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Do you think he will eventually start acknowledging the things he did wrong?

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Relationship

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By ashleybloom | May 05 2016

Hello! What if you told your ex that your giving him space. Will he miss me even though he knows I won't contact him?

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So we live some 1,300 miles apart and met via a Facebook group in June 2014 and started talking in November 2014. He told me he liked me in January 2015 (still never having met) and I told him I liked him too.

We primarily texted each other with the ocassional phone call and became best friends over the next four months. We developed a very deep emotional connection and were serious enough to have discussed a timeline for a proposal, the type of wedding we'd each like to have, the type of life we'd have together, etc. Honestly, I fell in love with him. All the while, we had never met! (Okay, I'm totally aware of the insanity of that situation and how naive I sound for progressing to that level without ever actually meeting--or even FaceTiming--but we do have mutual friends whom I know well IRL who vouched that he was a great guy an not a psycho killer.)

At the end of April, we FINALLY met at a conference and, after the initial awkwardness wore off, acted like we'd known each other forever. It all seemed great...Until five days after the conference when he said that, even though his feelings for me had been solidified during the conference, that he just felt that the timing was off and wanted to be friends. He cancelled the trip he was going to make to visit me and meet my family and we attempted the whole "just friends" thing until I pushed a little too hard by calling him for a legitimate question that only he could answer. He told me that talking to me was just too hard and that, at most we could text every few days. In my hurt and anger, I told him that I wouldn't contact him again unless he messaged so it wouldn't be difficult for him (I caved after 8 days of no contact and complete misery).

At some point during this time, he had the idea to start a new online magazine and wanted my help with it. When we decided to break off contact he told me to run with it on my own. I told him I wouldn't do that because it was his baby but eventually was cornered into doing it by a few other friends. When I began to promote the magazine he messaged me asking to get involved and this eventually led to us having a solid working relationship.

Then came the "I miss you" message in July. So we decided to try to pick up where we'd left off. Just as we were ready to finally make things official and spend a whole week together (we would be in the same town again for another conference), he told me that he felt the timing was off still. I was sort of feeling the same way, plus things never really got back to the level of intimacy we were at before the break and I was beginning to feel confused about whether he was really someone I was romantically interested or just wanted as a very good friend.

That was three weeks ago. We kept talking to each other regularly though and helped each other through some really rough patches that came up all at once over this time. I also came to the realization that I am still crazy about him and that the wall I had put up after our initial split was what had kept us from connecting the way we had before and worked on some things that were making the timing feel off. He also worked out some issues on his end and on Saturday he suggested we try to give things a real go, dating for a year or two and intentionally not trying to rush into a super-serious commitment (i.e. marriage) too soon. I didn't give him a definitive yes but suggested I'd be open to it.

Today, he resumed his old super-sweet good morning text messages and it's felt like all is right with the world again.

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Need advice....How do I deal with this?

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So I just got out of a bad relationship and went out of town for the weekend. Ended up meeting a guy and went back to his place and had to catch my flight early the next morning. But besides the sex, I honestly had a great time talking to him...he texted a bit today, but I just would like a distraction right now as I'm getting out of this relationship...is there a way to keep a conversation going without coming off as clingy?

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I have been seeing this guy for three months. The first two weeks were intense, we have seen each other every day. Later on we had a talk, deciding that it was too intense, so we slowed down a bit.
Now I was the one asking for a relation shop sort out talk since I started to develop feelings for him. Last week we wanted to see each other but both of us didn`t set a date - possibly afraid to have the talk. Then we agreed to meet this Friday. But on Thursday one of my family members died and I felt and still feel sad about it. I told him, nevertheless he agreed to meet me. Than he sent these text messages ( happened last night)

Him: I am sitting in the bureau. A friend came by but I made him leave. It is about us. I don`t know if I am doing the right thing. I like you and I like spending time with you but something is missing. I don`t want to play. Only to write you this it took me some courage. I`m afraid to come to you because of your loss. I want to come to you and talk to you but today I can't sorry."

Me: " But I really want to talk about us - without harsh words and accusations - but to give the two us a chance to name what is missing - not only for you but for me, too. I know what I have been missing lately. Please be fair and let us talk"

Him: " Of course we will talk to each other. I don't want to hurt you. There are no accusations. It is like it is. I can't drive anymore, I needed some drinks to muster up writing with you. And I don't want to do it now, because I can't. Please give me a couple of days time."

Me:" I will give you time. Just tell me if this is over for you now.. Otherwise I couldn't make it through the night. And right now I am really scared you say "Yes" and that I behaved like an idiot. I changed into someone I never wanted to be and I believe I destroyed everything"

Him:" How this between us will turn out, I'm not sure right now, that's why I want to talk. I don't think you behaved like an idiot and I don't think, if something is destroyed, that this is your fault - I would`t even talk about fault. I don't want to state facts via writing ( I would never do that and I don't want to), that's why I won't say yes to your question. I really want to meet you. Like I said, I don't feel good about all that and I try to drink it down."

Me:" Okay, then the both of us are drinking it down separately. Take your time, in the meantime I am going to take my time too. I will still give you a good night kiss, because I like you and I don't want you to feel bad - when in doubt on the cheek."

Him:" That`s how we do it. I like you too ( and that is not the `giving the compliment back thing). I hope you will make it through the night with these informations. Of course you will get a kiss back - wherever you want to feel it (smiley)

After that I turned off my cell phone, drank red wine and cried myself to sleep. Now I am between feeling like I want to choke him and crying all the time.

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