By confizled | Apr 27 2016
What should I do? Why is he acting like this?
Now I'm Wondering
I asked this guy out about 7 weeks ago. When I did, he said "Yeah, sure! How's Friday?" immediately. But then a few hours later he texted me, saying, "Hey, so I found out I can't make it on Friday because of baseball" (seperate text) "Sorry I was in a hurry earlier and didn't think about it". Then I texted, "Oh that's ok, I understand. Are you available Saturday?" Then he said, "Sorry, same issue" (seperate text) "I legit can't do anything until the end of the season". I replied, "It's cool I understand completely". A minute or so later he texted, "Most stuff is in the evenings" and then seemed to be texting more. I waited for him to finish but the "..." symbol dissapeared after about 2 minutes of being there and I didn't know what to say. I just didn't say anything in response.
That weekend, his Saturday game was cancelled (he posted about it on Snapchat). I snapchatted him, saying "Aww that sucks". He responded immediately and we had a conversation, albeit a very short one.
The following weeks were super awkward. I figured that since I had asked him out, he knew I liked him. This made me more nervous and I no longer knew how to act around him. He seemed to think the same... We saw each other in the halls but didn't really say hi. We just glanced at the other and walked past. I said hi to him a few times and every time I did he said "oh, hi!" back, as if he was surprised I was talking to him. I didn't really know what to do. I wasn't sure if I had been rejected or not, and I knew he was busy, so I just kind of gave him his space.
I did talk to him a few times. Both times with people there. Both times quite awkward. During one, we laughed at an inside joke we had and smiled and looked at each other. During the other, the girl who was speaking with us left. the conversation became awkward, and his friend walked past. He proceeded to make a b-line to talk to this friend, who left after about 30 seconds. We then sat outside the school, alone, waiting for our parents for 10 minutes. He glanced up a couple times but when he saw that I saw him he looked back down at his phone.
A couple weeks after I had asked him out, something else happened. As I mentioned, it was the baseball season. It was also the track and field season and I am a runner. At a meet, I made friends with this girl. It was my first ever 400m race and I was super nervous. She helped me feel better about it. As we were about to run, the start guy called my name to make sure I was in my lane. I have a very distinctive last name, and she remarked on how cool it was. I said thanks and we were about to race. I false started. Then, we sat in anticipation of the guy, she said, "Oh I know where I've heard your name before! He was talking about you!" Then the gun went off and I had to race. After the race, I found her and asked her about it. Turns out, a couple of weeks before I had asked him out, he had been talking about me with her. She had asked him who was on the debate team and he said I was: the girl with the awesome last name that makes way for an even cooler nickname. She didn't know me, so he described me. Of course, she still didn't know me. He then told her how nice, smart, and funny I am.
After she told me this, the girl figured out that I liked him (my face I guess). She then made it her life's mission to get us together. She asked him about it the next day. She apparently went up to him and said, "Oh remember that girl you told me about? I met her." He apparently denied ever talking about me. But she didn't listen and told him that she agreed with his assessment: I am nice, smart, and funny. He agreed with her again and that was it.
Later, she took a selfie of the two of us on Snapchat. We looked particularly good, so I asked her to send it to me. She said she would send it to him, to which I told her not to. She told me she wouldn't, but did anyways. He opened it but didn't respond. (However, he usually does this.)
A couple weeks later, there was a concert at our school. She knew he was going, so we planned on going together and seeing him there. But a couple days before, she talked to him. She asked him if he was going, to which he said yes, then told him that she was going with me and asked if we were friends. It had been about 5 weeks since I asked him out. He said (irate, since she caught him before baseball and insisted that he speak with her), "we're acquaintances at most. Now I've got to get to baseball practice," and walked away.
Then, this Wednesday during lunch, she walked up to him to talk to him. His friend asked, "Is this the crazy girl?" To which he said, "She's not crazy and no this isn't her." My friend then begged that he tell her who the girl is, and he said it was me. She saw this as a way to have a conversation about me. She asked, "didn't she ask you out?" to which he said yes. "Didn't you say yes?" to which he said yes. "Didn't you then cancel because you were busy?" He then said, "It's not like I didn't want to go out with her; I'm just super busy." She then told him to "make a move" and talk to me. He said he was too busy. She asked him why he couldn't just talk to me, before practice, before school, after practice. He said he was too busy.
It has been 7 weeks. Last Thursday, before another one of my races--my first 800m--the friend came and got me. She asked me to follow her to the bathroom. I was obviously annoyed, as I was stressed out and I didn't see why I had to go with her to the bathroom. Then I found out why she had dragged me over: he was in front of the bathrooms. She went up and said hi to him. I said to her, "I'm just going to go to the bathroom." I went to the bathroom, hung out for about 2 minutes, and walked out. Then I went up to her and said, "I think I should head back." I completely ignored him and walked back to the start line, as I was about to race in a few minutes.
Later, I asked her what he had said while I was in the bathroom and after I had left. She said that after I went into the bathroom, she teased him and said, "You need to learn how to talk to girls." He then said, "I don't care." (He then changed the subject and asked her why she was so annoying and didn't she remember stalking him in 7th grade? And the like).
I talked to her afterwards. She says I should get over him and that she doesn't think he wants a relationship. Some of my other friends say that I probably hurt his ego and that's why he said he didn't care. Idk.
Then, the next morning, he outright avoided me. He usually goes to his 1st period class 20 minutes before school starts and hangs out. My friends share his 1st period, so I go with them and see him. Today, he went to this study hall area and didn't go to his first period until about 2 minutes before school started. I felt really bad; like I had hurt his feelings by so outwardly avoiding conversation.
I decided to tell him I had nothing to do with what the friend was doing. I didn't want him to associate what the friend was doing with me. I tried to do it in person on Friday but I couldn't and I figured that texting could lead to in-person conversation. Sunday afternoon, I sent, "Hey, (so and so) told me about how she's been bothering you and I just wanted you to know that I had nothing to do with it. I've actually been trying to avoid you... that's all."
He opened it and read it but didn't respond. He does this a lot, but I figured he would respond to something like this.
Also, my friend and I started a lettuce club at our school and he's been very excited for it. Then, on Monday, he snapchatted a picture of a sign at our school that said "start a new club" with the caption "#lettuceclub". A bunch of other kids have been starting rival lettuce clubs at our school, so I chatted him and said "Are you starting a lettuce club, too? Cause if you are that means there are like 4 lettuce clubs now lol" And he opened it immediately and didn't reply.
Also, today (Tuesday) after practice, my friends and I walked past him. I got really nervous because I saw him and I started loudly flirting with my guy friend. He glanced over a couple times and when I looked back as we were walking away he was looking at me for a while. Don't know if this means anything but I thought I should add it.
I'm honestly confused as hell. Before all of this, we were pretty good friends. We laughed, we flirted, we talked all the time. We had inside jokes. We touched each other for stupidly long amounts of time and played footsie at one point. He seemed really into me; that's why I asked him out. I can't tell if I was rejected or not. I know he was busy (he's in all honors/AP classes, leadership, debate team, has 3 baseball games a week and practice every day. He's also super ambitious and does a lot of cool stuff on the side that gets him featured in our local newspaper very often). I don't know if I messed it all up or if he was just disinterested from the start. And I don't know what to do.
Baseball season ends in 2 weeks. School ends in 8. AP finals come, then the other finals, then standardized tests. Then it's summer. He RSVP'ed to my lettuce club on the last day of school, so I know he's coming and I'll see him then. Still, I don't know what to do in the meantime or if I should do anything.
Also, next year he's PR for the debate team and I'm PR assistant. We're both sophomores; 15 years old.