elise

HERE'S THE DEAL...

We hooked up only once and we exchanged numbers

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Here is the text body:
Me: Hey this is elise
Him: It was nice meeting you tonight
Me: Had a great time!
Him: Thank you ! so did I

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maddengirl21

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I keep running into guys who flirt heavily. I flirt back. I've been playing coed flag football and have met a bunch of guys. Two guys seemed really interested in me. They are always talking to me. Two guy always high five me, touch me when they can, talk during the games and after the games. So I decided to get the phone numbers from the two guys. Guy One texted back an hour later with a smiley face and an exclamation and said Hey. I tried texting him to get a conversation going, but he gives short answers back like good! or just or short sentence. I can't get the conversation going. So I just said something back to what he said, but didn't ask a question and then nothing happened. The other guy (Guy 2) when he left the football field he turned back to me and said hey text me ok. So I texted him and he said hey as well with and exclamation then I waited maybe 20 minutes then texted back. I heard nothing back. I didn't text the first day I got the numbers because I was busy that night So I texted them both the next day. They both seemed excited to talk and happy I asked for the number then it's like nothing. My one friend said just ignore them and move on. If either were interested they would ask me something or try to engage with me to get to know me. I don't know this seems to happen a lot with guys that they seem interested, but they don't take it further. I even get guys from other teams hitting on me all the time where their buddies say stop fraternizing with the enemy or instead of tagging me they hug me and I joke about it with them, but they don't ask for my number or try to engage further. I feel like I'm always stuck asking guys for their numbers, but then nothing happens from there.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

What am I doing wrong? Am I not sending out strong enough vibes? Am I misreading these guys? How do I get the guys to take more initiative in asking for my number or trying to get to know me once I have their number and we start texting?

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northeastchick

I think you need to stop trying so hard. If guys are asking for your number then they are interested however, who knows why they don't follow through. Thats not your fault its whatever they have going on! Unless you are deliberately texting them 100 times or picking your nose in front them I would say your not doing anything wrong! You text them you can't send any stonger vibes than that! Don't push it things will happen with the right guy! Don't change what your doing!

annastasia0207

The only thing that I could think that you're doing "wrong" per say is if the guys know/overheard/saw you asking other guys for their numbers. I could see that being kind of a turn off, knowing that they're not the only guy you're talking to. Also, idk I think you should lay off on making the first move first. It seems to be that the guys that you're talking to like a challenge. By you full force pursuing them, they already know they can get you so there's no point in putting any effort into you. As annoying as that is. Try waiting until a guy asks for your number and texts you first. Give yourself a break and let the guys do the work to impress you, instead of the other way around

sami_w

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Long story. I was seeing my best friends brother for a few months (she set us up), and it was going well but he decided he wasn't over his ex and so they got back together. He would still call me, text me and try and see me even when they got back together. Every now and then he would tell me how unhappy he was and he only got back with her to give it one more go otherwise he would always wonder. He used tell me how much he wanted to be with me, how I made him happy etc. But then the next day he would suddenly get amnesia! Anyway after many months of this he finally said they'd broke up and he wanted us to start seeing eachother again. I told him I was apprehensive but he wanted to prove to me that it was over and he wanted to start with me again. Well from being lovely one minute to a few days later he started acting like a d*ck all the time, barely spoke to me, it became awkward and all he wanted was one thing...sex. He just treated me like sh*t! Then one night, we were both out separately with friends, I ended up back at his and we just got into a massive row. He was nasty and all I tried to do was calm him down because he was so angry. Anyway it was all 'you're fcking this, fcking that, fck off' sort of stuff. I'd never seen this side to him. Since then we hadn't spoken, that was 3 weeks ago. But I saw a pic of him and his 'ex' together at a gig and found out they're back on. So no contact from him...until I received the attached whatsapp from him a few days ago.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

My question is, is why has he contacted me now? I don't understand his message....he was never sure what I really wanted?! He knew I liked him otherwise I wouldn't have hung around for so long! And is the message more initiating contact? Or putting his mind at rest and ending things on a better note rather then bitter? I wouldn't go back there anyway but this message has been bugging me! And then he responds to my response as 'I'm alright'....what's the point??

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

It sounds like an half-assed apology for being a jerk, considering you're his sister's best friend. Don't read too much into it, except for the fact that he is a wanker. Move on.

amy101

I can imagine how hard this must be for you as you clearly liked this bloke and seem to have given him more than one chance. First of all, any man that says hes not over there ex and then gets back with them - stay well away from. I too made this same mistake and it ended up becoming a very emotionally abusive relationship for three and a half years and i wouldnt want anyone to go through that. Your situation sounds very familiar to mine. The reason he is messaging you is because he is trying to see if you are still available so that he can still keep you as an option. He is still clearly spending time with his ex, and still clearly has feelings for her. While this is all apparent you shouldnt even bother giving him the benefit of the doubt. I would say leave it and remain civil as he is your friends brother - BUT how dare he swear at you and disrespect you, when youve done nothing but be nice to him by the sounds of it. He just wants to have you and his ex, and hes frustrated because shes still an on-off thing, and he probably likes you too because he briefly had something with you before as well. I think hes an arsehole who wants everything and because youve left him to it hes now throwing his rattle out of the pram.

amy101

The reason he text back only saying "im alright" after his paragraph message is because he got what he wanted - you to respond. Thats all he wanted to know because to him it means that you will still respond even after everything. If he really cared he would have continued a conversation with you and really shown how sorry he was, after all he was totally disrespectful to you. If you hadnt of replied it would have left him thinking that he doesnt own you and that you will not respond to his every beck and call. So just learn from this, stay away from him, delete his number. If you see him out and if you feel like you want to say hi, then do so (i personally wouldnt) but if you want to then do it, but that should be all you say if he asks how you are just say im fine with a smile and walk off - it will annoy him so much and you are better than all of this so find someone who really cares about you and dont settle for ignorant guys like him. Hope you feel better and smile after reading this.

lola_5

He has a guilty conscience.

annastasia0207

Eck believe me, there are so many jerks out there like this and you're not the only one this has happened to, so don't get too down on yourself about it. I agree with everyone above, this guy is not interested in you because he's a conceited, selfish, and immature jerk and you two would so clash in a relationship. You can always spot these types of guys because they'll blame misunderstandings on you instead of taking responsibility for their actions. Next time he texts you, ignore him. If he texts you again after that, be civil with him and just let him know it's not going to work out. He'll act confused and pretend like he has no idea what happened and make you look like the idiot but ignore it and let it be. Like everyone else has said, you deserve much better than this guy who is just looking for someone to give him attention and boost his ego.

emilysalas

HERE'S THE DEAL...

need quick advise I'm a male

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Just broke up with my girlfriend of two years thinking of starting to date in six months is that too soon ? Or good?

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

It's only too soon if you're still not over your ex.

amy101

I dont ever think you can put a time limit on these things. To be honest, i think getting back out there and dating is part of the healing process, you will get to date and see what other people are like and you will be able to distinguish between what kind of qualities you now like in girls, compared to that of when you were single prior to your 2 year long relationship. If its of any help, my ex ended things with me and within a week i began dating. I thought it was too soon and it was in some ways but i dealt with it and i liked being able to see what qualities other people had to offer. I havent been in anything serious with anyone since but its a good way to get back out there. Do what feels right for you

nurse_7

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I have heard this when messaging guys before and I know other people who have heard it too, but what does it mean if you let a guy know you're irritated or upset with him about something and he replies with "I'll leave you alone if you want"?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Generally, are they trying to be nice by offering space or are they saying that to try and get out of the conversation?

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lola_5

Men are terrified of upset women, they don't know what to do and, invariably, they get it wrong whatever they do.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

They're getting out of the convo

alexrae15

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So, my brother's best friend and I decided to start being friends with benefits after having a late night cuddling with each other. We have been friends for almost 3 years and friends with benefits for almost 3 months. We don't hook up every weekend, only 3 times in the matter of 3 months. However, we do sext a lot. Lately I have noticed he hasn't been responding to my snap chats, but I know he has been talking to other people (ladies) instead of responding to me.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is it possible he has lost interest in being friends with benefits with me? Or am I over thinking it?

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traveler519

Yes, I would say it is safe to assume he has moved on.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

It would be natural for him to pay less attention to you when he is talking to other girls, especially if the other girl is someone he wants to date and not just hook up with

jhops TOP COMMENTER

That is one messy situation. I don't know what you want, but a guy who will bonk his best mate's sister and not want a serious r/s is a messed up guy to me. And yes, he's probably on to the next girl.

kittylove1234

HERE'S THE DEAL...

OK so I started graduate school a few months ago. I met this guy, he's a couple years older than me and also in my department. I went to one of his house parties (which are always pretty tame but really fun) and a group of us decided to go out to a bar/club. Before I knew it him and I were making out on the dance floor for almost 2 solid hours (so much fun, it felt like nobody else existed) and since then we've been texting/flirting/hooking up for about a month. When we are together he's really cute i.e. holds my hand, buys drinks, gives me all of his attention even when we are in a large group of our friends. However he does not seem to be a big texter. He always replies when I text him and will carry on a conversation but he rarely initiates them.
I decided I wanted to see if he wanted to take things a little further so I texted him and said that I'd like to do something (just us, no friends or parties involved), my reasons being that I had been having a lot of fun with him, that I liked him, and that I wanted to get to know him better. He responded with "Yea that sounds good to me. I will say that the next 3 weeks are going to be crazy for me so if I go MIA, only coming out on select nights, don't take it the wrong way!"

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I don't think he's making up the part about being super busy. We are both grad students in biomedical engineering...things are bound to get nuts. But in the back of my mind I'm wondering if he said it just to give him an excuse to blow me off? Or is he genuinely making sure I don't get offended?

I realize I probably am reading way too far into this. I really like this guy, which naturally is making me overthink everything that happens between us. Ugh. Help me.

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traveler519

Hmm... I think with this one you're just going to have to let it play out. Pull back a bit and don't initiate the first text and see if he reaches out.

kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

Don't initiate like the other poster said. If he wants to be with you he will initiate and seek you out

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

I don't think he's looking for anything serious

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

His response isn't a good sign at all.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

If you like someone, you make time for them. If you've been hooking up for a month, and he still has not taken you out for a proper date, it sounds like the r/s is pretty casual.

katie_3

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Met this guy a little over a year ago. We were immediately attracted to one another and had what I thought was going to be my first one night stand (I was visiting his city three hours away). However, he kept calling and texting after that. I ignored him for awhile, but then we ended up talking quite a lot and hooked up several times when I was in his city for work.

About five months ago, I realized I was developing feelings for him and asked him not to contact me anymore. I had asked him this before and he didn't really listen, so this time I told him I really meant it. He didn't contact me for five months, until last week when he send a text asking how I was doing. As it happened, I was in his city at the time he texted, but I didn't let him know. The next day he texted and I said I was on my way home, which he was unhappy about.

I sent him a flirty text yesterday (see? I can't control myself when we start talking again) and told him I wanted a picture of him. He was pretty serious with me, and was clearly not happy that I hadn't told him I was there.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm a little surprised he was upset I didn't tell him I was there... as we hadn't talked in months. I knew if I told him, he would talk me into jumping into bed. I'm going to end up getting hurt if that happens because I still have feelings for him. Is there any chance I can turn this into a relationship? Or should I just leave it where it is and not respond to him anymore?

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traveler519

Is he willing to put in the effort to come see you as well? It's not like 3 hours is really that bad, it could truly be an every weekend deal for you to see each other. I travel a lot though so maybe while 3 hours is not much to me, it might be to others.

kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

You can never turn a hook up into a relationship since you already gave it away. Your best bet is to have him pursue you, then state your case that what you are seeking is a relationship, a committed monogamous relationship. If he persists in contacting you then he wants this too. If he buggers off there you go there's your answer

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

You have to cut off all contact.

marionemelia TOP COMMENTER

He's just mad you didn't hook up with him.

tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

I agree with marionemelia, he's mad because he missed the chance to hook up w/you. If you want to have a relationship with him, you have to be honest with him about your feelings and stand your ground. If he's wishy washy or not ready to commit, then you need to cut off contact with him, don't let him string you along and play with your feelings.

meadowvole4231_2

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So me and this guy matched on tinder a few weeks ago. He was super into texting me and everything until Friday, when we finally met up (the length was due to busy schedules). When we actually met up it was fun and comfortable and when I left he kissed me on the cheek and made it obvious that he wanted us to meet again. After Friday, his texts have gotten short and boring. In this one he sends me a message asking me what's up...but as you can see he doesn't text with much detail afterward.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he into me? Like he's making the effort to text me, but it's not like it used to be before the meet up. Did something go wrong on our meet up? But if that's the case, then why is he still making the effort to text me?

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He's keeping you on the back burner

hopelessly_devoted

Flute practise? Anything would be a better response than that. Or maybe just say 'nothing, and yourself?' Honestly ...

kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

Keep your commentary short when you respond to his texts. Let him lead the conversation and see where it goes.

traveler519

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Update and not sure what to do.
Recap: I am moving 400 miles away from home next month. Joined a dating site on Sept 13 and advertised myself in that city so I could meet people prior to moving. I will be in that city every other weekend til my move. Sept 22 Rob emailed me; put actual effort into conversating. Asked me out via email 2 days later. Had first date Sept 28 when I was in town. Went well, conversation flowed, he said to let him know the next time I was in town as he would like to take me on one of the boat dinner cruises on Lake Michigan. Also said to let him know if I ever needed a pickup from the airport he would be glad to do so. Very next day he texted to make sure I had made it home ok. We had short sporadic texting for a few days but mostly job related (he wants a new career and was interested in my work and I had offered to help him by putting in a word) .
5 days and no word from him I shot him a text on October 8. He asked when I would be in town again, I told him, and he offered to pick me up from the airport. I declined because I already had a shuttle arranged. He did NOT ask to see me for a date. At that point, I said screw it, if he’s into me, he will let me know. I threw myself back onto the dating site (no luck, mostly just losers want a quick lay).
And now THIS: Last night, 10 days after we last spoke, this is what I get:
Him: Hey how’s it going stranger?
Me: Good! Standing in line with my niece to do XYZ. How are you?
Him: Nice sounds fun! I’m good. My boys are staying the night with me tonight and I’m just relaxing with them.
Me: Awesome, I’m sure you’ve had a great day then.
Him: Yeah, good day for sure. Have fun yourself! When are you back in Chicago?
Me: I MAY be back next weekend but I’m debating doing XYZ in Florida. So, if not this weekend, I will be back on the 28th for the whole week.
Him: Cool, keep me posted!
Me: Will do. Enjoy the rest of your night! My niece and I are about to go in now.
Him: Awesome! Enjoy. :)

NOW I'M WONDERING...

#1. Interested or not?
#2. What is implied by the "hey stranger"? It had been 10 days since we had spoken, but I just assumed since he made no effort to text in those days that I just didn't make that much of an impression on him.
#3. Maybe just the fact that I currently live 400 miles away is making him not pursue me/talk to me more often??
#4. Does it seem like he wants me to initiate contact more or??

ANY thoughts welcome!! I am torn between feeling like no one else he is meeting from the dating site is panning out and *that* is why he got back in touch --OR-- he has just been waiting for me to come back to town and was expecting me to text him.

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Maybe just wait until you move there to start talking to guys? The distance makes internet dating even more complicated and it seems from your posts like you're stressing about this situation more than you ought to

torirule TOP COMMENTER

he was just checking in to see that you are still there. when you know for sure when you will next be in his town, send him a text and then see if he asks you out on another date.

mrsbillygil

Eh id stop bothering w him. He may be into u but busy but if he's going to make it this hard, its not worth it.

gabbyt5

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I met him at a school retreat last year in may and we got to know each other a little. He constantly told me that I was funny even though my family and half of my friends think otherwise. At the camp, we were all going to the camp fire and he sat next to me. We talked and laughed and listened to the counselors speeches. I noticed whenever the group started to laugh, we would naturally look at each other. Later on, scary story telling began to be told and I told my friends and him and that I get scared easily. So the stories started and he put his arm around me and pulled me in. Whenever the story got scarier, he would pull me in tighter. But at the end of the night, nothing happened. He kind of just walked back to his cabin. When we came back to school, I was talking to my friends about this trampoline place and he said that we should go sometime. So he gave me his number and told me to text him so he can have my number and then when I wanted to go in summer. In summer, my friends and I were going to go so I texted him and he couldn't go because he was hanging out with a girl named Arianna. They're not dating. It wasn't until after that did I realize that I actually had feelings for him. We texted over summer and a little bit this year in school but mostly school related topics. I think he likes me as a friend but I want to be more than just friends. This the most recent text conversation that we've had.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does he like me just as a friend?

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kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

His texts does not hint at whether he likes you or not. Why not just ask him? You have nothing to lose

gabbyt5

I guess that I'm just don't want to ruin our sort of friendship because I definitely like being around him. There's been times when a guy friend has told

barbs

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So i really like this guy. We have been talking for months now and meet occasionly. last week my phone broke and he called me a day later saying he was worried and if i was fine since i hadnt been on whatsapp. He picked me up from a friends place and drove me home. He said he missed me and we kissed. He keeps calling me sweetheart.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

So now im wondering if he actually likes me and wants a serious relationship

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Why do you only meet occasionally?

barbs

Caus he had moved away and came back 2 months ago but now we plan on seeing each other 2-3 times a week

mrsbillygil

See if he follows through w that.

esserebelle

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I do love my boyfriend with all of my heart. But we see eachother only on weekends, one day of the weekend at that, so it's a tough relationship already. On top of that, I barely get attention from him. We barely talk anymore and I'm feeling very abandoned. I've recently talked to an old guy friend and I'm falling for him, only because my boyfriend and I are so distant right now. This guy gives me attention and truly cares for me, which is the opposite of how I'm feeling with my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend but I can't feel shoved to the side anymore.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Advice please? Thank you!

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0nbrightside

it could be tough to hear and to accept, but from what you've said you put and end to your relationship. I mean, you say you still love him, but yet you're falling for another one, that could maybe mean that yes you do love your bf but not as you used to, the flame is fizzling out, and your love for him is not strong enough to keep you by his side no matter what. And that means you're unhappy, and you should do what will make you happy in the long run. kisses

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

Have a heart to heart talk with your bf.

annastasia0207

There was this quote that I read once by Johnny Depp that stuck with me and it was something along the lines of "If you love two people at the same time and are trying to decide what to do next, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second." I definitely think you should have a talk with your boyfriend like g_love12 said and let him know how you're feeling, but in the end I think it's time to let go because it's obvious you can't give all of you to your current boyfriend.

kitkat0983 TOP COMMENTER

It's obvious your bf lack of attention has made you lose interest in him. Never stay in an unhappy relationship. A relationship is suppose to make you happy.

jojo007

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Me and this guy had history together but for some particular reasons we couldnt be together..its not really important right now as its lets say a new beginning if anything
Im just trying to think if we can be together or not...let me tell u a bit of texting we did and please help me figure ouy something
Well now we will have to work together and he will be my video director for my music video
The day before yesterday he came back from holidays and texted me guess who is back
I said oh nice
He said did u cry when i was gone ?
I said yes cause u missed my birthday
I said ur 21 now arent u
I said yes forever 21
He said I bought an awesome camera for ur video
I said sounds great x
He said almost as great as me kissing u ?
I said yes
Next day he texted at 11pm R u awake ?
and the rest of the conversation u can see on the screenshot

After he asked me if i was awake yesterday i added him on snapchat but he never added me back and he didnt watch my story

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Look guys im really trying to figure out why he said nooooo and why he didnt add me on snapchat
Tell me ur thoughts please
This is tricky or is it clear of something..i just cant seem to understand and im pretty sure that he wont answer that question for me ...i guess next he texts will be hi how r u or other things but i doubt he will answer why he said nooo
Please tell me what possibly can that mean
Thank you so much

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He texted you late at night and asked for pics...

jojo007

well so why didnt he add me back on snapchat and get pictures? why did he say nooooo ..... any guy who would want pictues would just do that dont you think? it seems like he didnt add me on purpose but im trying to figure out a reason for it..any ideas?

mrsbillygil

Is this the guy you posted about a couple months ago? He seemed sleazy then and seems sleazy now. Plus, why haven't you done this music video yet? Is it possible that he's lying about that to get in your pants?

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

I don't know what his deal is but he doesn't sound like bf material

tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

He's not interested/doesn't care that much.

sophiesmith999

HERE'S THE DEAL...

meet this boy during the summer though mutual friends - we snapchatted for a bit but i found i was always starting the conversations so i left it - anyway 6 weeks later he is now popping up to me trying to talk to me normally-- small talk such as hows work going tbh boring convos

anyway last night he send me a snapchatt saying my boobs where amazing after he saw my insta pic he was also saying he loved them and i am blessed ect we where flirting all night mainly talking about my boobs and how i was teasing him posting pictures like that - it was so so random considering he has never spoke like that before ?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

just a bit confused why he only has started taking to me now after weeks of not replying to me or trying to talk to me ???????????????????????????????????????

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andreav

I don't really consider that flirting. He's not being playful and saying he likes your personality or even that your pretty- he's just saying you have a nice rack which is kind of sleazy

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

He was talking to another girl. Then she either ditched him or he got bored so he started chatting with you again. He is super creepy and is probably hoping you'll send him naked pics

jhops TOP COMMENTER

He vanished, reconnected only to have a conversation about your boobs all night. Can anyone say booby trap? Girl, you know this boy is bad for you, stop talking to him for your own sake.

xkenza

He sounds like shit, sorry. He probably just wants nudes, so please stop talking to him

tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

Lol @ xkenza. And yes, stop talking to him.

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