It’s all fun and games they said, no feelings attached they said, it’ll be fun they said…
Well, it is not as dramatic as it sounds but it has room for some complicated things to go on.
Your FWB has feelings for you, he likes you more than just a friend with benefits, he wants to be more than that, you may or may not feel the same, you may or may not have to look for another FWB, or swear to yourself that you’ll never do it again until you find yourself in the same position you’re in right now.
Ahh, good ol’ days! Or shall I say, good ol’ complicated days! Let’s not get that caught up. Let’s see if he’s got feelings first, and then we’ll see if the situation is complicated or not. I’ll be serving you the signs ma’am. 11 signs on how to tell when an fwb is catching feelings for you:
1. Sex is suddenly not the main ‘theme’
You’ll know your FWB is developing feelings when things don’t seem to be just about friendship & sex. It is more than that now. You go out for coffee or drinks, perhaps games or movies. One of the most basic signs that he caught feelings… How didn’t you notice this already?
You hang out more often and simply have conversations. He asks questions that are not as superficial. They’re quite personal and deep. He even starts sharing things about himself that’d make him somewhat more ‘attractive’ and ‘boyfriend material.
You spend more time with one another, and not just because of sex. Besides the good, hot ‘benefit’ times, you hang out as friends, without the ‘benefit’ part too. In those times you’re benefiting from each other’s presence, and you’re mingling a little. You can genuinely feel the chemistry. Some signs that he might see you only as a friend.
2. The sex is less ‘animalistic’
To get it when you need and want it, was the pact, right? Well, now is not just about getting the job done. When I say ‘animalistic’ I mean it as a basic need that has to be accomplished. Your FWB is catching feelings when he’s kind of making love to you, rather than the ‘animalistic’ fulfillment. It’s all slow and feely.
R-r-romantic. If that’s too cheesy for you, let’s say it’s softer, passionate, and more felt. You can even tell by the way that he treats you while you’re ‘doing it’. He’s more gentle, looks at you, and perhaps even says a nice thing here and there.
If he’s in too deep, get ready for breakfast honey! I know, right? And you just thought he’s only being nice. Well, think about it. He’s been nice almost every time for the past month now. The deal was not attachment, what do you think this is?
3. There are deeper conversations and talks
I mean the conversations which don’t involve much of ‘I like it when you grab my hair while we’re having sex’, they involve things that are more like ‘What makes you happy?’
The topics are all personal. The conversations include personal questions, things that make you happy, sad, angry, etc. It’s like you’re out on a date trying to know more about each other and feel the feelings. He’ll be asking the questions, he’ll be remembering the answers, darling, your FWB, he’s falling…
There’s this look on his face when you talk. Well, you can tell he’s mesmerized. Don’t lie to yourself, you know exactly the look I’m talking about.
4. Other people are not as much in the picture anymore
When I say other people, I mean other people that he’s involved with. You’re the only one he’s sleeping with, he’s spending quite a lot of time with you. I mean, is there any room left for someone else in the picture?
“I’m not seeing anyone right now. I’m just not interested in doing so.” Yes, this is what he’ll say. You know, not this exactly, just something similar to that line. That lets you know he’s not seeing anyone. You’re a friend, don’t get him wrong, he’d tell you, wouldn’t he?
5. You sense jealousy
He’ll get jealous. Finally the very awaited sign. There’s a difference between him being a good ‘beneficial friend’ and telling you someone is purely toxic, or when you’re about to enter a toxic relationship, and him being so into his feelings for you that he disapproves of every guy you tell him about.
“He didn’t seem like a friend to me!” You’ll have to get used to this if you’re planning to stick around with him as long as he’s catching feelings for you. He’ll disapprove of guys, he’ll want to know more about the date, he’ll want to know if you kissed, and maybe try to control the pissed-off version of himself if you kissed. You know, a normal, typical jealous guy/guy friend.
6. “Wanna cuddle for a little while?”
Aha! No strings attached they said, you won’t catch feelings they said… Until, the “Wanna cuddle for a little while?” was thrown on the table, and now everyone is aware of the FWB or ‘hookup’ relationships going for the romantic hills. What a life!
Cuddling is part of the ‘game’ now. He asked you to cuddle a few times, and now it might’ve just become your new normal; Especially after sex. Jesus!
7. Attention, appreciation, and longing
The usual first signs of feelings involved. He’ll pay a lot of attention, he’ll be appreciative, he’ll long to see you again. The best (or worst) part? It’ll be obvious.
You know men, they’re not always capable of hiding things, hence once they cheat we know instantly, oh and yes, once they catch feelings, it’s out there… It is out there!
He can’t wait to see you again. He’ll find his ways to tell you that. Unless he’s trying really hard for you to not have a single clue of what’s going on in his head. Otherwise, he has the feelings for you sis!
Compliments are meant and thoughtful. It’s not just “Oh you’ve got such nice breasts!”, no. Honey, now we’re talking about “Your eyes look so shiny today.”, “That color looks great on you.”, or “I like how you’re so passionate about sports!”.
There’s a lot of attention to your needs. Do you need someone to help you with something? He’ll be there. A shoulder to cry on? His shoulder will be there. You got the point by now I believe.
8. You’re texting a lot, if not every day
“Of course we do, we are friends too!” Yes, you’re friends. But a friend won’t bother to text you every day, or too often to ask how you’re doing, or ask you whether you could solve that thing you couldn’t the other day.
You’re receiving good morning texts. This is one of the signs which will ring the bells in your head. Hear me out: you won’t be in his mind the first thing in the morning if he doesn’t like you, or if you don’t owe him a big load of money. In this case, I’m assuming and being hopeful that you don’t owe him a big load of money. He likes you!
9. “Do you wanna stay the night?”
You know your FWB is so into you when he asks you to stay the night, and boy he’s been asking this for quite some time now.
If it would have been just for sex, you’d be done, and head out. It makes sense that way: you both got the benefit, and now you’re moving on until the next urge for some beneficial times together. BUT, it is different now.
You sleep together after sex. When he’s catching feelings, he’ll long for your presence, and he’ll want to spend more than just the beneficial time. He wants to see your face when he wakes up in the morning.
Take this as a huge sign, and keep the bells ringing, unless he asked you to stay over only once and never again. If he did it only once, then he might’ve just needed to not be alone that night, and you were the friend he could ask that from. If it happened more than once, I’m telling you, ring the alarm bells.
10. The kissing is no longer just for ‘the warm up’
Kissing is good, kissing is amazing. And then there’s longer kissing, and then there’s kissing right after sex, and then there’s… romantic kissing! You already know where this is heading to.
Kisses feel more romantic and more… well, felt. You’re in a beneficial relationship with him, you MUST have noticed a difference in the way he kisses you. If you feel he’s feeling it, if he’s kissing you longer, if he’s putting more effort and skills into the process, honey, your fwb is catching feelings for you.
11. Jesus take the wheel already! There’s an emotional connection
His attitude is different in a good sense. He treats you well, he’s respectful, and he’s curious about you. It’s how men act when they’re interested and when they’re catching feelings. They can’t help it.
He’s all caring and thoughtful now. Perhaps buys you little things, or pays for your stuff now and then. You can tell his gentleness towards you. And it hasn’t been this way before. No, no.
He’s almost like a boyfriend. He’s almost like a boyfriend because he’s been doing ‘boyfriendy’ things. A friend with benefits isn’t supposed to cuddle, take care of you (in whatever way), emotionally connect with you, or spend time with you. The point of an FWB relationship is to avoid exactly that: emotional attachment.
He’s touchy. Touchy, touchy. He will touch you whenever he can. Whether it is a little pat on the back, a very soft and light touch of the hand. If he’s too open about it he might even hold your damn hand.
He tries to make you laugh. He’ll tell you jokes, and be this pretty little thing that loves making you laugh. He’ll want to hear your laughter and see you smile. This sounds cheesy, but it is not as cheesy as your fwb getting attached and feeling the feelings for you, so there’s that!
Are we more than friends with benefits? Quiz
Signs you get through text that your fwb is catching feelings
I’m sure that you use texting as a form of communication. Don’t tell me you’re not familiar with the “I’m horny, wanna come over?” texts. Well, when your fwb is falling for you the texting ‘game’ will change too. The signs? Knock yourself out:
1. He texts you everyday, or at least pretty often
Yes, including good night, and if he’s fallen too hard, good morning texts too. He’ll go extra. It is a sign of attachment, which idea the FWB relationships are pretty much against of, hence they exist as relationships.
2. He’s consistent and caring
What this means is that he texts you often, and does it but doesn’t vanish. He’s caring as in, he asks more ‘emotional’ questions, rather than practical and entirely ‘emotionally empty ones’ such as “Are you free tonight? I’m in the mood!”
3. He sends you things with the purpose to make you laugh
Gifs, memes… and no, they’re not only related to your FWB relationship. They’re entirely meant to make you laugh. He caught feelings, he cares, he wants to make you laugh, it’s that simple.
4. He engages in the conversations
He doesn’t just send those vague answers, he engages in the conversations and gives what he got when it comes to expressing opinions.
5. Doesn’t take too long to reply
Meaning he won’t leave you waiting 5 or 6 hours for a reply. He will reply as soon as he can because he’s starting to care for you more than just a simple reply that he’ll ‘eventually’ give.
6. Your conversations are more than superficial
Yes, the questions, the answers, and the flow of the conversation will get more interesting once he catches feelings for you. He won’t just text you when he needs you around to give and take benefit, he’ll text you for deeper things, like “How are you?”, or “How did work go today?”, or “Are you feeling any better?”.
These are more of the common signs when a guy likes you through text, but a guy is a guy, whether he’s your own, your friend, your boyfriend, when he likes you, he likes you, sis!
FAQ – FWB catching feelings for me
1. Can FWB develop feelings?
Absolutely yes! If your FWB is a human being, that is pretty likely to happen. And it does happen quite a lot in FWB relationships: one, or both of the ‘friends’ catch feelings in friends with benefits relationship.
2. How do you know if your FWB is jealous?
There are a few ways…
# They don’t react well when you tell them about some other person.
# They try to talk you out of other people.
# They’re not ‘happy for you’ that you’ve found someone amazing.
These are just the basics and essentials; Your FWB shows these, you’ll know something’s up, and you might want to consider talking with them.
3. My fwb is confusing me, what do I do?
Honestly, this is a pretty vague question. But the best way out of confusion would be to simply talk to them about whatever it is that you’re finding confusing about them. You can start with something like “Recently I’ve been finding your behavior a bit confusing. Would you mind talking about it?”
4. Do guys fall in love with friends with benefits?
Yes, they do. Though, this is not the case for every FWB relationship out there. There are chances for a guy to fall in love with friends with benefits, but also there are exceptions. It happens, it is likely to happen, and not impossible to happen.
5. How to make FWB catch feelings?
You just don’t. You’re looking for a game, and games are about pretending and ‘playing’ the person into something. This means you’re putting yourself into a mess in which you’ll have to constantly ‘play’ for things to work out.
6. What are the signs your FWB is losing interest?
This takes a long answer, however, this is a bit of a sum up:
# They don’t hang out as often as they used to.
# They’ve found someone.
# They’re slowly disappearing from your life.
# They tend to bring up ‘fights’ that almost always end up in both of you not speaking to one another for a long time.
# They justify their ‘absence’.
# They say no very often when you’re the one in need of the ‘benefit’.
Thank you for your words of wisdom!
My fwb and I have been at it since Feb. We dated (no sex) for a few months and broke up, then he wanted to start a fwb relationship when we started talking again about a month after the break up.
It started out fine. I’d come over, we sit on the couch and talk about life and work as he plays a video game. He knows I’m also a gamer. We’d do the deed and I’d leave shortly after. Now it’s the same except I get a kiss when I come in the door, he always has to have some body part touching me. His leg. His arm. He’ll hold my hand. We laugh. We kiss. We talk about personal things. He has a freaking girlfriend who’s states away mind you. He gets jealous when he mentioned my ex, whom we worked with. He never talks about his girlfriend. We’re playful, tickle fights, always joking. He told me he was my giggly bitch when I tickle him. The sex feels passionate. Slow. Deep. Nice. A lot of kissing. Once I caught him saying i love you changing it to I love this. We cuddle all the time. Before, during and afterwards. Last time we were spooning and he asked me if that is what it is like to wake up next to me in the morning.. we giggle. He downloaded a new game, after telling me he couldn’t justify spending the money on a demo, just so I could see it for he said he knew we both would enjoy it. We don’t text all the time. He is very busy at work working doubles as he is a manager. I never expect a response if I do text him.. i told him about my new job and he told me he was looking to transfer (we work for the same company different stores now). Told him about this guy wanting to give me a one on one training, he got jealous but calmed down when I told him I told the dude I was taken.
I’m in a fwb relationship first issue is I’m in my 50’s he is 35. We been hanging out since July it is now the end of October we talk and text everyday say good morning and good night everyday. It seems he gets jealous over a male friend when I am around him he makes sarcastic comments but one issue I have is because of are age difference we have been keeping this between me and him for the most part and I’m struggling with this we have great sex and it is not just about sex we go out to eat and to the mall we see each other everyday have coffee in the morning together as I take him to work and pick him up. I’m not sure if I should continue this I know I am developing some deep feelings for him and don’t like being away from him. I do tell him I miss him if we should not see each other in a day which is rear but we just have not talked about the question what are we?