julie1218

HERE'S THE DEAL...

ok so me and this boy have texted for like 8 months, except we met because I banged his best friend, and that's how we started talking. I recently just came out of a short term relationship and all of a sudden This boy has gone from a best friend to a bae except for my one problem, ok so I'm sure he likes me and all but he really wants his friend that I banged not to find out that me and him are together, but yet he still comes to my house often, we've never had sex or had a sleepover just been fun little hang outs but I don't know if it's worth getting attached to someone who doesn't even want their best friend to find out? Like I don't want to have to keep a big part of my life a secret, he has only told one of his friends about me and him seeing eachother

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

what should I do?

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happygurl

How long have you been together? You just came out from a relationship. And maybe he doesn't have the guts to tell his best friend yet because he's worried that he will lose him. Just give time for the r/s to grow further. If it lasts for a short term, it's not worth it for him to lose his best friend. Just enjoy and see where it goes.

sarahy91

He's probably just making sure that y'all being together is serious and not a short-term thing. I didn't start telling my friends about my relationship with my bf until about a month or two into seriously dating. My bf told his family and friends once we made it official, but that's because he knew he was serious about me from the start. We both went into the relationship serious from the start. I just wasn't ready to tell everyone. There's no set amount of time. It's whenever he feels comfortable. But if it's taking too long, you might wanna reconsider.

bluesdetoi

Agree with happygurl. If this is new, he might nit be sure youre worth losing a best friend for, that is is his friend would even care, since it sounds like there were no feelings between you and him. Give it a while, if hes into you, he'll want everyone to know about you.

sophisticated

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I asked him this question thinking that we'd just hangout and hookup like we normally do but his response kind of made me do a double take...

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does he actually want to go out and do something or just hookup?

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torirule TOP COMMENTER

just ask him....

bluesdetoi

Its a little hard to determine from those texts what kind of thing he wants to do, but you should ask him yourself.

northeastchick

Ask him ....his response could go either way....

sophisticated

I didn't respond and the next day he took me out on an actual date... It's so confusing because he says he doesn't want a relationship but yet he does things like this and will text me every day.... I guess we're dating but not dating???

torirule TOP COMMENTER

that's good! where did he take you?

sophisticated

We went out to dinner and then to a movie :) It was nice but added to the confusion lol

torirule TOP COMMENTER

you're dating and hooking up, but you're not boyfriend and girlfriend. At least it's not just hooking up.

niki_bubble94

HERE'S THE DEAL...

We met about 4 months back on tinder. Well we started talking two days before I had to leave the country. Now I'm in another country for my studies and I'm returning back this decemeber. We couldn't meet up even though he wanted to. We have been talking every single day about everything about our lives. He is pretty honest with me and he does tell me that if he met a girl. But he always tells me its never serious. And if I met someone and went on a date I'll tell him ( which happened once ). He knows I like him a lot. And he did admit that he does think about us dating. But since we have never met what ever is there isn't real and he needs to see the real life compatibility. We used to have smoking hot sexting and it was all fun, he used to tease and flirt. He cares a lot about me and even my family. And we cannot exactly stay without texting for a day. One day I avoided him and he was like, why are you mad at me ?.
He knows eveything about my life and he too. We thought about skyping but decided not to because we wanted to hear the voice for the first time. He is a very busy person but manages to find time for me. We text in an average of one and half hours everyday inspite of the 10 hour time difference. He is investing a lot of time on someone who is thirteen thousand. Km away. We are on eachothers social media, like facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram etc and keep updating about our lives, family etc.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Now the thing is, I just have around 17 days left to meet him. And I'm really nervous. And we always had this amazing online chemistry on. Even sexual flirting was perfect. Past one and half weeks he has been not flirting anymore. We talk a lot, he still cares. He scolds me when I don't take care of my health, he told about our meet. and try to make a conversation when I'm not replying. I know for a fact that there isn't any woman . last time he has been with someone was like a month back. He has been sick for a while. Plus he is doing his engineering so he is busy too. But there is not even a line of flirting. It makes me wonder whether he doesn't find me attractive or like me anymore.

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niki_bubble94

We have been talking non stop for 4 months everyday.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

It's not even a real r/s, it's just an online r/s. Everything is not real until you meet the guy. He's not perfect like you imagine him to be, and he's a human being with flaws. You let him become more than you think. So stop, and just pull yourself back into that space of logic. You might not even find him attractive in person. My friend did something like this and when she met the guy, the guy was balding and was much shorter than he said he was on his dating profile. Be realistic about it, until you meet him, stop obsessing.

bluesdetoi

I do understand finding the online chemistry, and it can seem so real and perfect. I have been in your shoes, texting and IM'ing with someone for a while before meeting them, but when we met we had no sexual or romantic chemistry, it was a complete bust, and it was a horrible realisation knowing that we had both invested feelings and time into each other. I know its a little late for that, but see this as a meeting with friend you're close with, and not a possible romantic encounter, and see how it goes from there. Try to convey that same idea to him so that you both can relax on your first meeting, instead of being anxious.

deerandomgee

Ya should really try to Skype Or FaceTime. It sounds kinda Catfish to Me...

niki_bubble94

Yeah he does say that, I might not even like him in real. And honestly its not the look which attracts me. I like him for what he is. He doesn't explain his good nature. I infer it from what he tells on how his day was. He explained what he did with his Lil cousins and those things touched me. I know I have to meet him to be sure . but I really like this guy. And I feel so happy around him. And I'm scared that it will be a hoax.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

I agree with bluesdetoi, it's going to feel very different in person, so don't get your hopes up too much.

girl444

sounds to me like he may have tried to make himself into way more than he actually is or does, and now he is afraid to meet you. its not that he isn't attracted to you, its more likely that he is, and now is worried if you will like him. just keep the date to meet and see if he shows up. in the meantime, downplay the meeting a little but so he isn't as nervous to do it.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Niki you talk about him like you have been in physical

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Niki, you talk about him like you have been in physical contact. You said you like how you feel "around him" but you've never been around him. What's done is done so take the advice from the posters above and treat this like meeting a friend. You really know nothing about this guy, not until you meet him in person and meet his friends and family and little cousins. You don't really know this guy. People can set up fake Facebook profiles. It happens all the time on the show catfish. I hope the meeting goes as you expect. But if it doesn't , in the future, as. Rule if thumb don't establish relationships online. Talk little to the people you meet online and arrange to meet in person ASAP. The conversations you had with him every day were supposed to happen face to face on dates. I met my fiancée online, but he asked me for my number and a date after out third email and that's because I don't divulge a ton of personal info to strangers online. He knew that to get to know me he would have to make the time to see me face to face. Any guys online that didn't ask me for my phone number by the 4th or 5th exchange, I would just ignore. I didn't want a pen pal. I wanted flesh and blood man. Right now what you have is a pen pal who may or may not be exactly who he said he was. Pretend you are meeting a friend, just like one of the posters a I've mentioned. so that you don't get completely disappointed. I hope things go as you hope.

niki_bubble94

Thanks to all! Well we have been what sapping. We have each others number. And I have checked out about the credibility and its real. And what you telling is true, I haven't met this guy and I should treat this as meeting a friend. Honestly we would have met if we could. But since I'm in another country, sadly we can't!

niki_bubble94

He has send me videos of him boxing and me playing drums and all, he is a nice person, he has never ever misbehaved or stepped over the line. He has always respected me and cared for me ! Anyways 15 days to go! Let's see :)

vult

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I was seeing someone for 3 months. At first it went well but I'm not the type to fall in love quickly. Fortunately, I found out gradually that he was playing around and also kept seeing other women while seeing me. I decided to dump him because first, I don't want to waste my time and second, after finding out his habit of lying (saying I was the only one for him but also texts other women the same thing) I was emotionally done with him. I wished him luck while walking away voluntarily because without me, he's still happy with other girls. But this guy just keeps texting me out of the blue asking: "Is everything ok with you?"

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

He is definitely seeking for attention. What would be your best action if you were in my position dealing with this jerk?

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sarahy91

Ignore him but that doesn't seem to be working so unfriend him on Facebook and block him (if things get really bad). It's mean but if he keeps bothering you, that's the best you can do.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Block him

esserebelle

Well. There's tons of options here. But I would do one of two.
1. I would continue to ignore him and he will probably stop and realize you don't want to talk to him.

OR

2. I would text him saying "please stop texting me. I don't want to talk to you and I don't want anything to do with you." And I would just hope he would catch on and stop. Good luck!

torirule TOP COMMENTER

reply 'everything's great :)' then block him

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Block and not text anything back. The silence will kill him more than any words could. Plus, if he texts back and you text back something angry, then you will just look emotional.

vult

Thank you guys for the feedbacks

deerandomgee

Ignore Ignore Ignore!!!!

everyhappy21

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So this guy I met him on tinder we were fwb until I left for college. Then all of sudden he started to text me that he wants to have sex. I meant I expect that because we were fwb. But then last Saturday was 3am in the morning, he texted me saying what's up blah blah blah then I asked him to come up to visit me in school (half joking) and he said he will then he drove 3 and half hours to visit me. We cuddled but no sex. In the morning he left saying his parents will worry about him. I kept saying that we were fb whenever he compliments on my look or my body. But he said just a memory. He's 26 and I'm 22. We've been known each other about an year.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

While we were texting he said im a smart and cute sexy girl. But I told him that I don't believe it. And the fact that he drove 3 hours to just to cuddle with me at 3am in the morning... Idk. He texted me saying "thank you for having me :)" what is he doing? He said he doesn't think us as fwb just a memory. Is he trying to be nice? Or just to get in my pants? He could find another girl to have sex easily ... I don't understand.

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northeastchick

This is strange..he drove 3 hours at 3AM but didn't have sex with you? In a way that is a good sign that he is interested in you as more than a sex buddy...but he contradicts himself with his text "I want sex". If he wanted to just get into your pants he would visit you in school and have sex whenever convenient. I do think he is trying to be nice which is not a bad thing.

everyhappy21

So he's just being nice? But isn't it over the top? Drove 3 hrs to just to cuddle with me? I don't mind him being nice but I just don't understand it.

everyhappy21

Isn't it over the top? That he drove 3 hrs to just to cuddle? I meant I don't mind him being nice but I think this is beyond nice.. I just don't understand.

everyhappy21

Isn't it over the top? That he drove 3 hrs to just to cuddle? I meant I don't mind him being nice but I think this is beyond nice.. I just don't understand. He doesn't consider us as sex buddy anymore.

everyhappy21

Oops sorry for the crazy comments... It says error :(

northeastchick

How has his behaviour been since that incident? Sometimes it is hard to decipher a persons actions and you just need to see how things progress between you two...I would stop saying to him that your only FWB especially if you want more.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

It doesn't say much. He could be lonely and wanted to cuddle. If he's not meeting you to spend more time with you without it being sexual, don't assume anything. And, he's 26 and still lives at home?

everyhappy21

He texted me that he got home well and thank me for having him other than that no. And he moved out and he moved back in cuz he works for his dad. So idk! I don't care but just still don't understand lol he must've been lonely.. I guess

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

He was lonely and you were available

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He probably intended to sleep with you but was too tired after the drive lol

esserebelle

HERE'S THE DEAL...

My boyfriend said he wasn't feeling well and I was just kinda trying to make him feel better and said I would give him a hug and he said he was a germaphobe. It kinda hurt my feelings.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does this seem rude or mean? Or am I just over reacting? Thanks.

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2009 TOP COMMENTER

He may be a germaphobe and he's also a jerk. Maybe he was just in a funky mood but if he's like this all the time then I'd say he's not overly keen on you

bluesdetoi

Is this really your boyfriend or just someone random you are talking to and youre assuming its a relationship?

deerandomgee

That's fucked up , leave his Germafobe Ass Alone since he don't want to be touched... & ur not over reacting that was really rude & inconsiderate

lucyinthesky_2

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I met this guy at Tinder a week ago. He's english I'm spanish. Arranged a date on saturday after texting back and forth for a few days. We met at 9,30 pm and extended untill 4,30 am.
During the last hour he kissed me and hold my hand. Asked me to his place which I rejected.
Then I heard nothing from him till this morning (monday) and we've texted again back and forth all day joking around.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

My doubt is I've seen he's been in Tinder yesterday and today so keeps talking to other girls. Don't have much experience on online dating and never met an english guy. So..Is it normal and acceptable? Do you think he is interested?
He's such a handsome and well educated guy and never thought he would like me.
Thanks girls!

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torirule TOP COMMENTER

yes it is normal for people who use Tinder to a) be looking for casual sex, and b) keep looking on Tinder after one date with someone.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

You shouldn't be fixated on one guy after just one date. Yes it's common. You guys are not in a relationship. It was just a date, which means you should be dating too. And I don me sleeping with anyone, just dating and getting to know guys. Let someone ask to for exclusivity before you get all hung up on them. The way to not get too attached to one guy too soon is to date others. And ironically you appear more attractive because guys can sense that you Are not desperate. Keep dating. Enjoy yourself. Mr. Right will come along when you least expect it.

lucyinthesky_2

You're totally right my dear. I will follow your advice and let you know. Many many thanks!

firu189

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I visited Chicago and met with a close friend of mine and his gf. We went bar hopping on a saturday night and their friends came along too. I ended up being the only lady in the group of 8 (other than my friend's wife).
I started chatting with this 35 year old investment banker. He was thoroughly engaging and paid a lot of attention to me. He teased me a lot and kept making fun of me for still living with my parents. We talked and laughed so much that when the group was walking to the next bar we would lose sight of the group and he had to call them up to find out where they were. This happened Twice in a row when we were moving to the next location. He joked and said it was all my fault and that I was distracting him on purpose. He also told me that one of my jokes was lame. I liked that he didn't pretend to find it funny. While walking on the streets he then started to put his hand on the small of my back. There was no need for him to guide me as it wasn't a crowded street and neither was I drunk. He did this 2 to 3 times. I did not reciprocate by touching him but neither did I move away. He also did impressions of me to make fun of me and after a while he told me he was just messing with me, as if he thought I might be offended? We got to a club and it got a little too noisy to talk. After we tried shouting in each other''s ears a couple of times we gave up trying to have a conversation. He slowly drifted off to another part of the club. After that I had to leave as something had come up and I did not get to say goodbye to the group. The next day I added the rest of the group on facebook and realized he wasn't on it. I IMed one of his buds for his number saying I just wanted to keep in touch since I was leaving the city. His friend then responded that it wasn't a good idea as he had a very serious girlfriend.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Was he just flirting for fun with no intention of following through since he hass a 'serious' gf?? Or just being friendly? Does the overt attention and teasing and hand on the lower back mean anything or did I read too much into it? Do you think his friend actually asked him if he should give his number or did he just say no on his behalf? I checked out the friend's facebook and it turns out he is pretty close to both the guy and his serious gf. I feel mortified!!

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

It doesn't matter, girl. The guy of your interest has a gf. Back off, and stop thinking about it. Be glad nothing happened.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He's a jerk

northeastchick

I agree with above why sweat it...the guy has a girl. Not to mention he was just hanging out with you not like he made a move or asked for your number!

annastasia0207

Yeah, I would say move on. It was a fun night with a fun guy but that's all it was. The guy knew you were just visiting so it was easy to have fun and flirt without having any complications. It seems he didn't want it to go any farther than that as he didn't ask for your number or try to kiss you or anything and then he even left you and moved towards another part of the club during the night. It was a fun fling for a night in Chicago, on to the next :)

annastasia0207

Also you have no reason to feel mortified, if anything the guy should feel mortified that he was flirting with someone that wasn't his girlfriend. You had no idea until now that he had a girlfriend and was just doing what anybody who is attracted to someone would do.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

You didn't do anything wrong, this guy is just flirty and being nice to the out of town girl. No biggie. Don't make it out to be more than it is.

mrsbillygil

I agree with lilliekins. This guy is just flirtatious.

inspired12

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Met this guy around Halloween. He is extremely nice and I get a spark but then the second date I lost it :( I didn't have an urge to text him but the fact that he disappeared for 5 days was strange. I kinda didn't care but i know he's super nice and genuine everyone thinks I should give him another chance and maybe I'll grow to like him more? I'm used to drama and poor treatment and this situation is unfamiliar territory and scared of it. I find myself creating drama and being kind of mean to make the situation familiar? I should see him again right?

The rest of it says I had plans and couldn't and he let me
Know to say when I'm free for dinner and I'll tell him sunday I just havnt yet..

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Guy is so nice and I need to change my pattern and be into it

MIA
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annastasia0207

A guy who texts you last minute and asks you to come over and watch tv with him that night is a booty call. If he was a genuinely nice guy, he would have stayed in contact with you and if not, apologized for not staying in contact with you and then made it up to you by asking you on a proper date. Obviously I don't know this guy personally to know what your friends see in this guy to tell you that you should give him a second chance, but from the information you've given, he doesn't sound all that great to me....

inspired12

Oh I left out a ton ha my bad... He took me to dinner one night and the very next day asked for the second date and we went to movie and dinner he walks me to my door and is kind. We met thru a mutual friend so he kinda already knows I don't do anything for several months till I'm in a relationship we talked about that even. He is saving himself Cuz he is kinda awkward. He said to let him know when I'm free and he will have me over for dinner

torirule TOP COMMENTER

I agree with Anastasia, he goes MIA and then says he 'kinda' wants to see you again and asks you last minute to come over to his place tonight and watch tv with him? doesn't sound very exciting....don't focus on what he did before. if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

He sounds too lukewarm. Going MIA is a bad sign and he didn't even apologize for it. And watching a movie at his place is Not a date. I wouldn't accept a "hang out" invitation. He knows he went MIA. I would ignore that invite until he invites you on a real date and honestly you should date other people. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you were dating other guys you wouldn't even answer a text message from a guy who goes MIA on you. You would be too busy looking for outfits for your date this weekend with a guy that actually bothered to ask you out on a real date. Ignore this guy. He's a waste of your precious time.

inspired12

I was dating other guys that's why I couldn't see him last night was I had a date!! Hahah his date idea is he's making me dinner at his house... I think I posted this without any background and that was a mistake sorry!

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

I agree with the other posters...he went MIA and then turned it around on you which is a typical line. Then he invites you over to his house. I don't think this sounds very promising, even with the extra info you added

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Oh and he's not awkward..."I kinda want to see you again" is typical negging that players use.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Inspired12. If you are dating others , then keep dating othersz. This guy still sounds like a player. Like the posters above stated, he turned the MIA thing around on you, know full well what he did. Kudos on dating other guys. It should be easier for you to drop this guy. You def deserve more than a guy that goes MIA on you

apm101

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Okay so basically I met this guy online (extremely creepy I know, it's so unlike me) and he's 24 and I'm 18 (again BEYOND creepy I am aware) and we've been texting for about two years now (don't freak, we've sent pics of our faces with our names written on our hands, I stalk him on facebook, etc.- I know he is who he says he is). I have fallen so hard for him and I've never even met him... I am so not that girl, but I guess I am. Anyway we went through a period when we were like barely texting (it wasn't all day every day like it always was) and so obviously I start freaking out and I tell him I love him... I wanted him to know so I wouldn't have to keep torturing myself to see if he felt the same. So he definitely did not say it back... In fact we stopped texting after that for about two months. So I'm kinda over him when all of a sudden he texts again and we talk again, all day everyday like it used to be. So obviously I fall again... (Side note: sexting was a very frequent thing with us but we never sent any nudes whatsoever) so then we sexted last night for the first time since I told him I loved him and he sent me a nude... Weird right?! Idk now im just even more confused because of course I love him all over again and idk I just feel like he wouldn't of done that if he didn't feel something for me because he knows how I feel about him... I am a very confused girl

NOW I'M WONDERING...

How do u think he feels about me?!

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dandeelyon

He seems pretty confusing but I think you should straight up confront him. You can't let him lead you on for years and years. There should be some sort of ultimatum. He might like you but probably is hesitant since you have a purely online/texting relationship.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He's a pervert who will never meet in person or have a real relationship with. Ditch him.

upandup143

Two years and you haven't meet?? This is not a relationship. As far as the texting, he prob just likes to have a "younger girl" to talk to/sext with... very creepy. Cut this off. As far as you being in love with him, you are filling in the mystery of him with your mind, imagining what he's like/what you want. You can't possibly truly know someone until you have spent a good amount of quality time with them. and no, texting does not come close to this. Don't waist any more of your mental or emotional energy on this guy. Fall for a guy that you will actually be able to hang out with in person!

apm101

idk guys... I mean I just feel like he knows me, like we're the same person or something. I've talked to guys like while I talked to him and idk I just didn't feel the same. I've never felt this way about anyone and I know the logic doesn't add up.... I just don't know!!! I'm so in love with him it's bad

andreav

Have you talked to real guys in real life for as long as you've had a relationship with him on your phone? I think you will be amazed at how much more rewarding it is to talk to a real guy...

apm101

Hey now he's real!! Haha and no I haven't which I know that's probly the reason I've fallen so hard for him is because I've never been this emotionally close to a guy idk it's just hard because it's solely dependent upon texting so I literally have 70 anxiety attacks a day when he doesn't respond... Like right at this very moment.... Lol

jhops TOP COMMENTER

It's your life. We can tell you what we think, but if you refuse to cut him out of your life, then it's your own problem. If you want to send him nudes which he will possibly share with many of his co-workers and friends, who are we to tell you no? If you want to spend all your life texting him till you are 30 and realise he is married while you are still single and wasted all your youth on this guy you have never met, who are we to say anything? So go on and do what you want.

ridz01

Did you consider voice or video chats?

annastasia0207

From experience, I can tell you that the sooner you meet this guy, the easier it's going to be for you in figuring out his feelings for you and your feelings for him. It's easy to fall in love with words on a screen but it's completely different falling in love with an actual person and if nothing else, it will be easier to clear up some of the confusion you two have when you officially make it "real" by meeting up in person and being physically with that person. With that being said, I agree with dandeelyon. I think the smart decision would be to just straight up tell him that you don't want to get hurt if he doesn't feel the same about you and you need him to know that you're not okay with picking things back up where they left off if you're just going to end up getting hurt. I will say though that I think you're seeing the fact that he sent you a nude in a very different light than most people would. I mean, you just told him you loved him and in reciprocation, he sends you....a nude? It seems to me this whole relationship you have with him is more of a lust/attention thing for him than a love thing.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Why haven't you met?

apm101

annastasia0207 that's very interesting what u say about me reacting differently to a nude because honestly I've never sent/received them before so I kinda don't know how to like normally react. And I definitely see him viewing us as more lust than anything else, but it's just I can't picture him leading me on like that because he knows exactly how I felt/feel about him you know? Like that's my one reservation is that he wouldn't of sent that if it didn't mean something more because he knows how much he could hurt me

apm101

torirule well we planned to a few times but like he lives across the country and it always fell through... I'm not great at sneaking away haha

apm101

jhops honestly thank u for that. Like I feel like reality just slapped me in the face... I needed to hear that. Because like what am I looking to get out of this in the long run? There's no plan it's just him being an idiot. I constantly think about what would happen if we met... Like if we really were perfect for each other.. That's the only thing stopping me from letting him go, I'm just scared im not guna find anyone like him who gets me like he does.. But thanks I completely agree with u its just hard for me to accept it

torirule TOP COMMENTER

this just sounds like a fantasy relationship, he may even be a catfish, not who he says he is, in a relationship with someone else....you just don't know. The whole thing is creepy and has been going on too long. And it's giving you major anxiety as you say, not healthy. Time to start meeting some boys in the real world and forget this guy.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

No worries, girl. We've all been there, I just wanted to lay it out to you, because I know your friends will tell you nice things that will make it harder for you to make the right decision. It's hard to accept because your feelings are real, but what you know about him isn't. You don't know how he is like in person because you had ZERO interaction. It was all in your head. A dream guy in your head you've created. You sound like a logical person. How well do you truly know this person? Would you want to be with a guy who sends you a nude when he hasn't even met you, or that was his response to "I love you"? Do you know how many other girls he could be sending that to? Girl, pull yourself together, go out and meet someone who lives near you, who will treat you like a lady, not like a dirty camgirl. You accept the love you deserve. Your choice if you think this is good enough.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

And there's nothing wrong with meeting people online, but I cut guys off after 4 or 5 exchanges, if they didn't ask me on an actual date or at least for my number so we could hear each other's voice. Never spend that much time talking online. You an meet the guy online, but you need to get to know them in person. I met my fiancée online but my emails to him where about 1 sentence long. If he wanted to he know me he had to meet me in person. He asked me for my number on the second email and asked me out after a 5 minute convo. I also never spend too much time texting or taking to guys for hours on the phone. I felt that if a guy wants my undivided attention for 2 hours ten he should at least make time to see me face to face and take me out on a real date. So don't be afraid of online dating, just don't waste time with guys that just want to be penpals.

soccergirl

HERE'S THE DEAL...

There is a new guy at my school. He's a junior and I'm a sophomore. I would always see him and make eye contact during passing time to go to our classes. I know some of his new friends, and whenever I would pass him in the halls he would always look at me or he would mess around with this friends to try to "act cool". He got my snapchat from someone and we started snapchatting on there for hours. Weeks went by and he still talks to me. But then on the weekend he snapchatted me and asked if I wanted to go to a movie or something that night and I did. We talked at school for the rest of the week. He wanted to set up two of his friends. One from his old school and one from our school. He asked me if I could go and he said "I really want you to even though there will be other people there". That was on Saturday. It was awkward since I didn't know the people and he was the only one that all of us knew. I didn't really talk much cause the guys were doing most of it, but me and the girl did talk a little bit. Not much though. Now on Monday he saw me once and didn't say anything. We usually smile and say hi.

We don't usually talk in school cause we don't have any classes together and our lockers are on total opposite ends. (I'm still in the junior area even though I'm a sophomore) But we talk all the time on the dates.
And the friend that he brought from his old school is a girl that he's known for 7ish years and are REALLY close .

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm wondering if by me not talking much or it being awkward on that Saturday during the double date that something went wrong? Do you think by her being really close with him she said something bad about me or said something about me that he didn't like?
Nothing went wrong or bad during it! We were with everyone during it so no one was ship seeing or talking by themselves.
When he has mentioned her before he has always said "don't worry. She's like a sister to me so I would never date her." -reassuring me

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soccergirl

Oh and the next day after our first date he said " Hey! :)I had a really fun time!" And now after the second "double date" he still hasn't said anything to me about it. Or even talked to me. But we have seen each other.

annastasia0207

He might have mistook your silence and awkwardness feeling as not enjoying yourself on the date. If that's the case, he probably feels embarrassed and puts it on himself for you not enjoying the night or might feel like you're not interested in him anymore. You could try sending him a quick text, something along the lines of "Hey, I meant to tell you that I had a really fun time on Saturday! Sorry I was kinda quiet, but hopefully we can do something again soon!" Just reassuring him that you're still interested but still putting the ball in his court to make the next move.

2009

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm in the very early days of a relationship. My boyfriend is wonderful in many, many ways but he's got eating habits from hell and I've always been very very healthy. I'm struggling because he always makes comments about needing to go to the gym to get in shape (and I'm sure he does, he'd be at risk of type 2 diabetes) so he's obviously self conscious about it but then he's suggesting that we eat junk food. Is there some way to help? I'm at a loss because I'm not sure that I can handle being with someone that has that kind of lifestyle long term. And yet we really do get along so well and seem like a great match in other ways

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

You can't really tell him not to eat junk food for you. He has to want to do it for himself. Just like how someone who wants to quit smoking must want to do it for their own health, or they will just go back to it. If it's a dealbreaker, talk to him about it -- that getting in shape requires total lifestyle modification. It's not just about going to the gym, then pigging out after. The angle you are going for is that you're concerned for his health, not because you want to control him. See how he responds to that, and if he is willing to take steps to start eating better. It will not be realistic that he will change overnight though, so you may have to meet him halfway.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

Thanks jhops, sounds like good advice, shall give it a go! Haha I keep reminding myself that no two people are exactly the same

ttpw

One thing you could do is try and be a good role model (which sounds you already are). If you're always eating healthy and going to the gym, you're setting an example as well as making him feel a little isolated in his bad habits. You can try that as well as perhaps exercise together and see if anything changes. Then if it doesn't, make give it a couple weeks, sit down with him and tell him how you feel. You can try just pointing out how it seems like he really wants to get in shape, but he doesn't do anything, and you want to help him but you're not sure how. Don't drop the bomb that this could be a dealbreaker though. Just say it honestly bothers you, and since you're interested in being with him long-term, you wonder sometimes if it could become a problem ("become" a problem is a bit softer way of a way to tell him rather than "is" a problem I think) Hope this helps!

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

I once dated a guy like this and it really bugged me. It eventually started grossing me out and I just couldn’t date him anymore, even though he wasn’t obese or anything, just out of shape and ate/drank too much unhealthy crap. I don’t think you can really say anything to him about how it bothers you without it coming off as extremely rude. It’s his problem, not yours. Don’t have a talk with him. Basically, just set a good example by being your usual healthy self. He may start following along, or he might not. You can’t change him, unfortunately, you can only figure out whether his behavior bugs you enough to end things, or if it’s just something you're willing to compromise on since you like everything else about him so much.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

Thank you all for your advice, you gave me lots to think about :)

jack5_castillo

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I told him that if he didn't like me it's ok and I told him I like him then he texted me uuuh

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he in to me or not

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jack5_castillo

The message before that just said like I f u like me tell me soo I don't have these feelings for someone that's gonna leave me in the long run

jhops TOP COMMENTER

He straight up said he only wants to be a friend. That is a nice way to say, "I don't want to be in a r/s with you". And also added he cannot text because of "family policies". I wouldn't text him anymore, girl. You're still young, enjoy being in school, and being a kid. Boys will always be there.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He clearly stated he's not into you...

torirule TOP COMMENTER

you are too young to be 'in a relationship' anyway.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

No, not into you. He just let you down the best way he could.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

That's a very polite "no".

esserebelle

HERE'S THE DEAL...

My boyfriend said I rely on him too much. I don't think I do.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

He's been not very kind lately. After him saying this, it made me feel very unappreciated. What do y'all think? was it really rude or what? Thanks!

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marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

He could have said it in a kinder, less confrontational way. But regardless of whether it was rude or not, it is how he feels, and it is a MAJOR warning sign that he is pulling away and that you may be treading into breakup territory. You a couple of choices really: 1. continue to argue with him that he was being rude and he should be happy that he's the center of your world and push him away even further until he breaks up with you. or 2. Tell him "Hey, I'm sorry I got so defensive, I just felt a bit attacked by the way you stated things. But I've given it some thought, and while I don't really feel that you're the center of my world, I do agree that it would be helpful to our relationship to have a bit more space to do our own thing." Then you guys can discuss how to change things from there. And then give him lots of space until you work through this. Hang out with your girlfriends, take a class, do some fun stuff on your own. It's hard, but it's what you have to do and it's likely your only chance at staying with him. On the other hand, if he's just being a real jerk and his complaint is only based on the fact that you contacting him or wanting to hang out with him at all annoys him, then there may be no fixing this. If that's the case, you deserve better and should end things with him.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

I agree it would be good for you to pull away and be independent for a few weeks, I don't think you even need to explain to him that is what you are doing, just do it and show him through your actions. Don't break up with him or anything, just don't be the first to text, not even just to say hi, don't ask 'when can we catch up', get busy doing other things with your girlfriends and your interests. When you're married with kids it makes sense that they are your whole world, but when it's just your boyfriend it can be a bit much. He obviously wants a bit of space and maybe wants you to be a bit more of a challenge, not smothering him. So if you love him, listen to what he is saying.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Let's be honest--it means he's not as into you as you are into him. There's no potential here.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

I agree with the others but I also think that what he is saying isn't a terrible thing. Everyone requires different levels of independence (even within relationships). All that this indicates to me is that your need for independence is less than his. It's not something to argue over. It's almost like that pink song "leave me alone (I'm lonely)" Honestly just take the opportunity to do things that you want to by yourself.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

Also independence is actually an incredibly attractive quality. Most people prefer to feel wanted rather than depended upon.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Agreed with what everyone said. Also, when you're angry and emotional, wait till you're no longer feeling all those before replying to say this is not a conversation to have over the phone. When they are ready, you can talk about it in person.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

He could be saying a lot of things - he's not happy, you're not a good fit, he feels smothered --- some of those are fixable, some of them are not. Discuss them calmly in person - not in text. Being "the world" for someone would freak me the hell out, others might think it's just perfect. To each their own.

flyyblkindi

HERE'S THE DEAL...

He added me on Facebook! He claim he's been watching me for awhile! We finally meet in person and have a nice brunch and good convo! Before meeting he'd always text me Good Morning and Have a good day! He does the same now, but he doesn't answer the phone like that and we've never had a long phone convo! So I'm confused on if he's feeling me or not?!?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he into me? Or Is he too BUSY to talk? But isnt it nice he sends me a GM text every morning?!? Ion know man

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cococrunches

Try flirting with him on text and see if he flirts back?

jazzfishy

Hes been "watching" you......????

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Guys are never too busy to see the girl they like. If he hasn't asked you out on a real face to face date, he's no that into you. He knows how to reach you and he has your number. Does he work Saturday nights? Because if he's not out with you Saturday night he is either out with the girl he really does like or out with friends looking for girls? Guys are not that complicated. They don't send mixed signals. Don't waste your time waiting for this guy. Go out and meet other guys that will do more than just text you or add you on Facebook. And texting him and flirting with him is not going to make him like you, it's just going to make you look desperate. It sucks, but it's just the way guys are.

torirule TOP COMMENTER

Just wait and see if he asks you out for a second date. If he doesn't then he's not that keen. If he's not answering or calling back when you call, definitely stop calling him.

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