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Tindered

So I met this guy on tinder, and we had an instant ease with one...

By sideofnowhere | Apr 23 2016

Do I reach out to the "cool band guy", to get a second hook up, or just let him fly like the rest?

Now I'm Wondering

So I met this guy on tinder, and we had an instant ease with one another. We switched to texting and he was asking about hanging out, and not being suggestive. A couple of days go by with no contact, then he starts hitting me up again, saying he wants to hang out and hookup. I've never done something like that before, so I staved him off for a couple of days, but eventually we hung out and indeed hooked up. He didn't perform as well as we both would've hoped, and he was obviously embarrassed and apologetic. He of course claimed he'd make it up to me, and was even texting me when he got home that night. Not surprisingly, I haven't heard much from him since. I liked him, and would like to continue hooking up, but am not sure how to approach him. I'm sure he thinks I hate him, or maybe he's just too cool, but after our first couple of weeks of happy, easy texting convos, I'd really like to get back to that, and at least have one more go around with him. Am I just being crazy, should I just let this one go?

2 Comments

sarajacobs

Top Commenter

23 Apr

You hooked up with this guy once; I really doubt he's at all concerned with what you think of him. Based on how the situation unraveled, I think it's unlikely that you'll hear from him again—not because he cares about what you think of him, but more so to save himself the embarrassment related to your initial encounter. I'd let this one go. He said he'd follow up with you. He hasn't yet. Don't follow up with him to remind him you exist and to "help" him keep his promise. (This is true in all situations, not just hookups.) No matter how bad his "performance" was, if he cared, he'd be in touch. Sure, if you follow up with him, there's a slim chance that you guys will get together again, but then what happens after that? It sounds like you're more interested in rekindling whatever emotional connection you had via text than you are in sleeping with him again. Either that or you want the hookup sex to be as good as the texting conversations are...or you're hoping the hookup sex would've been better because the texting conversations were so good. I think if you reach out to him, ultimately you're going to end up disappointed because you can't keep him (with the hookups) and the texting won't be the same as it once was or it will eventually die out.

maryrolando12

Top Commenter

24 May

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