fms

HERE'S THE DEAL...

My boss has been at the company now for 5 months. During that time, he has taken a lot of time out of his schedule to train me, and due to this, he promoted me and gave me a pay rise of 25 percent.

He always says that he trusts me most out of the team, and that I'm his favourite, and he's "always a bit mean to them" - he sets me tasks that are more difficult than my job description generally says I have to do. If he is out of the office having a coffee meeting, he will phone to check in on how I'm doing, and if I am stressed he will invite me to go there and get coffee too.

Sometimes he says my boyfriend is "thick" because he works in manual labour, and says things like "he's peaked at 21, you have so much further to go". When I was filing the other day he said, "move your chubby body out of the way" - and laughed, because I'm only a size 8. He also calls me "naughty" if I do something wrong.

Is he attracted to me, or just being friendly?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is my boss attracted to me?

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upandup143

he sounds extremely unprofessional... that's sexual harassment in the workplace if he's commenting on your body and calling you "naughty'. report him.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

Yuck, I would not feel comfortable with that. Sounds like he is attracted to you and enjoys flirting with you. It's unclear whether he'll take it farther than that but trust your gut. You don't have to deal with that if it makes you uncomfortable.

annastasia0207

I know personally I would feel pretty uncomfortable with this and would want to take it to HR. Even if it seems innocent, this is not something most bosses do it and it is extremely unprofessional and if this guy doesn't realize that, who else knows what he won't realize is going too far. If you're worried about stirring up trouble...from experiences I have heard of, most sexual harassment cases are handled pretty well in terms of making sure you're not going to be negatively affected by taking it up with HR. On the other hand, if you're comfortable with it and that's the kind of personality that you gravitate towards, you might as well reap the benefits from it. But definitely, definitely, definitelllyyyyy do not flirt back or give him any ideas that you want something more than just a professional relationship. That will only end badly for both of you.

jongalt

It's clearly not appropriate to call you chubby. Naughty is less clear.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

I don't know, but it seems like he seems to think you both are friends on top of being co-workers. I don't see it as flirty from what you've said, especially since he called you "chubby", even if it was intended as a joke. It wasn't sexual, but maybe just insensitive. The thing is if you want it to be a purely professional relationship, maybe don't overshare details like what your boyfriend does. I don't talk about my personal life with my bosses or my co-workers except for those I consider as friends out of work.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

he sounds absolutely awful, who cares whether he's attracted to your or not, he's disgusting!!!!

sawyer21

HERE'S THE DEAL...

The guy and I met on tinder and we started texting. It's been an everyday thing and we've talked on the phone. Three days ago he asked when we could come see me and we made plans for this coming weekend. He also said he deleted tinder because he likes just talking to me. But it's been three days of nothing. I texted twice and asked if something happened but haven't heard a thing. We really got a long and he constantly called me cute nicknames and complimented me a lot.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

What do I do? If he moved on I just want to know? Should I text him in a few days?

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

No, forget about him and ignore him if he texts again

candystraws

i'm assuming he met someone else. wait for him to text you.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

have you actually met him at all yet? If you haven't even met then it's doubtful that he deleted tinder already just to talk to yo, u, especially now that he is not even replying to you and being super flaky, he probably just unmatched you now that he has your number. A few guys I met on Tinder did this too. They do it so you can't see that they are 'active on Tinder 2 minutes ago'. Don't text him again and just see what happens this weekend. If you don't hear from him or if you just hear from him at like 9 o clock on Saturday night 'what are you doing?' then forget about this guy.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Agree with @torirule. Some of my gfs have had this happened to them too. It's even more apparent when the guys say things like, "Listen, I am hardly on Tinder, want to exchange numbers?" Most of the time, you'll see these guys are always online! Going back to you, you have already texted twice asking if something happened. DO NOT text him anymore. It will smell like desperation, even if you're not. If he doesn't get back to you by Friday, make plans with your girls and stick to it. Don't be his last minute plan: you'll be telling him you're ok with him treating you badly. Also, next time, if a guy doesn't reply the first time, don't text anymore. It's 2014. I think we can be sure the guy got the message and it's not because of bad connectivity. What I would do when I was still dating online, is refuse to give out my number. I'll say something like, "You seem interesting, but I don't give out my number to someone I have not met. Let's chat here for a while more, and see if we have a lot more in common." Then the guy sees this as a challenge --that you don't give out your number to every Tom, Dick and Harry, so he steps up to win your interest. I've eliminated a lot of the players and losers this way. Try it! :)

missm

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Hey guys, I messed up really bad And I need your help!

Me and this guy have have dealing and hooking up for several months now.

He was supposed to get back to me about a party this weekend and he didn't text me. It's been a week since.

So I told my friend about what going on and why he hasn't texted me in a week. She asked me to send her pictures of the conversation from last week when he was really looking forward to seeing me. But accidentally sent the pictures to him by accident!! And wrote on it "heres the convo from last week, he was pretty nice"

The next morning he texted me "What does that mean and who was it meant for?"

So when I responded I just told him my guy friend of 2 years texted me and asked me about my attendance and if I'm bringing my friend. And that my guy friend was asking about him and I accidentally sent it to you instead. I tried to laugh it over text it like it was no big deal.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

He never responded. I saw that he viewed my snap chat story not long ago so he obviously saw my text.. I know I messed up really bad, and it was an accident.

I know what I did turned him off. I guess the best thing to so is not text him? Question is, if he actually liked me, would he have responded anyways and not been turned off?

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missm TOP COMMENTER

Actually he just responded to saying "ya it's Thursday right? I work on Fridays so that's the problem

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Honestly, it doesn't sound like he was really into you anyway, so I say just cut your losses and move on

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

Totally agree with g_love. Move on.

leila TOP COMMENTER

Think this is totally recoverable, and no big deal at all. You handled it well! Sounds like things will work out!

missm TOP COMMENTER

Thanks! I thought I was doomed and never going to hear from him again. but he did send me a snapchat tonight replying positively to one of my stories I posted today.

missm TOP COMMENTER

and he did end up replying to my text saying "lmao yeah it's just that I work the next day so it's a problem"

torirule TOP COMMENTER

I think that fact that he didn't get back to you about the party and you didn't hear from him for a week is more of a concern. At least he responded when you accidently sent the screenshot of his own messages LOL.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

When you said "dealing and hooking up", did you mean "DATING and hooking up"? I don't think he likes you in a "I want you to be my gf" kinda way if he has been hooking up for months, and still not defining the r/s. The fact that he didn't even respond to a simple question for a whole week until that whole texting faux paus is even shocking. If you want a r/s, this guy isn't it. The r/s is just going to be casual.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

Sure it's not that big of a deal that you sent that message to him by accident, BUT it is a big deal that he was ignoring you and avoiding discussing the party you asked him to go to... and the huge one that you have been hooking up for months without actually being a couple. He's now responding because he's gotten himself out of the party and can resume the casual thing with you when he wants it, on his own timeline. I don't think he's going to dump you as a hookup buddy over this, but like jhops said, that doesn't mean that there's any chance of this becoming a relationship.

jongalt

You're texting from the phone. What you have to explain cannot be expressed in a text. Use the damn phone and call him. Tell him he matters to you. He needs to hear the sincerity in your voice. If he hears that and still refuses, it's time to move on.

missm TOP COMMENTER

Thanks guys! Later on last night he sent me a snap chat. I was a little worried to open it. Anyways, he basically said "Yah thats my nigga" with a selfie. He was referencing my Snapchat story of a photo I took yesterday of a pimp I see often in the city. So I responded back "Yeah he looks pretty sharp eh..You wish I was your nigga.." and he responded back "I thought you were already my nigga". Thoughts?

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Meet him in person, have the DTR with him. Don't have this talk over text or snapchat.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

by "nigga" do you mean girlfriend? Sounds more like something guys would say to each other meaning 'buddy'...

pitytamy

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I have been dating a guy for 2 months so friday I wanted to clear everything out and first I told him that I was a virgin he said that he had some clues about it then he said something like i thought you were gonna say something else like the girlfriend title and he said that he doesnt want that because girls get crazy with that title and i will end up crying also he said that he moved here and he doesnt know who will meet up can be more compatible but then he said that he is not talking with no one else but me what does it mean? later I receive a text saying "thanks for talking to me! that took some courage. I can be distant and not the best communicating sometimes. But I look forward to hanging out with you and building our friendship.Your awesome!" what does that mean????! also after that we had plan before all this to go rock climbing there I tried to be distant because we just talked all of this and he was distant too but at the end he kissed me and said that he wanted to see the next week and we talked ... but yesterday and today I havent heard from him and we have talked every day!! maybe because his family is in town but thats no excuse

NOW I'M WONDERING...

what does it mean??? what do I do??? HELP

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illnevertell

He told you he doesn't want to be your "boyfriend" and the he looks forward to a better "friendship". I don't think he is feeling anything romantic for you. And it definitely sounds like he isn't looking for a relationship. If you want a friend, great. If not, probably best to move on and find someone who wants to be with you.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

yep, agree totally. he does not want a relationship, so if that's what you are a looking forward you need to date a different guy. what do you want??

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

It means he only wants something casual with you.

pitytamy

but i dont understand why he will be ok that I am virgin and say he is not talking to nobody else?

pitytamy

and also say he want to still build up our frienship if he knows I am not gonna sleep with him like that

pitytamy

isn it weird?

pitytamy

i do want a relationship

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

All of that doesn't matter... He's prob just saying those things to be nice and keep a casual thing going with you. Saying that he doesn't like the girlfriend title means he doesn't want a relationship with you.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

It means he does not want a relationship with you. You want one obviously. It's not a match. Girl, when a guy tells you things like "I don't see the need to put labels on things" or refuse you give the title and claims he is not talking to anyone else, call them out on their BS. Also, be clear on your boundaries. If you aim to have that label and title, then don't settle for less. If you say you will take anything lesser than what you want, you are telling this guy you are lower value than he is, and it's ok to treat you like crap. That's not right. Stop seeing this guy please, you will end up getting hurt. Throw a pity party with your gfs, play the saddest songs, cry it out and then move on. You deserve someone who wants the same things, and he is out there.

katyagal

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I dated this guy for a month but I didn't like it so I broke up with him and got back with my ex.

The thing is that he used to talk with a girl for years (she didn't live here but now does). So he started ignoring her when we were dating (she used to like him, but he didn't tell her to back off or anything). He saw her at a club like a week ago (after years of not seeing each other), kept staring at her a lot and now they talk like they used to he even invited her to get lunch.

She knows his cousins and they like her instagram pictures when they even not bothered to follow me. A friend of him told me that shes sort of annoying always talking to him but the fact that he doesn't tell her to stop and talks to her in a really sweet way makes me think he actually likes it. They have gotten into a lot of fights but always end up apologizing a day after but when we did we broke up.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Shes actually quite a catch but I'm scared. Do you think he can end up liking her after all? Whats gonna happen?

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

He is with you, not her. If you keep thinking he will cheat on you, he probably will because you're so insecure and that makes you unattractive. Unless you catch him doing something wrong, don't listen to what his friends say and stop obsessing whether his cousins follow you on IG. Focus on being a great person, improving yourself and making a genuine connection with people in your life and his life. Be the change you want to be.

katyagal

I broke up with him lol, I'm scared he's gonna like her now.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

I don't get it. Who are you talking about? The guy you dated for a month and broke up with or your ex who is now the bf? Can you make it clearer?

katyagal

The guy I dated for a month

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

Why do you care? You broke up with him.

katyagal

Well we just broke up and tbh I didn't expect him to like someone so soon

mrsbillygil

You didn't want him, so it's rather petty and selfish to have your nose in his business and be worried he likes someone else. Just focus on your own life.

clairebear84

Why do you care of you dumped him?Its up to him who he talks to etc.Sounds a bit silly and childish to me

torirule TOP COMMENTER

If you only dated one month don't want to be with him, why does it matter....do you still have feelings??

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Agree with @mrsbillygil. You broke up with him. He has every right to see whomever he wants. He's not your backup boy. Don't be selfish and focus on your current r/s.

amandamoraisdesouza

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I'm Brazilian and I've met this guy on Tinder while I was in London, we had an awesome and perfect date and he suggested that we kept in contact through Facebook and Whatsapp, which we've been doing for over two months now... I may have a crush on him, but I'm cool about it because I know we are far way and all.
The thing is: he is ALWAYS the last one o text, even if it's just an emoticon or a laugh. And I start 95% of our conversations.
Even tough he make questions and stuff, being always the one the starts the conversations annoys me.
That's why I decided to stop texting him. But after some time without talking (from one up to three week), he would text me and we would keep chatting as nothing happened.

Why does he act like this? Should I stop talking with him forever and ignoring him when he texts?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I always start the conversations, he always ends them, does it mean something?

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seniana

I think he likes you. But maybe the distance keeps him from expecting anything and making plans. What´s are you talking about? Are you just friends or do you talk more clearly about your attraction for him?

amandamoraisdesouza

Most of out talks are friendly... We tease each other once in a while, but joking. I don't talk about my attraction for him because I don't understand why he keeps in contact with me, what's on his mind and well, I'm aware of the geographical complications.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Who knows? He could be texting because he is bored or he wants to see if you will respond. My question to you is: you obviously know nothing can come out of this because of the distance, why continue to text him? Allow yourself the opportunity to meet someone near you. Get back on Tinder, and meet people near you.

amandamoraisdesouza

Hey guys, I just would like to thank you. Reading your honest opinions helped me to see things clearly and stop having silly thoughts on it :)

reasonablyrowdy

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So, this guy is someone who I have hung out with occasionally because we happened to have a mutual friend. We started talking to each other about a month and a half, two months ago and I can say that we do click. I openly flirt with him, he openly flirts with me, we have nicknames for each other and he did tell me about a dream he had in which he got me pregnant with his child, which was how the nicknames started (momma and daddy). He's a really sweet guy, he was strung around by our mutual friend for three years almost because he had feelings for her, so when I do try to flirt with him, he withdraws a few times but I'm patient and I get why. I don't know where it's going at the moment. I know where I want it to go and I really do like him (I myself liked our mutual friend's brother for some time) but I feel as if I get varying signals from him. He and I had a conversation a few days ago where I said I was frustrated, he got the hint that he was frustrating me, and he indeed acted concerned about it and asked me what was honestly bothering me. I didn't tell him that I like him/am developing feelings/feel a little on the fence about what we really are because I've had a guy get scared off before by me being honest about my feelings and thoughts after some time of talking. I dodged the question but now I felt like I should have been a little honest. We have an inside joke (our "child") and we can have some extremely interesting conversations but most of the time, I'm the one trying to fuel it and he's usually the one responding with one word and it makes me feel like giving up once in a while. He has let me in at some instances and I can safely say we're friends, but I recently realized I've formed perhaps a small emotional attachment. I will say, though, that we have gotten a little explicit with each other over the phone. No pictures but there has been some texting and both of us enjoy it. That wasn't the primary reason we even began talking, though, it was just because we found each other interesting. Neither of us have cars at the moment due to financially prioritizing other things but he is a measly half hour away (which is definitely a shorter distance compared to CT and CA) and he does text me a second time if I don't get back to him soon. I'm just wondering whether I'm reading things right or wrong or if his intentions with me are romantic, because he can be that type of guy. And also, I've had more relationships with women than I've had with men (he is aware of this) so I don't wanna get too hopeful about things because of any misinterpretation.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm just wondering if this is heading to a positive place or if perhaps he wants something else from me.

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

The flirting, "sexy" dreams don't mean squat. He's not asking you out after 1.5 - 2 months of texting. I have mentioned this to a lot of girls. If you like someone, you would want to see them in person, not just text them. He lives just half an hour away, not like he needs to get on a plane to see you. You have to initiate the conversation and keep it going because he gives one-word replies. The boy is not interested. Don't waste your time. Drop it.

northeastchick

I think you need to have a talk with him he is clearly asking you in the text what are you frustrated about. He is not a mind reader ...sometimes we need to right out say what we want and see what happens. If you like him more than a friend tell him then the ball is in his court. If he distances himself then you know he is not interested.......if he starts making an effort than maybe that is what needed to happen!

annastasia0207

I agree with @northeastchick. I know you don't want to ruin your friendship with him and make it awkward, but if it's bothering and frustrating you this much, it's much healthier for you to get it off your chest. It definitely sounds like he is flirting with you and has some idea that you are interested, so it's not like the question would be totally out of left field. The fact that you're getting frustrated about the situation, letting him know, and he automatically knows you're talking about him, shows that you guys have gotten beyond the "just friends" phase anyways.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

I think you need to be honest with him, and not play games like above. Are you trying to make him think you are dating someone else? Or that you are not interested? Be straight with the guy. He may be waiting for some encouragement from you, and that negative vague stuff you posted is NOT it.

reasonablyrowdy

He knows he's the only guy I'm talking to at the moment. But I know I should be more blunt and I am now. We've gotten closer a lot recently and now he's dropping subtle hints that he wants more, too. The only reason I'm still hesitant is because he's not into conversing with me about feelings and it makes me think he either doesn't have any for me or he doesn't want to address it. I'm thinking of blatantly blurting it out one of these days and saying, "You know, Devin, I really like you. And not only as my friend."

2isbetterthan1

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I studied abroad in Paris last fall and I was dating a french guy while I was there. He sent me two smiley emoticons and then sent this message on facebook. I replied, but he didn't say anything back. However, he liked my profile picture randomly a week after I had already posted it. I also know he doesn't really use is facebook much--he literally only has like 3 profile pics and the most recent one is from 2012!

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Why would he message me and then not respond, but then go and like my picture ?? Is he playing games or what? We didn't exactly end on the best terms the night before I left, so I was a little shocked that he even sent me this message to begin with.

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He's doing just enough to keep you around, without putting in too much effort

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Maybe he didn't reply because he has no plans to visit you....but is liking your photos because he would like to see you again if you visit him.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Liking your pics on social media has got nothing to do with him liking you. If he is not making plans to see you, then no, he is not into you. Texting is easy. Let me repeat what I have told many girls here: he can be texting you while in bed with someone else, while at the bar when he is bored, while he is taking a dump, while he is in a meeting at work. So don't play him games. No meet up in person = not interested.

2isbetterthan1

I mean I was joking when I asked when he's coming to visit me...Because I live all the way in California. So I know It would be extremely expensive for him to come. I just get really annoyed when guys text first and sound super anxious to talk to you and then after don't respond. Like what was the point of reaching out to begin with? Lol

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Because he wants attention

xhugsandwishes

They like to keep you around. I dated someone in France this summer on my study abroad too. They want to keep you in the picture if you come back around.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

The point of reaching out was just to see if you would reply, I agree he just checking he's still got your attention.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Regardless of whether you two were joking, it doesn't matter. International flights are so affordable these days. There's no such thing as "too expensive" if someone is interested. It only is expensive if there is no interest. He only misses you and is keen if you go over to see him because he does not need to spend anything. Does that answer your question? Block and delete. Waste of time chatting with him.

seniana

He want to see you. But if he can't right now he doesn't see the point in talking to you. Maybe if you see each other he'll gent more interested in you and will chat with you even when you're away.

sadcookie

HERE'S THE DEAL...

My best friend is a male. We talk for hours every day and he tells me all his deep secrets. I feel strongly about him, but I have never told him explicitly. We could never really be together anyway, because we both come from separate (but equally strict) cultural backgrounds and our families wouldn't be cool with an intermarriage.

Anyway, yesterday he started telling me about a girl he met at work and suggesting that he might like her. I did feel insecure at that point because she is very knowledgable about things like politics which I am not so well informed about. (He's big on political discussions too.)

Some of the messages we exchanged are below - please read them from left to right. I have tried to include most of the relevant points of our conversation, but left out texts in between that were about something else.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Do you think he could be telling me about this girl just to tease me, incite jealousy in me and gauge my feelings about him? He knows I fall for things quite easily so he likes to play little jokes on me sometimes... I'm confused and upset and yes, I admit it, jealous :( I don't know what to do.

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sadcookie

Sorry, I forgot to add that my texts are in green. Also, there was is one text of mine which got a bit cut off in the screenshot. He told me to call him (to wake him up in the morning) and I said in a jealous huff "Maybe you should get (name of girl) to call you instead." Have I reacted like an idiot to this whole thing? I'm so confused :(

andreav

He sounds like kind of a jerk. You can call it "teasing" if you want but really he is just playing into your insecurities and trying to make you feel bad and bring down your self esteem.

mrsbillygil

I agree w Andrea that he's a jerk. I think he gets that you like him and enjoys the attention. I dont really see why you are such good friends with this guy if he usually acts like this.

mrsbillygil

Also it's clear that he's trying to make you jealous. What isn't clear is whether he's doing it because he likes you or because he actually has a big crush on this girl and wants to rub it in your face. Either way, it's pretty harsh.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He doesn't like you, he just likes the attention

annastasia0207

I agree with everyone above. He says "Don't be jelly" after all you've said is "OMG really". To me, it sounded like you were actually really excited for him but he knew that your reaction was a negative, jealous reaction. In essence, he went into explicit detail about this girl because he knew it would make you jealous. Regardless of whether or not he's into you or not, do you really want to date a guy that makes you feel like crap just because it will boost his ego? He sounds like a major jerk and I think you should drop this guy. Feelings or no feelings, friends don't intentionally hurt other friends to get an ego boost.

annastasia0207

Also, I really don't like how he's making you look dumb because this girl knows more about politics than you do. I'm assuming whatever political leader they were talking about, you didn't know who that was? He wouldn't have brought that up unless he knew it would make you feel stupid. Which is really rude of him to do.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

I agree 100% with annastasia (and the other posters above) and I feel really sad that he was able to hurt you so much with his comments. The easiest thing for you to do is to move on and find a guy who is kind, respectful, would never be intentionally mean to you, and who your parents accept.

melissaj126

HERE'S THE DEAL...

This guy I am talking to told me he had a friends with benefits. We aren't together so there isn't much I can do.. He told me this on the phone last night and I stopped answering his texts and he blew up my phone. About he will stop talking to her, and I can go through his phone.. Etc here is the latest text!

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he into me or not? Do I give him a chance? Thoughts please!

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annastasia0207

I think you should give him a chance, but let him know that you don't want to get in a relationship right away. If he agrees that it's fair and agrees to stop talking to the other girl, then I think you should seriously give it a chance because he seems like he really wants to give you guys a good shot. If he doesn't break it off with the other girl after you tell him you don't want a relationship straight away, then I would drop him because it means he is just using you as a fail-safe plan to always have a girl to hook up with.

kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

I don't think you should give him a chance. He is only saying what he thinks you want to hear. Trust me he will never give up this friends with benefits situation. Find a guy that only wants to be with you and does not believe in FWB type arrangements.

upandup143

I think you should give him a chance. But keep the dates outside of the home/bedroom. Don't let his "chance" be too physial too early.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

You just met this guy, didn't you? If so, the only mistake this guy made was telling you about this other girl. It's perfectly fine that he hooks up with someone else when he didn't even know you, isn't it? He should have kept quiet about it and started dating you and ended things with her without mentioning it to you. But what's done is done... if you give him a chance and he tells you he's no longer seeing this girl, then please make sure to drop the subject. Trust him until he gives you a reason not to. Seems like he's being really honest so far.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Give him a chance if you like him.

lola_5

Marionemelia is right. He's only slipped up by being too honest. Give him a chance if you feel like you want to, but don't be too harsh, he hasn't done anything wrong yet.

thejayman

Sounds like the clumsy fool, made it up! Either because he thought it would impress you or because he thought you would somehow want to become his next friends with benefits. I'll bet she doesn't even exist FWB are very rare in reality.

undercoverww

If you like him, give him a chance. But keep it out of the bedroom for a couple of months at least! He may have made this up to get some fire up your ass so that you sleep with him faster. Don't give him that unless he deserves it, let him wait.

seniana

He wasn't interesting in anybody so where is the problem un havons FWB? Now he met you and wan't YOU to be the only one. He made a mistake telling you about her, I think he wanted to show you how much he is into you, but he didn't pick the right argument clearly :/ . Give him a chance he is honest.

itsalwaysnever

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So this guy I met on Tinder ask me to hang out with him and yesterday he said that he won't be seeing me anymore and it was really nice meeting me hoping I wasn't wasting my time with him. So I texted him morning after the text that it was nice meeting him. Anyways, after that he texted me that Hi, is it too late to say I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say. I also have ended a relationship three months ago. Should I inform him that too?

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Do you think he's worth keeping and should I text him?

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annastasia0207

Ew I dont like this guy. He ends it with you telling you its not going to work out, then changes his mind and just expects you to agree to o get pizza with him last minute? I wouldn't even respond back to this one. It sounds like he found another girl that he was more interested in so he broke it of with you and then when it didn't work out with her, came back to you. Don't be option B and if nothing else, at least don't get pizza with him tonight. That's showing him that he has control, can dump you and then make last minute plans with you when he changes his mind because he expects you'll be waiting at his beck and call for him. Ew seriously, I wouldn't even reply to this guy and move on.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He ditched you for another girl, then when things didn't work out with her he's coming back to you. The same thing happened to me before :/.

itsalwaysnever

Later.. He texted me...

I can understand if I've confused or upset you. If you're not comfortable with tonight or have other plans maybe we could meet up some other time.

I don't know what to say please help. :(

jazzfishy

Agree that he found another girl and then that fell through so hes back to you. Show him youre in charge!

upandup143

ugh. no. he invites you out, say's he doesn't want to date you, then takes it back and invites you out again? no no no. He's too confused so early on. You don't need that. his confused state will only get worse and you don't want to be left high and dry by him should you date him more. Just tell him sorry, you have plans and don't offer to reschedule

upandup143

He messed up. too bad for him, he doesn't get to have his cake and eat it too. There WILL be other guys other there and those guys will not pull this weird bull at the very bud of a possible relationship.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Agree with all the others. He's told you he is emotionally unavailable. BELIEVE IT. Do not accept the last minute pizza offer and either text him a really short message like "sorry got plans" or unmatch him.

tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

Man, this guy has pretty thick skin. Agreed with everyone else. I really hope that you didn't agree to meet him last minute or ever.

shesnotstarry

I agree with the other ppl, this seems really suspicious..

romana79

HERE'S THE DEAL...

so people read ... we have talked to each other for 2 months ... at the second week he told me that we are friends and I approved , said : "of course we are etc ... " at first we used to talk a lot , a lot , used to send to each other novels about different stuffs ... then we kinda stoped ( not totally but kinda ) ... we talked to each other for 15 days every day , then stoped talking for 10 days and then he wrote me first ... then again we talked for 15 - 16 days , stoped talking for 4 days then wrote me again after 4 days ... then again ( sorry if it looks boring :D ) we continued talking for 12-13 days and then again stoped talking for 7 days he wrote me again first , then stoped talking abt 10 days and I wrote him first this time ( i wouldn't but he had an important event these days and i thought it would be kind of me to ask how it is going .. ) we are talking now ... but I don't know ... He talks to me ... He thinks I am cute ... sometimes when i say smth , he sends : :) :P ... i see he tries to keep the conversation going , but every time he sends me those i feel like he doesn't want to talk ... He has told me that he really likes talking to me ... he is 4 years older , 21 and 17 ... I don't think he needs me as a friend ... i mean ... i don't know that's whaat my logic tells me for now ... we talk a lot like friends ...

NOW I'M WONDERING...

but i have no idea ... more time that it passes i think i am making it more obvious that i like him ... is this wrong ? what should i do ?

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lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

It's not wrong to like somebody, but he is giving you no signals that he returns your feelings. You can't make somebody like you. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it's just the way it works. It might be the age difference, too, you're very young for him. Look for someone nice your own age.

deadhearts

This exact thing has happened to me. I understand how it's hard to let go, but sometimes it's what needs to happen. Who knows? Maybe there's another guy waiting out there for you?

oriansky

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm been seeing this guy he is 47 years old and I'm 37 , we been dating over a month , we hang out a lot at least one day during the week and the whole weekend pretty much , we are Intimate and chemistry is there , is just hard for me to read him , one of the things is that he already introduce me to his brother and his sister in law, and another weekend we went out with his best buddy's from his back home town , some days he texted and he is kind of sweet , other times is just what's up( something I hate ) lol but I'm no sure what we are ? Should I ask him about us? Should I wait maybe another month to see if he will ask me to be his girlfriend , I don't know if because he knows I like him , he acts like that sometimes or is just me been dramatic . :/ what should i do ?

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Ask him

jhops TOP COMMENTER

You could ask general question about what his r/s goals are, then tell him your r/s goals. It sounds good if he's introducing people close to him to you anyway.

annastasia0207

At 47 years old, I would think he's dating for something serious at this point, not just to date around and play games so I don't think asking him straight up what you guys are will scare him away.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Disagree with @annastasia0207. Everyone has different r/s goals at different points in their life. Best not to assume. Some 20-somethings could be looking for something serious, and some 40-50 somethings who have done it all may not want anything serious anymore. Any updates?

oriansky

thank you all for your comments , is been hard to read this guy, he came for dinner the other day and we had a good time , I'm seeing him tomorrow we are going to the movies and then Later to his place I think I'm going to Ask him what stage are we , I like him but I don't want to invest my time if he is no sure we are been dating , intimate about this time you know what you really want ....
Thank you all I will keep posted what happen after this weekend ;) 😉

fromchaos85

HERE'S THE DEAL...

We have been officially in a committed relationship for four months now but have know each other since middle school.

The texts before these read as follows...
Him: I'll tell you like this
Him: I love you like
Me: like what?

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does he really love me and I'm just trippin?

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fromchaos85

I know it's sounds all good it just feels like he's a little distant lately. He still texts everyday all day and calls multiple times a day. Idk maybe it's just cause I used to get sweet texts all the time or maybe the honeymoon phase is just over abs we are settling into a more normal routine. Idk

annastasia0207

If he's calling you MULTIPLE times a day, he is definitely not being distant. It seems like he is still very much in love with you but maybe he just doesn't feel like he needs to give you sweet texts all the time because he knows that you already know how in love with you he is and doesn't feel like he has to validate it to you AS MUCH. But if he's sending you these kinds of texts at least periodically and calling you that much, he still is validating you and making sure that you know, so it doesn't seem like there's much to worry about here.

fromchaos85

You're probably right. But we a rocky month last month and it almost ended. I guess thats probably part of my problem. I just need to calm down and let things be. We worked everything out and he straight up said he didn't want things to be over. I guess I'm just scared things are gonna take turn and I won't be so lucky this time. I need to get outs my own head and quit over

annastasia0207

I agree that that you need to get out of your own head. Having these kinds of doubts is completely natural in a relationship, but over thinking them is just going to lead to you not trusting him, which will create all sorts of problems. From an outsider's point of view, it seems like he really does care about you. Instead of putting energy into being worried, put that energy into caring about him back and showing him that you appreciate the things he does do, even if it's not as frequent as it used to be (not that you don't show him already, just try to focus more on that than the doubts).

mugglecho

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I recently got off Tinder and this guy whom I dated last Valentine's saw me there. I was like WTF I deleted the account and the app already. Anyway, he told me that he'll delete it too since I did but I told him that don't let me make his decisions/choices in life and he can get a girl faster on Tinder. He responded with what's on the screencap.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

But I don't really like him. Is avoiding him okay or tell him face to face that he doesn't have any chance with me?

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mugglecho

PS. Yeah I'm the busy girl. Been on business trips for almost a month now.

mrsbillygil

Yeah just avoid

mrsbillygil

Dont respond and if he gets pushier then tell him things straight up.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

In this case I would actually pretend to be clueless and just say. Really? I'm in exactly the opposite situation... I wish there was someone I liked, it's a nice feeling! That way you're telling him but you're not telling him, and you've already slipped yourself into the position of friend

jeffreydowling

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lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

It's ok to ignore him. If he pushes it, just tell him straight up you're not interested. You can't be interested in everyone!

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