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haven't seen him in a while...

By dazednconfuzed | Mar 22 2015

hey, what're you up to?

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I'm sorry this is so long .

A couple of years ago I met a guy went on a date (where we had quite a bit of chemistry), but I ended up sleeping with him on the first date and we became FWBs. All throughout that time, we would meet up for sex like once a week and he would text me all the time (not anything flirty, dirty or deep) but just everyday conversation. Also, we'd have dinner or catch a movie together and he was always respectful. At the time, I thought nothing about our situation because I always thought we were just FWBs (though we never spoke about what our agreement was) because whenever we were together seemed really withdrawn around me (he wasn't like that on the first date before I slept with him, he was really open back then).

Eventually, he stopped texting and after 2 weeks he sent me a text asking if we could do something other than have sex and I replied that it was cool with me then he didn't reply back. I just figured that he found another FWB who he was more physically attracted to or that he wanted to find a real relationship with a woman who was right for him.

A few months after not speaking to each other, he sent me a message on FB asking me how I was then sent me a friend request. At the time, I had a boyfriend so I just totally ignored all of those messages and declined his friend request. Nearly two years have passed now and I recently sent him a message on FB asking him how he was. He replied quickly and asked for my number but I told him I wasn't comfortable with that because I was still with my boyfriend.

We ended up messaging daily just catching up then he replied, "Maybe you should take me out to coffee one day " which I ignored. Eventually (and all of a sudden) he asked how long me and my boyfriend have been together and I told him. He figured out that I had met my boyfriend a few months after he and I stopped seeing each other and he sent a blushing emoticon with that message. I then asked him about his marital situation (just to catch up) and he said he's single then I replied. He's read the message but now he hasn't replied after a few days when before he was replying back to me within a hour.

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I recently started talking to this guy who I used to talk to in high school a few years ago, we weren't as close but we would talk a lot mainly on AIM and occasionally facebook. There were times where we were supposed to hang out but unfortunately there was always something conflicting, which ended up us never hanging out and I moved my last year, therefore we sort of lost contact or somewhat drifted for quite a while. About 3 years later, I had this sudden urge of contacting him, so I decided to text him. It was nice to catch up after it's been so long. One of the first things he said was of course we should hangout, "grab something to eat" then said we should do something fun and told me to let him know when i'm available. I agreed to do so, so we planned ahead and about a few days after we didn't text or anything and I was curious if he'd remember or not so I decided the next day I'll let him know, funny thing is I woke up the next morning and received a text from him, and I was actually happy he had remembered and initiated before I even did.

The day we hung out, I didn't necessarily know what to expect nor was I prepared because it was the first time we got to hang out and it was just between him and I. I just went with the flow. He offered to pick me up and didn't mind if he'd take me home, because I live about 20 minutes away. When he picked me up, I got inside the car and he had a smile and seemed enthusiastic about us introducing ourselves properly and finally getting to hang out. We catched up a bit and he started talking about inviting me over for a kickback with his co-workers 2 days later at his place, there was going to be karaoke and stuff, he said "you should come, it'll be fun." Yes, I thought why not. But before I get to that later, I love that during my awkward silences, he filled it up with questions about myself and kept the conversation going so i'd feel more comfortable. Once we reached our destination, he offered to pay, we went go karting, played mini golf and a cheeky air hockey sesh. He was a gentleman, opened the door for me and showed his concern especially asking if I wanted anything (if I was hungry). During our hang out, there was a few times he would tease me, complimented me, and I could sense his body language, whenever we talked he was very attentive, we made eye contact often. Every time we walked, we accidentally bumped into each other because of how close we were standing, he would nudge my arm when he'd joke around and try to make me laugh.

One thing that stood out was that he was open with me, he'd share some of his personal experiences, his childhood, etc. Generally didn't mind admitting to things even if he felt embarrassed to. We sat next to each other, bonded on different things like food, karaoke, and places we've been to or want to go. It made me realize that he must truly want to know more about me and spend more time. We both mentioned how we used to talk a lot back then, the moment when he said "I wonder why we stopped talking". Another thing that stood out was in the middle of talking, he jumped into talking about places and events. We would talk about them and he would say "Oh! that's where we have to go!" and asked if I've been hiking before, I said I have and he went in to say that we should go hiking. Most of the events we talked about happen later in the year and so on. Just by making these future plans with me, made me engage on what his intentions are. Going home, we were cruising around and enjoying the moment, listening to music. We passed by a restaurant he loves to go to and we bonded over the kind of food they served, although I've never been there, he said that we should try it next time. When we were near my place, he complimented that my lotion smelled nice and I thanked him for the day, I initially was going to give him a hug but it looked like I was already getting out of the car and he was like "I don't get a hug?" or "Do I get a hug?" and smiled and I looked back and of course gave him a hug, and it wasn't a second it was more like a few seconds and he even gently rubbed my back like a little warm embrace. Overall I had a great time, and it was generally a nice feeling knowing we got to know one another better.

A few hours had passed, he sent me a message that he had fun that day and that he was hoping that we could see each other again for his kickback I talked about earlier. So I hung out with my best friend the night before his kickback, and our close friend came down to visit so we all had a few drinks. I told her about his kickback, i'm thinking she definitely forgot about it the next day. He knew I was bringing my friend along and I told him that we would come. I watched a movie with my best friend first thinking we were still going, then after the movie she was like "hurry, we have to go" (she had somewhere to go) I was bummed at this point because she never told me anything sooner, at this moment I knew we weren't going to make it and I felt bad that I wasn't going to go. I told him and he was kind of bummed, he thought I was going to go, an hour later I fell asleep and woke up that he texted me "Hey there's no way you can make it? ):" and I didn't see it right away neither did I know what to say, it was late. I told him my situation a day later, which I shouldn't have waited and rather done it the next day. But he said it was fine, he'd have another some other time. We still texted a bit and we basically mentioned we both can't wait for break again, because we're currently in school, and he said he's been busy all day everyday. He works as well, so I understand he's a busy bee. But after that conversation, we hadn't texted in almost 2 weeks now. I feel as if he indicated that just to let me know what's up (him being busy and what not) in case we don't talk as often i'm guessing.

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Am I being played or his backup plan?

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Are you in? I haven't spoken to you in ages! Free for a catch up? x

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me:are you free to catch up soon?
guy:sort of...around this week then i hit the road again starting friday. how bout you?
me:im free tuesday if you want to catch up
guy:i'll have to say tentative on that one i have a pretty front loaded week this week

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its been two months since we had sex. so .. ...

By eccelimo | Oct 14 2012

hey you ! how are you doing ? What's up ?

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him: Yo just been having dinner to be honest would you be annoyed if we caught up another night really want to see you but am super tired and not feeling well.
him: Sorry to be a pain am thinking I wouldn't great company. sorry xx

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i havent talked to you in 3 months....

By shalinidhar | Oct 12 2012

It's been forever!! come meet me!!

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did he have fun...

By julianateo | Oct 11 2012

that was fun, catch up next time.

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