Dating Question


So I've known him for at least 2 years and I'm really into him and I really want him to care about my feelings. But he puts me on this emotional roller coaster. I can't read if he really likes me or not. Do I continue liking him or ask him out?

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I think you have answered your own question in your explanation. A guy that puts you on an emotional roller coaster is not a nice guy and can be very damaging to anyone.
You deserve better, let it go.

letsbereal TOP COMMENTER

Uhhhh I know we don't know the whole story, but really, he's not responsible for your emotions being all over the place. You're responsible for your own emotions. If you're going to be a wreck because of him, take yourself out of that situation.


Just do yourself a favour and break up. Today.


Agree with all the above comments


From my experience, guys have a hard time talking about emotions, and many do not do well if you're trying to get them to read into something. You need to be more direct with him. You need to be straight up and just say, "are we just looking at friendship here, or is there potential for something more".


sounds like a mismatch


You sound whiny. Much too whiny. And you say "again, you not wanting...." so you've whined before. I suspect you whine a lot. There are no signs here that is into you or not. If you pursue, cut the whiny crap or you haven't a chance.


c'mon girl!! ask him straight don't beat it up...ur be going in circles an start confusing urself..let me help you..."relationship yea or no".. :)) jus like that..


This is not the right way to make him care about you. It's hard to say who's right or wrong, but the fact of the matter is you're appearing melodramatic.


You are the only person responsible for your own feelings. Assigning responsibility to anyone else is not only unfair, it's codependent and a sure way to scare anyone off. No one can make you feel any particular way. Anything could happen, but you are the one who chooses what you make it mean and how you react to it.

If you want a straight answer, ask a straight question. Don't try to talk emotional circles around someone and expect them to want to continue to interact with you.


you can't make someone care about you, he will do so if you become important to him.

The above is not the way to go about it. As guys the above is drama that we will run away from. Keep it simple and fun


This is a tough one. Based on the conversation you posted, I don't think you can draw a firm conclusion about what he wants. It would not be stepping out of bounds to initiate a DTR with him, in person. Don't do it via text.

I'm in a relationship right now, and my gf is amazingly psychological about everything. Girls are very emotional while guys generally are not. It doesn't sound to me like this guy is evading responsibility, but he might just sincerely not realize how intensely his behavior affects you.

So have a DTR. Tell him how you feel (confused, anxious, in the dark) but don't project your emotional upheaval on him as blame. That will overwhelm him and you won't get any resolution. Tell him that you don't know what he wants long-term, and you need him to figure that out and tell you sooner instead of later.

Always communicate stress in a relationship, but use caution when pointing a finger. If he doesn't understand what he's doing that causes you to blame him, the relationship will crumble under the weight of anger and frustration and guilt.

Are you sexually active with him? If yes, stop that. Girls are more emotionally connected to that activity than are guys. If you deprive the relationship of sexual activity, both of you will begin to have clarity into your true emotions.


He's right. He's not responsible for your feelings being all over the place. The only one who can control your feelings is you. You're letting him do this to you. He doesn't care about you feelings...there I said it, and you know shouldn't care about him.




you make yourself sound like a psycho.


Obviously we don't know the whole story here but from what you've posted, you sound way to confrontational. I understand why you're upset but you are accusing him for something that really isn't all his fault. In situations like this, I try not to say things like 'you're doing this to me', 'it's you're fault'. Instead, say 'this is how I feel'. Avoid saying YOU did this, you, you, you. Refer to yourself more often, it avoids placing blame on him.


you do sound psycho.


I'm a girl and if I was him I'd tell you to fuck off, your emotions aren't solely his fault love


Yeah you are being very confrontational and he is in no position to be responsible for your feelings at this point. YOU should be responsible for it. jeez be more independent ugh