amandamoraisdesouza

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I'm Brazilian and I've met this guy on Tinder while I was in London, we had an awesome and perfect date and he suggested that we kept in contact through Facebook and Whatsapp, which we've been doing for over two months now... I may have a crush on him, but I'm cool about it because I know we are far way and all.
The thing is: he is ALWAYS the last one o text, even if it's just an emoticon or a laugh. And I start 95% of our conversations.
Even tough he make questions and stuff, being always the one the starts the conversations annoys me.
That's why I decided to stop texting him. But after some time without talking (from one up to three week), he would text me and we would keep chatting as nothing happened.

Why does he act like this? Should I stop talking with him forever and ignoring him when he texts?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I always start the conversations, he always ends them, does it mean something?

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seniana

I think he likes you. But maybe the distance keeps him from expecting anything and making plans. What´s are you talking about? Are you just friends or do you talk more clearly about your attraction for him?

amandamoraisdesouza

Most of out talks are friendly... We tease each other once in a while, but joking. I don't talk about my attraction for him because I don't understand why he keeps in contact with me, what's on his mind and well, I'm aware of the geographical complications.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Who knows? He could be texting because he is bored or he wants to see if you will respond. My question to you is: you obviously know nothing can come out of this because of the distance, why continue to text him? Allow yourself the opportunity to meet someone near you. Get back on Tinder, and meet people near you.

amandamoraisdesouza

Hey guys, I just would like to thank you. Reading your honest opinions helped me to see things clearly and stop having silly thoughts on it :)

reasonablyrowdy

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So, this guy is someone who I have hung out with occasionally because we happened to have a mutual friend. We started talking to each other about a month and a half, two months ago and I can say that we do click. I openly flirt with him, he openly flirts with me, we have nicknames for each other and he did tell me about a dream he had in which he got me pregnant with his child, which was how the nicknames started (momma and daddy). He's a really sweet guy, he was strung around by our mutual friend for three years almost because he had feelings for her, so when I do try to flirt with him, he withdraws a few times but I'm patient and I get why. I don't know where it's going at the moment. I know where I want it to go and I really do like him (I myself liked our mutual friend's brother for some time) but I feel as if I get varying signals from him. He and I had a conversation a few days ago where I said I was frustrated, he got the hint that he was frustrating me, and he indeed acted concerned about it and asked me what was honestly bothering me. I didn't tell him that I like him/am developing feelings/feel a little on the fence about what we really are because I've had a guy get scared off before by me being honest about my feelings and thoughts after some time of talking. I dodged the question but now I felt like I should have been a little honest. We have an inside joke (our "child") and we can have some extremely interesting conversations but most of the time, I'm the one trying to fuel it and he's usually the one responding with one word and it makes me feel like giving up once in a while. He has let me in at some instances and I can safely say we're friends, but I recently realized I've formed perhaps a small emotional attachment. I will say, though, that we have gotten a little explicit with each other over the phone. No pictures but there has been some texting and both of us enjoy it. That wasn't the primary reason we even began talking, though, it was just because we found each other interesting. Neither of us have cars at the moment due to financially prioritizing other things but he is a measly half hour away (which is definitely a shorter distance compared to CT and CA) and he does text me a second time if I don't get back to him soon. I'm just wondering whether I'm reading things right or wrong or if his intentions with me are romantic, because he can be that type of guy. And also, I've had more relationships with women than I've had with men (he is aware of this) so I don't wanna get too hopeful about things because of any misinterpretation.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm just wondering if this is heading to a positive place or if perhaps he wants something else from me.

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

The flirting, "sexy" dreams don't mean squat. He's not asking you out after 1.5 - 2 months of texting. I have mentioned this to a lot of girls. If you like someone, you would want to see them in person, not just text them. He lives just half an hour away, not like he needs to get on a plane to see you. You have to initiate the conversation and keep it going because he gives one-word replies. The boy is not interested. Don't waste your time. Drop it.

northeastchick

I think you need to have a talk with him he is clearly asking you in the text what are you frustrated about. He is not a mind reader ...sometimes we need to right out say what we want and see what happens. If you like him more than a friend tell him then the ball is in his court. If he distances himself then you know he is not interested.......if he starts making an effort than maybe that is what needed to happen!

annastasia0207

I agree with @northeastchick. I know you don't want to ruin your friendship with him and make it awkward, but if it's bothering and frustrating you this much, it's much healthier for you to get it off your chest. It definitely sounds like he is flirting with you and has some idea that you are interested, so it's not like the question would be totally out of left field. The fact that you're getting frustrated about the situation, letting him know, and he automatically knows you're talking about him, shows that you guys have gotten beyond the "just friends" phase anyways.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

I think you need to be honest with him, and not play games like above. Are you trying to make him think you are dating someone else? Or that you are not interested? Be straight with the guy. He may be waiting for some encouragement from you, and that negative vague stuff you posted is NOT it.

reasonablyrowdy

He knows he's the only guy I'm talking to at the moment. But I know I should be more blunt and I am now. We've gotten closer a lot recently and now he's dropping subtle hints that he wants more, too. The only reason I'm still hesitant is because he's not into conversing with me about feelings and it makes me think he either doesn't have any for me or he doesn't want to address it. I'm thinking of blatantly blurting it out one of these days and saying, "You know, Devin, I really like you. And not only as my friend."

2isbetterthan1

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I studied abroad in Paris last fall and I was dating a french guy while I was there. He sent me two smiley emoticons and then sent this message on facebook. I replied, but he didn't say anything back. However, he liked my profile picture randomly a week after I had already posted it. I also know he doesn't really use is facebook much--he literally only has like 3 profile pics and the most recent one is from 2012!

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Why would he message me and then not respond, but then go and like my picture ?? Is he playing games or what? We didn't exactly end on the best terms the night before I left, so I was a little shocked that he even sent me this message to begin with.

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He's doing just enough to keep you around, without putting in too much effort

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Maybe he didn't reply because he has no plans to visit you....but is liking your photos because he would like to see you again if you visit him.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Liking your pics on social media has got nothing to do with him liking you. If he is not making plans to see you, then no, he is not into you. Texting is easy. Let me repeat what I have told many girls here: he can be texting you while in bed with someone else, while at the bar when he is bored, while he is taking a dump, while he is in a meeting at work. So don't play him games. No meet up in person = not interested.

2isbetterthan1

I mean I was joking when I asked when he's coming to visit me...Because I live all the way in California. So I know It would be extremely expensive for him to come. I just get really annoyed when guys text first and sound super anxious to talk to you and then after don't respond. Like what was the point of reaching out to begin with? Lol

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Because he wants attention

xhugsandwishes

They like to keep you around. I dated someone in France this summer on my study abroad too. They want to keep you in the picture if you come back around.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

The point of reaching out was just to see if you would reply, I agree he just checking he's still got your attention.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Regardless of whether you two were joking, it doesn't matter. International flights are so affordable these days. There's no such thing as "too expensive" if someone is interested. It only is expensive if there is no interest. He only misses you and is keen if you go over to see him because he does not need to spend anything. Does that answer your question? Block and delete. Waste of time chatting with him.

seniana

He want to see you. But if he can't right now he doesn't see the point in talking to you. Maybe if you see each other he'll gent more interested in you and will chat with you even when you're away.

sadcookie

HERE'S THE DEAL...

My best friend is a male. We talk for hours every day and he tells me all his deep secrets. I feel strongly about him, but I have never told him explicitly. We could never really be together anyway, because we both come from separate (but equally strict) cultural backgrounds and our families wouldn't be cool with an intermarriage.

Anyway, yesterday he started telling me about a girl he met at work and suggesting that he might like her. I did feel insecure at that point because she is very knowledgable about things like politics which I am not so well informed about. (He's big on political discussions too.)

Some of the messages we exchanged are below - please read them from left to right. I have tried to include most of the relevant points of our conversation, but left out texts in between that were about something else.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Do you think he could be telling me about this girl just to tease me, incite jealousy in me and gauge my feelings about him? He knows I fall for things quite easily so he likes to play little jokes on me sometimes... I'm confused and upset and yes, I admit it, jealous :( I don't know what to do.

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sadcookie

Sorry, I forgot to add that my texts are in green. Also, there was is one text of mine which got a bit cut off in the screenshot. He told me to call him (to wake him up in the morning) and I said in a jealous huff "Maybe you should get (name of girl) to call you instead." Have I reacted like an idiot to this whole thing? I'm so confused :(

andreav

He sounds like kind of a jerk. You can call it "teasing" if you want but really he is just playing into your insecurities and trying to make you feel bad and bring down your self esteem.

mrsbillygil

I agree w Andrea that he's a jerk. I think he gets that you like him and enjoys the attention. I dont really see why you are such good friends with this guy if he usually acts like this.

mrsbillygil

Also it's clear that he's trying to make you jealous. What isn't clear is whether he's doing it because he likes you or because he actually has a big crush on this girl and wants to rub it in your face. Either way, it's pretty harsh.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He doesn't like you, he just likes the attention

annastasia0207

I agree with everyone above. He says "Don't be jelly" after all you've said is "OMG really". To me, it sounded like you were actually really excited for him but he knew that your reaction was a negative, jealous reaction. In essence, he went into explicit detail about this girl because he knew it would make you jealous. Regardless of whether or not he's into you or not, do you really want to date a guy that makes you feel like crap just because it will boost his ego? He sounds like a major jerk and I think you should drop this guy. Feelings or no feelings, friends don't intentionally hurt other friends to get an ego boost.

annastasia0207

Also, I really don't like how he's making you look dumb because this girl knows more about politics than you do. I'm assuming whatever political leader they were talking about, you didn't know who that was? He wouldn't have brought that up unless he knew it would make you feel stupid. Which is really rude of him to do.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

I agree 100% with annastasia (and the other posters above) and I feel really sad that he was able to hurt you so much with his comments. The easiest thing for you to do is to move on and find a guy who is kind, respectful, would never be intentionally mean to you, and who your parents accept.

melissaj126

HERE'S THE DEAL...

This guy I am talking to told me he had a friends with benefits. We aren't together so there isn't much I can do.. He told me this on the phone last night and I stopped answering his texts and he blew up my phone. About he will stop talking to her, and I can go through his phone.. Etc here is the latest text!

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he into me or not? Do I give him a chance? Thoughts please!

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annastasia0207

I think you should give him a chance, but let him know that you don't want to get in a relationship right away. If he agrees that it's fair and agrees to stop talking to the other girl, then I think you should seriously give it a chance because he seems like he really wants to give you guys a good shot. If he doesn't break it off with the other girl after you tell him you don't want a relationship straight away, then I would drop him because it means he is just using you as a fail-safe plan to always have a girl to hook up with.

kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

I don't think you should give him a chance. He is only saying what he thinks you want to hear. Trust me he will never give up this friends with benefits situation. Find a guy that only wants to be with you and does not believe in FWB type arrangements.

upandup143

I think you should give him a chance. But keep the dates outside of the home/bedroom. Don't let his "chance" be too physial too early.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

You just met this guy, didn't you? If so, the only mistake this guy made was telling you about this other girl. It's perfectly fine that he hooks up with someone else when he didn't even know you, isn't it? He should have kept quiet about it and started dating you and ended things with her without mentioning it to you. But what's done is done... if you give him a chance and he tells you he's no longer seeing this girl, then please make sure to drop the subject. Trust him until he gives you a reason not to. Seems like he's being really honest so far.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Give him a chance if you like him.

lola_5

Marionemelia is right. He's only slipped up by being too honest. Give him a chance if you feel like you want to, but don't be too harsh, he hasn't done anything wrong yet.

thejayman

Sounds like the clumsy fool, made it up! Either because he thought it would impress you or because he thought you would somehow want to become his next friends with benefits. I'll bet she doesn't even exist FWB are very rare in reality.

undercoverww

If you like him, give him a chance. But keep it out of the bedroom for a couple of months at least! He may have made this up to get some fire up your ass so that you sleep with him faster. Don't give him that unless he deserves it, let him wait.

seniana

He wasn't interesting in anybody so where is the problem un havons FWB? Now he met you and wan't YOU to be the only one. He made a mistake telling you about her, I think he wanted to show you how much he is into you, but he didn't pick the right argument clearly :/ . Give him a chance he is honest.

itsalwaysnever

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So this guy I met on Tinder ask me to hang out with him and yesterday he said that he won't be seeing me anymore and it was really nice meeting me hoping I wasn't wasting my time with him. So I texted him morning after the text that it was nice meeting him. Anyways, after that he texted me that Hi, is it too late to say I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say. I also have ended a relationship three months ago. Should I inform him that too?

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Do you think he's worth keeping and should I text him?

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annastasia0207

Ew I dont like this guy. He ends it with you telling you its not going to work out, then changes his mind and just expects you to agree to o get pizza with him last minute? I wouldn't even respond back to this one. It sounds like he found another girl that he was more interested in so he broke it of with you and then when it didn't work out with her, came back to you. Don't be option B and if nothing else, at least don't get pizza with him tonight. That's showing him that he has control, can dump you and then make last minute plans with you when he changes his mind because he expects you'll be waiting at his beck and call for him. Ew seriously, I wouldn't even reply to this guy and move on.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He ditched you for another girl, then when things didn't work out with her he's coming back to you. The same thing happened to me before :/.

itsalwaysnever

Later.. He texted me...

I can understand if I've confused or upset you. If you're not comfortable with tonight or have other plans maybe we could meet up some other time.

I don't know what to say please help. :(

jazzfishy

Agree that he found another girl and then that fell through so hes back to you. Show him youre in charge!

upandup143

ugh. no. he invites you out, say's he doesn't want to date you, then takes it back and invites you out again? no no no. He's too confused so early on. You don't need that. his confused state will only get worse and you don't want to be left high and dry by him should you date him more. Just tell him sorry, you have plans and don't offer to reschedule

upandup143

He messed up. too bad for him, he doesn't get to have his cake and eat it too. There WILL be other guys other there and those guys will not pull this weird bull at the very bud of a possible relationship.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Agree with all the others. He's told you he is emotionally unavailable. BELIEVE IT. Do not accept the last minute pizza offer and either text him a really short message like "sorry got plans" or unmatch him.

tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

Man, this guy has pretty thick skin. Agreed with everyone else. I really hope that you didn't agree to meet him last minute or ever.

shesnotstarry

I agree with the other ppl, this seems really suspicious..

romana79

HERE'S THE DEAL...

so people read ... we have talked to each other for 2 months ... at the second week he told me that we are friends and I approved , said : "of course we are etc ... " at first we used to talk a lot , a lot , used to send to each other novels about different stuffs ... then we kinda stoped ( not totally but kinda ) ... we talked to each other for 15 days every day , then stoped talking for 10 days and then he wrote me first ... then again we talked for 15 - 16 days , stoped talking for 4 days then wrote me again after 4 days ... then again ( sorry if it looks boring :D ) we continued talking for 12-13 days and then again stoped talking for 7 days he wrote me again first , then stoped talking abt 10 days and I wrote him first this time ( i wouldn't but he had an important event these days and i thought it would be kind of me to ask how it is going .. ) we are talking now ... but I don't know ... He talks to me ... He thinks I am cute ... sometimes when i say smth , he sends : :) :P ... i see he tries to keep the conversation going , but every time he sends me those i feel like he doesn't want to talk ... He has told me that he really likes talking to me ... he is 4 years older , 21 and 17 ... I don't think he needs me as a friend ... i mean ... i don't know that's whaat my logic tells me for now ... we talk a lot like friends ...

NOW I'M WONDERING...

but i have no idea ... more time that it passes i think i am making it more obvious that i like him ... is this wrong ? what should i do ?

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lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

It's not wrong to like somebody, but he is giving you no signals that he returns your feelings. You can't make somebody like you. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it's just the way it works. It might be the age difference, too, you're very young for him. Look for someone nice your own age.

deadhearts

This exact thing has happened to me. I understand how it's hard to let go, but sometimes it's what needs to happen. Who knows? Maybe there's another guy waiting out there for you?

oriansky

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm been seeing this guy he is 47 years old and I'm 37 , we been dating over a month , we hang out a lot at least one day during the week and the whole weekend pretty much , we are Intimate and chemistry is there , is just hard for me to read him , one of the things is that he already introduce me to his brother and his sister in law, and another weekend we went out with his best buddy's from his back home town , some days he texted and he is kind of sweet , other times is just what's up( something I hate ) lol but I'm no sure what we are ? Should I ask him about us? Should I wait maybe another month to see if he will ask me to be his girlfriend , I don't know if because he knows I like him , he acts like that sometimes or is just me been dramatic . :/ what should i do ?

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Ask him

jhops TOP COMMENTER

You could ask general question about what his r/s goals are, then tell him your r/s goals. It sounds good if he's introducing people close to him to you anyway.

annastasia0207

At 47 years old, I would think he's dating for something serious at this point, not just to date around and play games so I don't think asking him straight up what you guys are will scare him away.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Disagree with @annastasia0207. Everyone has different r/s goals at different points in their life. Best not to assume. Some 20-somethings could be looking for something serious, and some 40-50 somethings who have done it all may not want anything serious anymore. Any updates?

oriansky

thank you all for your comments , is been hard to read this guy, he came for dinner the other day and we had a good time , I'm seeing him tomorrow we are going to the movies and then Later to his place I think I'm going to Ask him what stage are we , I like him but I don't want to invest my time if he is no sure we are been dating , intimate about this time you know what you really want ....
Thank you all I will keep posted what happen after this weekend ;) 😉

fromchaos85

HERE'S THE DEAL...

We have been officially in a committed relationship for four months now but have know each other since middle school.

The texts before these read as follows...
Him: I'll tell you like this
Him: I love you like
Me: like what?

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does he really love me and I'm just trippin?

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fromchaos85

I know it's sounds all good it just feels like he's a little distant lately. He still texts everyday all day and calls multiple times a day. Idk maybe it's just cause I used to get sweet texts all the time or maybe the honeymoon phase is just over abs we are settling into a more normal routine. Idk

annastasia0207

If he's calling you MULTIPLE times a day, he is definitely not being distant. It seems like he is still very much in love with you but maybe he just doesn't feel like he needs to give you sweet texts all the time because he knows that you already know how in love with you he is and doesn't feel like he has to validate it to you AS MUCH. But if he's sending you these kinds of texts at least periodically and calling you that much, he still is validating you and making sure that you know, so it doesn't seem like there's much to worry about here.

fromchaos85

You're probably right. But we a rocky month last month and it almost ended. I guess thats probably part of my problem. I just need to calm down and let things be. We worked everything out and he straight up said he didn't want things to be over. I guess I'm just scared things are gonna take turn and I won't be so lucky this time. I need to get outs my own head and quit over

annastasia0207

I agree that that you need to get out of your own head. Having these kinds of doubts is completely natural in a relationship, but over thinking them is just going to lead to you not trusting him, which will create all sorts of problems. From an outsider's point of view, it seems like he really does care about you. Instead of putting energy into being worried, put that energy into caring about him back and showing him that you appreciate the things he does do, even if it's not as frequent as it used to be (not that you don't show him already, just try to focus more on that than the doubts).

mugglecho

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I recently got off Tinder and this guy whom I dated last Valentine's saw me there. I was like WTF I deleted the account and the app already. Anyway, he told me that he'll delete it too since I did but I told him that don't let me make his decisions/choices in life and he can get a girl faster on Tinder. He responded with what's on the screencap.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

But I don't really like him. Is avoiding him okay or tell him face to face that he doesn't have any chance with me?

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mugglecho

PS. Yeah I'm the busy girl. Been on business trips for almost a month now.

mrsbillygil

Yeah just avoid

mrsbillygil

Dont respond and if he gets pushier then tell him things straight up.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

In this case I would actually pretend to be clueless and just say. Really? I'm in exactly the opposite situation... I wish there was someone I liked, it's a nice feeling! That way you're telling him but you're not telling him, and you've already slipped yourself into the position of friend

jeffreydowling

I AM Dora Sandy i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Priest ina who brought back my divorce husband that has left me for 6years within 48hours,i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every weekend so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week,i have been looking for how to get pregnant and how to get my divorce husband back to my life because i love him with the whole of my heart,i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to priest ina and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost marriage,then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my divorce husband back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my divorce husband will surely be back to me, within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i pick the call the next thing i could hear was my husbands voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason,that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came back home to meet me and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him,that was how we started again and he has Chang,i promised to say this testimony in radio station,commenting this testimony that now am pregnant,but still okay before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will sir, thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and help me thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com or you can also reach him through his mobile number,+2348074066640

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

It's ok to ignore him. If he pushes it, just tell him straight up you're not interested. You can't be interested in everyone!

myownworld

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

We have been on a few dates, and he always responds to my texts but we are not official yet.

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

What's your question?

jeffreydowling

I AM Dora Sandy i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Priest ina who brought back my divorce husband that has left me for 6years within 48hours,i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every weekend so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week,i have been looking for how to get pregnant and how to get my divorce husband back to my life because i love him with the whole of my heart,i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to priest ina and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost marriage,then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my divorce husband back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my divorce husband will surely be back to me, within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i pick the call the next thing i could hear was my husbands voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason,that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came back home to meet me and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him,that was how we started again and he has Chang,i promised to say this testimony in radio station,commenting this testimony that now am pregnant,but still okay before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will sir, thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and help me thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com or you can also reach him through his mobile number,+2348074066640

imgoingbackto505

HERE'S THE DEAL...

We've been together for a year and have a great relationship. Been best friends for four years before we started dating. For the past six months he's been mentioning almost every day that he wants kids with me. I think we're way too young (20 and 19) but his brother just had a baby with his girlfriend (23 and 20 years of age), so my
Boyfriend seems to feel like we're not too young. We're planning to move in together in a year - which seems like a right kind of commitment, time wise. Kids is just not even in my thoughts yet.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I don't want kids for another 5 years or so. I want to be with him in the future and I would love to have kids with him in say 5 years, but definitely not in the nearest couple of years. What do I say to not hurt him?

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

Compliment him on something genuine about how you feel secure with him, Then say you love him, and want him in your future because he is the one. For now though, you want to focus on building a strong future for you two by focusing on your career/school. Not sure where you're at as you did not mention it.

lola_5

If you're planning forever together there is absolutely, completely no rush to be having children right now. Enjoy your time together. Children can bring a lot of stress and pressure to a relationship.

sarahy91

Just communicate and tell him your stance on it. So maybe something along the lines of, 'I'd love to have kids with you but not right now, because (whatever the reason).'

torirule TOP COMMENTER

the question is can he fully financially and emotionally support you and a child? If you want to have kids with him too, but not for a few years, say "I really want to have kids together too but not until we are living together and financially secure enough which I think will take a few more years so lets start planning for that first"

giggleskdd TOP COMMENTER

To me it's a little weird that he's asking you to have kids before he's even considered marriage. Seems backwards.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

Have him babysit the newborn for a day.

imgoingbackto505

He babysits her all the time and he really loves her!

imgoingbackto505

And he has plans for marriage to, saying things like "we have to get married early so we can have big anniverserys, like 30 years married"...

mizztupac187

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm sure is he into me or ... ??? I mean he said if it wasn't for me he would of stuck with his Nokia phone ...

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lola_5

I can't see any signs of attraction in those texts, but maybe keep chatting and get to know each other more.

andreav

I don't understand this what your trying to ask.

upandup143

I get what you're asking, that he would have stuck with the worse phone/worse communication if he didn't meet you. But he has a phone with better communication so it's easier to talk to you. Well we know he prob didn't make the phone switch with you in mind, just a coincidence, but that is a weird thing to say if he isn't somewhat interested in you. I think he was just throwing out a flirt and seeing where it would land.

mimi23

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I met this guy at a party and we danced and walked around the neighbor hood he asked for my KIK and Instagram (turns out I was already following him) and we hugged twice then I left I had to KIK him in order for the KIK to save he texts me right after I got home we talked and he called me boo the next day I text him and he said that he was going to school and he had to sleep so I said okay bye and he said bye boo with a kissy face it's been almost two days and I haven't heard from him. And I'm worried beachside when we were dancing he asked if he could touch my butt and I said okay but I just said it because I didn't think it was that important. I feel like he thinks I'm easy and he won't even continue to talk to me.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does he like me? Or is he busy? Or is he just not interested?

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upandup143

I don't think touching your butt has anything to do with it. As long as he didn't put his hand INSIDE/DOWN your pants then you don't have to worry about being easy. He just sounds young and confused. Had fun with a nice girl he was attracted to at a party and perhaps hes a bit unsure of what to do now. You could send him a kik asking something about his day at school and see where convo flows from there. If he has a very short response/doesn't carry on convo or if he doesn't answer then it's probably best just to leave it and move on.

mimi23

what if i did already? i dont wanna do it again?

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

If he is not interested enough to respond, leave him be.

cinderella_2

Don't chase him. If he doesn't respond move on.

caitybug1994

yeah i'd just move on sorry love

yasdnil321

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Was seeing this guy about 6 months ago, we eventually stopped talking because he kinda just stopped making effort. Few months later we would have random casual hookups. He moved away since then, but we're still in contact.
He came in town last weekend and he ended up staying the night at my place and having sex, but the morning after he stayed until 3:30 after ordering delivery and watching TV. Just enjoying each other's company. He went back to where he lives that day and I haven't heard from him since (except for the occasional snapchat)
When we have sex, he's extremely sensual. Always wants to hold my hand and cuddle after, pet my hair, and rub my back.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is there any potential in this, or am I driving myself crazy?

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jazzfishy

No real potential past, like you said, "casual hookups"

torirule

you are driving yourself crazy. guys enjoy a bit of faux intimacy when they have casual hook-ups just like women do but they don't read into it as meaning anything like women do. the only way to see if there is any potential is if he's making plans to see you to do other things besides have sex and hang out watching TV.

g_love12

No potential

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Just sounded like he needed a place to crash, and have free sex at the same time. Sorry. And it's true. Guys like to feel like it's not just a dirty hook up. Holding hands, cuddling and those affectionate things are things guys like too. Don't think they just like to roll over and sleep and don't read too much into it. If he is not making plans to see you, he does not like you that way. Think about it, if you like someone, you want to see them as much as you can, right? Don't make excuses for anyone. It's not confusing. And stop driving yourself crazy by seeing all these emotionally unavailable guys. You deserve better. Don't sell yourself short.

juliajet

Cut him loose! You're wasting your time and emotions on someone who isn't invested in you emotionally at all. This gives you a disadvantage in being open to new possibilities with guys who are ready to commit emotionally too, not just physically. Cutting guys loose who just want to have sex with you will give you a greater sense of self-worth and will ultimately help you decipher between the opportunistic sex acceptors, and guys who actually want a relationship right off the bat.

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