The 3-month rule in dating is taken as a general rule by many people but I tell you look at it from a different point of view.
Take this period as a guide to let you know whether you can create a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
This “probation” period is a chance to let you know whether your dating goals are aligning with the other person.
Yet, this doesn’t mean that you should call the relationship off after 90 days if things aren’t progressing the way you want.
Give them and your time some more time and check how things will progress.
Below you will find further info on this rule and how to follow it. Let’s investigate it together:
The 3-month dating rule in a nutshell!
The 3-month dating rule is a rule that people follow for 90 days so they can get to know more about their boyfriend or girlfriend before taking the next step.
During these 3 months, they try to set a friendship first before sleeping with them or committing to that person.
What should you do during these 3 months?
During these 3 months, you should have a simple plan but still, I wouldn’t recommend you to set your feelings aside and operate logically.
True love isn’t found by following just your logic. You should also follow your heart.
Thus, the 3-month rule in dating is more about creating balance while you date.
1. Enjoy the moment, be spontaneous but vigilant too.
Don’t try to constantly restrain yourself from feeling or embracing your emotions.
Let things flow and don’t try to control what you or they feel and think.
You can let yourself feel but also try to not have expectations. Just enjoy what you’re currently feeling.
2. Define what you like and dislike about them.
When you’re using the 3-month rule dating, you might think that you’re in a rush.
On the contrary, you’re giving yourself and them maybe to detect the ups and downs of your relationship.
To avoid a toxic relationship, you should reflect very early on the red flags of them and of the relationship.
Check if there are any deal breakers and if both of you are able to fix them.
They might be clingy at the beginning but then they will flip the switch and become isolated or even controlling.
3. Get to know more about their mindset and beliefs.
Before getting emotionally invested in them, you should ask questions and check what they believe in and if their goals align with yours.
Following the 3-month rule it’s beneficial because you get to find out what they like and what they think about life in general.
If you settle down with someone immediately because you like them there is a high chance that the relationship will shatter.
When you don’t discuss at the beginning that you don’t like them to be on dating apps during this time then maybe they will respect your wish.
On the other hand, if you don’t discuss anything that matters to you or them, things might fall apart.
4. Test them from time to time.
You can take care of your emotions and connect with them but to find out if you’re compatible, you can test them too.
If you are following this rule then you need to check a bit how they will react in different situations.
This doesn’t mean that you should only focus on setting constantly “traps” for them.
Just take it easy and when you think that it’s appropriate you should start to set your boundaries and set yourself first while you give them your attention.
5. You can flirt and be intimate but reflect if sleeping with them benefits you.
I know that for many people sleeping with their date isn’t a problem and I’m not implying that is a bad thing to do.
Yet, if you follow this rule, you can set emotional attraction first before sleeping with them.
This will help you to get to know them better and not regret your decision when you learn some new information about them that you won’t like.
6. Set boundaries but don’t put up a wall between you two.
During the period while you use the 3-month rule dating, it allows you to set boundaries and check how they react to these boundaries.
It’s better to let them know slowly what you tolerate and what you don’t so that later on there will be no surprises.
Indeed everyone is different and experiences different relationships, love, and trauma.
Yet, this 3-month trial will give you a glimpse of who they are (if not 100%, you’ll be able to know 50% of them).
Should you let your partner know about the 3-month rule dating?
Whether you should let your partner know about the 3-month rule dating or not depends on how they would react and how would you deliver it.
If they don’t know what this rule is then maybe they might feel confused and it might make them overthink.
Yet, if your boyfriend or girlfriend is self-confident and maybe they might have the same goals it would be better to tell them about this rule.
1. You should let them know about the 3-month rule in dating if you’re dating to marry.
If you’re dating just for fun or to have a good time then you shouldn’t bother yourself or them with this rule.
When you’re trying to keep things superficial, there is no need to use this rule because you’re not searching to attract them emotionally or vice versa.
2. If you don’t want to get played then you should let them know.
Yet you should be careful because when they know that you are following this rule, they might act according to your wishes.
They might pretend to be someone they aren’t for a longer time than just 3 months.
Is dating for 3 months serious?
Dating for 3 months can be and cannot be serious. This all depends on what type of relationship you’re developing.
If you just say that you’re in a relationship but don’t care for one another or don’t start to get to know one another then that can be just an extended fling.
~The moment that they don’t try to connect with you emotionally and just flirt during these 3 months, they aren’t looking for something serious.
~They might jump from one woman to the other as soon as the honeymoon phase is over.
Even the dating coach Adam LaDolce has claimed that if the relationship gets pretty bad and it ends immediately after 3 months, they are searching only for sexual energy.
In this case, the relationship might start out as too strong and the sex might be great but these might be only two small elements to form a great relationship.
Make sure to check other elements such as mindset, compassion, long-term goals, and so on to see if you’re compatible or not for more than 3 months.
The pros and cons of following the 3-month rule dating!
Now that you’ve learned what the 3-month rule in dating is, you might wonder whether you should use it or not.
Yet, many Tiktokers, Youtubers, and dating coaches advise you to use this rule for its pros.
~If you use the 3-month relationship rule, you’ll avoid heartbreak and you’ll not end up in a situationship.
Again, this all depends on how long are they able to pretend something that they’re not or how long they can hide their true intentions.
~You will build trust and emotional attraction.
Think of it as a trial period, you will get the first impressions and then you will decide whether you’re compatible or not.
Trusting someone in a relationship is hard and using this rule will allow you to check whether you can do it or not.
A man might expect a woman to be immediately intimate and if he wants to be with you, he will wait.
~You might “scare” them away but know that is for the best.
Indeed, it’s hard to not be spontaneous and allow yourself to be immediately intimate when you’re following this rule.
Hence, as Steve Harvey explains, someone might not show their true colors immediately and might be interested only in sex.
And if he isn’t interested in knowing who you are then you’ll get rid of someone who is not meant for you.
This rule will help you to differentiate true love from unrequited one.
Defining the 3-month rule in dating!
This contemporary concept was raised lately by different Tiktokers but the 90 days probation in a relationship was elaborated by Steve Harvey too.
They suggest you put or follow this time frame so you won’t be expecting something surreal.
It happens most of the time that we get carried y our strong feelings that we have for that specific person and we end up getting way too hurt.
In the end, try to make your own rules. Combine and adjust them to your attachment style and to your expectations.
All the best,