He Texted

Bro Advice: Why won't he text me back?

By Kadeem Hylton | Nov 21 2013


One of the questions I get the most is, “Why won’t he text me back?” I see this question in my inbox almost everyday. Ladies often analyze every aspect of the texts they receive from their guy. Something like the usage of smiley faces (or lack thereof) can quickly become an in-depth investigation into what hidden intention a guy has. This is essentially why not hearing back from a guy can be so daunting. But honestly, it isn't as complicated as it is frequently made out to be. Guys prefer to keep things as simple as possible, so try to remember that and you won't over-complicate the situation.

A lot of times, if a guy hasn't texted you back it is because he merely hasn't responded…yet. His response is coming. Be patient. I’ve had some concerned ladies ask me why a guy hasn’t responded to a text they sent earlier that day. I advise waiting until the next day before jumping to conclusions, lest you appear to be desperate. You never want to let a guy feel suffocated. Sending long chains of texts to find out why he hasn’t responded is the perfect way to do exactly that. Imagine his thoughts after finally getting to check his messages after a business meeting or a long trip on the subway, perhaps. You automatically give the impression that you're overly attached and needy. On the other hand, if 2 or more days go by with no word from him, you’re concerns may be legitimate. The guy you’re talking to likely has little interest in you, if any at all. When you find a large amount of time going by without him checking in, something (or someone) else has his attention more than you do.

Some guys just aren’t big on texting. He may have his phone on him, but because he isn’t prone to checking his phone, he may not respond at first. A delayed response isn’t always a sign you’re being ignored. I have a friend who is in a long distance, long-term, committed relationship. Texting and phone calls are, essentially, ALL they have. Still, her boyfriend is a horrible texter. He was like that before they were a couple, and even though they're together now, nothing has changed. He is still a horrible texter. This friend of mine would end up losing all her hair if she stressed over every minute she didn't receive a response, but she doesn't because she knows that he isn't necessarily ignoring her. Once you understand your guy’s texting habits, you'll have a lot more clarity.

The fact is things do happen. We all have lives to live, and because of that no one has 100% availability. Try not to freak out too much. What always trumps the frequency of the text is the quality of the conversation. If he doesn't text often and you go through an entire day without hearing from him, but when you do get in touch with him you have a dialogue with true substance, you may want to reconsider any complaints on his texting habits.

Lastly, guys will text you back if they like you. So take a step back and wait for a response. The combination of what he says to you and how frequently you speak will help you determine, if he likes you or not.

That said, if you forget about all the normal and completely common reasons (listed above) for a text delay from a guy, and you begin to send repeated texts to his phone, it should be expected that you might not hear from him anymore. Yes, texting the potential guy of your dreams can be exhilarating and you may even lose track of everything going on around you while you text, but don't allow your anticipation of an immediate response to cloud your better judgment. Just wait it out.

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