barelychicks

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Strategically, what do you think I should do next? Basically what happened is we hooked up after a friend's party... Then he snuck out and didn't say anything. I sent him that text the next day and then he apologized. This was 3 days ago now and he still hasn't been in touch!! Can I text him asking to meet up or is that just soooo desperate?

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timnyc ADVISOR TOP COMMENTER

Sorry my dear, but this guy is a no go. He pulled a sneak out and now is not getting in touch? Time to find a guy who buys you breakfast instead.

justtryingtohelp

Couldn't say it better than TimNYC...and don't ever let a guy have the "it's cool" response for sneaking out without, at the very least, nudging you to tell you he can't sleep before he goes. Even that is no bueno but at least it's a little more respectful. Don't be afraid to tell him that wasn't cool. Maybe he'll try to win your adoration back and show you he's taking you seriously...if he doesn't at that point you'll have your answer.

rpc

Aaaaw! I love that the guys on this site are the ones saying ditch him bc he's not good enough for you. If a guy is calling out another guy's bad behavior, you know it's probably time to move on...

retiredplayawith2daughters

Translation: Next time I want to hit and split, don't call me, I'll call you...

therealtruth

Two words: snuck out.
Move on lady you can do better :-)

linsb07

Put on your Hot Girl Disguise (thank you, Jenna Marbles), be somewhere you know he'll be, and don't even acknowledge his pathetic little existence.

And if he tries anything, laugh it off and say "Sorry if you were getting a vibe from me, but I really just don't think of you like that. I know stuff happened between us, but I'd really just like to put that in the past. Pals?"

hirolr456

I'd have to agree with everyone else on this one, sneaking out with no note or text to explain means he was looking for one thing and he got it, you can be sure to expect a late night text message for the same thing in the future. You're only wasting your time.

advicegirl

I'm with everybody else here. He was just looking for a one night stand, and you deserve better than that. Move on.

briancauley

don't text him. he said "will let you know" and either he will or he won't, but you'll come across as someone who can't read a sign, a text, or give people space.

digitalid

Strategically, its a lost war.

Sneaking out is never a good sign.

regularguy

Why have a one night stand and expect anything more? Maybe he'll call you for a booty call, but that's about it. Next time if you want more than to be a booty call don't be so easy.

blarewaldorf

RUN AWAY.

blestrange

Don't do it girl!!! This was just a hook up. You're never "desperate" for reaching out to someone you're interested in, just human, then again, it is foolish to try to turn a hook up into something more when the guy clearly isn't doing the same.

bejesus

Sneaking out is weird, but he was decent enough to apologize. Obviously he he wants space. If you need to talk to face to face, that's okay to ask for. But be prepared for disappointment.

But also? Next time someone sneaks out on you in the middle of the night, it's okay to be miffed. You can get pissed off and still have a relationship.

aestheticbrah

What do you want from this guy? Was he a good lay? If yes, let him know that you're just looking for a fuck buddy as well, anything beyond that will drive him off, since you're dealing with someone who doesn't like to commit...

ayosubzero

DON'T TEXT HIM...He's a dick. Real men stick around and make you breakfast. Unfortunately you were a booty call.

lindadawson

don't text him..

travis87

Seems like a douche move. Dice him. Friendzone him publicly somehow. I can only speak for myself and I wouldn't sneak out because I couldn't sleep. I'd get what sleep I could and say as much in the morning whilst still saying I had an awesome the previous night.

nadine529

Next!

daffodil7

He isn't really sorry and he will never "let you know." Are you a freshman in college? You're probably a freshman in college. You'll get it soon enough.

rockerfizz19

Perhaps what you should do next is not sleep with some random guy with a lot of alcohol at a party.

oneweirdword

Delete him. Do not ever ever text him or call him or be where you think he'll be. He's a user and he's not into you.

jillalalala

Strategically, move on to someone who will never say the words "sorry I snuck out last night".

aria

did you write then? I wouldn't write..

jboothyy

Don't text him again! Lame excuse for "sneaking out" and his response is so lame and an obvious attempt to tell you he doesn't want to hang out again without actually saying it.

sayitlikeitis

You need to read the book "He's Just that not into you" because this text scenario is exactly what it talks about....Do NOT respond to him!!! He is not into you

yummyprosciutto

He will let you know if he is interested. Apparently he is not.

rdyyetunprprd

I think that him responding to your text at all after one hookup is a sign that he sees a potential fun, ongoing hookup thing with you. If you like him, texting him ONCE more, after about a week, to see if he's free to chill/fool around would not be desperate. If you get blown off again, move on. But if something actually happens because of it, proceed...with caution.

shimmyya

Why did you say "That's cool"? A sneak-out is not cool!

mmmrightsbrah

Men in the trades are obsessed with anal intercourse. Watch out and let god be with you through this time.

peekay34

Its a Tough sleep after playing a road game. Lots of unfamiliar surroundings, don't know where the bathroom is, don't wanna be running into objects in the middle of the night,sometimes she has an awkward pet like a cat. tough call.

debrabayles

As someone who has done the sneak out I will say the only reason you do this is because you are ashamed and regret what happened. It doesn't mean he is ashamed of you but of his behavior. A lot of the time it is because they have a bf/gf.

meowkatz3000

He doesn't want to see you. If you feel like hooking up again, try sending him a text on a weekend night. This will not be the love of your life.

handichapped

It's called a hump and dump hunny. Something attractive people encounter frequently. Only because most of us men are more animalistic than emotionalistic. Enjoy my made up words, I hate typing.

artemis

If you don't mind being a one (two) night stand then send him a text "Hey, can I send you a booty call sometime?". If he says yes, then he's not really into you but wouldn't say no to sex :)

nazzylove

Oh honey, he's never gonna call you back. Unless he wants to hump and dump you again. Forget about him sweetheart.

lolstar6

Kinda crazy with work...ouch. Sorry hun, if he wanted to hook up again he would suggest it. Id leave this one.

dkota

you just wrote it your self:
"...hooked up after a friend's party... Then he snuck out and didn't say anything. I sent him that text the next day and then he apologized. This was 3 days ago now and he still hasn't been in touch!!"
You hooked up, he snuck out, just because he apologized doesn't mean he's going to be your prince charming...he was exactly what it was a "Hook up" nothing more than that. Move on to the next.

ccaaa

DO NOT TEXT BACK. let it go. he is trying to be nice. but does not want to pursue anything.

rukiddingme_2

i dont understand how you can not know!! busy with work.. not followed by anything (off this weekend, meet for lunch) is a blow off... When a guy leaves your bed in the middle of the night its because he doesnt wanna see you and thinks less of you than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Like thanks for the lay but i dont even like you enough to say goodbye! move on and next time, make a guy take you out on a few dates and have a connection before you give it up so fast. Dont be upset, but use this as a learning experience.

dtrguy

A hook up is a hook up. That's what it was. Often, if a guy wants to be with you, work isn't going to stop him from making time for you.

My Advice: Chalk this up to a life experience. If you want to get physical with an individual after a party, don't expect anything afterwards. If you would like something more long term, be more judicious with whom you choose lay with. Most guys who only want sex aren't patient enough to wait for it.

Good luck.

cathybo

Completely agree with this comment. If you're interested in dating someone, no nooky until after a few dates. Annoying and double-standard I know, especially if you're feeling horny as he is. Hook-ups are only that, very rarely do they ever evolve into something else.

darealyst

Practically speaking, he's probably hungry for sex, but I don't want to limit my comment limited to a generic response.

He was very vague and dismissive when he talked about his job, and he hasn't responded in three days. What if he's a drug dealer and had to make a border run on short notice? Provided this is true, go ahead and ask him again, but don't make further contact with him unless he contacts you back. He's probably a decent guy, though.

Two possibilities, neither of which are favorable.

fuzzycheeks

He probably wanted sex at that party. Basically, he was trying to use you :/. After all, you got hooked up. And I can read the emotion in that text and I can assure you that he's not interested in you. The hookup failed. You should also know that if he snuck out without saying anything to you, that means that he doesn't want to be with you and could have felt that it was kind of akward or something. AND since he didn't talk to you in 3 days, then that's a sign that he doesn't want to talk to you and he just wants to forget you in total. If there's a boy that's interested into you, THEY WILL NEVER SAY "Kinda crazy with work but will let you know." They'll usually never say that they're busy with anything and'll probably ask you out to somewhere even if he's busy that day.

sienna77

Sneaking out is a sure sign that he's not into you. As many others have said work does not prevent an interested guy from finding time.

evelinagrezak

Not into you, doesn't want to see you again. The "couldn't sleep" and "crazy with work" are just excuses to try to let you down easy. Don't bother texting him back.

unavailablemalemagnet

coward. loser.

don't bother texting back.

classic jack ass move.

zeesays

Do not text him, call him, or further acknowledge his existence until HE gets in touch with YOU, and expresses some interest in you apart from as a sex partner.

Even if you're fine just being sex partners, that requires no effort on your part. Do not put yourself out there for this guy until he puts himself out there for you.

haidee

Honestly shocked guys even do that. Move on to another guy, he is totally not worth the thought. Doesn't even have the respect for you to say goodbye properly means he doesn't even see you as a potential for the next level.

salou90

He was banging someone else, then thought he'd better text you after she left. Wants to have his cake and eat it!

phendraana

So true. My boyfriend works AND goes to college, he's busy literally every single day yet he still manages to find time for me.

madcowgirl

I would avoid all contact. He is a coward for taking off, do not waste any more time or energy on this guy. Anything you say or do from hereon out will come off as clingy, or desperate.

glamor0us

sneaking out = no bueno.

urbansocialight

It was a hookup. Take it for what it was. He's not your boyfriend; he has no commitment to spend the night or hang out with you. Sorry.

theloveguru TOP COMMENTER

no man is ever too busy with work. if he wants to see you he'll make sure he sees you

italiandreamer

it means that if he will get drunk he will call you

mia03

The whole let you know is your dead sign, I always use that when I dont want anything with anyone. Just delete his number

queenoffrance

Nooooo, red flag! He obviously just wanted a hook up and nothing else. If you want a sex friend, sure. Call him up, but he's definitively not trying to get into a real relationship. Delete that number.

voiceofreason

what universe do you live in?

yourmagicmonkey

walk away....

fanged

He left because he wasn't into you. NO guy will ever leave a chick they hooked up with, in the middle of the night by SNEAKING out, if he is interested in her for more then sex.

You really need to realize, that once a girl opens her legs too soon for a guy, it's almost impossible to ever come back from that. To him you're now easy, and no man wants to take easy home to meet his family.

andiesdatingtip

Lose his number.

brendangoetz

Did not like the sex.

sweetpeach07

Perhaps you didn't give him a bj and he got offended poor loser.

ebonywehipeihana

ive literally done this before but i genuinely couldnt sleep! so dont overeact just yet :)

isabellazoe

dont text him thats too desperate!

rococo

Get some self respect back and don't text him again. You texted him first and he was pretty cool. No man is every so busy with work that he can't make time for a girl he really likes.

wolfwhistle

Sweetheart. Respect yourself a little bit. You're better than this.

mikewhiteside1

He boned you and peaced. Thats what happens when you give it up too easy.

breakfastcat

He's not digging you, grrrl! I've had a guy leave before, but it was legit circumstances, and when I woke up to find him absent from my sheets - I also woke up to a text explaining himself and telling me to call him so we could get brunch.

If he likes you and has to leave - he will LET YOU KNOW he is not being a jerk. Guys are not THAT stupid. They know if they do not explain themselves immediately in that situation, it can only be taken negatively.

sunset

Walk away. Don't text him again or he will think you are desperate. Hold your head high and pretend it never happened. Delete his number and forget who he is.

rocked

Don't text. Move on.

blacktiger

If he likes you he'll text so you can meet up again. If he doesn't forget him

missrabbit

Save yourself and don't text.

charltaulby

As much as you want to text him back, especially if you really like him you need to stop yourself from. He knows that you want to do something and he said he would let you know, so I wouldn't text him back because he probably expects you to text him.

ladyv

Definitely not interested! There are waaaay too many reasons to list but the fact that he sneaked out and then you had to send him a text the next day before you got a (half-hearted) apology from him, should tell you as much! Move onto the next guy - he's not worth it!

ahmonomine

He completely ignored your 'couldn't sleep' its very obvious he doesn't cares so well you got the rest..

danikaelliott

if he didn't stay the night, hes obvi not interested.. especially if he didn't even say goodbye. he was clearly just looking for a hook-up. its probably a good idea if you don't pursue it

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