In a relationship, even the worst tantrums that were thrown or the cuddles you had will leave a mark in your life.
It’s the slightest fragrance or even a simple song that associates with your ex and makes you miss those moments.
The intensity and length of these feelings will be based on the type of your relationship and how things ended.
Hence, the dumper and the dumpee miss their ex in different stages of the breakup.
These feelings can be very secretive or obvious at some point.
This depends on if you have already moved on or not because your feelings can really create illusionary expectations.
To end the confusion here are 13 fundamental signs that your ex misses you:
1. They’re being melancholic on social media
When your ex is sad and pensive, this behavior is reflected also on their social media.
The negative emotions and the feeling of longing are portrayed through sad songs or quotes.
For some people, this is a way of expressing their feelings.
Your ex is searching indirectly for
- Your sympathy;
- Looking for attention;
- Or they could have remorse feelings;
No matter what their intentions are if they’re doing this it means that they are missing you.
2. They’re feeling lonely or isolated
This is one of the fundamental signs that your ex misses you. Also, it’s even the most complicated and fragile sign.
Actually, emotional loneliness is connected very tightly with feeling isolated and worthless.
Usually, the dumpees are the ones that go through more emotional loneliness since they are coping with denial.
Whereas, the dumpee goes through the same when they feel guilty.
If after the breakup your ex chooses to exclude themself from society means that they’re coping with their feelings.
This means that your ex still misses you and is going through the process of healing/grieving.
3. They send the “accidental” text
When an ex misses you, they would search for indirect ways to show it.
The accidental on-purpose text is the best definition of it.
If you’ve encountered a strange text from your ex such as:
“John, go outside and bring the dog inside”
“Sarah, how you’ve been today”
That means that they just want to get in contact with you again.
They want to let them know that they exist and you’ve crossed their mind.
There are different types of messages that they might send. The message is formed to look like they’re sending it to someone else.
They would pretend to be texting their friends or their new “girlfriend”.
|Note: Dumpers are the ones that try this technique the most. That’s because they might be regretful of their decision. |
They’re missing you but are afraid of being rejected this time from you.
4. They keep mentioning the good old days
Reminiscing on good memories means that your ex misses you and your attachment.
If your ex doesn’t want you then they wouldn’t care to try to relive the same moments with you.
When your ex reminisces means that they miss those times and how they made them feel.
They can mention these memories to you by themselves, through your mutual friends, or via texting.
We can label this sign as a hidden one because clinging up to the past might mean also:
- They’re having a hard time processing their feelings;
- Maybe your ex needs closure;
- They aren’t healed from the breakup yet;
- They met someone else and started valuing you more;
Yet if an ex misses your presence and is affectionate about you, they will add extra opinions to it.
5. They refuse to mingle again
This is one fine clear sign. Not being able to date for some time means that your ex can’t detach themselves from you easily.
If right after the breakup and for some time your ex refuses to jump into dating this means two things:
1. Either they aren’t healed yet and don’t want another relationship;
2. They’re still missing you;
If an ex isn’t trying to date anyone else for so long then that means that they miss you.
They aren’t just ready yet to say farewell to you and enjoy their time being single.
On the other hand, if you’ve recently broken up, they refuse to date because they want to enjoy time on their own.
6. They reminisce with others about you
This sign can be easily misinterpreted if you don’t pay attention to the details.
It’s important to know what exactly has your ex been reminiscing about.
Whether they have been reminiscing about good times or they’ve been bad-mouthing.
An ex that misses you keeps talking to others about how you impacted their life.
If they still connect every conversation and every place with you then they still miss you and have feelings for you.
7. They still use your gifts
How to tell that your ex misses me?
That’s pretty simple. Check if your ex is still keeping and using the gifts you gave them.
If your ex still uses your gifts then they want to feel your presence this way.
It means that they keep those gifts to remind them of you and the time you spent together.
If the relationship has ended really badly then they wouldn’t use the gifts.
When an ex is really hurt after the breakup then they would get rid of all gifts.
No one wants to experience the same pain and mixed feelings when they see their ex’s stuff.
8. Your ex suggests staying friends
There are plenty of reasons why an ex keeps you around and wants to be friends.
One of them is because your ex misses you and doesn’t want to lose you.
For most people, this is the most ideal way to be near their ex.
They want to observe the situation from near: whether there’s a second chance.
Also, staying friends is an ideal way for those who have a delayed attachment style.
If one isn’t ready to move on completely, even after some time, they want to keep you as their forever option.
This makes them feel secure about themselves and less lonely.
9. They have been having a sporadic behavior
Everyone deals with a broken heart in different ways.
Some people find it hard to express their feelings and deal with what they’re feeling.
This might happen to the dumpee or the dumper, there’s no difference.
They might choose to cope with the absence of their partner while numbing their feelings.
One of the signs that they miss you and are not used to your absence is when they deny their feelings.
Your ex chooses to not go through the process of grieving and dealing with what they’re feeling.
Instead, they avoid and deny their feelings developing bad habits such as:
10. They just want to check if you’re okay
When an ex is still emotionally connected with you they will still care about you.
The moment they miss you they will either call or text you to just check how you’ve been doing.
This doesn’t mean to be a sudden call or text. A person who invested their emotions into this relationship and misses you will want specific details.
They need these details so they can be connected again.
In this situation, you won’t get just a “What’s up” text or just “Miss you”. Your ex would text something like:
“Hey Mariah, since today is pretty cold and snowing, I wanted to check if you’re okay. Add other details if you wish.”
This type of behavior is not typical after a breakup.
Yet, if you broke up on good terms and chose to take some distance, this is how your ex shows that they miss you.
11. They act bitter towards you
When someone shows you that they miss you, it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.
This sign is the backside of a coin.
You might think that they don’t have any feelings towards you and that they don’t miss you but this is the way they can show their feelings.
It’s pretty complicated and sometimes you would mix it with an ex who doesn’t want to do anything with you.
Especially if you were part of a toxic relationship or with a narcissist.
They would keep bashing you whether on social media or talking bad about you to other people.
Acting bitter is a type of slight revenge. Since your ex misses you and feels hurt, wants you to go through the same situation as them.
12. They fast-forwarded the new relationship
If an ex chooses to not embrace their pain and feelings then they choose another way to cope with it.
Instead of admitting to themselves that they miss you, they choose to be a part of a rebound relationship.
Other than this, what makes it more difficult and their feelings obvious, is fast-forwarding this relationship.
You’ll notice that their relationship is moving really fast, maybe faster than yours.
I know that you’ll feel hurt and wonder if your relationship meant anything to your ex.
Yet, this is the way that your ex chose to show that they miss you.
They just want someone to continue to live something as they did with you.
13. They make attempts to see you
This is a hidden and obvious sign that your ex misses you. You might bump into them lately and blame the coincidence.
If your ex didn’t miss you and wouldn’t want to come back, they would never attempt to be near you.
You cannot objectively identify this situation until you take a closer look at their behavior.
An ex who really misses you would try to:
1. Get closer to you,
2. Their eyes will sparkle,
3. They would ask about your day,
4. Their body language would show that your ex is still attracted to you and misses you.
Pretty much, an ex still longs for you, would even state that they miss you!
Why doesn’t my ex miss me?
Your ex will always miss you, what differs is the intensity of this feeling that they have.
1. When you hurt your ex. If you’ve hurt them badly and you’ve cheated on them, then a little part of them will miss you but they will despise you.
2. Short-term relationship. Even if your relationship was just a fling, your ex will still miss you at some point.
Humans are built in that way to miss what they’re used to, even if they don’t invest feelings.
3. They choose to not deal with their actions and take responsibility.
If an ex acts like they don’t miss you but deep down they do, they’re not ready to face reality.
An ex doesn’t miss you if he or she chooses to blame you for everything.
Just because they don’t want to feel guilty they throw dirt at you and stating that they don’t need and miss you.
4. They come to the conclusion that you were not compatible with one another.
When you’re a part of a relationship that consumes you and the breakup makes you reflect, you choose differently.
In this situation, you make the difference between what’s the best for you and what’s not. You’re able to go to your true self.
You’ll be able to balance what is like living and being on your own and in the relationship with your ex.
5. Your ex no longer had feelings for you. If your ex fell out of love with you then the intensity of their feelings would be lower.
An ex wouldn’t miss you the same as someone who still likes/loves you.
Once they don’t feel like you’re their priority and aren’t excited to see you, they won’t miss you the same or at all.
When will my ex miss me?
As I have stated before in this article, an ex will miss you at different points in their lives.
The dumper and the dumpee have different stages of life when they miss their ex.
~The dumper will start missing you when they are over the FREE stage of their life.
After they have enjoyed the single life for weeks or months, they turn to reality.
~Whereas, the dumpee will immediately start to miss you.
That’s because they’re hurt, in denial, feel lonely, and their self-confidence is crushed.
In both cases, an ex starts to miss you when they are aware of your absence (emotionally & physically).
To be more specific, you might ask: Does my ex miss me after 3 months?
That depends on your ex’s character and on your relationship.
If your ex has difficulty in dealing with their emotions/feelings, for them it might take much longer. It will last up to 6 to 9 months or even more.
It’s up to them when they decide to sort out what they’re feeling.
There are couples who had a bad breakup but with time they started to reflect and miss their ex.
It all depends on how able you both are to work with your feelings.
Yes, an ex misses you during No Contact. They miss you because they no longer have what they used to have.
Your ex misses you even though you don’t talk because they have time to adjust to your absence. This will help them reflect and miss you more.
If after the breakup you’re all up on your ex’s face then that will make them pull away.
During No Contact, you attract your ex’s attention by taking the situation into your hands.
Since you’re no longer dependent on your ex, he or she will be more curious about your life.
Noticing by far your nourishment makes them want to relive those moments with you.
Being unable to connect with you to be a part of these new memories, makes your ex miss you.
How do you know if your ex misses you?
You’ll know that your ex misses you when they try to be a part of your life again, in every way.
You’ll know it in your gut because everyone expresses differently when they miss a person.
Someone might act like they don’t need you anymore, whereas others will try to be part of your everyday routine.
No one is made of the same essence. Don’t keep hanging on to this matter and not heal your heart.
Once you’re all healed, you’ll be able to differentiate the true feelings of your ex.