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So I've been talking to this boy on Tinder for almost two months,...

By evelyn | Mar 29 2016

Is he into me or am I just a side girl?

Now I'm Wondering

So I've been talking to this boy on Tinder for almost two months, but we still haven't met up. He's expressed interest and has asked me out at least three times, but when it comes to the day he says he's suddenly busy and can't make it because of work (I should add he's currently doing a PhD).
Also, when we first started talking we used to talk all every single day and he would be very cute and reassure me that he really wanted to see me, and even got upset when I was busy and couldn't see him one night. However, he said he has a deadline a few weeks ago that had to be done within the next month and since then the conversation has completely dwindled - he'll disappear mid conversation (on whatsapp) and go silent for a few days.
I also noticed that he's changed his tinder profile and added a few new pictures and changed his bio recently, which he is entitled to do, but gives me suspicions that I'm just his side girl. One minute he'll be really chatty and affectionate and then disappear.
I don't get it? He started off so interested in me and now he is hot and cold all the time, and when I ask he just says he wishes he didn't have loads of work to do and that he really does want to talk to me. Is he just busy or not that interested?

5 Comments

sarajacobs

Top Commenter

29 Mar

Everybody is busy until they don't want to be. He is not so busy to where every minute of every hour in the day is booked--that's nearly impossible. The truth is that you're not a priority to him. If you were, he would've followed through with plans to see you by now. He tells you he's a PhD student, but how do you know for sure? You've never met this guy. For all you know, he's married or he's catfishing you. Stop talking to him and move on; he's wasting your time.

evelyn

29 Mar

You're right, no one is busy to the point where they have absolutely no free time - I am pretty sure he isn't cat fishing me though. We're enrolled at the same university and I have him on facebook and snapchat, which he has sent me pictures via. I'll just stop wasting my time on him now.

sarajacobs

Top Commenter

29 Mar

Good for you! I'm sorry if my advice sounded harsh--that wasn't my intention. The fact that he's wasting your time is not your fault and it can be hard to see what he's doing when you're a part of the situation. Trust me, I've been in a similar situation before. It's much easier to have an objective perspective as an outsider than it is to be experiencing the situation firsthand.

melissabrown

30 Mar

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