agirl

HERE'S THE DEAL...

We have been friends for almost 3 years and he moved overseas (as he was only in my country as an exchange student). We had always been flirty but he's kind of an player...I know this because he hasn't had any relationships (he's 23). He used to hook up with girls every weekend and although I had a crush on him, I knew he would never commit. But ever since he moved/before a few months he was moving, he had been different. I'm planning to go to his country as an exchange student next year, do I have a shot? He has said that all the girls he met were only interested in hooking up.

Some of my other texts with him:
Him: I kind of blame the girls too…it’s like how delusional are you?
Him: Sex on the first date? Really?
Him: It’s like girls are so naïve
Him: I just hope you don’t get played like that…no matter how good it seems
Me: …coming for you, you’re an unique one ;)
Him: Haha shut up, you are too
Me: Hehe
Him: I don’t talk about this stuff with anyone you know
Him: If I try and share with guy friends, they think I’m showing off or something
Him: So naturally, I have to keep certain things to myself
Me: Aww so am I special?
Him: Yes
Him: You’re like the only girl…or person for that matter that I’ve shared any of this stuff with
Me: I’m glad!! :)
Him: Seriously though, that’s why I got a little jumpy at the idea of you sharing this with anyone
Him: You’re the only one on the planet that knows this much about my life
Me: Wow that makes me feel dizzy
Him: Haha just thought I should clarify :P
Him: …not even my mum knows
Me: She shouldn’t!!
Him: Nooo. I mean you know more about me than my mum…mums know a lot about their sons yeah?
Me: Aw yeah I got it
Him: Well thank you
Me: For what?
Him: You’ve been most helpful with both listening and giving advices
Me: Aw no problem! That’s what friends are for right? ;)
Him: I’ll get you a fruit basket and some flowers
Him: Maybe take you on a date instead
Me: Dude! Sarcastic much?
Him: No for reals
Me: Oh yeah totally ;)
Him: Dude! Sarcastic much?
Me: Hehe
Him: You’re so mean. You never take me seriously. You don’t know what love is!
Me: Pshhh. I’m surprised you could even spell love ;)
Him: Go away
Him: So yeah I really want to see you
Me: Me too :( I miss your face
Him: One more year :) We can go to the taco loco place that overlooks the beach
Him: I could use my piece of chit motorcycle that has spider webs on it
Me: Aw we can sit on it and pretend to go vroom vroom ;)

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is there a possibility he would give up all the girls and just commit to me? Btw I'm turning 20 in almost a month.

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

There is 0 chance of that. This guy sounds like a complete douche bag.

gypsy1970

He just sounds like an incredibly good player.

honeypiesugar

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I've been dating this guy for 6 months, and 3 months ago he asked me to be his gf, and I said yes at that point because I didn't knew he was drinking that much. We met through a friend and entered into the relationship with clear intentions; that we wanted to get married and have kids (I don't come from a western culture, this is very common). Now I've slowly realized that he's the parting/drinking type (which is fine) but I'm super religious. I don't drink, never had sex, never done drugs etc. (you know all that) and his drinking is slowly getting to me. I feel sick to my stomach not for what he does (that's his life) but because I feel I'm compromising my values and everything I've learned from my upbringing. Talking doesn't work with this guy. We had an argument a couple of weeks ago, and I told him that I don't like him drinking and I tried to talk logically instead of feelings and then a week later he suddenly told me that he went to church. Obviously he's lying and instead of trying to make an effort to change, he's "covering his tracks" - which is the trigger point for me.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Do I break up with him? I really need some advise, and I have been crying a little, because I can't figure out what to do?

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

You obviously don't like him drinking and partying. He's probably not going to stop for you from the sounds of it. I personally don't see how that is bad unless he is an alcoholic, they are worse vices out there. I can't decide what your deal breaker is, you have to decide that yourself. If you have such strong opinions on him drinking, it's best you cut your losses, break up and find someone who share your values and religion.

bourdie1979

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I cant seem to let go of my ex-boyfriend... I've dated on and off since we split, but I miss him a lot I haven't been able to move forward in my life

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I ran into him not to long ago and although tried to play it cool, I was in and out of there within 30 seconds, it was hard to hold my emotions back. I got a text message two days later from him "it was surreal to see you...and then you were gone a minute later." I didn't really know how to respond to that, so I responded with "Good surreal or bad?"
He messaged back with "its fine..." and we left it at that.

I'm super confused...am I getting mixed messages am I just forcing myself to see something that's not actually there... I feel he is being cryptic.

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g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

I think he was just being friendly. I wouldn't read anything into it.

mslovemybae

HERE'S THE DEAL...

so me and my boyfriend were emailing and texting each other but then he stopped replying to my emails and text and its been two days since we last talked
he's been acting cool and only replying with one or a couple of words back then and im wondering where he is and what he's doing and that he hasn't told me where he is.
also I told him that I will visit him a on Friday at his house since we live apart I live in Virginia (for now) and he lives in Nevada.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

what does it mean when a guy doesn't email or text me after two days?
is he losing interest in me???
or did he find a new girlfriend??
or maybe..is he planning a surprise trip to see me?

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honeypiesugar TOP COMMENTER

You either did something that pissed him off or he's losing interest.

feejordan

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So met this guy off a dating site thing and hit it off really well-talk everyday and he's always asking questions and seems to care about my day to day life. He asked me out for a drink and we were meant to meet on a Friday but we just never got round to it. Bearing in mind I'm 17 and he's 20...and I've never done anything like this before so I'm slightly nervous of meeting him, but he's so lovely when I speak to him. We stopped texting for a while as I was trying to get my life in order but then I picked it back up again and it's so nice.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Problemo is that I'm kinda scared to meet him. Not that I don't believe he's a lovely guy but just because I've never done anything like this before and i don't want to ruin what we have over text...sounds silly but I don't know what I want from it.

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rxbfan04

If you're happy with a texting buddy, then you should keep it up! I understand you being nervous, especially cuz you are pretty young to be on a dating site. Does he know you're 17? IF you decide to meet him, make sure it is in a very public place, meet him there, and make sure your friends/family know where and when you are meeting him. It may not even be a bad idea to bring a friend along with you. Personally I think you should just enjoy being 17 and about to go off to college and not worry about dating. There will be plenty of time in your life to do that, just enjoy your life now.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

How will you get a drink if you're 17? Also, any 20 yr old that would date a 17 yr old is creepy.

annastasia0207

^she could live in a country where the drinking age is lower. But yeah, if you end up going out, be safe and go somewhere public and make sure he knows you're 17. I know you don't want to scare him off but it's better that he know now then find out later and be super mad that you didn't tell him all this time

orgirl_2

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I've been seeing a guy for about five months and we really click. We have so much fun and laugh a lot and get along really well. We agreed to be exclusive about a month into spending time together (but still don't have the boyfriend/girlfriend official title). He has decided to go back to school until January, and this takes up a lot of his time, leaving us with 1-2 times a week that we can have for each other. I'm willing to wait for the next few months and be patience with his schedule and stress load because we both agree that we really like each other, but my question is...

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Should I be pushing harder to define the relationship (official?) or should I be happy enough with the guidelines we're currently working in? I don't want to be one more thing he has to worry about, but I want to know there is a commitment there if I'm going to wait.

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

It's sweet that you don't want to be another worry in his life, but don't wait anymore, ask him in person where he sees this r/s is headed. Five months is a long time not to be defining it. It's not fair for you even if his stress load is high. Be prepared to walk away if he does not want to commit though.

rxbfan04

Totally agree with @jhops. You guys have already talked about being exclusive, so taking the step to have the official titles isn't that big of a jump. You should absolutely know there is a commitment from him if you're willing to do it. Relationships go both ways. Don't just accept the relationship for what it is if it isn't what you want. Don't settle. Good luck!

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

If he isn't willing to put a label on it, I'd be willing to bet he is talking to or seeing other people .

bbbball

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I (f24) recently reconnected with an old friend (m25) from college, he had always flirted with me but been shy and I dated his best friend for a while. I never really looked at him all the way, of course he was cute but when we recconeccted it was like I was seeing him for the first time. We started talking in October 2013 and communicated off and on throughout the winter and spring slowly escalating into talking everyday. He is in a band for a living and often tours, when he was on tour he would text me non stop 24hrs a day. We started video chatting and sending selfies back and forth with out own little code, he would send me videos and music he was working on and all sorts of stuff. Problem was, he was slowly ending a long distance relationship and it wasn’t going well. I know this should have been a red flag but I just couldn’t help it. When he and his ex finally broke it off for good we hung out constantly for two weeks. He left for a few shows in LA, which is where she lives, and fell off the map. For two weeks he texted me maybe once every 3 days and always in the middle of the night. He never said when he was coming back but did say that he had decided to give up his apartment in the city and live in the country for a while. When he finally came back to the city he didn’t tell me he was back until 3 days later and then things resumed as normal. He explained that it had been tense in LA with lots of drama and he checked out from everybody. Apologies aside, I let it slide. He moved out of his apartment and moved to the country and then things started getting weird. Lately he has been all over the place sending me mixed signals.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

He will make plans and then cancel because he doesn’t feel like coming in. He gets “wrapped up in work” and then announces that he is running around the city. I was not happy with the way that he was treating me, despite the fact that I know he isn’t my boyfriend and owes me nothing, I just didn’t feel like it was ok behavior. Especially to someone you have been friends with for 7 years prior. Now I just don’t know what to do. I tipsy texted him to not hit me up unless he was texting saying I’m on my way into the city what are you doing? He sent a series of apologies and then went silent. Now he is tip toeing in and out of talking to me by sending a picture every once and a while or a quick text. But no attempt to actually spend time together. Its not like I’m so angry that I need time, all he has to do is ask me to hangout and I’m happy to. I’m not mad, its just so confusing, why apologize when you can just fix it? Last night he did come into the city, and texted me saying something about my Halloween costume. He didn’t mention he was in the city but posted pictures on the internet around in the city with friends. I feel so shitty like he has now actually made me mad and hurt me instead of being flakey and annoying like before. I don’t even know what to do now. Advice?

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

You said it yourself, "He isn’t my boyfriend and owes me nothing". You cannot force a friend to hang out with you if he doesn't feeling like "coming in" into the city. Not sure how far, and if he needs to drive/fly in. From what you said, it seems like it was friendly and nothing romantic happened. Maybe the fact that you gave him attention was flattering, so he hung out with you continuously while he was having problems with his r/s. You obviously like him, but he doesn't seem to feel the same if he's sending you mixed signals and being flaky. It's a very sure sign he's not emotionally available (to you). I would cut my losses if I was you -- stop contacting him and start seeing other people. But first, go and download a list of girl power/break up songs, put on your cute halloween costume and party on with your girls.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

You're not gonna get what you want from this guy. He doesn't even sound like a good friend. Forget about him and find someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated.

khloebaby

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I've been seeing this guy for about 6 months now, and by seeing I mean having amazing sex. But that is not all we do. When we first met we did the typical dating activities ( dinner, movies, drinks etc.) for a month or so before having sex. But once we did that is all we did and it is great. However, there are a lot of gray areas with our FWB "relationship". I'm fine with the FWB status but confused with the other areas. For starters, while he will text me " do you want to come over" or "when are you coming over" that is not the only time we text or talk. We will have full conversations via text and phone, sometimes it's a simple "how are you" or "what are u up to". When we are on the phone the conversation can literally last for hours. The contact between us is usually intiated by the both of us but more so him. Another gray area is our hookups, sometimes it's his house sometimes it's mine, but for the most part it's his. I have never been over to his house and just had sex. Typically, he will cook, we'll have drinks, watch tv and it will turn into multiple rounds of sex. Instead of leaving he wants me to stay, I'm not saying I don't want to but its to the point where he doesn't ask me to stay anymore it's expected that I stay and we cuddle all night. The morning involves more gray matter. His work and school schedule is extremely different then mine so during the week when I have to go to work he will tell me to bring my clothes and get dressed in the morning from his house. Which I do at times. If he is off and it's a weekend we will sleep in all morning. When we get up he will cook me breakfast or I will cook for him. BTW he loves to cook. If it is a weekend and we both are off he will ask me to stay the entire weekend with him. I live less then 10 min away from him. I will sometime stay all weekend and we will hang out, go shopping, to the gym, movies, get drinks etc.. We also do things for each other for example he has taken me to the airport, fixed items around my house, and I have walked his dog while he is at work or picked up something from his house if he forgot it and can't leave his work. The gray area is truly evident as there are times that we hang out and don't have sex. He'll call me over for dinner or just to chill with him, we will lay in the bed cuddle and not have sex which is super hard to do. Last gray area are the things we talk about, we know so much about each others lives and he has opened up to me so much and visa versa. I help him study for school, he's a grad student and we talk about everything and anything.
Here is where reality sets in. I know he is sleeping with another girl and the reason I know this is because he has told me. Another reason I know this is because 3 is a crowd if u know what I mean. Another dose of reality is that when he is off during the week I will see him frequently, however there are times when he is off that I don't see him, I don't hear from him, and I know he is with her or maybe someone else. Lastly, reality will snap me back after I realize that although we discuss everything we don't discuss us and what we don't talk about if we want more or where our relationship is going. I don't bring it up and I have never brought it up. He doesn't bring it up and he never has. So we just go about seeing each other living within the reality of gray.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

My question is, what is it? What does it all mean? I know I should be asking him this but I just want to understand what we are doing. I like him and I'm sure he likes me but are we just FWB or is ther more underneath ?

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annastasia0207

Oh ouch, this is a toughie. I think you need to ask yourself first what is it that you want? Then once you have that figured out, you need to ask him what he wants. It sounds like he has feelings for you...but not enough to want to discontinue being able to sleep with other girls. Which for me personally would feel like a slap in the face and I would not be okay with it. But if you're cool with being FWB and just need to know that you're both on the same page of defining it as such, ask him about it and let him know that you're cool with what you have now, you just need to know where it's going. If you want more, I think it would be wise to let him know, even though it's a little scary. But just know that if his answer isn't the one you're looking for, you need to decide whether or not it's worth it to get your feelings all screwed up over for this guy.

justme_7

I think you're kind of giving him a free pass to enjoy all the normal stability of a girlfriend, without the commitment. And isn't that every guy's dream? Have the girl who cooks him dinner and is there when he calls, but he can still go bang other chicks no string attached?
Anyways, you have to start by figuring out what you want out of this, not him. Are you okay with the way it is? Do you feel safe knowing he IS sleeping with another girl? Will you be okay if he meets someone who truly does get him to commit and he vanishes for good? Ask yourself these questions. You sound like a great girl, and he knows it. Do some self reflection and figure out what you want out of this connection and then ask him--you're already sleeping with him--how hard can t be to ask him where you two are at and where you want to go?

jhops TOP COMMENTER

It's a FWB arrangement. You're not exclusive, and he even told you straight up he is sleeping with another girl. Despite you staying over and doing all the "couple" things, it doesn't matter. Guys like the feeling of intimacy as well, it's not just wham, bang, thank you, ma'am and go. You seem to like him if you've bothered to write all that about your r/s with him. Can you settle knowing you are just a FWB? If you want more, this guy is not it. Move on. Also, since he is sleeping with other people, you might want to go for regular screening just to be safe. STDs can still be transmitted via unsafe oral sex and even, safe sex. Don't take your health for granted.

khloebaby

I see so much clearer now. Thank you all for providing realistic and honest opinions.

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

His behavior clearly indicates that he does not want a relationship with you. If that's what you're after, I'd end things with him immediately.

jazzfishy

Sounds like yall are FRIENDS, with benefits. Thus, the FWB.

honeypiesugar TOP COMMENTER

I don't understand why you don't go for a real committed relationship? It's a waste of time really :/

victoriamaddisonellis

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has a really bad coke addiction hes so low and depressed he usto be all romantic with me txt me and call me alot he works away monday to Friday so I only see him on weekends he gives me his keys to the flat but last weekend he has deep off with me he didn't see me last weekend and only txt me a couple of times through the week I suffer from depression and it doesn't help with i keep getting thoughts that he cheating on me or going off me or he gonna end the relationship I asked him do you want me to walk away he says I never want that he says to me on txt that he doesn't ever want to loose me .But he's messed up in his head with things he txt me saying he loves me but sometimes al txt him and he doesn't reply I go on fb he's on line I go on my whatsapp he's on i dnt understand he wants me to go his dad Sunday for roast dinner but I think av messed it up i have stuff at his flat and I told him to bag my stuff I think he's took it the wrong way he txt ed me saying ok never heard off him since av asked to see him this Saturday nyt but I think he might go cold on me we never argue I support him in everythink I look after him I need help I dnt know what to think

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I think am losing him

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

Girl, I couldn't understand most of your post. Try using punctuation next time? If I got the gist of it right, I don't think both of you are in a good state of mind to be in a r/s right now. He needs to sort out his depression and drug addiction issues. You need to work on your self esteem and depression too. Focus on yourself now, seek help and get sorted out. Love will come when you learn how to love yourself first. You are all that you have at the end of the day. Good luck and stay strong.

jolie_3

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So theres this guy I like who is 18 and im 15. Hes my best friends brother and he knows that i like him. Sometimes I talk to him on facebook but not often and when we talk its always me who starts the conversation.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Next saturday we have a halloween party and im going over to his house to prepare the makeup with his sister. Probably he is going to be there and i want to make a good impression and dont want things to get awkward. What shall i do and not do? thanks X

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annastasia0207

Don't flirt with him. Do hang out with your friend and don't worry about this guy. You haven't given much info here, but he doesn't seem to be interested in you, sorry to say :( He knows you like him, he probably only responds to your facebook messages to be polite, and lastly, he's 18 and you're 15. While it doesn't seem like much of an age gap, most guys at 18 aren't looking at 15 year olds as potential anything, much less the 15 year olds that are friends with their little sister. Have fun with your friends at the party and just be yourself and don't worry about him :)

jolie_3

Thanks this helped alot :)

cherry_3

HERE'S THE DEAL...

i am facing a confusing situation. here is the story...
i met a guy from a social media. he is 7 years older than me. we have been chatting for around 3 to 4 weeks when suddenly the duration of the chatting was decreasing. i don't considered it as a big deal since i didn't have any feeling or expect anything from him. Actually, he was kind of fun to be talked to and i feel quite comfortable. however, he is such a busy man, that he opens a store and should handle it all the time. it makes him won't be able to text constantly. we usually text at the night. and there was a time when the text is stopped, but i don't really care. so, the relationship was going on and off like that for around 5 months without meeting each other in the real life.
just a week ago, he suddenly text me and ask to meet. i think it's okay since we are friends. so we met and talking with him is a real fun.

then, just 1 month ago, i met another guy. he is older than me only 2 years old. he looks quite mature but i think he is still not 100% free from his parents (i mean he still get very close to his parents and sometimes still have to consider his parents' opinion before deciding something). talking with him is nice that he can deal with my childish attitude and he is such an understanding person. he also prioritizes me in most situation, like he lets me choose where to eat, what to watch and where to go.

when comparing these two guys, i feel more comfortable with the first one in talking. since both of us are quite cheerful and sometimes can be childish. while, with the second one, he is more calm although sometimes he also can tell jokes.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

which one should i choose?

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torirule TOP COMMENTER

who says you have to choose at this point?

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Torirule is right. Did either of them ask you to be his gf? From what you said, it sounds like things are just pretty friendly with the first guy. If not, just continue hanging out/dating (not sleeping with) and getting to know the both of them better.

cherry_3

Oops.. I forgot to mention

cherry_3

the second one has clearly confessed to me before, but i haven't gave any answer. While the first one, after the meeting, he keeps on texting me again and asking for the next meeting.

ixesh

What about me??

katyagal

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I used to like this guy for like 3 years, we would text everyday and talk even on holidays. (We didn't live on the same place but we had mutual friends)

So I just moved to where he lives and yesterday I went out with some of his friends.

When we were in the car his best friend and I were talking because were on the same major. Then he asked my name and when I told him the 3 of them turned around to see me and started saying "wow youre like famous here we heard so much about you!! Because of our friend"

So as we kept talking the teasing continued, one of the guys even called him and told him he was with me. I talked on the phone with him and he was extremely nice, we sent him voice notes and pictures and everything. One of his best friends told me "he likes you too just tell him" but like laughing I know he was kidding but he had an awesome night and they were always trying to make me laugh.

They even invited me to party with them, even tho theyre sort of private and popular around here. They were really nice and even though it was me and my friend with them the 3 of them kept trying to make me laugh.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

So do you think it was a good thing that we got along so well? Or where they just playing me to mess with him?

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vaivai

Sounds like they are a nice bunch, but guessing from your text is hard. It also could be both, cause thats how friends are they mess with him but still could be truely friendly to you.

justme_7

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I've known this guy literally since I was born and we're 23 and 24 now. I'd moved away, so we hadn't hung out much, then I moved back to the area and the last time we hung out was Labor Day. I have no idea if he was interested or not. I hadn't heard from him since (aside from him occasionally liking my posts on FB), so I figured he was shunning me or something. He's a civil engineer, and terrible at communication (even according to his own MOM).

I texted him earlier this week, and asked how he was, and he invited me to his halloween party (see terrible looking collage).

Those are his responses.
Would a guy invite his old friend to a Halloween party (almost an hour drive from where I live), if he wasn't interested?

And the comment about the small house..I know there's 3 guys and they split a 2 bedroom apartment. He even shares a room.
Was his comment a backhanded way of hoping I don't stay?

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he interested or not?

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frankiedp

Well he told you you are welcome to stay for the night and he suggested you to bring a blanket so I don't see why he shouldn't mean it. He may be interested: just don't expect a private place to eventually make out.

candystraws

interested meaning he wants to hook up with you? then yes

g_love12 TOP COMMENTER

But she wouldn't need her own blanket if she was sleeping in his bed...

jhops TOP COMMENTER

It just seems like he invited you because you asked what he was up to. Not related, but you should also look up the meaning of "literally". It doesn't mean "seriously". Like saying "I literally pissed my pants" means you straight up, pissed your pants. There's no way to know someone since you were born because a baby can't recognise people till much later.

inspired12

I think he may be but the blanket comment sounds like a friend. Or there is an off chance that was his way of not being too forward and making you feel like he isn't trying to fuck you lol Id def go!! I always see things like that as opportunities to meet ppl and have fun! Whether or not you two get together maybe his friends will be options :)

mrsbillygil

Seems friendly. He may have mentioned the blanket part to make you more comfortable that he wasnt implying he was going to put the moves on you.

collegegirl22

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I have a TON of history with this guy. About 4 1/2 years of it. He was one of my bestfriends throughout this time but he always had feelings for me when they weren't reciprocated his way. We've talke NUMEROUS times about our feelings for each other, and I've made it very clear I don't feel the same.
I went to a party he was at about a week and a half ago, and ended up making out with this guy there. I always knew he was a hot head but never thought I would have to worry about this.. When he saw this, he got reallyyyyyy angry and at the time we were both trying to get through the crowd in opposite directions in the hall. When we got close to each other trying to pass, instead of slipping by each other, he grabbed my arm aggressively and shoved me out of the way. And it actually hurt. I was shocked. He was always the one to protect me from things like that, not actually inflict them himself. I immediately was pissed. I turned around and said "EXCUSE ME?!" and he just kept walking, ignoring me. Since then he hasn't contacted me, I most definitely have not contacted him. Granted, he was drunk, but I personally don't think "being drunk" is a legitimate excuse for anything, especially hurting a girl. I don't want to at all let him think its okay to physically manhandle me, let alone any other girl. He should never touch a girl the way he did to me.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I am so angry and hurt that he could ever do this to me. I wanted to see him and just lay it out for him that what he did that night was not okay whatsoever and I lost all my respect for him that night. But i don't normally just run into him around campus, so it would have to be me texting him and saying it (remember its been over a week already) or telling him we needed to talk about it. What should I do? He was my bestfriend for a lot of years and now I just know I can't keep that relationship/friendship going and it makes me sad to realize that. Any thoughts on my reaching out to him and what I should say? Or if I should even reach out?

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torirule TOP COMMENTER

sadly this friendship will never really work because one person has strong romantic feelings which are not reciprocated. he expressed his own hurt at seeing you with the other guy by physically hurting you. don't reach out to him and try to sort it out. he was physically ABUSIVE and he knows it, the fact that he hasn't even texted you to apologise is another bad sign.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

People come and go in your life. You have to accept that you had good times, and this guy isn't a nice guy if he physically took it out on you when he got jealous, and didn't even apologise for his deed. As for telling him off, do you have a thing for drama in your life? It's over, and you don't even know if he is going to harm you further if you confront him. Stay away.

mrsbillygil

Sorry to say this but he wasn't really your best friend, he just wanted to date you so he stuck close to you hoping someday it would happen... Just take this opportunity to never have to talk to him again. Friendship over.

msmojazz38

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I've been seeing this guy for three months now, and the only place he likes to frequent is his favorite bar. I don't drink, I've told him that we should go other places, but he doesn't seem to be up for it. I work at night and he works during the day, therefore the only time we have for each other is on the weekends. Im afraid he has a drinking problem, I asked and he said no....im thinking about running as far away from him as I can.

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desdemona

go. and don't look back.

mslovemybae

run away and never see him again

torirule TOP COMMENTER

people don't admit to having a drinking problem usually but it's pretty obvious.

2009 TOP COMMENTER

Does he actually drink a lot and often or does he just enjoy from time to time? Given that you don't drink though, and he's not bothered to take you anywhere else (places that he knows YOU like), then yeah you're probably best not to continue dating him.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Regardless on whether it's true he has a drinking problem, I don't think this is a match anyway. He likes to drink, you don't. He doesn't make an effort to take you out anywhere, even though you told him to. He probably doesn't like you all that much, so stop seeing him.

msmojazz38

I want to thank all of you for your comments, and yes, I decided not to see him anymore. To respond to the panel, he drinks on the weekends, and when he drinks, he gets wasted to the point that he's vulgar and crude. To jhops, he pursued me for months so I don't think it has anything to do with him not liking me. I think this is all he knows and he's comfortable with living in a fishbowl.

mrsbillygil

Whether or not he has a drinking problem, his drinking bugs you and you guys aren't having fun times together. Its prob time to end this. You can't really change him and he may be perfectly happy the way he is.

orgirl_2

I agree with jhops. Whether he has a drinking problem or not is not your battle to fight, but it's clear that he is not respectful of your wishes. There are so many others who would be happy to enjoy all of the other fun activities life has to offer that don't involve alcohol :)

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