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Relationship

So I guess my question is what do I do now, I don't necessarily...

By jf123 | Mar 09 2015

Okay so I met this boy last month and we started texting and hooking up (no sex) and we went on dates met each others friends and stuff, so essentially we were dating. Apparently he really liked me and I really like him so then this past saturday he took me to the aquarium and dinner and then we came back to my dorm and just hung out and had fun. We had the talk on how far we've gone and stuff to make sure we were on the same page and he is more experienced than I am if you know what I mean but was fine with what I told him about what I am and am not comfortable doing and when I apologized he said not to worry he just doesn't want me to feel pressured or anything. I then asked him if he had or was hooking up with anyone else and I wouldn't get mad since we never agreed not to I just once again wanted to make sure we were on the same page. He said no and then asked me the same question to which I responded no as well, since I haven't nor have I wanted to. An hour or so later he said one more question and said I wasn't going to ask yet because I wasn't sure but since we've mentioned it, do you want to be exclusive. I said yeah if he wanted to and he said he wanted to as well so there we were now officially a couple. We hung out for a while longer and my roommate and her bf hung out with us then this morning he texted me hey can we talk in private at some point and I asked what about since he was making me nervous and he said about last night and some stuff he said. When he came over to talk he told me that he had lied and felt terrible he was just scared of hurting me since I had just told him the last guy I sort of dated hooked up with someone while we were essentially still sort of dating and how much it hurt. The guy today told me he had hooked up with someone because he assumed I was but it wasn't like a couple weeks ago, it was friday night and now when hes telling me this its sunday morning. He told me one of my "best friends" saw him with another girl so he assumed I knew but felt terrible lying so had to come clean and would understand if I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I said he was being too hard on himself we weren't exclusive so it's fine I am just hurt/hate the fact that he lied but respect him for now telling the truth. We agreed to continue dating since I mean first tiff the first day, bound for success at this point...but we do like each other but things are a tad tense since he feels bad and I am sad about it.

Now I'm Wondering

So I guess my question is what do I do now, I don't necessarily trust him and don't want the relationship to start off on shaky ground and I also wanna know if A) Was it my friend he hooked up with? and B) When he says hooked up what exactly does that entail like just kissed her or did he sleep with her because that's game changing since do I want to be with a guy who had sex with another girl the day he asked me to be his girlfriend...please help!

2 Comments

bluesdetoi

Top Commenter

9 Mar

Yeah you were not exclusive and yeah he wasn't your boyfriend but what a way to start off. 100% he's only telling you because this friend of yours saw him hooking up with someone else and he was terrified you'd find out. I wouldn't be his girlfriend either way, I like a guy to be sure of his exclusivity and not hooking up with randoms at least a day before he asks me to be his girlfriend, I don't know, maybe I'm just old school or you're pretty large. You should ask him what hooking up means to him, we can't tell you that.

marionemelia

Top Commenter

10 Mar

Toughie. Obvs you don't have the right to demand him to not do that, but if you were in fact dating a lot and meeting each other's friends, etc. I'd be kind of grossed out that he was hooking up with another girl. Dating, taking on a date and holding hands, maybe a peck on the lips? Okay fine. But hooking up to me means at the very least a makeout session, and that seems a little sleazy to do the day before he asks you to be his GF. I'd give him a chance but proceed with caution.

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