Is he really that into me...

By meagan94 | May 01 2016

So I had been talking to this guy for about 2 months on and off. We spoke for a bit and then we stopped talking. I added him on Facebook and then we started talking again for about 3 weeks. He is a police officer and works shift work. After 2 weeks we saw each other and I said to him can we meet again this week? He said "yes on Thursday." Thursday came and he didn't even ask me out (I know he might of been busy working but I thought he would) he talked to me on that day and didn't talk about it at all. We talked for a bit then he didn't reply back to my message and then 2 days later he sent me a message starting a conversation. I asked him are we ever going to meet again? and he wrote back "I hope so". Its been 3 weeks since then and I have not received a response nor have I sent him a message. I really do like him but I'm not sure what he wants. Should I send him a message or let him chase me?

Now I'm Wondering

Is he really that into me?



Top Commenter

4 May

I don't think he's interested; he's very passive with his responses--"I hope so" vs. something along the lines of, "Yes, I want to see you. How about we do [activity] on [day or another timeframe--e.g., this week]?" His passive responses say to me he doesn't care and you aren't a priority to him. He agrees to wanting to see you ("yes on Thursday") but he's not following through to make plans, which is something he should do if he's interested. It's almost as though he expected you to follow up to ask about when you guys were meeting on Thursday. There's no use in doing that, either now or in the future, because then you're basically reaching out to remind him that you exist and you're begging him to spend time with you. My guess is that he likes the attention you give him, which is why he starts conversations but won't invest the time to take you out on a proper date--because a proper date would involve not only time and energy for him, but also money. I encourage you to find someone who will respect you more and value you more as a person. I feel like the longer you hang around this guy and the more time you invest into convincing him to like you, the more you're lowering your standards for how you want to be treated in the future. In other words, this guy may be setting the precedent for guys in the future when you think to yourself, "Well [guy in the future] doesn't treat me super well, but that's ok because [reference to last guy]." Basically, by continuing to invest in this guy when he's not doing the same for you, you're building your tolerance for BS--and that's not a good thing. When you know and appreciate your value, you'll be willing to put up with less crap from guys. Sure, this may mean fewer dates--but in the end, you'll be treated better by guys. And it's much better to be single than to attempt to date (or be with) someone who doesn't treat you well.

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