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He says that I inspire him to achieve more and we've both talked...

By jessicamarieroberts | Apr 03 2015

There's a guy who seems to really like me but isn't ready for a relationship.

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So I met a guy on POF a week before Christmas, we've been texting on & off up until late Saturday 1/3 eve. We went on a date, on Friday 1/2 due to a text he sent: "So is it because I'm not a big texter and you've misconstrued my actual interest that you've withdrawn? Look I know you have many men chomping at the bit for a date with you but Ill be honest, our text conversations haven't been exactly punctual with replies. :/ I've also learned to not take anyone seriously on POF. Not one person has kept their word lol. I think Its kind of a rip off if you're paying for it like I did. Anyway, I like the fact that you're so artistically inclined and even if nothing romantic develops, good friends are hard to come by. Hopefully at least that can develop. Cheers. :)"

We had an amazing date, he was attentive, flirty & responsive to my flirting. Tried to kiss me a few times & I agreed at the end of the date. It was amazing & he seemed to be delighted by our chemistry, very giddy even. He looked at me with a smoldering look, held my face in his hand & said "You're the first girl I've met off POF... hopefully the last. .." and kissed me extra sweet and passionately! He practically begged me to call him when I got home, I agreed. The texts are in the screenshot.

After the next afternoon, he texted me a few times & then dropped off the face of the planet. I texted him a couple times, trying to clarify my interest. Then Monday, 1/5... I remembered he wanted me to find him on FB. So I did & he had a post that his phone broke! So I sent him a friend request & he accepted a few hrs later. A quick message to him saying "Hi" & he replied "Yeah, my shit broke. Lol" I stated that sucked & asked what he's doing. He said he's good & getting artwork done for some tattoos (he runs a shop). I asked him if he wanted to meet up again. He's been online since, hasn't read my msg or replied. Today is 1/7

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I came out of a pretty toxic relationship finally in October after asking my ex to move out for about 8 months - we were together for about 14 months in total and he'd always tell me I was too fat (I run marathons and am a UK 14 so curvy and comfortable in my body) I then found he'd set up a profile on a dervish website looking to meet women who he could choke during sex and be his submissives. He even went on a date whilst he told me he was working so couldn't move his stuff out! Anyway he's out, gone and I finally feel happy and more like myself. I'm in my mid 30s and prior to this horrible guy was married and with another guy for 12 years - we're now divorced as he got depressed, became an alcoholic and totally gave up on life and refused to work. We're amicable, just finalising final financial separation details.

I started chatting to a guy on Tinder (I'd initially seen his profile and thought he looked lovely months previous when I'd been checking out if horrible boyfriend was on the dating site again whilst we were together.... But obviously did nothing as I was still living with my ex despite trying to get him to move out) and we met at the start of November- I remember not even wanting to go out for drinks in the end.

We had two lovely dates where we chatted and enjoyed our time together, but he didn't make a move. Our 3rd date at the end of November however was amazing and we started early (he had the day off and suggested I take the afternoon off to to start early which I did!) we got drunk and I asked him why he was single - he'd been with his ex 10 years, they got married around last September and within 3 months he'd found out that she'd been sleeping with her boss even before they got married. This time last year they were away on honeymoon and he was just finding things out! He moved out in January and they're now divorced.

I asked why he'd not tried to make a move and he said he was shy as he's never really dated before (much like me after I'd split from my husband) so then the drink took over and we spent the rest of the evening kissing like teenagers.

I stayed over at his and he was lovely the next morning making breakfast including fresh orange and getting me a warm towel for a shower. Since then we've met up about 7 times and he took a day off work so we could have a day trip together. We've cooked each other dinner, hevinvited me to a work function (I already had other plans) and told me that he'd mentioned me to his Mum.

I've not seen him now since the Sunday before Christmas and his messages started getting a bit colder than they had been. I left him to it on The 26th, but after nearly 2 days if silence I messaged him and after a few back and forth he told me that Christmas had been really tough and made him wobble as he'd found the change to routine without his ex really difficult and that he felt things between us had happened really quickly. He wants to talk when we're both back home again as he's "not sure he's ready for a full on relationship whatever that means" as it's the first relationship he's had in 10 years and feels as though he should be taking it "very seriously" and doesn't want to "end up being a dick about things because he's not ready"

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So over the summer I created a tinder profile and matched with this incredibly handsome guy with similar interests. We started talking, but we had a moment of miscommunication and he sped off and deleted me everywhere. The worst part is, the issue for him was that I sent him an erotic picture and he wasn't looking for a girl who would do that so soon. Made me feel absolutely dumb because I would prefer not to, but from past experiences I thought that's what guys wanted. Anyways, I moved on. Last month he added me on Facebook and then sent me a message asking how I'm doing and to put the past behind us. HONESTLY, I didn't even remember why we stopped talking so I just went with it. We were texting back and forth for a month and finally went on a first date last night. He is extremely traditional, and also possibly the most gorgeous man I've ever been able to have a deep conversation with. The date was going well, we were being playful, he told me how pretty I am, and that he thinks I'm a really nice and sweet girl, he kept emphasizing this over and over. The thing is when we started talking he went off on this tangent about how he doesn't need a girl because he has a family, and that we both will find someone and not to take it seriously if we don't (we are both Italian and it came from discussing the pressures our families put on us to get married.) He made me feel self conscious because he kept saying "we will find someone" and when he saw my face when he said that he made it clear that he isn't saying we can't be that someone for each other. It was still rather strange to me. He was playfully touching me and giving me soft punches on the arm during our date, so it felt like he was really interested. When he was driving me home he went on another tangent about how his ex is blowing him up and he wants nothing to do with her anymore, but he kept talking about it, which led me to believe he still had feelings even though they broke up 3 years ago. I thought maybe he was informing me what he wants from a girl, I felt like that's what he was doing the entire time. He drove from Brooklyn to New Jersey to hang out with me, and he drove to the restaurant, naturally I felt bad and emphasized this to him and he snapped and said "never drive to a guy!" After that I asked if he wanted to go to another bar and he said he doesn't want to drink and drive which I completely agreed with. He also mentioned to me that he has never dated a girl that likes the same music as him, and talking about hanging out in the future. He also mentioned that he wasn't sure what I thought of him, and I told him I thought he was great and he didn't respond with anything. He dropped me off and went in for a kiss on the cheek, and I asked him to text me when he got home, which he did.

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Met a guy on POF back in the summer and we lost touch. We reconnected and he was so excited, telling me how glad he was that he found me again, etc. etc. This lead to a couple weeks of many, many flirty texts, long phone calls, initiated by him a bulk of the time, and some really intense deep conversation getting to know each other. We agreed to meet and leading up to the date, there was a lot of mutual excitement expressed on both sides, him even saying on a couple times how he doesn’t want to scare me off and how much he likes how this is going etc. All and all, I felt I found a genuinely good guy that had a lot of potential. Date night was Saturday night and he took me on a fantastic date, dinner, comedy club. There were a couple passionate little kissing sessions after dinner, and then some fooling around at his place (He said no to the sex, not that I offered, but just the he did not want to move too fast with this with me). I left and sent him a message after I got home telling him I had a great time, and he responded likewise. I did tease him (Screenshot) a little but then he went a little dark. He knew that I was going to be busy Sunday and so I did not make a huge deal out of reaching out to him or vice versa. I also wanted to let a little dust settle from our date to allow some breathing space

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What do I do with this guy...

By healingtheheart | Nov 01 2014

Hey,

23 year old female here and single mother to an adorable 2 year old boy.

First time doing this. From the very time, since I've met this guy. I've obsessed with googling for answers and advice on what to do next and how to behave. I wanted to do all the right things to keep him around. I can say, at first it was working. It was exciting. But now I need to start finding some real answers of my own. Because I really like this guy. But the situation has become so complex. I've walked away from him. Hoping to still see him again soon.

We started of as casual sex friends.
Yes. We slept together the first time we met. I'm a very love at first sight kinda girl, I know what I want. I know what I like. I don't beat around the bush. And at the time I was 50/50 on the whole you sleep with him straight away, he'll disappear thing. Risky. I know. But I could tell those kinda guys from a mile off.
And it just felt right with him because he was older. And his fine as hell. It's been 2 years. Why not have a bit of fun? No strings, no commitment. Sounded like were I needed to be. Just let go and let flow.

I created an online profile 4 months ago. It was site for socializing. Making new friends. This guy caught my attention.
35 years old. Didn't really check his whole profile. Just saw the profile pic. Nice. Physically. My type. The age. Wow. Never ever engaged with a guy that age. But age is nothing but a number to me. And always found guys my age very young minded. Especially in the mother hood department. I was looking for mature friendships. We got talking for a couple of days. I wasn't taking the whole online thing serious just wanted to meet people out of my parenting life. He asked for my number. I gave it. Just like I'd given other people my number on the site.
We still continued talking online.
Then one day he asked to meet me. He called. And broke down his situation. He works 2 jobs. Lives with flatmates. And has 3 kids, by 3 different women.
Whow.
An added equation. He was french. And his accent was so irresistible.
I don't judge. I did hesitate. Like wow 3 women? Will I be the 4th? But I'm very understanding, that it's not always the man's fault. I started looking up people with multiple women and kids. Seems the world is filled with it.
My son was at my mum's and she was dropping him early morning before work. So I had some free time. He came over. We talked. He explained the whole 3 women situation. (And what his told me on other times we've met.)
His son is 12, his daughter is 14 his youngest is 3 months(:-0) He loved and was married to one of the women. And with his youngest. It wasn't planned. And he wasn't in a relationship. His a great father to all his kids. And works hard to provide for them. I have seen this for myself. On one occasion he sent me a picture of his daughter at his place. He would tell me his sons upset with him for not buying him a game. I could just tell he was there for his kids by what he was saying and doing. This also made him a very busy man. Which eventually showed.
I respected it. He wasn't my boyfriend. It wasn't serious.
We met once/twice a week. Other times we texted or he called.
I kept calm. I played it cool. Because I did understand he had important responsibilities. So did I. Hence, why things between us couldn't be too serious.
He would often confide in me about his work problems and how important his work is. He'd tell me about his relationship with his mum. And how his had a hard life. He would come from work to see me. I would be on the phone to him that whole time. Even when he was dropping his daughter to her mum's.
One time I cooked for him and his flatmates.
I've been to his flat enough times to know I was the only girl he was seeing.
I never indulged in him to him. Although, I could feel myself slowly faking it. The more I saw him, the more I wanted.

He started helping me out with my music passion. Introducing me to his flatmate who had music connections. And wanting to be my manager. I couldn't get a sitter one day and he insisted on babysitting my son, while I did music with his flatmate. We were going to start a business. I was trying to look to the future and hold on to business and pleasure friendship we had.

Until one day I couldn't hold back anymore. I couldn't stand hearing him say, that his been honest with me and how he couldn't be what I wanted him to be. What he was saying and what he was doing didn't match up. He was giving very mixed signals. I told him to f off and I called him a biatch. Emotions started to take over.

I apologised for.the rude words. I didn't want anything too serious, just wanted to know he felt the same. And we were on to something.
I did take my son with me that day. Will never do something like that again tho. My son cried the whole time and didn't want anyone else but mummy.
I told him I wouldn't do that again and he didn't really help that much. But then again he couldn't because my son wouldn't let go of my leg. He said he accepted my situation and did wish he could do more things with me, but understands its difficult for me to get sitter sometimes.

This week I text him saying I have to walk away. Even from the music thing. I started to expect him to b there on a Tuesday evening. (We have spent the day together as well. He would ask me over during the day.) Or waiting for him to surprise me in some way.

I haven't seen him since a week ago. Since meeting him. I've never gone a week without seeing him. I've never gone a weekend without talking to him. But I had to walk away for my sanity. But Since I text him saying it's over. He never text back. No call. Nothing. We talked that day and he knew I had a sitter and was flexible. It's been a week and nothing.
I'm so confused, obsessed, hurt. I feel in denial.

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Is he going to pop the question soon...

By nikki24 | Oct 21 2014

we live together he's been looking at rings and houses and he says we will get married next year but he hasn't asked me to marry him yet so.....

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Got reconnected with a HS. Friend from my home town. We hungout few time when ever I was in town. We are both married. After 3 years it's turn into a emotional affair. Now leading into our 5 th year it's become a full hot and steamy affair. Gradually we are becoming less interested in our marriages as our kid are leaving the nest. He says he will wait for me if I decided to leave my husband. Problem is I only see him when I can go to my home town. He has never come to visit me I know it is harder for him to get away and he always offers to pay for me to see him . When I am home. He spends every available min with me and we even have done some local getaway .

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Married 20 years. Even though there has been a host of unmet physical and emotional needs, the business of raising a family has kept it at bay. Never thought about anything but that until last two months. As a joke-logged on somewhere-talked to one person immediately-and have ever since. Have texted and exchanged many pictures-talked on the phone-not met in person yet. He is in a similar situation with partner who refuses to work on the relationship. I say refuses because we have discussed our efforts to talk about the problems with our respective spouses and the lack of willingness from them to do so. We both share a belief in everything happens for a reason so we are both wondering where this will go or if it in fact will just remain a friendship. Through long conversations we are very compatible. Neither one pushes the other to go further.

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I'm 25. My ex co-worker is 40. A few years ago at my old job we switched office locations. I ended up sitting literally right in front of him all day long -- our desks faced each other. Everyone in my office Skypes, in fact, when you're a new employee the boss tells you to add everyone on your Skype. We started talking more on Skype. Eventually we ended up talking after office hours on Skype. He did a lot of freelance work, so he would be online in the evenings. I have a lot of long distance friends, so I just happened to be online as well. Eventually it turned into texting. It all seems very harmless. We never discuss questionable topics. Nothing sexual or flirty. It's always jokes, links to interesting articles, discussions about movies, what his wife and kids are doing. (Slumber parties, recitals, Halloween decorating, etc.) I probably talk to him just as much if not more than I talk to my best girlfriend. At this point, we know a lot about each other and have a lot in common.

About two months ago I switched jobs.

He still texts me every day and we talk on Facebook all the time. Plus, we've scheduled a lunch for next week.

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Hi, i just got to know a guy for few days, hes separated n just broke off from his ex. he simply keep pushing me to marry him n said he will come n meet me. after while i accepted n said yes cuz i find him n honest n disciplined person. i have asked him favour to help me experiment self development practice for 40days, n he dedicatedly committed to me daily, even though we had serious fights n refused to talk him but he will complete his part n msg me n after he will talk to me as per normal but kept saying i hurt him a lot, etc. I notice after i say YES, to him, he said he cant come cuz hes financially down n his separation status is a problem n never talk about marriage anymore but daily he sent me text....

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I have known this guy for a long time..we used to work at the same place. We were both in relationships and ended up hooking up several times. Eventually I moved away and stopped contacting him. Several years later I am working at the same location we worked at years before. He no longer works there but comes I'm as a regular customer. We are still bot him the same relationships as we were before and again start hooking up. I broke with my bf and he and his wife separated because she was with someone else and no longer wanted to be with him. We continued spending time together. Neither of us told one another where are feeling were with each other. I know he had no idea that I really liked him. He eventually started seeing someone else. He and I still talked but he was faithful to her. He eventually told her about us and she forbid him to speak to me ever again. So we had not spoke for five years. I am friends with his sister and she wants us to be together. So in these five years she occasionally mentions me to him and tells him we should talk. Him and his gf are on and off and in her opinion are not compatable. Him and his gf broke up 10 months ago. So he tells his sister to give me his number. I also broke up with my bf 12 months ago...although he sticks around trying to reconcile a lost relationship. He and his ex are also together occasionally. We text everyday and nite. It goes from friendly to flirty to sexual conversation. I feel that if both of us can shake the ones we are with we could be together. Yesterday he texted me and said this is the first chance I got, I am sorry. She showed up and I can't talk. I am sorry it was a surprise to me. And I said will u text me when she's gone and he said of course. He text his sister and said tell her I am sorry but she will flip out if she sees (my) name on his phone.

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Alright... So LONG story short. I met this guy last summer at a coffee shop. First time I met him I was with a guy friend and didn't really try to do anything. Few months later I ran into him again at the coffee shop and I pursued him... He was super cute and I felt ballsy and asked for his number at the end bc we were having fun teasing and talking. He wrote his number down and gave a witty remark and we bid farewell... the next day we texted and he teased me about how he waited too long. We said we'd get coffee.. but we both had a busy schedule and he was out of town. I agreed to coffee and throughout that week he sent me a photo or two of his trip. I didn't end up seeing him for a few months because I had so much going on and a lot of stress and it was taking a toll on my skin -_- I remember him saying how i was such an elusive lady because we haven't run into eachother yet etc etc

One night I decided to hit the coffee shop and low nad behold he was sitting there working as usual.. I walked up from behind and surprised him. He was all smiles and gave me a hug which took me by surprise... we talekd for 40 min.. just standing there.

He never broke eye contact and it was laughing at every ridiculous thing I was saying. We joked a bit and then decided it was time we both went back to work. He said he'd come to my table once he finished. After an hour or so i looked up and he was sitting across me..
He asked me to go out for drinks sometime and I agreed. I didn't get up to hug him..because it just felt more comfortable for me sitting there and having him leave.
and hour after he left he sent me a text saying how serious he was about seeing me and getting a drink atleast.

I agreed.

But he was leaving for a trip overseas for 3 months. Our timings kept clashing and we didn't end up meeting. He kept making plans but not sticking to them because he was in and out of town etc. The last day he was in town he said he had to see me atleast once before leaving the country... we planned to meet that morning and I ended up finishing my meeting early because I knew he was leaving early but then he texted me how he didn't think he could meet because he was still packing..and that he could meet past 1 pm I said okay and that I could still meet.. he didn't respond until 30 min later with a sad face stating how he's already on the high way.

I was annoyed to say the least.

New years came and we exchanged soem deep texts in regards to his life etc.. it was refreshing to have aguy be open like that. Btw he constantly refers to me as beautiful human being etc etc
He also kept commenting on my photos on facebook which btw when I added him he teased me saying "it's about time we made it fb offish!!"
Anyhow, he constantly complimented my photos and would send me texts saying I need to stop haha It was really nice getting compliments like that from a guy I was for the first time attracted to.

He texted me a a week or two before leaving the country asking me if I'd go with him on a shady restaurant date and drinks if i'm not married with kids by the time he comes nback...

I felt annoyed still bc of his track record of being a flake and jokingly said that the chances of me being octamom and married is highly likely but i guess we'll just have to see when he comes back ;)

I think I hurt his ego? oh well.

Anyhow, throughout his trip he'd make comments on my photos like on valentinesday I posted a funny photo about death and being single are enivetiblbe for me (it rwas a fun quiz) and he posted a comment stating how he's chasing me..

Anyhow this cat and mouse thing went on ...
he's made jokes about how's in love with me etc or "if I wasn't inlove already I def am now" on a art work I had done..

When he finally made it to the states I decided to send him a message via social media saying how the coffee shop missed him.. he laughed and cracked a joke and said we needed to have a playdate.. I agreed and that the was the end of that convo..

after that I made the effort of texting him a photo that was something of his (he's an artist and I saw his work at a random coffee shop so i took a photo and sent it to him) he responded with surprise and glee and sent me a video of himself being silly.

Ever since then he's been very on and off.. it's liek a cat and mouse chase...whenver I put in effort he doesn't seem to really put in the same amount when I don't care he comments things like "Dibs" on my photos etc I don't respond.. but finally I posted on a photo of his saying "dibs" and he responded with "done" later one that week he texted me saying "lets elope" after we exchanged some funny snapchats to one another. I responded with a witty remark and that was that.. his response wasn't anything to really say much else to after that.. Earlier in july he sent me a text basically asking me in advance if I would "get coffee, or drinks or kiss in the rain" when he's in town for the day... it was a semi long text and it was cute not gonna lie the kiss int he rain took me by complete surprise O.o I responded with a casanova joke and agreed. Ever since then it has been a cat and mouse chase (it's been feeling like that from the beginnign though)

Saturday I saw a photo in regards to how crazy things are happening with family and friends and how a prayer can go far so I felt all nice and careless and sent him a text with a fun intro then ending it with a hey i saw your post and you have my prayers--hope things are okay.
He hasn't responded since -_-

My guyfriend thinks he's just intimidated by me so he's playing hard to gget.. i'm frankly annoyed. Another friend thinks I haven't shown him romantic interest.. I mean granted I don't comment how in love I am etc or how attractive he is.. but I still make enough effort and have agreed to hangouts to where he should KNOW i'm interested.

He's going to colorado in three weeks..for a bit for some free-lance stuff.. so I can't play the hard to get i'm not going on this date with you etc I WANT to see him and see how it goes.

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Do you think this means they had a physical affair ...

By sallytaylor | May 28 2014

Found this on my husband's phone. She is on the left, he is on the right. She is a colleague who knows he is married. I confronted him about it and he refuses to discuss with me. Won't acknowledge anything at all.

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do I keep holding on or attempt to find something new...

By toxxicsimplicity | May 21 2014

met this guy in highschool 6years ago. we've always had an on-off thing (id date someone he'd date someone but if we were single we'd date eachother) there has ALWAYS been intense attraction and something keeps pulling us back together although we have never had sex, kissed, or even held hands. the problem: after highschool I got adventurous and moved to Colorado for some guy and I was married for two years. when the divorce came up he helped me through it all and said his feelings for me were no different. a son came out of the marriage and my highschool sweetheart and I had talked about being together FINALLY. I asked how he would feel about a child being around and he said "I will have to get used to it because its a new experience. I don't know how I would handle it but that all comes in time" ...now he has a girlfriend with a daughter whom he posts pics of with all the time, always smiling and whatnot, so of course I was a little upset. what hurts worse is that even when he is around her he will text me "hey baby" and "I miss and love you" I asked him if he ever loved her and he said neither of them had those feelings for eachother...so why be with her? I told him it was now or never, its been six years now.

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Dallas and I have known each other since 2006. We had mutual friends and we were all always hanging out together. At that time we were both married to other people. We were just friends, but I was in love with him. We never cheated on our spouses or even spoke of liking each other. I felt like I love him but I never voiced it. I also felt like he had feelings for me or was at least interested because of eye contact and body language and the way he showed concern for anything that affected me negatively. Soon, he told us all that his marriage was over and he was moving away for a better job. After he left, my husband left me. I had never forgotten him so I called him to see how he was doing. We were three hours away from each other and he was very busy with his new job. We were both still recovering from our broken marriages. Time passed and our calls became farther apart. A year later I found out that he had married someone from his new town. I was crushed. I still had very strong feelings for him. A few years passed and I found out that his other marriage had ended due to his wife cheating and I decided that was my chance so I called him. We have been talking every since. No every single day but if it takes him a while to reply or call me back he apologizes. When we do talk on the phone it lasts up to five hours at a time. Neither of us has confessed feelings for each other yet. I'm trying to figure out if he just sees me as a friend. The posted texts are right after our four hour telephone conversation last night.

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