My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We started...

By nicolej_2 | Jun 19 2016

Do I stay with my long term boyfriend that I love, even though he has been text cheating on me the entire time and I didn't know it?

Now I'm Wondering

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We started dating our junior year in high school. In the first 3 months of dating i found out he was texting/sexting his ex and I confronted him,telling him it was completely not okay. He promised he wouldn't do it again and as far as I know it didn't. I have just found out that our freshman year of college (we lived together going to the same college) he was texting a girl I knew from high school. Texting, sexting, and inviting her to come see him for the weekend to go to a party. (even though it wouldn't have been physically possible because we were always together). That situation stopped when the girl's boyfriend found out and made her stop. I also just now found out that rumors are going around from people I went to school with but don't really know, that he still tries to text girls, give them his number on Facebook, and text them all the time. And it isn't 'innocent' texting.

It just baffles me because it came out of no where. I thought we were so happy, I never was suspicious of anything like this. But now it makes sense that he always keep his phone on him and won't ever let me see it. Or his laptop.

The twist in this though is that right now(the last 2 days) my boyfriend and I are not talking because he is mad at me because he saw that i had a brief conversation with my ex about his mom (who is a close family friend). I am being honest when I say not a thing was inappropriate in these texts. Not even an emoji or smily face. My boyfriend said he didn't know what to do and if we "didn't already have trips planned this summer with both of our families he would blow up on me". I have found out all of this information yesterday. So while he thinks he is the one in control of this fight because he has dirt on me, I have a truck load of stories of him that he doesn't know that I know.

My questions are what in the world do I do. Do I deserve better? Do I forget a loving 3.5 year long relationship and risk finding someone out there that I can have the same amount of happiness with? Maybe someone that would do romantic things for me or spend time with my family unlike my current boyfriend? Do I give him another chance? If I did give him another chance how in the world do I trust him again? It's like he has had a secret life on his phone the entire time we have been together.

I feel completely stuck and would love if anyone could give me some feedback... I would really appreciate it.


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