What are his intentions ...

By tindermess | Sep 21 2015

So I went on a date with a guy from tinder last week and I'm wondering where we go from here. We talked for months previously to this. He drove two hours to see me, we went for drinks and he stayed the night. He was very cuddly with me and teased me etc. But he didn't really compliment me which is weird because usually he's super nice. He's snapchatted me a lot since then, so I'm hoping I haven't scared him off. Plus he text me as soon as he got home. He did mention seeing me again at the time and said I could come back with him and stay at his for a bit when he left but I didn't know if the offer was serious. He's mentioned seeing him a little since then but I'm not sure if he's being serious. He has slept with a lot of girls, which makes me not trust him and he's extremely smooth. But when I tell him what's wrong he says he doesn't have a commitment problem and he's just waiting for someone. He has had girlfriends in the past obviously. When I said I couldn't meet him when he originally wanted to and he found out I was seeing someone else he got very sulky. So I used it as an excuse to ask about my insecurities. He said we're too busy at the moment since we're both students but when he graduates he wants more. Which suggests either he's thinking of a future or is just stringing me along. I'm so confused. He deleted tinder before he saw me but he didn't mention it to me I just asked him when I noticed. He brings up seeing me but then he's never that keen to make me visit him.

Now I'm Wondering

What are his intentions?



Top Commenter

21 Sep

He's stringing you along so that he can see you on and off on his terms and you'll remain hopeful that one day it will turn into a relationship. If he is not initiating to see you again, you can safely assume he's not interested enough, no need to confuse yourself and think otherwise.


21 Sep

But he has asked me to visit multiple times?


29 Sep

You say he didn't compliment you, and that it was "weird." He was with you, was he not? So why do you need double reassurance from him via him complimenting you? It sounds to me that you are highly insecure, which can ultimately be a huge turn off to any guy. He spent time with you, and spent the night, but did you two sleep together sexually? Or was it just that he had one too many drinks, and wasn't able to spend the night; or that it was too late, and he was too tired to make the 2 hour trip back home driving-wise? If you're not sure if he is being serious about making plans, then ASK him. Simply say that he brought up the topic several times, and you are wondering when this could happen - i.e. a specific date and time. He doesn't have a commitment problem, but he doesn't want to commit to you either. Sounds to me like you are both seeing other people on the side. And if you really liked this guy, and you wanted to really have something with him, the fact that you were seeing other guys could have indicated to him that you are either a) a slut or b) not too into him, or both. And that could be reason enough for him to be showing minimal interest in seeing you again. Him telling you that he plans to have something serious after grad school is a clear indication that he is not looking to settle down into a r/s with anyone; that he is just looking for a hook up or FWB scenario with someone else, and that he isn't going to opt to commit to you.

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