Underneath the Surface: He’s been unconsciously telling you[he loves you] all this time
Recently a friend of mine shared a quite long story (which I enjoyed), but by the end of it she hit me with the “So, what do you think, does he love me?”
I nodded, to confirm a positive answer to her question, just so that she could hit me with “Yes, but does he really love me?!” I paused for a sec but then I took my time to find parts of her story to show her in detail.
I decided to share things that I picked from Ari’s story and thousands of other people’s stories to answer your “Does he love me?” question.
Whether he told you he loves you and you’re doubting it, or he didn’t tell you but you’re dying to know, or any other reason you’re asking yourself this question, I’ll be tackling a few signs for you to get rid of that doubt.
In this very article, you will find all about the signs that a man gives when he does love you, some of which he does unconsciously, and some consciously.
So, does he love me? Or does he not? The 6 promised unquestionable signs to help you know he loves you:
– His entire body is being directed towards you. Human beings subconsciously direct their body towards their ‘intention’ or the subject that gets their interest. If he does love you or at least has affection or interest towards you then he’ll be pointing his feet towards you. Not just his feet; his entire body.
– He’s very touchy and kissy. It depends on his love language, but if he loves you, he won’t be able to hold in his desire to touch you. Physical touch is a reflection of closeness or desire for closeness. Pay attention to the touch, and the kisses.
– He mirrors you. It’s a way of syncing with you and connecting with you. An interested man in you will mirror you.
– He’s got a ‘show off’ body posture when around you. This is not only driven by the wish to impress you. This is part of his instinct to not only impress you but to ‘show off’ his providing and manly body, his ability to protect.
It’s part of the primitive instincts that still find ways to show up on the surfaces of contemporary times; We can’t escape them.
2. He does love you if he’s caring and puts effort
He is caring and putting effort when:
– He shares/spends time with you. He’ll want to see you, he’ll want to hear you talk, listen to you; Trust me, he will find no excuses.
– He will do anything to see/talk with you. When he is in love he will do anything to spend time with you; even if it is just for a few moments. At the beginning of the relationship, he’s very curious; you get him to like you, he wants to know more, hence the planning of dates.
When he’s eager to see you, even after a lot of his curiosity has been fed, it is one of the strong signs of love.
– He pays attention to details; He remembers the little things. He notices even the slightest changes in your appearance, in your mood based on your facial expressions, because he pays attention to details.
He notices when you’re not very joyful when you’re upset by something, when you slightly cut your hair, when you put a new shade of foundation on, or even perfume.
– He asks for your opinions because he values them. It could be a certain topic, or it could be something in which he wants to consider your opinion and decide to do or not do that certain thing.
This shows that he values your thoughts, your intellect, your opinions on things. You consider people’s opinions when you trust them when you value them.
3. If He Opens Up – Shows You He’s Vulnerable
Men in most cultures are taught to be ‘tough’ and not be vulnerable, as vulnerability is seen as a sign of weakness; Which is a wrong perception of the whole thing and the source to most of the social problems we’re dealing with, but that’s not the point we’re making today.
The point is, men are not taught to (and don’t) show their vulnerable side.
… unless they’re in love with you, or you’re someone very close to their heart.
Here are signs that tell when he’s vulnerable with you:
– His boundaries and guards are down: He starts to open up. He opens up when he talks about topics that he’s sensitive about; like a loss in his life, or insecurities.
When he opens up it means he likes you, he trusts you, and most probably he loves you. It could be family, could be emotions he’s been having lately. Men usually have a hard time opening up about such things.
– He’s comfortable around you. He’s himself, he’s comfortable saying things he wants to say, to do things he wants to do. He feels free around you.
You make him feel like he doesn’t have to fake anything. He feels valued for whatever he is, and will not question that around you.
So, does he love me, or is he using me? He’s not using you if he’s selfless and protective.
It’s part of a man’s instinct to be helpful, provider, and protective. Our technology, mindset, and ways of doing things have developed and evolved through the years; The protective instinct in men is very present in contemporary times. It’s even stronger once they fall in love.
They want to provide, give, help and protect their loved ones, and at the end get the affirmations; It’s in their genes, what can we do?! Let’s waste no more time:
– He gives you unique gifts. A well-thought gift is a huge indicator that he deeply cares about you. A well-thought gift takes time and effort to come up with. I’m not even starting on the handmade gifts!
And he doesn’t just give you gifts for special occasions only, he gives you gifts just because, or he saw something and it reminded him of you.
– He solves things without you even asking him to do so. He’s handy, protective, and providing for you. It is one of the basic instincts for men when they’re around someone they love and care about.
He hears you ‘complain’ about something that’s not going well, he puts effort to fix it. He does love you; he feels the need to provide the solution.
– He shares, gives, and cares. He does whatever it takes to make you joyful, to see you smile. You can notice this selflessness in the smallest details. He does love you if he makes you feel cared for.
5. If you’re slowly being integrated into his life – he is sharing
Selflessness is part of love, and part of selflessness is sharing – We share when we love. In our case he loves you when he shares time, things he loves, people he loves with you.
– He suggests meeting his friends/family. He wants to tell the world, he wants to tell everyone about the amazing, beautiful person in his life. He also wants to show you who he loves, who he cares about.
In a few words, he wants to share one of the most important parts of his life (what built him as a person) with you and vice versa. He’s got strong feelings going on.
– He shares interests with you: He invites you to participate in things he loves. One common thing that men in general love is watching ball games. If he invites you to such a game… Well, you know the deal already.
It could be anything else. Could be walks, places to visit, his sweaters, food, or anything he enjoys doing by himself, things he loves doing on his own.
– He tries to share his time doing things you’re interested in. He’s curious about your hobbies, about anything you like/enjoy doing really! He wants to engage in things you love, to learn how you do them, he wants to know what gives you joy.
– He isn’t interested in other women. Once he does love you he’ll see you and only you. You will not compare to anyone, because you’ve got that spark and, well, everything, and he can finally see it. So he’s not looking for anyone else. He loves you.
6. If you feel it: “I feel he does love me, indeed…”
It is about the feeling you get when you’re around him; appreciation, love, admiration. If you don’t feel this way in his presence, then you might want to consider your way of seeing yourself; or if you feel like this is the effect he has on you perhaps discuss it, or move on.
Note: Take it from me, you should know your worth no matter what. Don’t you dare question your values before anyone else!
– You feel loved and appreciated around him. You feel appreciated; you feel that he values you, and you have no doubts about it.
You feel that he’s feeling lucky to be standing next to you, to be holding you. You know it because his face and his body expressions are constantly telling you so.
– The way he looks/stares at you. When he looks at you, you will feel that deep connection you have between you. He gives you that look like he’s not afraid that you’ll see everything he is like he’s feeling secure, he’s feeling lucky.
You notice his face brightening up out of joy and admiration for seeing you. You’ll just know!
– He shows affection in public. He holds your hand, kisses you, or hugs you, he’s proud to be by your side. He doesn’t care if some other person sees him and knows he’s not single, he feels like hugging you, he hugs you, sister! He’s in love, or at least, AT LEAST, he’s falling hard.
“Does he actually love me? If he does, why doesn’t he tell me already?” – Here’s why doesn’t he tell you he loves you
Does he truly love me? If he showed the above signs, I think he truly does. That’s a good conclusion, right?
Well, yes but “Why didn’t he spell it out yet?” doubts are kicking in. Here, a few reasons why he might not be telling you (at least not verbally):
1. “What if he/she doesn’t feel the same way I do”
If you didn’t tell him you love him yet, I’m very sure that this is one of the thoughts that cross your mind very often when you think about telling him. Well, that’s the case with men too.
Despite what men are taught to do, and show to others: show that manly toughness that characterizes them; they’re, in fact, insecure too.
He’s not sure if you feel the same way, and is afraid that the huge word will drive you away from him.
2. “Is this the right timing to tell him/her?”
He’s thinking of telling you right now, all of a sudden his heart will start beating faster, and a rap song comes on, he says to himself “F*ck it! I’ll do it some other time.”.
The ‘some other time’ comes and he’s about to get ready to tell you, he starts sweating, and you start talking about a topic that’s difficult to get out of, he says to himself “Oh for f*ck’s sake! Perhaps it’s better if I do it another day.”.
And so it continues until the right music, the right topic, and the right moment comes in…
3. “He/She’s out of my league!”
He might be feeling intimidated by you, this interrelates somehow with the first reason: he’s afraid you don’t feel the same way as him.
He could be intimidated by the way you look, talk, or just behave in general. Just in case, I’d suggest you notice your behavior towards him so that you make sure you’re not making him feel less worthy than he is. Just in case.
It could be something internal he’s dealing with. It is a very common one.
Does my man love me? – If it turns out he doesn’t love you…
If he doesn’t love you, I’m sorry because it might take you some time to get over him.
But then, I’m not sorry because there will be larger chances for you to meet someone who will cherish and admire you the way you deserve to be cherished and admired.
I have a few things for you to consider:
- Respect the time you had together so you respect yourself and him.
- Just because he doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean he won’t in the future. If he lacks respect, and positivity towards you, then take this as a sign to move on.
- Love every bit of yourself for both of you and move on. Love yourself the way you wish to be loved by him.
- Don’t let that define any of the opinions and thoughts you have about yourself.
Someone will see what he didn’t and will be able to love every single bit of what he sees in you. Trust me!
Things to Consider Before Jumping to Conclusions
– What stage of life is he in?
As in, does he have a job, is he in college, in other words, how many responsibilities does he have? This is related to the time you spend together, and if that time you do spend is reasonable.
– How long have you been seeing each other?
If it is too early in a relationship, understand that to love someone is part of understanding and accepting the person, and these take time. If it’s been a long time since you’ve been dating, note the communication between you two, it also depends on how open you are to one another.
– How mature do you consider him to be?
It has a lot to do with how he perceives love, and how he sees things in general. You can even ask him about opinions on relationships and love.
– How does he treat himself?
If he’s not being ‘nice’, or ‘good’ to himself, the chances for him to be ‘nice’, or ‘good’ to others are minimal. I’m not saying he has to be constantly being nice and good all the time, that would be unrealistic but look for signs of self-respect and self-love.
– Each person is different
These signs apply to men, but know that there can be exceptions since not everyone expresses or manifests love the same. We are humans, we do and say things that sometimes we mean, and maybe sometimes we don’t.
– Know what to expect from him.
I read somewhere something like ‘if he prefers watching a football game rather than spending time with you, he’s not the man you want in your life’, I find it absurd, to be frankly honest. I’ll tell you why…
A relationship is not meant to be two people ‘chained’ together, [people in a relationship] they’re meant to have a connection, a bond, and freedom with one another. You both are two individuals before you become ‘one’. You have separate lives, you are two different people. You like different things, you do different things, and that is okay.
So, take this from me: If he prefers to watch a football game rather than spend time with you, it’s okay, and don’t you dare put your entire relationship within those ‘watched football rather than spent time with me’ frames, ever.
FAQ – Does he love me? How much & why?
1. Why does he love me so much?
Because he saw you. The real you.
The fact that you’re asking yourself this question is giving me a few hints that you don’t appreciate and love yourself enough, hence the thought of another person loving you ‘so much’ is surprising to you.
He sees within you, and your beauty (in and out), of course, he loves you so much. Give it a try and see what he sees.
2. How much does he love me?
Love isn’t really something to be measured. When he loves you, he loves you. He’ll be all in his feelings, joyful, happy, positive; it’s the “side effects” of love.