In case you are not blessed by the Raya gods, similar rules apply to Bumble. And Hinge. And JDate. And Christian Mingle. And even the Sears of dating that is Tinder.
This Christmas, I had my very own miracle. I got accepted to Raya, i.e. the Mecca of online dating apps, where regular folks get the opportunity to mingle with (mostly Instagram-slash-D-list) celebrities via a (highly-exclusive-slash-ambiguous) selection process.
For the two months that I waited for this joyous event, I consoled myself by thinking that this mass hit of a blog was preventing me from being instantly accepted. “Its fine” I would tell myself, “they just don’t want me writing a tell-all about my potential tryst with Adrian Grenier” (don’t get your panties in a bunch, haven’t spotted him yet!) As it turned out, my delayed acceptance had nothing to do with my potential threat to the Raya codes of discretion, as much as it did with my general low ranking on their looks + cool factor-based criteria list…
Because, the minute they ran out of models, they accepted me! The Promise Land of all dating apps finally parted its magical gates and granted me entry! Nothing had ever felt so great.
And so, the better part of my Holiday weekend was spent binging on peppermint bark whilst watching collages of beautiful humans rotate on my iPhone screen, all whilst eating more peppermint bark to process the fact that there is an entire breed of homo-sapiens walking this earth with a grossly unfair genetic advantage, men and women included. Meaning that for every perfectly chiseled, man-bunned photographer, there is a model who gives Emily Radwanski a run for her belfie..
And they all happen to be on Raya. Four days, 300 slideshows, and 60 matches later (since the women are pre-screened, I imagine the guys just swipe right without looking), I feel like I have been given a crash course in self-marketing from the worlds finest Instagram celebrities, which I’m about to share with you! To avoid getting kicked off (a feat I would not survive), I will have to demonstrate on myself.
To start, you must remember that, just like in fashion, an eclectic, high-low mix is key. Hence, you must strive to attain a perfect balance of sexy vs. cool shots, starting with…
As I mentioned, most guys go for quantity over quality, preferring to max out their matches and filter through later. (I would rate follow-through at around 20%.) Hence, the main picture is often their sole deciding factor, which means that it has be good.
personally, I chose this one because my friend Caroline spent a good few hours Photoshopping it and because I’m wearing Dries and because I look like a balance of happy and mysterious (ha!) and approachable. And even sane, which I’m not.