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Kadeem: What should you do with all your feelings?

By Kadeem Hylton | Feb 05 2014


Once you open yourself up to going out and meeting new people, you're bound to develop feelings for a guy or two. However, at times the feelings you develop can be so profound that you don't know how to express them or you may be too afraid altogether.

Guys want honesty from you. There’s no question about that. But, every guy has a different degree of emotional honesty they can take in one sitting and your job is to be sensitive to that. So, go ahead. Tell him how you feel, but consider these few things first:

1) Is it too soon?
Timing is everything. The first few dates are great for letting him whether you're interested or not. Keep it right there: I am interested in you, which is usually expressed as, "I'd like to see you again sometime" or "I'd be interested in a second date, if you'd like.” On the first date, let interest be the only thing you communicate.

2) What kind of guy is he?
Getting a feel for his style should let you know how to deliver your message. Mainly, if he isn't too expressive about "feelings" find subtle ways to communicate your thoughts.

3) Is it a mutual concern?
You won't always know before you share your feelings if the other person feels similarly or even has an opinion on the subject. Still, consider it. Has he said or done anything that would make it a possibility. If you are unsure, proceed with care.

4) Why do I need to share this?
The reason is vital because it also guides the way we share it. Whatever your message, make sure it is appropriate to be shared. Once there is no logical reason to avoid talking about it, you should be fine bringing it up.

5) Is it too honest?
Yeah, there is such a thing. While the truth always remains, being honest becomes being too honest when you're no longer being sensitive to how the recipient feels. You set out to offend and possible scare the person with this hyper-honesty. The point to remember in all of this is that your feelings are important, and your honesty serves a purpose: securing your chances with your guy.

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