Finding the right person to spend life with, is what most people fight for. But what if you are torn between two guys?
You can choose between two guys by paying attention to how they treat you, and which one has better qualities for a long-term relationship.
You do so by following your instinct and your idea of the perfect man.
It can be heartbreaking for both parties to know that they are competing for you. Yet, it’s unfair to keep dragging them this way.
Here’s how you make the right decision! Choosing between two guys, made simple:
1. Pay attention to their good and bad qualities.
To decide on how to choose between two guys, it’s good to make a list of their good and bad qualities.
This will help you understand which of the guys you’re more compatible with.
It is up to you to see what qualities are good or bad. It depends on what you are looking for in a man.
Every person has red flags and green flags; positive qualities and negative qualities. You just need to know what is a dealbreaker for you.
When you see their qualities side by side, it will give you a clear idea of which one you can have a healthy long-term relationship with.
2. Use the ‘flip a coin’ trick to know if you have stronger feelings for one of them.
“Flip a coin for them, and by the time the coin hits your hand, you already know for which one you are rooting.”
Hypothetically, you’d have no other choice but to do what the flip of the coin determines.
The head is one guy, and the tail is the other. If the coin lands one or the other, put yourself in this hypothetical position: you have no other choice but to accept the results.
Now, if you’re super excited or kind of upset that the coin landed on your head, you know where your heart is at.
This can help you, at least, figure out where you’re standing emotionally with each guy.
This might not help you figure out which is the best pragmatic choice, but it’ll surely help you know which of the guys you like more.
3. See with whom you are more compatible.
At the end of the day, what matters most is to be compatible with your man. This is how it becomes easy to choose between two guys.
Everything you do with them daily will allow you to see how compatible and emotionally connected you are with both of them.
Pay attention to:
- Topics they like to discuss.
- Things they are interested in doing in their free time.
- How in sync you are with ideas and plans.
- Things they prioritize.
This will help you know which man is more compatible for you and will help you choose easily between the two.
4. See how they act with other people.
Pay attention to how they treat and act around other people. This will help you get an idea of what type of person they are.
If they treat other people with respect, it means that in the long term, they will be quite respectful.
If they only treat you nicely but are disrespectful to other people, e.g. service staff, friends, and strangers, then this man might not be a great match.
This makes it easy for you to choose between two guys because you will see which one is the most respectable.
5. Don’t let sex be the main factor to influence your decision.
As important as the sexual connection is to determine a relationship, in your case, it is not good to let sex decide which one is better.
Lust will make you choose someone without logical sense.
Instead of focusing on sex, focus on attraction, and don’t sleep with either of them until you decide. Sex will only make you rush your decision.
6. See which one is more family-oriented.
If so far both of them have shown good qualities, it’s hard to decide. You should focus on which of the two is more family-oriented.
You are looking for someone to have a long-term relationship with, therefore you need someone who you know for sure wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Research shows that women prefer a man who is more family-oriented rather than work-oriented.
To be able to choose between two guys, the more family-oriented one is the right choice for you.
7. Compare how they act in a disagreement.
Disagreements and arguments are part of everybody’s life. You will for sure have conflicts and arguments from time to time.
What is important in this case is how they handle an argument.
- Do they hold their composure?
- Do they yell?
- Do they try to fix things with you?
- Do they give you the silent treatment?
Knowing you will spend the rest of your life with one of them, it is better to choose the one who’s better at anger management, and more respectful regarding arguments.
8. Pay attention to your instinct.
Your instinct or gut feeling is always right. Deep down you know which one you like, but you’re most likely confused.
This helps you understand that, inside, you like one more than the other, but you are overwhelmed by the idea of choosing.
Your gut feeling will help you choose between two guys. Follow and listen to it.
9. Don’t make a decision based on appearance.
Appearance doesn’t help you in the dilemma of choosing between two guys, so don’t focus on that.
The best explanation we have is the myth of Narcissus.
Appearance shifts and changes throughout the years, a handsome face can easily look different with the wrong haircut, beard, or brow shape.
Substantial beauty stands in the personality, character, and behavior. Focus on that if you want to make the right decision.
10. Do you feel guilty about this love triangle?
If you are seeing one of the guys, and you feel guilty about doing this to the other one. Then the answer might hide here.
Whenever you hang out with both of them, see with whom you have more fun, and with whom you feel guilty.
You will feel some type of guilt either way, because you know they don’t deserve this.
But the person you feel most guilty for is the one that belongs in your heart.
11. Do your research on polyamory.
If you still have a hard time choosing between two guys, do your research on polyamory.
Polyamory is when you agree to have a relationship with more than one person. This is a mutual decision with your partner(s).
Do your research, read about it, and think about it. When you are familiar with this idea, talk with both guys and see if they agree.
12. Ask a professional to help you out.
If you need more help in your decision, a professional will help you out.
Relationship coaches know the best way to handle these types of problems.
Talking about your issues with your relationship coach will find you the best way to handle the problem.
And with the help of an expert, you will be able to know how to choose between two guys.
These questions will help you in your decision!
Below you will find a table with 15 questions. Consider this like a mini quiz for yourself.
It’s very simple: you have 15 questions that will allow you to delve deep into the feelings of these two men.
For each question, the one you think fits better gets a plus point.
At the end of the questions, you will see who has the higher score wins this quiz and has also won your heart.
Questions to ask yourself. | First Guy | Second Guy |
Who puts more effort into your happiness? | ||
With which one is the communication clearer? | ||
Which one is more affectionate towards you? | ||
With whom do your goals align? | ||
Which one do you have better chemistry? | ||
How do they make you feel about yourself? | ||
Which one is more focused on bettering you and yourself? | ||
Which one is nicer with other people? | ||
Which one is trying harder to win you over? | ||
Which one has similar interests to you? | ||
Which one makes you laugh the most? | ||
Who makes you feel safe and at peace? | ||
Which one tends to frustrate you | ||
With which one does the future seem brighter? | ||
Which one do you really want? |
After you are done answering these questions, you will know who has the larger part of your heart.
You can also do a little experiment, to further prove and strengthen your point.
Experiment:
Stop talking to both of them for a couple of days. Take a break (tell them you’re going on a trip and need me time).
It will help you clarify your feelings and your thoughts, and also you will see the impact of both of them on you.
This break will help you understand:
- Which one you missed the most?
- Which one reached out the most?
- Who did you want to text multiple times a day?
- Which one you couldn’t wait to see again?
If you follow these steps, and with the help of this little quiz, you’ll be on the right track to knowing how to choose between two types.
You’ve got this!
Warm hugs,
Callisto.
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