Please can you advise me what could be driving my behaviour If...

By runawaybride_2 | Mar 10 2016

Hi guys,

I am writing because I need advice for how to handle the predicament I am in. I am engaged, and have been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years. We have a great time together, he is the sweetest and most considerate person in the world, he loves me and would do anything for me. Our families get along great and everything seems to be perfect. We have an exciting sex-life, albeit not as exciting as 2 years ago. We both have great careers and have the same future goals. The only area where we don't mesh is the fact that I'm a hopeless dreamer, someone who always wants to be fulfilled spiritually and who is always looking for inner peace, and can never find it. My fiance doesn't have that desire, and it's not something we talk about. After all, it's difficult to explain when I don't necessarily know what it is that I am searching for.

We are planning the last details for our wedding in a few months, and the closer the wedding date comes, the more terrified I am. I have found that talk of the wedding gives me knots in my stomach, makes me feel trapped and makes me lose attraction and devotion to my fiance. I have never cheated on him, but I have noticed that I've started noticing other guys more and I have a strong urge to be with someone else sexually and passionately, it's almost like I am planning how and with whom to do it. I can't get it out of my head, it consumes me and I have no idea how to bring it up to my fiance - or if I even should. He would be heartbroken. The idea of losing him and not being with him is equally as scary to me, if I ever saw him with another woman I would be heartbroken too.

I can easily imagine a life where we don't get married and where I am free to explore myself and what life has in store for me. I have a much harder time imaging myself as someone's wife, someone's mother and someone who has everything mapped out. But where we are currently; everything is planned and paid for, guests are invited to our destination wedding, and it seems like pulling it is impossible, and I don't even know if I want to.

I should say I am 29 years old, and this is the first really long relationship I've had. I've dated guys for longer periods, but never with the amount of commitment in my current relationship. I cry every day, and my fiance is noticing that I'm affected, but he thinks it's just wedding jitters and that everything will be fine. It might just be wedding jitters, I don't know. I used to be excited about our engagement, but I dread everything about it now. I don't want to be married, it feels like I'm walking voluntarily into a prison. But I also don't want to lose my fiance, whom I adore wholeheartedly.

Now I'm Wondering

Please can you advise me what could be driving my behaviour? If anyone has any insight into the psychology behind this type of anxiety, I'd really appreciate it. This past week I've had difficulty breathing whenever I think of my future as "wife" and would do anything for a month of freedom from commitment. Maybe I just need a break to realize what I'll be losing if I don't go through with it?



10 Mar

Have you tried talking to a therapist? There may be deeper issues here that need addressing.


10 Mar

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Top Commenter

10 Mar

Ask yourself - Why are you getting married?


14 Mar

My Dear, that spiritual void you are experiencing, it needs to be filled with the Love, Peace, and Joy of Jesus Christ. He is not in your life, that's why you are seeking it from your Fiancé and, unfortunately, from other men, to give you that sweet feeling. This feeling is only temporal Love because, you will find yourself searching again. I'm 27 (female) also engaged, and I have lived many years depending on the opposite sex, and life accomplishments to make me feel satisfied. But sans Jesus, it is a vicious cycle, that leaves one confused and disheartened. What is also wonderful is that Jesus will help you to remain faithful to your Fiancé/Husband. My advice is that you and your Fiancé speak to a Pastor. Just explain how you feel, in or in the absence of your Fiancé. All the best Hon.


15 Mar

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17 Mar

My lover of 6 years mysteriously broke-up our fun filled relationship because of a girl he met in a public restroom. He changed weeks later after that day from the man I fell in love with to a monster that argues and beat woman. He started like someone that is controlled by strange power, visiting the new girl more often than his work, keep borrowing money from friends, and trying to please his mistress. I had a dream when I saw his mistress with a knife trying to kill me, I quickly wokeup and found myself outside my house with blood stain on my neck at midnight. I didn’t know how it happened and I never stepped my foot outside that night because I was alone throughout that day. With heavy fear that night, I remembered Dr. Wakina, the spell doctor who helped my sister via Dr. Wakina laughed and told me that the girl has held him with evil spell, doc said my lover was blinded spiritually, always being controlled and she also wanted me dead. It was all confirmed to be true before doc destroyed her evil powers and cast the love spell, it took just 5 days to get him back into my arms, the love spell worked beyond my expectations, the so called lady pleaded to us for forgiveness. I never thought my problem could be solved.


26 Mar

I can't believe that RunawayBride_2 has such a serious question and all the losers here are promoting some quack therapists... @ RUNAWAYBRIDE_2, what are your current thoughts? Any further developments over these past couple of weeks? When is the wedding date?


5 Apr

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Top Commenter

12 Apr

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29 May

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