Before investing your energy, love, and attention in someone who isn’t interested in you, you should get clues from his body language.
I lost a year of my life trying to make him fall for me because I took mixed signals as a yes and didn’t reflect on his body language.
To avoid the same mistakes that I did, check these 11 signs to decode the body language of a man not interested:
Disclaimer: After reading this article don’t jump immediately into conclusion. Try to check also other external factors such as his life dynamics.
The definition of good/positive body language
Positive body language is the definition of someone who is feeling confident and comfortable around you.
He smiles widely, has a great posture, and tries to break the physical barrier.
Yet, to get a bigger picture, below you have the needed answer!
1. He keeps his distance from you
If a man is not interested in you then he will try to not break the physical barrier with you.
He doesn’t try to invade your personal space or lean toward you.
On top of it all, keep an eye on whether he’s attentive or not if you’re having a conversation with him.
Thus, if he’s scanning all the room and barely listening to you then he might not be interested.
- He might keep checking his phone;
- He might constantly check for other people to hang out or have a convo with;
2. He doesn’t smile widely
Someone smiling can be a gesture of being friendly and approachable.
Yet, if a man is smiling widely every time that he sees you and his face lights up that means that he likes you.
I have been just hanging around with a boy in my late 20s. I was tired of dating and just decided to give him a chance.
- In my mind, he was interested in me and wanted something more because he smiled at me and even waved.
Well, at some point I wasn’t wrong. Positive facial expressions mean something, right? Right?
Body language expert Joe Navarro broke this point very well in an interview for Wired where he explained how facial expressions work.
He said that to communicate silently but effectively human beings use their facial expressions.
But if there aren’t any additional gestures that might mean that he isn’t giving you special attention.
3. There is no enthusiasm on his face
Lack of enthusiasm is a big disclaimer.
If a guy doesn’t like you and isn’t interested to have a relationship with you, his face might be neutral.
- His face won’t light up as soon as he sees you.
- On the contrary, if he is laughing with someone else then he might not keep the same tempo with you.
- You might notice that he still might smile, laugh, or make hand gestures but still will decrease them slowly;
4. He doesn’t try to maintain eye contact with you
This sign is quite controversial but that might give you a lot of information.
A man who is shy struggles to keep eye contact with you but if he is avoiding to keep eye contact only with you then that’s a sign that he isn’t interested.
- When he isn’t interested, he will keep eye contact with others maybe not intensely but will give it a shot.
- You might think he might be overstimulated and anxious and cannot maintain eye contact with you.
- But if he is shy and interested, he will just get a glimpse of you or glance at you.
For example, You’re at a gathering or a party and you notice that he doesn’t keep eye contact with you but he does with others.
Other than this, he doesn’t even look in your direction and constantly hangs out with other people. This is a big no-no.
5. He stands still and doesn’t move a lot around you
Hand gestures and expressive body movements are the main elements that explain whether he is interested in you or not.
Yet, keep in mind that sometimes when a man is overwhelmed and feels something about you, he might go numb.
- But you might notice that he might be awkward and start to find even the weirdest thing to talk about and continue the conversation.
- When he isn’t interested, he will just stand still and emotionless and doesn’t make a move to get your attention or keep talking to you.
Even if you try to tell him something, he isn’t passionate when talking to you.
To get a glimpse of what is going on in his head, a relationship coach will give you the needed advice tailored to your situation!
6. He doesn’t pay a lot of attention to his posture when he’s with you
I know that right now you might think how his posture has to do with whether he’s interested in me or not.
Shortly to say that has to do a lot. A man that likes you and wants to impress you, he will choose to be more presentable.
- He wants to present himself in the best way possible so he can grab your attention.
- He cares how you perceive him and what you think about him.
- Thus, a man that likes you will try to stand up front and not turn his back or even slouch.
7. His lips are tightened
When someone feels relaxed and likes you or technically has positive body language, his lips will be loose.
He might bite his lip if he is attracted to you and tries to lean next to you.
- On the other hand, if his lips are tightened and his face is somehow neutral, he might not be interested.
- To be more specific, tight lips explain a feeling of discomfort and lack of enthusiasm.
For example, you are speaking to him and complimenting him or showing a bit that you like him, and his lips are tightened hard.
This means that he isn’t feeling anything in particular or special.
8. He doesn’t touch his face a lot and keeps his arms crossed
Touching his face while speaking shows anxiety or discomfort.
And when a guy is interested in you and doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he will touch his face constantly and keep staring at you.
- If his arms are crossed and he doesn’t touch his face or make gestures, he is just setting a barrier between you too.
- He is not showing that he is enthusiastic or that he feels relaxed in your presence.
- By keeping his arms crossed he is avoiding staying closer to you or even letting you make the first move.
9. He doesn’t look you up and down
The behavioral investigator Vanessa Van Edwards explains that men use different brain parts to show and perceive body language signs.
And when both women and men are in the courtship era, women use 50 different brain parts to read body language signs.
Whereas, men use only 5 parts.
- Thus, when a man isn’t interested, he will cut to the chase. He won’t check you up and down. Eyes tell it all.
- Not every man expressed their feelings and needs the same but the one who is attracted to you will show it.
- His eyes will sparkle and he will subtly check your face while keeping eye contact with you.
10. He doesn’t try to touch you abruptly
A cue of the body language of a man not interested is the lack of physical touch.
I am aware that right now you might think that maybe he doesn’t lack physical touch.
That could be a possibility but hear this out.
- A man who isn’t interested in you won’t brush your shoulder or touch your hand out of the blue.
- He avoids any type of physical touch with you and makes sure to not stay too close to you.
- Also, he isn’t enthusiastic or doesn’t require to sit next to you while going out.
11. He doesn’t mirror your body language
Well, this sign is a tale-teller. If a guy isn’t interested in you and isn’t attracted to you, he will mirror your body language.
There was a girl who was friends with a guy who she liked and he started giving her mixed signals.
I asked her. Has he ever out of nowhere started to mirror your body language or behavior?
- Such as laughing when you laughed.
- Looking straight into your eyes when you did the same.
- If you leaned towards him did he lean towards you?
And the answer to all this was No. It means that he was distant and disconnected.
Even Forbes has written an article regarding how mirroring someone’s body language means empathy and a special connection.
What to do if his body language tells you that he’s not interested?
If his body language and other external and internal factors tell you that he’s not interested then don’t panic and make yourself feel small.
Keep in mind that not every man or even woman has similar preferences when it comes to dating.
1. It’s better to stay calm or even approach him and show interest and flirt a bit.
Flirting first or texting him first isn’t a bad move.
Only if he has rejected you or told you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you then it’s better to take a step back.
Because if you keep persisting without considering his intentions and decision will only push him away and give him the ick.
2. You shouldn’t back up immediately or remove yourself from the situation.
Sometimes even checking all the signs might lead you to confusion.
Try to disconnect for a while just to clear up your head a bit but don’t cut contact with him.
If things get worse and he constantly tries to ignore you or ghosts you first then it’s better to move forward.
Trying for some time and making your intentions clear and setting your boundaries doesn’t mean that you’re wasting time on someone.
3. Romanticising him right now shouldn’t be an option.
I understand that you might feel hurt, confused and want him to be the one.
But if he keeps constantly pushing you away and showing no interest at all then it’s better to keep your feet on the ground.
- Surround yourself with people who care about you and try to notice the small things in life such as hugging your best friend or eating ice cream.
- Don’t take this “rejection” as something that will define your dating world. I know that it’s hard to do because I did the same thing.
Rejection and uncertainty kept hunting me for years as I was searching for my soulmate.
- Try to read more about what true love is and find communities that talk about this so you would demolish overthinking.
4. Don’t try to change him or try to learn him how to communicate if he doesn’t want to.
If you already have given him signs that you like him and tried to communicate your feelings but he didn’t react this will impact you negatively.
When I say negatively, I mean that you will continue to live in a bubble for some time and think that things will change if you do more.
Know that this doesn’t depend only on you. He has to notice himself that you’re doing everything to tell him that you’re interested.
If he doesn’t get these cues or even straight messages then it’s your birthright to look forward and move on.
Just one or a few gestures cannot immediately define whether a man is interested in you or not.
But, if you combine his body language with other factors such as his internal state or whatever is going on in his life then you’ll know that he isn’t interested.
When a man is not interested his body language will reflect on how he feels.
He will make sure that he doesn’t use his gestures to connect with you or treat you specially.
Thus to define a man’s disinterest try to spend more time with him and try to learn more about him.