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Over 4 years ago I went to another country for a big festival...

By iamkara | Feb 18 2016

Over 4 years ago I went to another country for a big festival where I met a guy...

Now I'm Wondering

Over 4 years ago I went to another country for a big festival where I met a guy, let's call him Nick, we had a connection, made out and it was fun! He added me on FB so we were chatting a little when I was back home to my country. We couldn't go see each other mostly because none of us could admit that we want that. I wasn't in love, but I still remember how good it felt to be with him, the kissing part was amazing and the day after I was on a pink cloud. All this 4 years I always unconsciously I was comparing other guys to what I felt with Nick, it was simply like my own scale for kissing experience "from 0 to Nick". And no one was even close to Nick. All this time I thought Nick was just a damn good kisser! I saw on fb he found himself a girlfriend and I was happy for him, but we didn't talk anymore, the festival and all this was an old story...

Until recently he messaged me! He said he wants to come to my country to see me and do things we didn't do the first time haha :) He still has a girlfriend and he is planning on cheating. He says he felt the connection with me too, like it for real was special... And I'm really surprised, after all this years he has a crush on me and wonders if we should be together?

If we meet, he will be cheating on his girlfriend, but what if me & him actually have something special? I mean if 4 years old kiss makes him doubt his looong relationship with a girlfriend, that must be one hell of a kiss (buy that I mean the connection ant the chemistry between us).

So should I meet with him or not?

7 Comments

sarajacobs

Top Commenter

18 Feb

This guy "Nick" sounds like something else that rhymes with his name...just saying. (For the record, please know that I'm not trying to be mean to you, but I feel like you need candid, blunt feedback if you're going to take this advice seriously.) With that said, you're fooling yourself if you think meeting this guy is going to mean anything special to him. If he truly wanted you instead of his girlfriend (and if he had any character whatsoever), he'd break up with her before pursuing things with you. Instead, he's keeping you on the sidelines as the backup girl while making you believe you're a priority for him. This guy sounds like a dog. Why would you want to be with someone who is willing to cheat? Chances are really good that he'll do to you what he plans to do to his current girlfriend if you and he get together; chances are also probably good that he's cheated before. He is using you (if you don't believe me, then ask him why he doesn't dump his girlfriend before kissing and doing "things" with you when he comes to visit). Part of me would like to think you already know you're being used, but it sounds like the infatuation is just that strong and/or you've fooled yourself into thinking that if you're somehow enough (if you're pretty enough, if you care enough about him, if you show enough interest in him, if the kissing is good enough, if the sex is hot enough, and so on), then you can convince him to leave his girlfriend and fully commit to you. He hasn't fully committed to her--don't expect that he'll do anything different with you. Additionally, he should not be the one determining your value and whether or not you're "enough." Stop talking to this guy--block him on social media and block any other forms of contact you have with him. You're still infatuated with him more than four years after you first met him and you're only going to put yourself through more heartache and emotional turmoil if you actually meet up with him. Don't do that to yourself; have some self respect. But to answer your original question—if you can deal with him using you, if you can handle the strong possibility that this will be a one-night stand, if you can tolerate a man disrespecting you and not recognizing your value, if you are prepared to put yourself through emotional hell, if you are okay with continuing to compare every person you will meet down the road to "Nick," someone who doesn't love or respect you, then by all means, meet up with this guy.

iamkara

19 Feb

wow that's a damn good advice! right on point!

iamkara

19 Feb

oh come on, I know he's bad! Maybe I'm not an angel either! and no, I'm not over-romanticising the kiss, it was good... I said I don't like the guy, I mean his personality, I just like the chemistry between us.

kimmyk321

22 Feb

Kara -- obviously you do like this guy. lie to yourself all you want but you have feelings for him or you wouldnt still be thinking about a singular kiss you had 4 YEARS ago. he is bad and honestly (think I am a bitch if you want) but you are bad too for even considering letting him cheat on his girlfriend with you. What if this was reversed? how would you feel? i agree with jhops and sara -- move on and block this guy because nothing I MEAN NOTHING good will come from it

ernestbrown

16 Mar

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ernestbrown

16 Mar

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morrisann

Top Commenter

12 Apr

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