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Please can you advise me what could be driving my behaviour If...

By runawaybride_2 | Mar 10 2016

Hi guys,

I am writing because I need advice for how to handle the predicament I am in. I am engaged, and have been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years. We have a great time together, he is the sweetest and most considerate person in the world, he loves me and would do anything for me. Our families get along great and everything seems to be perfect. We have an exciting sex-life, albeit not as exciting as 2 years ago. We both have great careers and have the same future goals. The only area where we don't mesh is the fact that I'm a hopeless dreamer, someone who always wants to be fulfilled spiritually and who is always looking for inner peace, and can never find it. My fiance doesn't have that desire, and it's not something we talk about. After all, it's difficult to explain when I don't necessarily know what it is that I am searching for.

We are planning the last details for our wedding in a few months, and the closer the wedding date comes, the more terrified I am. I have found that talk of the wedding gives me knots in my stomach, makes me feel trapped and makes me lose attraction and devotion to my fiance. I have never cheated on him, but I have noticed that I've started noticing other guys more and I have a strong urge to be with someone else sexually and passionately, it's almost like I am planning how and with whom to do it. I can't get it out of my head, it consumes me and I have no idea how to bring it up to my fiance - or if I even should. He would be heartbroken. The idea of losing him and not being with him is equally as scary to me, if I ever saw him with another woman I would be heartbroken too.

I can easily imagine a life where we don't get married and where I am free to explore myself and what life has in store for me. I have a much harder time imaging myself as someone's wife, someone's mother and someone who has everything mapped out. But where we are currently; everything is planned and paid for, guests are invited to our destination wedding, and it seems like pulling it is impossible, and I don't even know if I want to.

I should say I am 29 years old, and this is the first really long relationship I've had. I've dated guys for longer periods, but never with the amount of commitment in my current relationship. I cry every day, and my fiance is noticing that I'm affected, but he thinks it's just wedding jitters and that everything will be fine. It might just be wedding jitters, I don't know. I used to be excited about our engagement, but I dread everything about it now. I don't want to be married, it feels like I'm walking voluntarily into a prison. But I also don't want to lose my fiance, whom I adore wholeheartedly.

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( a month before he broke up with me ( october ) he got into a...

By lovelifestruggles | Jan 02 2016

Feeling hurt..

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His actions are confusing me: he's so hot and so cold! Help!

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I broke up with my ex of 7 months a little over a week ago. It was pretty much a relationship where we were both taking each other for granted. He eventually ended it by coming over to my house and I simply said 'I know what you're going to say, it's not working out' before he had a chance to. I then rushed him out the door saying 'you should leave now' and when he tried to say bye to my Labrador I was really rude. I essentially said 'what are you doing?! Just get out'. The worst part was that when we got the door I opened it merrily and then said in a sing song voice 'byeee!' and then when he said 'see you soon?' I said 'no you fucking won't' and slammed the door. (Apologies for all the speech in the middle of text). I feel so terrible about ending it in such a cold way after the relationship ending was both of our faults. On social media he seems to be doing fine, but I feel awful and like such a bitch. My friends keep telling me not to text an apology as I might look like a desperate ex trying to get back together. However, I genuinely just want to give the poor guy an apology.

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he txted me back after we broke up and i was not not txting for two weeks.. what now

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So I met this guy online about 2 years ago. We hooked up a couple...

By stillworkingonit | Mar 21 2015

Does he like me or is he using me?

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My bf broke up with me on saturday, but not really thinking it through. 4 hours later he was asking me how i was feeling and telling me he couldn't stop thinking about our last conversation. These last 4 days hes been calling me and texting me telling me he needs to talk to me something very important. He tells me hes sad and that Im Being unfair because hes been trying to reach through all the ways posssible. I don't know if I should answer or I should keep ignoring him a bit more. What should I do? Do u think he wants to go back with me? Because I do.

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I wrote the back story on the question section...

By flowepowerana | Mar 04 2015

Hope you are doing well and thank you in advance for reading all of this... =)

I was dating my boyfriend for about 2 years and we lived together for a year a half. We had our fights, but what douple doesn't? Our fights were mostly about how he had problems communicating which made him believe that he was too selfish to be in a relationship... But other than that, we were best friends, had a great sex life, and I thought we were doing really well.

But back in December he started to "not feel like himself"... I know he was going through some stuff and that it might be better to back off, so we decided to break up. But with the certainty that we would get back together. I put my stuff in storage and during our break I travelled to Brazil. When I came back he picked me up from the airport (he surprised me), and all of a sudden we feel into our old habits and we were back together. Yes, even living together.

Maybe 3 weeks after that he went back to saying that he couldn't be in this relationship yet, and I moved out, this time for good. Then I noticed that he was being cold and distant. A really weird thing considering we didn't end on a fight or a sour note. He was being mean! And all I could think of is that he was being mean so that we didn't get back to our friendship that would eventually lead to a relationship again. But I was devasted. Like I said, we were best friends and all I wanted to do was talk to him, and I couldn't. All I could think was "How can he not want to talk to me? We were best friends!"... And so we spent 10 days with no communication (well except when I went to get my stuff from his apartment again. I noticed that he was nice, but distant which broke my heart again -- but don't worry I was strong in front of him)...

Anyway, today he texted. He said "Hey hope everything is cool, did the people from the santa monica apartment ever hit u back? we forgot one of suitcases in the back of my car btw".

I thought that mesage was mean. "hope everything is cool"? He doesn't talk like that. And he just wants me to get my stuff out! Like he wants me completely out of his life. My heart is broken.

But then again, I tend to over read and over analyze. I also tend to think everything is mean. So my question is... Is that text mean? What is he doing? All I know is that I want to be his friend again. I miss him in my life. And if it isn't as a boyfriend I can deal with him being my friend.

Thanks a bunch!
xx

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So I dated this guy for 6 months and I thought everything was going great. Then he dumped me out of the blue and said "he doesn't want a girlfriend anymore" and did the whole "it's not you its me." To be quite honest I'm completely heartbroken. We had so much in common and all his friends were surprised I could get him to commit bc he hasn't had a girlfriend in 5 years prior to me. But I'm staying strong and neither of us has made contact to each other. But he has a lot of my things still. He broke up with me thursday and it is now Tuesday. When should i ask for my things back? I want him to miss me and realize he made a mistake. I know that's probably not possible but when is the best time to ask for my things back?

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