I'm afraid of myself....

By paleta | Jan 07 2016

Okay, here's the deal... and it's kind of fucked up. I demand to much attention from everyone, not in a creppy way but attention. I'm not self-involved, actually one of the things I'm not really used to talk about, are my feelings and how I feel toward things, but still I like to have attention, to get a text from the people I care everyday, I might not respond sometimes, but I just want to recieve it. The things is that, when some of the people I care, do not pay me attention at all, I get extremly anxious. I had a friend, we where Bff, I used to be her personal advicer in every subject of her life, but we've been quite apart lately, and when I ask her to give me some attention (I don't go, hey give me attention, It's more like I text her to tell her something) she doesn't even care, she do not call me or text me back in the way she used to. This leads me to kind of a anxiety breakdown, even more when more people it's involved. I would even try to hurt myself because the pain I feel from hitting my body can not be compared to the pain I feel inside, so I try to focus on that pain, so i can live with the one I have inside. This is becoming worse and worse, I'm afraid someday I'll hurt myself in a more serious way. The thing is, nobody knows this, everybody things I'm just a fun, nice and crazy girl who doesn't care about what people think, or do or whatever... But I'm not like that, It might seem like I'm but I'm not... and I don't wanna show this side of me, to anyone... what can I do?

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