.
Life gets hectic, he might have forgotten to text you, he might not have the time right now, or he’s just dealing with what he has to deal with.
The good thing is, he gave you a positive sign by texting you after the first date.
You can either wait for another text or take the lead and text him first!
He texted after the first date but not since because your relationship goals don’t match.
He could be looking for something casual and you’re for something long-term or vice versa.
Although you might have received a text after the first date, unless it explicitly tells you that he’d like to go for a second date with a set date and time, you shouldn’t assume that he is interested in something further.
He might just let you know that he had fun to not seem rude and to not lead you into something that he doesn’t have the intention of creating.
Also, your response to his texts matters in helping him create a fuller picture and deciding whether he’d like to give it a chance or not.
9. He is afraid of rejection after the first date
It might sound unbelievable but you might have not gotten a text since after the first date because he’s scared that you might reject him.
You might have not given any signs that you like him and he is still contemplating whether he should text and put himself up for rejection.
By missing your timing to tell him how you felt about the date and he might have mistaken it as you not having a good time, and giving up on you.
So to save face, he chose not to text you.
Do not miss the chance of going on a second date with the guy you like, hit him up and ask whether he’d like to get together again!
10. He thinks that you weren’t interested in him after the first date
Your lack of flirting, vibe, and energy might have left him with the impression that you aren’t interested in him.
This can be one of the reasons why men text you just once after the first date to test the waters and then leave it up to you.
Sometimes, instead of trying to hint to him that you’d like to go on another date or text him, just outright tell him. That’s the safe way to avoid misinterpretation.
Also, what you can show do to show him that you are enjoying your time with him and flirt is,
- Joke around and tease him (just don’t overdo it);
- Be present and attentive;
- Compliment him;
- Leave him some room to talk;
He texted after the first date to check whether you enjoyed it and depending on your reaction, his decision on whether to expect a second date or not is still undecided.
Will he text me again? What should I do?
He will text you after the first date if it went well and he is interested in further exploring your connection.
However, don’t feel disappointed if you don’t get a text right away.
Usually, after the first date, people follow the 3-day rule of texting to keep up the positivity and also, have some time to figure out their thoughts about you.
Although it is recommended to follow up right after the date to not let the excitement vanish followed by also confirming both sides’ perceptions of the date.
However, you shouldn’t be waiting on the phone for three days for him to text you, instead…
It isn’t needy or desperate to reach out to a guy after the first date.
On the contrary, it will tell him that you can also take the lead and are confident in your actions.
Don’t flood him with texts as that might be too much, so one text is enough. Something along the lines:
“Hey [name], I had a great time and I hope you did too. I’d love to see you again soon.”
“Hi [name], I enjoyed our date and I was thinking how nice it’d be to go on a hike together this weekend. Does that work for you?”
– Don’t be hung up on his texts.
Go out and have fun, work as you usually do, and don’t ruin your routine by waiting with your phone in hand checking every few seconds if you got a text from him or not.
You’re giving him too much power without even being in a relationship, and you only feel less restless when he finally texts back.
– Prepare for rejection.
Even if he texted you, don’t immediately put meaning behind his actions. When you finally get a text, answer it without any expectations.
When you expect nothing from him, even if he is letting you know that he didn’t feel a connection, you will be emotionally prepared to deal with the disappointment.
– Don’t lose courage and keep being confident.
Not all first dates are successful and just because you didn’t receive a text after the date, it doesn’t pave the way for how things should be.
Appreciate the experience, turn it into a lesson and take another chance when you’re ready. If you want to take a break from dating, go for it.
If you’re puzzled about it, talk to a professional.
Don’t let the urge for validation lead you into dating more guys just to boost your ego.
So take it with a bit of grain of salt and if nothing, be appreciative of the giddy feelings and happiness the process brought to you.