The first date can be quite overwhelming and nerve-wracking and you want everything to be perfect.
Asking questions about your first date can tell you a lot about that person.
Hence, you should know exactly what you should and shouldn’t ask them. It’s important to know how to balance the conversation.
If you don’t know yet if your date likes to lead the conversation and you feel the same or the contrary, be neutral.
Try to take it one step at a time. If they lead the conversation then try to follow up your answer with another mini question.
A date can go well if there is chemistry between you and the other person, but how the conversation follows up is quite important.
What I advise you to do is not create straightforward questions. This way you will seem like you’re interviewing them.
Instead, create a path by sharing something from your story and following it up with a question.
At the end of this article, I want you to feel ready and steady to go and bedazzle your date!
Here are 15 first-date conversation starters to help you be outstanding!
1. Give a slight opinion about the place you’re at or something intriguing
The best way to start a conversation on the first date is to give a quick opinion or tell an interesting story.
The story should be about something funny that happened while you were preparing for this date. Something spontaneous.
I am not implying that to make a conversation out of nowhere. Hence, to break the silence that might follow up you might say something like:
“I like this place here, reminds me of a cafe that I visited in Japan.”
It will look friendly and not boring if you start the conversation with something that happened while going on the date.
It’s important to grab their attention from the first moments. Make sure that is something funny and interesting to tell.
Your opinions or even story should be genuine, otherwise, it will seem like you’re bragging or even making it up.
2. Continue with a short and interesting introduction of yourself
As you set the base for the conversation, you can continue to slowly introduce yourself.
The aim is to make it interesting and not seem boring or like you’re flexing.
You can follow up with “What’s your story?”. This isn’t a straightforward question that will make you like you’re interrogating them.
It will give them a chance to speak about themselves whatever they would feel like.
In this situation, they are the ones who decide to talk about their career, family, hobbies, and work.
If you haven’t had a chance with your date, this question will allow you to incorporate your story too.
If you have some similarities, you can talk about them too.
2. “Are you feeling comfortable in here?”
This is a very honest first-date conversation starter that will show more about your manners.
It will be a perfect fit for men, especially who want to show their gentle and polite side.
Even though sometimes this question might have a close-ended answer, it will have a positive impact on the conversation.
Your date will feel at ease knowing that you’re understandable and polite.
This will make them feel safe and be able to open up or carry on the conversation.
3. Add inquisitive questions to your conversation
Making inquisitive questions during the first date is not a crime and wrong unless you know how to do it.
Everyone is curious about the person that they’re having a date with.
You can ask inquisitive questions by incorporating them with your experience too.
This way, you’ll make the other person have a glimpse of your life and share theirs too.
There is a vast of questions that you might ask a man or a woman during the first date.
The best thing that you can do to spice up the conversation is to mix questions.
You can be curious and funny or slightly flirty at the same time.
4. Tease them a bit along the way
Conversation starters for the first date differ from your and your date’s types.
Teasing your date to that extent to be a little flirtatious and add humor to the conversation, helps you a lot.
This gives you the chance to be playing a little bit, be flirty, avoid awkwardness, and share your own opinions
The roasting level should be light and to that scale that it will seem flirty but won’t hurt their feelings.
You might say something like:
“Oh, you never heard about The Smiths, shame on you. I’ll send you a link to one of their hits later on.”
If you notice that they’re not having it then it’s better to apologize if that made them uncomfortable.
In this situation, you might slowly change the subject and talk about something else.
5. Ask them to give you a tour of their casual day
Questions like “Tell me about your day” or “What is the best part of the day” seem pretty generic.
These types of questions are very direct and sometimes leave them confused.
Confused in the sense that they can’t choose what to say and what to leave out of the picture.
Instead of doing that you can say:
“Hey, be my guide for a few minutes. If you can give me a tour of your casual day. Just so we can share some fun and boring sides of our lives.”
This is a nice conversation starter and it doesn’t seem very stiff or enforced.
6. Share stories about traveling
Questions about traveling are the best interrogative questions in disguise. It’s a first-date conversation topic that would not harm any of you.
Through traveling you might learn about your date’s personality.
You might learn if they are adventurous or if they like to stay in their comfort zone.
You can intertwine traveling with food too. Ask them: “While traveling you may have encountered various of food. Which was the most preferable and interesting until now?”
This is more interesting than bombarding them with the usual question: What’s your favorite food?
Since their taste and even yours can be versatile they could be stuck and would not know how to answer.
Ask them for a recommendation for food or where they are planning to travel next.
7. Build a bridge between appearance and their traits
Making small compliments is a good first-date conversation starter.
It doesn’t mean that you always have to compliment them about their looks or their style.
Be careful at this aspect because while trying to compliment them, they might get it wrong.
It’s not always about what you say but how you deliver it.
That’s why giving compliments appropriately cut the tension of the first date.
For example, if you notice that they have an extrovert type you might say, “I admire your bubbly energy. You seem like a natural extrovert.”
In this way, you may engage them to discuss furthermore extroverts and introverts.
8. “I bet I can guess what type of a child you were”
This is a fun starter and usually, you can use it in the middle of the conversation.
If you have already introduced yourself or you know one another to some extent, you can use this.
On the first date, it’s important to create a genuine connection with your date.
While you tease your date with this type of question you trigger them to tell you more about their childhood.
This is better than asking them directly: How was your childhood like?
This way, you’ll only limit them to their answer.
10. “Among friends what are you famous for?”
It’s important to have some idea what type of a person your date is other than when they’re with you.
This triggers them to be more vulnerable and share some details or traits of their personality.
It’s important to know what makes them different from their friends.
They could incorporate how they perceive themselves and how their friends perceive them.
You might know more about their personality and what they like to do or how they behave.
Of course that the answers will come out of their mind, still this will give you another perspective.
11. “What made you happy recently?”
A good first-date conversation starter is focusing on the positive sides.
This will give you and your date more to talk about and creates a positive environment.
Shortly, this will open a door to their honesty and the way they perceive happiness.
This is a very important thing to know while dating someone.
It will help you notice if you have similar ideas or perceptions of life, happiness, and things in general.
This way, you’ll not limit their answer. For them, happiness could be a small gesture from a friend, colleague, or stranger.
It depends on how they perceive happiness and which situation will choose to describe it.
12. Try to be vulnerable to some scale
There is nothing wrong if you’re vulnerable to some extent during the first date.
Many will say that’s wrong to do, but hey you’re trying to know someone and vice versa.
Vulnerability is one of the main traits that allows you to know someone.
Otherwise, dating would not have any importance.
If also the other person is seeking to find someone decent and not just a fling, opening up is a must.
I am not implying to open all the cards, but some of them, yes.
You might start the conversation with something that made you regret any of your decisions.
If that’s not quite personal, you might tell them what that is and how you recovered.
If you want to go on a second date, then it’s important what your date thinks after the first meeting.
13. Talk about the movies/tv shows that you’re watching
According to Trice and Greer (2019) talking about movies and tv shows on the first date is a get-to-know technique.
Since on the next dates talking about it wouldn’t have the same effect.
Most people like to talk about their hobbies and interests.
Even if there are similarities or not this is a light topic for a first-date conversation.
You might compare and contrast your preferences. One can learn a lot from others in this case.
When you start the conversation with this it would lead you to other topics.
You might talk about how a movie or tv show made you feel, why you watched it and why you would recommend it.
This way the conversation will start in a positive tone and will not be boring or awkward.
14. “This music is quite nice. When was the last time you danced?”
Other than movies, people like music. Asking for their favorite music genre would limit their answer.
One might say that this is an open invitation to their music taste and if they enjoy dancing.
When your date answers this question, you might start to know something more about them.
They might have danced in their room, in the shower, at a birthday party, or in the club.
Depending on their answer, you might know if they like to go out and how they enjoy their free time.
If they are not enjoying the date, they might choose to not answer it or navigate the conversation to something else.
15. Go a little bit beyond borders
There is nothing wrong if you’re a little bit brutally honest and curious if you’re thinking to date exclusively.
In the end, everyone date with an aim, whether that it’s to settle down or not.
One of the dating conversation topics should be the future.
I know that for someone is a little bit early to talk about the future on the first date.
Yet it’s important if you’re interested in dating exclusively and not dating other people at the same time.
The aim is to tell your goals and priorities but not scare them away. You might say:
“I liked your enthusiasm about work, do you see yourself focusing on it in the following years?”
16. “I like this area in general. So, where do you feel at home the most?”
One of the best date conversation starters is talking about places.
It might seem not a promising topic at first but it enables you to link with other related topics.
You might follow your sentence with what made you like this area.
If your date starts to tell where they feel at home, you might notice what home means to them.
It could mean where their friends or family are. For someone else, home is where they feel accepted and heard.
It’s a broad topic that will let you know a lot but it will not touch personal issues.
12 funny and interesting first date conversation starters
During the first date, it’s important to make the conversation flow if you want to continue with a second date.
The questions should have a slightly funny tone that can’t make the conversation awkward or uncomfortable.
If your date is not quite interested in you and they’re the wrong person to date, you’ll notice.
They wouldn’t like your jokes and would constantly check their phone.
With the right person, the funny first-date conversation starters will feel all-natural.
Here is a list of 12 funny and interesting questions that you might ask your date. Shoot your shot!
1. If you could live in any other period, which one could be?
2. If you could switch your life right now, who would you choose to do it with?
3. What is the cheesiest pickup line that you have ever used?
4. On a scale from one to ten, how much do you think I am addicted to technology?
5. What part of your childhood would you like to change?
6. Choose three places in the world that you would like to live
7. If you would want to be a cartoon which one you would be?
8. Which fictional character is your soulmate?
9. If you won one million euros right now, how would you spend it?
10. If you never had to work again, how would you spend your time?
11. Once I fell into the mud trying to impress my crush, what’s your story?
12. If you would choose another planet to live on, which one would be?
Be careful to not just pop questions out of nowhere because the conversation will seem very generic.
Even if they’re funny, asking questions that are not related to your conversation will make the situation awkward.
A combination of funny and interesting questions will help you to develop your feelings about your date.
At the end of the first date, you or your date will even be attracted to one another or not.
You might even start to develop stronger feelings than just attraction.
Some first-date conversation starters you should avoid!!!
During the first date, you should ask other questions that will let you know if you’re compatible.
As soon as you get comfortable with one another you might dwell on other topics.
Well, topics such as religion and marriage will be a topic to be discussed on further dates.
Doing it on the first date will be such a turn-off. The questions shouldn’t be designed to dig up the skeleton of your date’s life.
As psychologist Richard Wiseman claims the most successful first date conversation starters were simple topics.
He claims that women asked about their favorite pizza toppings or which fictional character they would like to be.
Hence, he emphasized that questions about bragging about your professional achievements resulted negatively.
- Talking about your ex will shift the focus to them and give your current date a bitter taste.
Especially, if you had a toxic relationship and you can’t help but just bad-mouth them.
- Talking about your passions and work isn’t a negative to do during the first date.
Hence, if you flex about them a lot, it will give the wrong impression to your date.
After that, your conversations will be dull or there will be silence. You’ll notice a slight coldness in your date’s behavior.
- Politics and religion are some controversial yet personal topics.
I would not advise you to never discuss these topics with your date, but avoid doing it during the first date.
As soon as you create some type of relationship, you can discuss these topics on the third or fourth date.
Of course, if politics and religion are important to you too.
Bottom Line: Dating Conversation Topics
The first dating conversation topics should be broad and be a mix of serious, funny, and heartfelt questions.
Keep in mind that the first date is somehow an introductory phase. It doesn’t mean that you should give all of yourself on the first date.
The most authentic way to start the first-date conversation is to share your personal opinions and experience.
This will help you not to make only generic questions and bore your date.
Be confident, be flirty, and listen to what your date has to say too.
Most importantly be you!