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Recently I saw that him, and the same girl that I hate, are STILL...

By thezone_2 | Jan 05 2015

There's a guy I was with a few years ago. We knew each other from childhood and ended up dating. Long story short, I broke up with him because he started talking to a girl I'm no liner friends with, AFTER I told him about her. He lied about it but I found out from social media. Confronted him and broke it off. He made it his business to have me in his life some way and after a year or two we became friends.

Now I'm Wondering

Recently I saw that him, and the same girl that I hate, are STILL friends with one another. She came into town and they made plan to see each other. It upset me because I'm thinking he left her alone a long time ago. And although I do not want him anymore, he gained my trust back through our friendship. He would always tell me how much he loves me and how much e wants to be with me. It was so bad that his feelings for me played a part in the end of his last relationship. I sent him a nice text and told him to forget he ever met me and to have a happy new year. I didn't want to bring old people with the same old lies into my new year. i didnt tell him why i sent the text. he responded hours later and just said "k". did i overreact? Or, considering his nonchalant response, did I say exactly what I should have?

16 Comments

andreav

Top Commenter

5 Jan

If that was his reaction you did the right thing.

incendia

6 Jan

it sounds like your coming across jealous and insecure. sorry :( sort of always having him on the defence, and by you feeling out of control by his friendship which this girl which should't matter anyway as you are not together. it sounds like what you expect from him an dyour actions don't align. you say one thing 'i'm done, goodbye forever' but really mean 'why aren't you chasing me prove your love/words etc' which is super confusing for a guy. not saying he's totally in the right but we all play a role in our dynamics and it sounds like that is one aspect at play here. Hope you can meet someone more open and suitable to your emotional needs soon! :))) you'd be happier that way!

mrsbillygil

Top Commenter

6 Jan

Its so petty and immature to hate someone and insist that your best friends hate them too. And he said "k" because he's probably sick of your BS. Sorry, harsh I know but its the truth.

bleuly1

6 Jan

I have to agree it makes no sense. Just because you don't like someone, why does it mean the people close to you can't like them if they so choose? It's an extremely petty view, and it's even more astonishing you would break up with someone over that. If he is no longer romantically involved with you because you dumped him, that's even more reason why your preferences for people should have no impact and relation on his own. Why should someone who's not dating you be obligated to give up his friends for you? Yes, you overreacted in sending that message. He responded the nonchalant way he did because you were being immature.

e8503

6 Jan

He's a douche. Don't be mad

e8503

6 Jan

Again with my response getting cut off! I meant to say don't be mad at the other girl, unless she ran over your puppy or something. He played you both so you both should let it go.

bluesdetoi

Top Commenter

6 Jan

Most of the time I would say let people be friends with whomever they want, it's not your job to dictate their life, but in some circumstances, it's necessary. I don't know what happened between you and this girl, but if she has done something to you and you feel weary of trusting a guy who has a foot in both camps, then just leave it at that and make your goodbye permanent.

andreav

Top Commenter

6 Jan

It all sounds a little childish. Unless she did something extremely serious or is into hard drugs or something dangerous, try to let the drama go. You will have to eventually when you grow up a little and it has to take a toll and be pretty exhausting for you to hold such a grudge

thezone_2

6 Jan

The girl was friends with me. Not him. Her and I used to be best friends and until she started sleeping with my boyfriends and exes. I told him about it and they didn't know each other then. I told him to let me know if she contacts him (because she knew we were together) so that way I could handle the situation. She friended him on facebook and they started becoming friends that way. I broke up with him because he lied to me about it after I already found out that they were conversing with one another through phone and texts.

thezone_2

6 Jan

It was disrespectful for him to purposefully become friends with someone I do not like and doesnt like me. I wouldnt visit and be friends with a guy I know he has issues with, that I wouldn't have otherwise known had it not been for the relationship I had with him.

2009

Top Commenter

7 Jan

What?! You are being super irrational and in my opinion owe him an apology. No one has the right to dictate who someone else is friends with. If he cheated on you that's one thing, but you are not even his girlfriend. Don't be possessive like that it's not right.

lurker

7 Jan

2009....she already said he lied to her when they were an item

0tolerance

7 Jan

People can be friends with anyone they choose, you should make amends with her and maybe you won't feel so left out. You may see she is a very good person and you just need to learn to forgive... What would Jesus do?

2009

Top Commenter

7 Jan

Lurker... And she caught him in the lie and broke up with him. A lie is a lie. It still doesn't give her the right to dictate his friends. I read the whole thing.

2009

Top Commenter

7 Jan

Also I wasn't suggesting that he cheated at any point- I was just explaining that regardless of the wrongs committed against you you STILL have no right to dictate another's friendship choices. If you don't like who he is friends with, then don't be friends with him yourself.

cath_92

10 Jan

2009 - Isn't that what she did? She didn't tell him why she's stopping communication but made the choice which was right for her. I agree with a lot of the above that its a petty and immature way of handling things but she's not asking him to choose...

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