By kep1187 | Dec 22 2015
So this guy and I dated for a little over a month. It was very intense, we connected instantly and the chemistry was off the charts. Neither of us have experienced anything like what we did. His words and actions when we were together gave every indication that things were progressing toward "official" status, but I wanted to take it slow and so did he. I was totally following his lead on this in terms of relationship progression, because he was my first date that went anywhere since my divorce and though I am totally open to the idea of a relationship I am not necessarily pursuing one, just meeting new men and seeing where things go. It really felt like it could actually eventually "go" somewhere with this guy.
As you can imagine, despite my initial reluctance I developed feelings for him, and he seemed to for me as well. Then, out of the blue, he revealed himself as a textbook emotionally unavailable man, hitting the brakes right when things got the most intimate and he seemed to be indicating he wanted to look at things moving up. We had a very intense and warm weekend, and then the warm texts and conversation went to a bare minimum and he then went AWOL on some plans we had. We suddenly were "no longer on the same page" although literally nothing had changed and needed to talk.
The talk went down like this: he said that he was really struggling with some personal stuff (career questioning, quarter life crisis existentialist stuff, confusion over the future and what he wants, busy with health issues, had alot of family concerns and plans that couldn't include me coming up) and just couldn't do a relationship at the moment both because of these problems and because he flat out doesn't know what he wants. I asked him bluntly if it was that he wasn't sure if he just didn't want a relationship or didn't want one with ME, and he said both. That I'm not the kind of girl you just screw around with but he doesn't know if he is ready for that, that he shouldn't be dating anyone right now, that he just wasn't sure what finding "the one" feels like. That things were so intense and felt so right when we were together, but then when we were separate and realities set in he came back down to earth and felt frightened and uncertain. That because he doesn't know if he's ready he doesn't want to do what he did with his ex and fake certainty and move forward, creating resentment and ruining what could be awesome between us.
He said that he wanted to keep me in his life though, because he loved being around me and felt for me and thought things might change. BUT--he couldn't define a boundary for us going forward, he said he didn't want to friend zone me but could neither continue doing as we were nor progress into a relationship for now. We agreed that we could see each other when he could for a while, but it would be very casual. He apologized for being so vague on everything, but that was all he could give me right now because he had no clarity on anything himself. After a very emotionally up and down night, I called him the next day to tell him that that wouldn't work for me because I deserved more or at least some boundaries to work with while he figured things out. I said that this immature, undefined limbo thing would be confusing for both of us and set us up for lots of hurt and resentment and potential for misunderstanding. I told him that if he was really being honest about just needing some space for a while then in all honesty I did too, and that it was best if we didn't see each other at all. Cold turkey. He sounded very sad but agreed, and asked if he could still call me a bit down the road when he got things figured out. I said yeah, maybe, if we both got our heads screwed on straight and decided our heats went that way. We said goodbye. In a moment of weakness after a bad date later I texted him one more time, saying that not seeing each was for the best but still really sucked, huh? He never responded.
I have been struggling to move on. It is so stupid, it was a freaking MONTH and a half and the emotionally unavailable red flags and classic mixed signals were there from the get-go but I didn't recognize them as such. He was very immature, has no idea how relationships let alone love work in reality and so is clearly not ready, and has self-esteem issues. There is no reason I should even want him back but I miss him like crazy. Something about him got under my skin and I can't shake hoping deep down that he'll come back someday. I am no naive fool or lovestruck teenager, I know there is a good chance he was just actually no longer interested or playing me all along and was letting me down easy, and that even if he was being sincere there is still a good chance he will never call. In the spirit of knowing I need to act to get over him, not get him back, to protect myself, I deleted him entirely form my phone after that moment of weakness text and unfriended him on Facebook to remove the temptation of checking up on him.
By whyislifeastruggle | Apr 24 2015
There was this guy I liked and he liked me back he was gonna ask me out because his friend told me about it and I was like oh ok good to know he finally never did two months after I told him I liked him he said he didn't like me anymore and that would still be friends but I still had feelings for him and I still do……I don't knew how to get over him or if I should stay friends with him because I kik sometimes not all the time but I texted him today after we talked about a week ago and he hasn't read or responded it and I only said hey should I just forget him and move on, how do I? What do I do?
By queen_303 | Apr 23 2015
When I signed up for tinder I didn't take it seriously at all. I just wanted a confidence boost, free food, and possibly a new FWB. Then I matched with R whom I still didn't take seriously... But after 3 dates I found myself in a whole new mindset. Before I knew it we were texting all day long and seeing each other as much as possible. On our first date we both made it clear we were just looking for something "fun" but obviously things have changed. I would just wait it out but yesterday he sent me a cryptic message. It said "I'm deleting my tinder. I want to move on with my life." And I replied "I kinda want to delete mine too..." And his answer totally threw me off... "But you're single. It's fun..." Huh? What? What the heck does that mean? So then we just kinda moved on and didn't talk about it again. Then today he brought it up again. Except this time he brought up the fact that his BFF is bringing a group of girls with them on their vegas trip. I made it obvious that I didn't care to know that and then he says "well you have a tinder babe" when I replied saying he's the one who told me to keep it, he says "I knew you would blame me " What is with this guy? Is he just playing games? Should I just move on?
By vielola | Apr 22 2015
Should I stay in touch or not respond at all?
By immaunicorn | Apr 14 2015
Is he ignoring me now because I gave it up too easily?
By lovee_2_2 | Apr 14 2015
My ex boyfriend of 1 year+ broke up with me 7 weeks ago. We kept in touch right after we broke up. Mostly texting, one phone call from him and met a few times. 6 days ago I sent him silly casual message about my new shower gel (he also sent me text about nothing to me too). However, since then I got no response of that text and didn't hear from him again, only one like from him on facebook.
By anonymous_3 | Mar 27 2015
Why don't you text ur boyfriend
By j9chi | Mar 18 2015
I started dating a guy two months ago. He travels a lot for work. Initially we texted a lot. Then it died down to every few days. I was ready to move on (thinking I had been ghosted) when he sent me a text on a Sunday asking me out for Friday. I responded, but didn't really hear info on plans until 4:45pm the night of the date. We went out, I spent the night and when I left he started making promises about hoping to see me sooner. We were texting every few days again when he said something came up and he had to fly home soon to see his mom, and that he'd let me know ASAP when we could make plans for another date. I texted a couple of times during the week just to see how he was doing, but didn't really get much of a response. I started to write him off again when he texted that he was just leaving to go visit his mom (I seem to always get texts when he's leaving for another trip). Is this a "slow fade" and should I just move on?
By kayajackson | Mar 09 2015
Why doesn't he text me first anymore? I just feel like im bothering him. Should i cont. to text him?
By cdf | Mar 04 2015
Do you fight for a girl or do you just let her go?
By cfriarsp | Feb 25 2015
How do i deal with a situation like this?
By kathryn4 | Feb 09 2015
So I've been dating this guy for the past 6 months or so. The first couple of months were pretty casual, however, he did get me a Christmas gift and we spent NYE together. A few weeks ago we were out at a bar and he introduced me to one of his friends by saying "this is my girlfriend Kate". This was the first time he's referred to me as his "girlfriend".
Anyways....the past week or so he's been somewhat distant. He DID say he wants to spend Valentines day weekend together but I'm not sure how serious he really is about that. I texted him earlier today asking how his night was but so far I haven't heard back.
I'm probably over analyzing this but i can't help but wonder if he has second thoughts about the 2 of us/avoiding me on purpose etc. I hate the fact that I'm even thinking this much into it but I guess I can't help it. Should I just wait this out or move on?
By laya0201 | Feb 05 2015
Should I wait.
By perplexed31 | Feb 01 2015
He is ill and feels it's better we don't talk. This, when he barely maintained any contact over a month when we were both travelling.
By jessicamerisca | Jan 13 2015
He texts me everyday saying good morning have a nice day and all but are convo sucks lol well his for the fact I always ask him questions and he never ask me questions when I ask him a question he always say how about you ... I want a relationship but I'm not sure he wants that too he says Its hard to find honest females now a days so I don't know what that suppose to be for me we only text I ask him if I can call him he said yeah we only spoke on the phone onces we was suppose to yesterday but he so called feel asleep we haven't hung out yet I don't know what to do and I don't want to waste my time
By nikki17 | Jan 12 2015
So i stepped up and started a convo first with this guy that i jus met about 2 weeks ago. I would respond right away to his texts but he would reply in an hour or more. I dont know if he is busy because we literally just started talking and just getting to know one another or i dont know if he is uninterested so i can move on :( the worst part is that i think i am falling for this guy.