Open-ended questions are a good start to start a conversation because they won’t end just with a yes or no answer.
Hence, always asking instant questions will make the conversation look like an interrogation.
That’s why you might consider changing these questions into statements.
No matter what you want to talk about that topic should show your genuine intentions and not seem generic.
Personalize your questions, go out of the main lane, meaning ask questions adding your own opinion and experience to it.
Here are 11 good text message topics that you can use:
1. Ask about his day but do it with a twist
To start a conversation and keep it going you need to make the text more meaningful and personal.
Hence, to make it personal doesn’t mean that you should ask personal questions that will make him feel uncomfortable.
You can make the text message more meaningful and personal just by using your own words to express how you feel at that moment.
Thus, to build intimacy and ease any type of tension or awkwardness you can:
- reminisce on mutual experiences;
- bring out an inside joke;
Yet, reminiscing on the past is a good topic only if you two already know each other, are dating, or are in a relationship.
2. Talk about your similarities
Finding a mutual ground or state in a subtle form of the similarities that the two of you have.
If you’ve just matched on any dating app and now you want to send him a text, this is one of the examples that you can use.
- “Hey. have you seen that both of us like skydiving during the night? Not many people like to do it tho.”
- “I was just thinking the other day, that you like to eat pickles with ketchup, which I do too. Only smart people do it lol.”
Keep in mind that you need to be observant first before stating similarities.
Yet, if you constantly assume similarities that don’t exist, this will only pull him away and conversation will become dull.
3. Exchange life experiences
Exchanging life experiences with someone over text messages will help you create a healthy bond.
You will be able to see through him and allow him to get in touch with your authentic self.
Let me tell you something when I was dating a guy in my early 20s, what saved my conversation over text was being honest and empathic.
I was not trying hard to get and getting pursued like crazy.
Since text conversations are hard to be deciphered and many times can be misunderstood, you don’t need to make questions constantly.
That’s what I did, I started my text like: “Hey Joe, I saw you yesterday playing soccer. I have been playing too, wanna play a match.”
In this case, I was being bold and telling my similar experience to him.
4. You can reminisce, be honest and be playful
This is a perfect conversation starter for couples texting because teasing and being vulnerable will strengthen the bond and ignite the fire.
Try to focus more on topics such as your dreams and your aims.
Other than this, you might just make random questions but make sure to pick some questions that are light-hearted, fun, and interesting.
- What makes you love me until this day?
- Name one thing that I have done that has impacted you permanently.
- Remember our first date, I spilled the wine on my dress. Do you remember what color my dress was😛?
5. You can discuss funny topics
A fun text conversation is when you start it by sharing funny memes, childhood embarrassing moments, or some puns.
According to John Gray, the first stage of dating is attraction, so using jokes and personal funny stories will build up attraction.
You might text him whatever you think might make him laugh just be careful to not cross his boundaries.
If he finds that those jokes are inappropriate then prepare to apologize and explain why you send that one.
Again, I will state that you should search a bit about what he likes and dislikes and then send him a meme, pun, or funny video.
If he likes it then the conversation will go on.
6. You can talk about personal achievements or the future
Now, at this point, if he isn’t the type of guy who likes jokes then you can talk about something deeper.
Even if you’re not dating this guy, you can discuss bigger topics such as your goals in life and your aspirations.
As Jordan Peterson stated:
“Assume that the person you’re listening to knows more than you do.”
And this is the key to communication even over texting, to understand him and to be understood.
So, choose a topic that will make both of you comfortable such as studying or working.
Start by explaining how you’re studying to be a nurse and what he finds intriguing about his university or job.
How you formulate it, depends on what type of conversations you were having prior to this.
To know how to be heard, and to listen carefully to what the other person is saying here is what J. Petterson is saying:
7. Drop an interesting detail about you or your life
Sharing your experience and showing interest in him, helps you personalize your conversation.
Yet, asking a straightforward question might make him bored and the conversation will be done in just a few hours or days, let’s say.
To avoid it, you might consider letting him know a detail about your life, so he can do the same.
I am not saying that you should reveal all details about yourself immediately but you can start by doing this:
- Do you know that I used to volunteer in a refugee shelter back in Syria?
- Tonight The Smiths concert is live on tv at 9 pm. I used to sneak into their concerts when I was 12 lol.
To be more specific, having a good conversation isn’t something that can be taught and do it automatically.
It is a skill that can be developed from time to time and it depends on how much effort you put into it.
Here is a more detailed view regarding this topic:
8. Play a game using icebreakers
You should use icebreaker games or some type of trivia as a conversation starter with a stranger.
Since you don’t know one another that much or not at all, you might use icebreakers to get to know one another.
The same as men, women tend to get the attention of a guy by texting first and just saying ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello.’
Well, simple greetings like this will only get you a short greeting too.
If you want to show that you’re interested in him and have a good conversation topic for texting then play Just One Lie.
“Hey, Jeremy, let’s play a little game, let’s spot two true facts about me here:
- I’ve a twin sister;
- I used to live in Guatemala;
- Once, I got drunk in L.A. and ran at Chateau Marmont with two peacocks singing Jailhouse Rock.”
By playing this game, you will be flirty and mysterious at the same time.
That means scarcity will keep the conversation going. You will keep him guessing and vice versa.
9. Put him on a pedestal: Ask about his opinion
A good conversation starter over text is to ask for his advice or preferences.
Even if you don’t know this guy well, you can ask for his advice on where to dine or where to travel next.
Just make sure to connect your questions with a reliable fact that you know about him.
If you have just matched on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, you can look at his profile, photos, and bio and learn more about him.
- “Let’s say he has a photo with a dog and you want to get a puppy then ask him what bread he would suggest.”
- “Or, if he is a musician, you might ask what is his favorite song at the moment and what he would recommend.”
10. Tease and compliment him at the same time
If you compliment him or you’re just flirty that wouldn’t be a good topic of conversation for texting.
If you would text him and say ‘Nice Hair’ he would just reply with ‘Thanks’ it would be harder to continue the conversation from there.
Even though this combination is fragile, you might balance it using flirty conversation starters and challenging him.
“With that suit on you look like a great gentleman, I bet your favorite couple is Allie and Noah from The Notebook.”
“You’re kind, funny, genuine anddddd pretty smart, you could be handsome too but you will be perfect then.”
11. Give him the challenge to handle
In general, a man likes to be challenged and win a prize.
So if you are texting him for the first time then give him a boost.
I am not implying that you should create fake scenarios or please him so he can win.
According to my experience with the last relationships that I had, triggering his ego a bit at the beginning can be a good start.
You can flatter him a bit and tell him how this impacts you.
I advise you to do it subtly so you can attract him and continue the conversation.
Let’s say that he posted a story about a specific band that you might like too.
One of the tips to start a good conversation and keep it going is to ask open-ended questions.
You can text something like “Only smart and hot people like this band. Wanna know who they are?”
With this text message, you attract his attention, challenge him and trigger him to answer you.”
How to know which topic to choose according to your situation?
Before selecting what topic you want to choose when you text him, define why you want to text him.
How you choose a good topic depends on if you want to get his attention and continue dating him, or if you want to keep the spark alive.
~Let’s stake, for example, you want to keep the flame alive in your relationship and you are in a long-distance.
In this case, you should choose a topic that is funny but at the same time heartfelt.
Because when you’re doing LDR, you’re not using physical touch and that leaves a huge void in the relationship.
To fill that void, you need to be good with words and build up your emotional attraction more.
- Try to send him a meme that is related to both of you.
- If it is morning and both of you are going to work at the same time, then send him a funny meme that is related to work.
If you want to text him and have a good conversation topic to get a second date, you need to choose a friendly and intriguing topic.
Friendly and intriguing topics will help you to know more about him and give him another side of you.
Thus, you can use this text starter: “Last date was lovely, hence if you had a superpower what would you change about that night?”
To conclude: Which are good conversation starters for texting?
Good conversation starters for texting are any topic that is light-hearted and makes him feel himself and comfortable.
So, picking a good conversation topic doesn’t mean that it should be all romance. Yet, it should be more about what keeps him alive and full of life.
If you’re a couple already then you can discuss deeper topics but which will be good to have a heart-to-heart conversation.
On the other hand, if you just started dating this guy or are just talking, you should be more to dig into his background.
Be more focused to talk about his interests and his priorities, thus, you can find your middle ground.
If you add your experience to it then the conversation will flow and not be odd.
All love to you,