By veronicayosoyyo | Mar 21 2015
I invited him to breakfast, to relive a little flame decade are together and never talk about anything, forgotten and brought his daughters forgetting my invitation, I said but look how are you, so you want to go for breakfast ??? let me sleep tomorrow I call I wanted to say?
By anita1107 | Jan 18 2015
What do i do? How do i get over this and not wanting to talk to him all the time?
By mloebach83 | Dec 23 2014
Want opinions on gift giving..
Started talking online in early October. Had first date late November. Have had 3 dates total (we both travel frequently for work and he has kids so scheduling has been difficult). Really great guy, shows me he cares in so many ways: driving over an hour to see me, cooking for me, sweet texts, phone calls, etc. I saw him Sunday and we may or may not be able to see each other this week, but either way, he didn't give me a Christmas gift. I'm not totally freaked out because we haven't even had "the talk" yet (though I am pretty sure he's only seeing me) and it's only been 3 dates, but just curious..
By ladyinky | Nov 28 2014
Met a guy online. Due to the fact that he has kids and travels out of state for work and I'm kid free but also travel, it was a month before our first date. Had first date last Saturday. Went very well. He texted me the day after first date AND called me to chit chat as well. He continued to initiate contact on Tuesday and Wednesday as well.
Wednesday night he texted and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. The last words we said were:
Him: Are you hanging with your family right now? (He knew I traveled 5 hours back home)
Me: No, I am out with friends. Late dinner and drinks.
Him: Sweet, have fun! ;)
And that was it. I didn't reply any further because I was out with friends as I said.
I know for a fact that he had numerous family members over today and he also has his kids for the holiday.
I didn't hear a peep out of him all day. No text, no call, nada.
Trying to let it go, but this is only the 4 or 5th time in the 6 weeks that we have been talking that he hasn't spoken to me. Usually he texts or calls EVERY day.
By healingtheheart | Nov 01 2014
23 year old female here and single mother to an adorable 2 year old boy.
First time doing this. From the very time, since I've met this guy. I've obsessed with googling for answers and advice on what to do next and how to behave. I wanted to do all the right things to keep him around. I can say, at first it was working. It was exciting. But now I need to start finding some real answers of my own. Because I really like this guy. But the situation has become so complex. I've walked away from him. Hoping to still see him again soon.
We started of as casual sex friends.
Yes. We slept together the first time we met. I'm a very love at first sight kinda girl, I know what I want. I know what I like. I don't beat around the bush. And at the time I was 50/50 on the whole you sleep with him straight away, he'll disappear thing. Risky. I know. But I could tell those kinda guys from a mile off.
And it just felt right with him because he was older. And his fine as hell. It's been 2 years. Why not have a bit of fun? No strings, no commitment. Sounded like were I needed to be. Just let go and let flow.
I created an online profile 4 months ago. It was site for socializing. Making new friends. This guy caught my attention.
35 years old. Didn't really check his whole profile. Just saw the profile pic. Nice. Physically. My type. The age. Wow. Never ever engaged with a guy that age. But age is nothing but a number to me. And always found guys my age very young minded. Especially in the mother hood department. I was looking for mature friendships. We got talking for a couple of days. I wasn't taking the whole online thing serious just wanted to meet people out of my parenting life. He asked for my number. I gave it. Just like I'd given other people my number on the site.
We still continued talking online.
Then one day he asked to meet me. He called. And broke down his situation. He works 2 jobs. Lives with flatmates. And has 3 kids, by 3 different women.
An added equation. He was french. And his accent was so irresistible.
I don't judge. I did hesitate. Like wow 3 women? Will I be the 4th? But I'm very understanding, that it's not always the man's fault. I started looking up people with multiple women and kids. Seems the world is filled with it.
My son was at my mum's and she was dropping him early morning before work. So I had some free time. He came over. We talked. He explained the whole 3 women situation. (And what his told me on other times we've met.)
His son is 12, his daughter is 14 his youngest is 3 months(:-0) He loved and was married to one of the women. And with his youngest. It wasn't planned. And he wasn't in a relationship. His a great father to all his kids. And works hard to provide for them. I have seen this for myself. On one occasion he sent me a picture of his daughter at his place. He would tell me his sons upset with him for not buying him a game. I could just tell he was there for his kids by what he was saying and doing. This also made him a very busy man. Which eventually showed.
I respected it. He wasn't my boyfriend. It wasn't serious.
We met once/twice a week. Other times we texted or he called.
I kept calm. I played it cool. Because I did understand he had important responsibilities. So did I. Hence, why things between us couldn't be too serious.
He would often confide in me about his work problems and how important his work is. He'd tell me about his relationship with his mum. And how his had a hard life. He would come from work to see me. I would be on the phone to him that whole time. Even when he was dropping his daughter to her mum's.
One time I cooked for him and his flatmates.
I've been to his flat enough times to know I was the only girl he was seeing.
I never indulged in him to him. Although, I could feel myself slowly faking it. The more I saw him, the more I wanted.
He started helping me out with my music passion. Introducing me to his flatmate who had music connections. And wanting to be my manager. I couldn't get a sitter one day and he insisted on babysitting my son, while I did music with his flatmate. We were going to start a business. I was trying to look to the future and hold on to business and pleasure friendship we had.
Until one day I couldn't hold back anymore. I couldn't stand hearing him say, that his been honest with me and how he couldn't be what I wanted him to be. What he was saying and what he was doing didn't match up. He was giving very mixed signals. I told him to f off and I called him a biatch. Emotions started to take over.
I apologised for.the rude words. I didn't want anything too serious, just wanted to know he felt the same. And we were on to something.
I did take my son with me that day. Will never do something like that again tho. My son cried the whole time and didn't want anyone else but mummy.
I told him I wouldn't do that again and he didn't really help that much. But then again he couldn't because my son wouldn't let go of my leg. He said he accepted my situation and did wish he could do more things with me, but understands its difficult for me to get sitter sometimes.
This week I text him saying I have to walk away. Even from the music thing. I started to expect him to b there on a Tuesday evening. (We have spent the day together as well. He would ask me over during the day.) Or waiting for him to surprise me in some way.
I haven't seen him since a week ago. Since meeting him. I've never gone a week without seeing him. I've never gone a weekend without talking to him. But I had to walk away for my sanity. But Since I text him saying it's over. He never text back. No call. Nothing. We talked that day and he knew I had a sitter and was flexible. It's been a week and nothing.
I'm so confused, obsessed, hurt. I feel in denial.
By eddybird | Nov 01 2014
So, I've been talking to this guy I met on a dating site for a couple weeks. He works in my town but is not from here. So on his time off he goes back home. We did meet and hang out before he left for his days off and have been in communication since he has been gone. We have really great conversations and chemistry at least in my opinion. He hasn't given me a reason to not believe anything he tells me but I don't want to be nieve and be fooled. I have been through a lot of bad guys in the past so I find it hard to trust and my mind will get the best of me most times. I haven't had any negative wandering thoughts about him till recently and I don't know if it's just my past trying to trigger false feelings or if I should worry. So here is what has me thinking... He has 4 kids back home and gets all of them on his week off so he has his hands full. He told me up front he could talk during the day but after about 4 he would be unavailable because he would be playing super dad and kept a tight schedule. All week we have been on this schedule and it's been fine until my mind started to wonder. He would be MIA for me all weekend, I get it he has 4 kids to take care of but is it to much to ask or do that he send a short text here and there just to touch base? I can't help but think he may be hiding something or someone back home. Why the strict cut off after certain hours? Is it him being a good dad or a good liar?
By redqueen48 | Oct 25 2014
Let's call him John. He was my student (in two different subjects) while I was teaching in the university several years ago; I was in my mid-20s that time. In our 5-6pm class (Anthropology), he always volunteered to carry my books for me or whatever stuff I was carrying back to the faculty room, and sometimes he would stay behind to ask some questions about the lectures I gave. More than a year later, John and I went out with two other close student friends of mine (a guy and a girl). They were graduating that summer. The others said that John had something to tell me, but couldn't. From the way they teased him, I felt I knew what it was about. We went to a karaoke bar and had a few beers, but he still couldn't muster the courage to tell me. They slept over at my place, I cooked them breakfast and they were off. By that time, I had my son with me (from my ex-husband), and I already had a boyfriend who wasn't living with us. Fast forward, about three years later, we meet again... John, myself and the other guy student who was with us earlier; the girl couldn't make it coz she was working in another city. There was a festival that time and we ended up going to a number of bars. John was already married. I knew about this because a mutual friend of ours was in touch with us both and she told me. John only knew the girl for about a month when he got her pregnant. She was from Chicago though her parents were the same nationality as us. We are Southeast Asians. Anyway, so they had to get married. Actually, I met John one time when he was with that girl (not yet married) and I was pregnant with my daughter (with my boyfriend). We were living in the same neighborhood when he went back to the city I was living in for further studies (grad school). Anyway, back to that night of the festival, John's wife was in Chicago and he was still finishing his master's and supposed to migrate to the US that year in July. We were quite drunk and were dancing. The other guy left us to talk to some former schoolmates he saw, so it was just John and me. He started asking me about my relationship, how I was and the kids. By that time, I had already broken up with my daughter's father for more than four months. So I told him. Then he asked me if I knew he named his daughter after me. I was stupefied. We danced and talked and drank some more. We went to a hotel and did it. It was very intense... built up after years of waiting on his side. From there, i embarked on a full-fledged love affair "with an expiration date" I always said. My friends knew, and his friends knew. He was leaving in July and I told him I wanted a clean breakup in May. He reluctantly agreed. We were very happy. But in my mind I was tortured by guilt and the thought that ours would have a definite ending. By mid-May, I broke up with him. He still continued to text me... and call, though I usually did not answer. He gave me a gift he bought when he went to one famous island with his friends. I gave it back through his bestfriend, including the letter that came with it... not because I wanted to be mean and hurt him. I couldn't bring myself to destroy them or to throw them away; I couldn't keep them either. He stopped trying to contact me after that. Two days before his flight, at dawn, he came to my place and we made love. That was the last time we saw each other. Through the years, however, he kept in touch... through occasional emails (on AOL - but I had since stopped checking when I forgot my password), on Friendster (remember? before Facebook and Twitter?), and by phone where John would call or text me out of the blue, asking about my life, the kids, etc. Now, more than ten years after we last saw each other, John told me he is divorcing his wife. He has two kids like me. He told me he will come to see me here in Dubai (where I now work - been here for 8 years) on his way to our home country where his parents are. This year he had been fairly regular in his communication with me, and he confessed about three months ago how he regrets not waiting for me to be free. He said he wasted so many years waiting because he himself was not free in between. I love him. I loved him before, in those few months we were together. I had boyfriends in between. When he came back into my life early this year, I had been without a relationship for over a year. I believe my mind is clear, and I know I love him. But our journey will not be an easy one. He has his divorce and I have my annulment (from my ex-husband from whom I have been separated from for more than 12 years) to take care of. He will only be in Dubai for 25 hours. Then for another 8 hours on his way back from home to Chicago.
By ellie515 | Sep 16 2014
I have a friend who I've known since childhood, but just reconnected with six months ago. Our children are friends. We have been "hanging out" when our boys hang out. He is nice, and we get along.
Recently he's started sending me funny texts, like a picture with a funny saying, or am inappropriate picture with a funny saying. The other day I texted back and told him thanks for making me laugh. He texted back and said he's here for me.
Today he randomly sends a picture text again. We've never hung out without the boys, because I am still going through a divorce and not ready for anything.
He does call and ask to get the kids together, every two weeks or so.
By tris33 | Sep 04 2014
We met on tinder, his profile says looking for just friends.. now when we have hung out we were swimming and hes like I can't strip down naked yet, it's only our second date. and a few days ago we had a cuddle session and all night he said how much he liked me, he kissed me saying he had wanted to do that the day we met etc. OH and I met his best friend the second time we hung out (who happens to be the roomate of one of my coworkers, well my coworker messaged this guy and asked him if she could set her roommate up with me, he was like I dunno I'll ask her, but when he told me he said that's not happening, why would I set you up when I like you) I'm getting a I'm into you vibe and not just friends. He knows I don't do booty calls, I'm not up for one night stands so he hasn't overly tried. We text a lot of sex stuff, but a lot of it is funny stuff because we both have the same sense of humor. He sends me pics of him and his kids, so I know it's not just sex talk.
By victoriavalenti | Sep 03 2014
Met a nice "normal" guy on line. We chatted on the site for a few weeks and recently exchanged numbers. Last we we were texting frequently. Mainly at night while he was at work. Great rapport, as great as a texting rapport can be. This weekend he had his son and was busy yet still managed a hi and how are you. One thing I noticed is he stops texting mid conversation. It's infuriating!!!! Plus, he still hasn't asked me out yet.
By brazilianbabe | Aug 19 2014
By itsme | Aug 08 2014
I met him in the local bar, we just talked casually as I've known of him through friends there was nothing going on, a couple of days later he added me on snapchat, I accepted and he begun texting, for a couple of weeks there was nothing even remotely going on but then things started to progress, he started saying things and telling me he is attracted to me, the thing is I know he has a girlfriend and 2 children! I do like him but would hate to be known as a home wrecker! He texts me during the day whilst at work and then when his girlfriend goes to bed, I know this is not acceptable but don't know what to do.
By sageandonion | Jul 22 2014
Player or just denying his feelings!?? Head fuck
By debiiluk | Jul 20 2014
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months. He's 29 and I am 20. He is originally from Asia but has been living here a long time already. We are living 170 km apart from each other, he used to come to my place almost every weekend. I would've gone there but he lives with his mothers friends family because just before we started dating he moved there because of work and hasn't found an apartment yet.
He has a year old daughter from a one night stand. When he told me that, I was a little bit shocked but not angry. I have grown without a father and of course I don't want a baby to grow without a father. Luckily abandoning his child was never in his thoughts. I have never seen the child. Would want to. But.. the thing is, he has seen almost everyone from my life. My family, friends, neighbors. I haven't seen ANYONE from his life. Yes, we are very different - he is very closed person, I am very open.
Last Monday I called him up and said calmly that I will try to fix my behavior (about that later), if he will let me meet at least someone from his side because I felt that he was a big part of my life but I wasn't. He said it was good I told him that and that I am a big part of his life but if I feel I am not we should do something about it.
We have had many fights recently. I start crying very easily, he hates that. It's not my fault, I try not to cry in front of him but sometimes it's not possible to stop the tears.
There was one weekend recently when he could've come but didn't. He did not have any reason. He just didn't. I was disappointed. And sent him a message saying why I was disappointed. He answered me: "Look.. I thought all week about if I come or not. Before I did things with you because I wanted to. Now I do them out of fear that you will become sad. It's NOT a breakup. I'm just feeling you're choking me..."
I read the NOT a breakup part but I felt the breakup was coming. I was a mess the whole day. In the evening I drank some whiskey to calm down and called him. Explained. Said I just missed him. We talked things out.
Last weekend when he was here we had very great time. But we also talked. And I said to him that lately I've been feeling that he doesn't care about me anymore as much as he used to. And I told him that I completely understand if he wants to get out because as I've heard there's this 4-5 months period in the beginning of the relationship when people are in love. After that it usually either grows or fades.
He said he wanted to be with me and he hadn't noticed his behavior with me had changed in any way. I asked that suppose he wanted to end the relationship how would he tell me, would he tell me right away. He told me that of course he would, he's a grown man and will talk if he had something to say.
This weekend he had to go visiting her daughter. I was sad he wasn't spending at least one night here because I am going hitch hiking for couple of weeks and we're not seeing each other for at least a month.
But I understood.
We didn't talk this week almost at all. There are days when we don't talk. It's not that we are mad or something, we just don't feel the need to be in contact every day. But we do usually talk most of the days.
On friday night I tried to call him. He sent me a message saying he couldn't talk because he was with some people, talking.
He didn't call me the next day either. So I called him on the afternoon. He didn't pick up. Then I saw about 30 minutes later he had checked in a place that is in his town, not in the town his baby is. I tried to call again and started panicking a little, sent him a message asking was everything alright with us, had I done something wrong?
He called me an hour later saying everything was alright and he was just on a tour. I was freaked out. Asked why he didn't go to see his baby. He said he didn't want to this weekend. I asked why then he didn't come here. He probably said that he just wanted to be in his town this weekend. And I understand that he needs his alone time, he likes to be alone with his thoughts often. But the thing that I won't see him for a month.. If I was him, I would've come.
Anyway, so I told him calmly that if he is a boyfriend to me but I am just a thing to play when he is bored then it's not right and I don't wanna be in a relationship like this.
He got angry and said he will call me after the weekend, on Monday or Tuesday. I asked could we at least talk a little bit because we hadn't talked for a week. He said he didn't feel like talking, said bye and ended the call.
I got a very serious panic attack. I cried, I had to move all the time, I had all these crazy thoughts, I bit myself, I sweated very much. My mother was very worried about me and said she was afraid to leave me home alone.
After two-three hours I calmed down. Why I freaked out? Because I was sure this is the end of it and I had to wait till Monday or Tuesday for him to really say it. I prefer ripping the bandage off right away so I could start the healing process as soon as possible. So I was in panic because I knew I had to wait.
At any point I wouldn't have called him or contacted him any way. I am not a begger type. If he wants to go.. begging and crying in front of him would just make sure he would leave.
I went to the centrum with my friends, got really wasted (I know, not the smartest thing to do but I just needed that). I saw from 4square that he was in a bar, too. And he drinks very rarely. So I guess he wasn't happy either.
We haven't had any contact, I decided I will leave already tomorrow because I just can't be here and wait the words "It's over, sorry".
By cherry235 | May 24 2014
My boyfriend and I recently broke up. But I can't broke up with his 4 year old son.
By kerryc3 | May 18 2014
(Him)I'm never as busy as u. ;-)
(Me) oh you mean work? You will be Im sure! Enjoy it now!
(Him) Not busy now either. Just watching an animated movie with my son.