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Relationship

I've gone on dates with a guy recently, and we kissed yesterday...

By libbythomas | Apr 15 2016

Am I using him, or making the most of an opportunity?

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He said he'd wait 2 years and if were still both single then he said i know whats going to happen.. but I'm confused. No, so before everything happened, his bestfriend is the girl he likes, he stopped courting her because she still can't date so theyre best friends for now, he said they have mutual feelings for each other. So he texted me and we talked and talked, and the next day he told me that a close friend of ours told him that i like him and he asked me if it was true. So i didnt deny it neither did i say it was true. So he said why do you think that even if you like me it wont change a thing because its unrequited? You never know..i told you to just trust. That's why I'm starting to question why he said that if he had someone he likes. So when i was in their plaza he asked me where i was and said he'd go. So he did and we talked for hours. And he texted my friend if she could go with him on the day that im leaving. So she said she cant so he went alone instead. He got there in the morning, he didnt talk at all and he was shy he was fiddling with his bag and we talked and he left an hour later and 5 mins later he called. He said he wanted to say the things he couldnt he said i love u and things and hours later i got a text asking where he was he was missing so the next day i just heard that he came home at 9 got in big trouble because he was at his best friend's house the whole time. He went to her house again that day again.

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I'm not very active on the online dating scene but I met a guy on cougarlife.com and we hit it off right away. In fact, we were both totally caught off guard by how well we were getting along with similar interests, cultural background and personality traits. We met up within 2 days of connecting online. I was inititally hesitant since being a full-figured woman doesn't always translate into a successful first meeting. I made sure he knew what I looked like before we met so we shared pics (full length ones!) before meeting. Things went great on our 1st meeting and clearly we had a strong connection. He said multiple times that this is just casual, all fun and games...nothing serious etc. and I told him multiple times that I was on the same page! We had an intense makeout session before parting ways for the night. Later that night, we had a long sexually charged conversation and the same the next night. I suggested twice that he come over to my place so we can "hang out" . They were last minute but I felt that's the idea behind this...it's not a proper full-on dating -leading-to-commitment relationship.I knew what I wanted so a couple of days after this, I told him let's meet and have some ground rules for our little fling. Honestly, I was anxious to get things going or not...so we didn't waste our time....And here's the response I got:
" lol thats a long ass message. I felt bad after how we talked the first time we met. I might have gotten a bit drunk to say that stuff. Dont think Im a player :p I dont sleep around with a lot of women. Only some id actually click with . However I do find you a nice person. And I would lole to see you again. As for sex, lets not get into that for now. If it happens later, it happens.
hope you understand. And sorry if you feel I led you on. "

I responded to this saying glad we sorted this out now. He responded saying:
" yes. But dont take it the wrong way. Im not ignoring u or its not that i dont wanna see you at all. It would be nice to see you whenever we can."

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Should I wait.

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I was working in a distant city this summer where I met a guy. The rest of the summer we spent alot of time together, at the end we were furniture shopping for his new apartment that I visited everyday. I thought it just started as hooking up with a summer fling. Before I went back home, I told him that even though I thought this was just a hookup I had feelings for him now. He told me he never saw me as just a hookup but because I lived 12 hrs away theres no point. After I left we kept in touch (text and snapchat) even it seemed more from my side. Then two months later I went back to his city. I lied to him and said that I was there a day earlier (I know I shouldn't have but I didn't want to seem so despo to see him). He got really mad that I didn't see him as soon as I got to the city and only spent one night with me. The next day he was really mad and rude to me over text when I asked him when we were meeting up because he told me we were later. He said very rudely that we weren't seeing each other and have a nice flight. The next day, bc I knew he was acting out since he thought I didnt see him as soon as I came. I told him the truth. He didn't reply all day even though I texted him so many times. The next day I told him to just acknowledge what I said because I was trying to let him go. He finally texted back saying we should probably let everything go. After a few weeks of no contact, I texted him saying I liked his fb prof pic. we had a conversation and he was like "I don't want to say thanks until I talk to you for a bit." then we started snapchatting regularly (his are mostly shirtless) and have convos once in a while on text but I would be the one to text first even though replies within 2 minutes of the text sent. He currently is visiting family in another country. Yesterday he messaged me on fb (he still always calls me baby) and we had a constant conversation for 4 hours. and in it he was reminiscing about the times we were together and how we should do couples workouts but overall it was a fun convo. Its like he forgot the whole drama and "I think we should let go" thing didn't even happen.

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This will be a long story since there is a lot of history. I met this guy, i'll call him "L", early last year, and he was nice, but we didn't talk so much. When we did talk it was always kind of flirty, but he never made a move. I ended up going out with another guy and L stopped talking to me so often. When I ended things with the other guy, me and L got back to talking and we were always flirting, either through text or when we hanged out with a group of friends. One time he actually did make a move on me, but we decided it was better not to do anything, because of a mutual friend who liked me. We ended up losing contact, but earlier this year we started talking again. This was also when I started making friendships with his group of friends. One day I got tired of all the "flirting and nothing happening" and decided to tell him I had a crush on him. He was actually pretty excited about that but said that we should let things flow naturally. After that, we started texting all the time, talking for hours, we both initiated conversations, him more than me. In person he would touch me a lot, sit next to me, when we watched movies we would cuddle, showed a lot of interest. The thing is, we never hanged out alone and this went on for a few months. So I decided to talk to him about it, and he said there were a few problems. He said he wasn't sure about how he felt about me, that he was very attracted and he thought of me as "everything he was looking for in a girlfriend" but he didn't feel "butterflies" around me, that is what he needed to initiate a relationship, since he wasn't really looking for something serious, and if he were to start something with me he would want it to be a serious relationship. Because of that, some smaller things also bothered him, like maybe losing a friendship with me if he ended up hurting me, his feelings being smaller than mine for him, a mutual friend who also liked me. He said he didn't know what to do because he really wanted it to work out with me, but there was still something missing, and he didn't want to start it casual since he thought I really liked him. I ended up convincing him to end this little thing we had, saying that he wouldn't feel anything for me and that I didn't really like him that much. We did decide to hook up later that day, even though we were cutting off our fling. After that I tried talking to him a couple of times, but we ended up losing contact, only seeing each other occasionally when the circle of friends hanged out. I noticed he started to be very rude to me, and we couldn't even talk normally anymore. Then he found another girl, and whenever I was around he would always apparently rub it in my face, by speaking about her all the time to the other guys. All these things ended up frustrating me and I got very bitter towards him until I decided to cut him out of my life completely. During this time, L and the other girl didn't work out and ended up going separate ways. After a while, some of our mutual friends advised me to make amends with him because they didn't want me to stop hanging out with them. So I talked to L and asked him why he was treating me that way, to which he denied doing that on purpose. He didn't really give me a good explanation but we ended up on good terms. After a few weeks, he began texting me again, and this is when I started getting really confused. He’s been doing a few things he used to when we still had the fling. We're talking to each other almost everyday, sometimes he'll initiate a conversation with me various days in a row, keep my conversation open on his phone waiting for my answer, replies very quickly. He sometimes will ask me if i'm going to a certain event our friends our holding, and he actually only did that once when were flirting. He tries to keep the conversation going on for a long time, we frequently talk to very late hours. He also recently told me that he misses the all-nighter conversations we used to have. The all-nighter conversations didn't happen so often, but when they did they were either spicy or trying to resolve our "relationship" problem. We also watched a movie, it was the first time we did this after cutting off our fling. He did sit rather far from me, but the next day he said he was missing cuddling watching movies, and that the person he used to do it with, didn't want to anymore. I told him he didn't even ask or show me that he wanted that, and he asked if we could do that. When we go out to bars, he'll always try to sit next to me, and sometimes he keeps his knees touching mine. I'm the type that gets really awkward with eye contact, so I never really looked into his eyes. Recently I've been doing that and I've noticed he avoids eye contact with me, he will always look away. So he's showing some really interesting signals. But at the same time, occasionally he'll answer a text only after a few days, or answer with short answers, or take long to answer, and he’ll be online all day. I'll feel like he's not really interested or that maybe he's just being friendly. I'm so confused with his mixed signals. At the time I told L I didn’t really like him, I thought I didn't, but now i'm pretty sure that I do, the more we talk the more I feel a strong connection to him.

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Texted

I don't even know what my question is. I'm just wondering what...

By ninamarieninamarie | Nov 07 2014

Long story short: Met a guy over the summer. After about 2 months, I ended up falling madly in love with him. I never expected it and I didn't want it to happen but it did. I ended up showing signs of my feelings towards him and he bailed. We weren't "official" or anything, but whatever we had together, he ended. I was really bummed but I tried to just move forward and let him go. A month went by and he texted me. He said he just wanted to say hello and wanted to see if I had hooked up my tv yet. (While we were still seeing each other, I bought a new TV that he said he'd set up, but we never got the chance.) I told him that I hadn't hooked it up yet and he offered to do it for me. I said no because I just couldn't see him at that time. I felt like it would be a tease. He ended up being honest with me and told me that he had to walk away because he knew that I had developed feelings for him and he didn't want to hurt me. After all that, we just kept texting for a while goofy, funny stuff back and forth. Then I didn't hear from him again for a few weeks. On halloween, I sent him a "happy halloween" text and never heard back from him. Then a week later (today) he texted me again, asking how I am and how everything is going. I'm really confused. I'm trying to get him out of my head and move on, but he is the one that always seems to text me. I never initiated anything once he ended it.

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I met this guy about 4 months ago and we are really good friends. We were on this summer camp thing for 3 weeks. By the end of the first, we were talking quite well and we would talk everyday starting at the second week. When we were talking, he would call me cutie and would use the heart and kiss emojis. My friends asked him how he felt towards me and he said that he found me attractive but nothing more than that. After the summer camp was over, we still continued to talk however the conversations were quite short and really brief and he didn't seem that interested. We were still talking and then he told me that this girl from his school liked him and that he liked her and that he was planning on asking her out. I never asked him if he had asked her out as I felt that it was none of my business. Our conversation slowed down again after that but then it picked up again and we have been having really good conversations. He seemed to have changed and he seemed to be a bit more flirty.
In our conversations:
Me and him were talking and I said "I like you so its fine" and he said "in which way do you mean that?". I meant it in a friendly way and I've said it before but he had never questioned it before until then. Another time he asked me to meet him like on a whim, out of the blue, while we were talking. I couldn't go but I wanted to go somewhere but my friend cancelled, I told him that and he said he'd come with me. As well as that, one of the girls from the summer camp organised for some of us to meet up on the weekend and I asked him if he was going and he asked me if I was going. I told him that I was going so then he said that there was no point in him going either. Recently, he went to a party and on that day I said to "enjoy the party" and on that same day I was going to a costume party and I showed him my costume and he said "cuteeeeeee (heart emoji)" and "you look surprisingly nice"
When I talk to him he's been saying "hun" and "bubs" and "b" and "cutie" and been using x's.

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I met this guy in the summer while I was interning. We clicked immediately and constantly hung out (and obvi hooked up) but it wasn't only sex. We actually spent all our free time together. We acted like we were in a serious relationship even though we weren't. And he told me I was what he wanted in a wife. Before I left I realized that I fell for him. So I told him, he told me that since I was going back to my city... he wasn't sure when we'd see each other again. in other words, after summer our fling would end. After I left, when I texted him he always replies back in an instant. And says he misses me too and all. But it ended up I was always the one to hit him up and there never was a convo going or he didn't reply. We basically stopped talking except when he sends snapchat selfies which used to be like once a day but now its once a week. but one day I told him I was coming up to his city to visit and we should hangout, he told me he'd skip his classes those days to spend time with me. (I proceeded to go crazy the following day and told him I didn't want to see him when I visit because I still liked him, and the following day I told him id want to see him, etc) He's never been the first to text me but he texted me "Hi baby, miss ya" and then snapchatted me a few days later just saying "miss ya" I know I went crazy and texted/snapped him too much in the beginning. but is he just hitting me up so that he'll have someone for those days?

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We met at camp and I was never willing to get close to him because I was dating someone and I thought we were in a strong relationship at the time. However the day after camp he dumped me. Also the guy I met at camp had a girl in his life (they weren't dating but still together) but they just recently broke it off. Ever since camp, we play xbox together every night, FaceTime, and watch Netflix movies online together. He texts me all the time and I tells me how he misses me all the time. He's like my best friend now. He always tells me I need to be honest with guys and tell them if i have feelings for them. But Im afraid of losing this one.

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Met this guy a few weeks back. We've spent a lot of time together; doing general couple things. I've met the majority of his family.

Now, here's the problem.
He goes back to university in about a months time. (This is quite a distance away). He's already put doubts in my mind about us carrying in the relationship when he does move back. "You won't get to meet my friends" or " (this says to me I won't be visiting him) ... He's made many little comments similar to this.

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I was hoping to get some advice from you if you don't mind. So I just graduated from high school and there's this guy I've been flirting with lately. Since I'll be leaving for college soon we agreed that we wanted to just date for the fun of it and not get into an actual relationship.

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I spent a month down in KY with my aunt (it's about three hours away from where I live) and I went on a few dates with a guy. We ended up hooking up, and I thought it would be just a fling. He had mentioned wanting to try going the distance, but I didn't take him all that seriously. He started texting me a few days after I got back and told me again that he wanted to go the distance. About a week ago, he asked me to move in with him and transfer colleges. I said I couldn't this semester, because I'd like to get to know him better and it's too late to apply to transfer. He works two jobs, so he works 7 days a week. He used to make an effort to text me, but now he doesn't text first very often. And sometimes he'll just drop out of a conversation without answering my question. He didn't text at all yesterday.

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I met this guy last summer and we spent two months together. He mainly made me feel like a booty call this whole time, but when we were together he would cuddle and be super sweet to me. We never talked about exclusivity or anything so I took it as a summer fling because he moved away. Then about a month ago he texted me out of the blue and even called me a few times recently. He says he is sorry for making me feel like an option when he lived here and that he misses me and the time we spent together. He has even thrown out us meeting in a few weeks to have a little vacation together. But I found that his ex has moved to the same state as him about an hour away and he was seeing her a mere three weeks ago (he might even still be seeing her, I'm not sure, but she has multiple pictures of the two of them on dates). When he first contacted me I told him that I wasn't comfortable with being an option or booty call ever again. I really care about him and was looking forward to our vacay, but now I think I might just fill a void for him when he's lonely...

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I've met a guy 1 1/2 years ago when I was on holiday in Italy. He worked in the hotel as a sailing instructor & I just hung with him/his friends because we were the same age (18/19ish) and got along. Me & him met several nights, I was at his room, we talked, laughed and made out. It went quite far, but I was not ready to sleep with him, which he was very nice about, but it was very clear that this was what he wanted. I was just in for some fun, so no serious intentions, but I was not ready to sleep with him after just that short amount of time. When I left, we texted irregularly for 3/4 months & then the contact kind of broke off.
A few weeks ago he messaged me because it was my birthday. I was surprised, because he hadn't done so last year, but we started talking. It turns out he doesn't live too far from me now & is at uni. He was supposed to meet a friend, but he told me to write him again & "it would be cool if we could meet up again, now that we're just a stone's throw apart", to which I agreed & we're now seeing when it fits best for us.

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