By Jared Freid | Sep 16 2013
Every Monday, Jared, one of our favorite HeTexted Bros, takes questions from his mailbox and answers them for the HeTexted audience. If you’d like to ask Jared a more personal question, find him in the “Bros” section of the site.
Q. Hey Jared, I met this guy on Friday night and he asked for my number. He texted me later that night until the next day, and this is how our conversation went:
Guy: Pleasure meeting you..hope you got home safe ;)
Me: Thanks, I did. Good meeting you too :)
Guy: How's ur day going?
Me: So ready to get out of work and start my Saturday! you?
Guy: My day is going well...i was at the beach when i texted you earlier. thats when i said hello
Guy: Can i buy you a drink later?
Me: That sounds fun but i already have plans tonight. another time?
I know it's only been less than a day, but i haven't heard back. Did I say something wrong? I'm interested in him but i didn't want to break my plans for the night. what do you think?
This girl has done everything correct. I know it’s been “less than a day” but she started texting and this guy set a “text tone.” Both parties know when that tone has changed. Girls have such a quick trigger for the “I’m being crazy” that they forget that they’re not being that crazy. There’s a “1%” out there that has nothing to do with the economy. It’s the 1% of people who “aren’t good texters” and “are busy” and “didn’t see that text.” We try to put everyone it doesn't work out with into that 1% of excuses but, 99% of the time, it’s what we want to believe and not the reality that this just isn't working out.
I’m not sure if it’s over with this guy. If he gets in touch later in the day, makes a plan for a drink or dinner for later that week then she should go with it and have fun. Maybe one of those 1% reasons really did come up but probably not. What probably happened is that he met a girl at a bar and pushed for a quick meeting, because he thought there could be a quick hook-up. When the quick meeting didn’t happen and the door wasn’t even left open for drinks after her current plans, then he had to reassess. Does he want to put in the time? Does he want to go on an actual date? Does he want to start from the beginning? Since she didn't jump at the first opportunity to hang out it means that she’s probably not going to jump at the first chance to hook-up. There will be work.
If this guy doesn’t get back to her, she shouldn’t be upset. This wasn’t about her not being fun or pretty or smart. It was about a guy meeting a girl at a bar and seeing how far he could get. She should consider it a bullet dodged.
Jared Freid is a comedian and HeTexted “Bro” based in NYC. You can ask him dating questions here or find him on Twitter (@JTrain56) for weekly columns and podcasts he produces for TotalFratMove.com.