karmakandara

HERE'S THE DEAL...

After something of a hiatus, I'm dating again. We met on an online dating site. He rated my profile and listed in People Who Like Me. Then, the story begins.
We talked for about a week until finally he asked me out and met in real life. First date wasn't really bad. We had lunch, watched a movie and in the end of it he hugged me and kissed my cheeks. The things I like during this first date were, He didn't mind to share his fork while he eat his dessert (I didn't order a dessert and he wanted me to taste it), he didn't mind to drink from my glass (because we ordered different drink and he wanted to try mine), He let me choose the movie and yes the hug and kiss. The second date arranged two weeks after. The agenda was city tour. It was a great date as well as the first one (even sweeter, haha). Both of date was ended by hug and kiss on my cheek, followed by text that say "Thank you for wonderful time". Maybe those things are dull, but i found it really sweet. After the second date, I told him that I couldn't go out much since I have some paperwork to be done and facing final exam. We didn't talk/text for about 3 weeks since then. One day, he texted me to ask how I was doing and how was the final exam going. We arrange our third date, and this time would be a 2D1N vacation to an island. He also told me that He wanted to talk sometime on the phone or skype after I finish with all my college stuff. Until I write this, I haven't got any call or text from him. I've text him to tell that I am finished with all college stuff and We can talk on the phone or skype sometime, he just respond with "sounds great" and no sign of him until today.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he forget to call? or wait for me to call him first? Is he really into me or just being nice? should I make the move?

Thank you! :)

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girlinneedofadvice

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I met this guy through mutual friends and we recently started sending each other whatsapp messages (he asked for my number). He sent me a couple of messages like;
Do you have exciting plans for tonight?
What have you been up to yesterday?(when I said I was tired of the night before)
and saying he was bored and wanted some distraction..

From the times I met him in person he seemed to like me and he flirted with me quite a lot.. He is an outgoing guy and from what I can tell quite confident..
I have the feeling that he might be a little afraid I will reject him because guys tend to perceive me as quite hard to approach (I think because I am not too ugly and can be quite shy, which people sometimes perceive as arrogance)

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he hinting for a date? Should I hint back at him that I am open for a date with him?

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reallynow43

Sounds like he could be interested. Let him know when you're free next time he asks and let him take it from there. Or you could ask him if he wants to hang out

stylishgal

HERE'S THE DEAL...

i hooked up with a close friend who i've liked for the last 2 years. we hooked up a couple of times and decided to be exclusive friends with benefits. its been 2 weeks now he hasnt seen me and when i asked to meet last week he said he'd let me know and hasnt texted me since! he's leaving the city this weekend for 6 months for a job

NOW I'M WONDERING...

what is wrong with him why is he behaving this way? should i text him? i want to hook up with him before he leaves

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

He's a FWB, not your bf. He does not owe you any explanation. Don't text him. He got your message, he has your number. He knows how to reach you.

ever42

You agreed to be FWB but demand more ...

andreaashley182

Nothing's wrong with him. This is what you signed up for when you agreed to FWB. Maybe you should think through if that is really the right kind of relationship for you bc he is acting correctly for a fwb relationships and the fact that you even wrote this shows that you are more invested than he is.

sageandonion

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Player or just denying his feelings!?? Head fuck

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is he playing me or has feelings but don't want to admit it been seeing this guy for 2 years on and off its awkward as kids are involved we both have kids I also came out of 15 year relationship last year so it was kinda messy. We meet up and have sex he requarly asks how Iam doing and if Iam seeing anybody? I tried to get him to open up last year and he just said he wasn't ready to be involved with anybody .
However I got a call 2 days ago to ask to meet him for a chat he said that he has been holding off with me as was allways worried I will go back to my ex he said he has emotions and should remember that? He questioned me on having other fuck buddy's and said he dont like it but then tried to sleep with me I said I couldn't as it messes with my head and he knows I have feelings for him he said he likes me and don't want me to get hurt? But then when chatting about all the abuse I got off my ex he wants to smash his face in!!? I sent him a text saying my feelings and I just can't get him to open up!? He says he wants to see me again and after I left said I looked amazing and was nice to see me I have Facebook requested him but he said he was upset as I deleted him last time when I got back with my ex? And I had to promise him I won't delete him again.
This whole saga is one big mind fuck If he didn't have feelings why get the hump over my ex ? I can't keep trying to
Get him to open up I know he's a bit of a closed book and was hurt bad in the past but surely after 2 years if he wanted to be with me he would of made the effort by now?
I need to decide weather to hold on and let him sort his head out or move on!

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emilyrose TOP COMMENTER

It sounds as though you are both being quite defensive. I can understand him feeling wary if you previously left him and went back to your ex. Also it sounds like there was some crossover with your last relationship? I wouldn't try and have those sort of conversations by text. You have both been hurt in the past and you both have responsibilities now so you need to take time, make sure you are both healed from your previous relationships and ready to start something new. I think you may be rushing into this thing. You need to spend time together not just having sex and building trust and finding out if it's going to work. That just takes time. There's nothing to suggest he is playing you although he may well be wary of getting involved.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

You two sound like you're both carrying a lot of baggage from previous relationships. Take it slow and get your heads on straight before barreling into anything.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

I don't think you should be calling him a player if you were creating all those drama. Not sure if I got it right...but you were seeing him when you were still with your ex and had other casual r/s with other people? If I was him, I wouldn't think you were after a serious r/s either. Work on yourself first, don't rush into a r/s until you are ready to cope. You don't need a lad in your life all the time. You have children, they should be your priority.

iamkhiim

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Hi! thanks for reading my question!

There is this guy, he's my new friend. his cousins are also my friends. one time I went to their condo unit to get something from them. His cousin opened up the door. She told me that everyday I'm getting prettier ( like a greeting) then she left to get the things. Then girl instinct, I felt like someone is looking at me, then I noticed the small circle mirror type where you can look if someone is knocking on your door.. I can sense someone is looking at me.. then since the door is open I noticed a reflection of a guy through refrigerator.. the I realized that it was him, he didn't talk to me at all and I think it's awkward.

Then the days passed, he became more comfortable with me, whenever we see each other he's like teasing me or making fun of me. Then one time, he changed, everytime we see each other, his mood brightens up, even though he's tired, he's like with full energy.. I noticed his eyes is light brown so I asked him thru text if he has a contacts, I didn't believe him that he doesn't have contacts, he told me to come over to his unit and look at his eyes.. he told me also that I maybe I will fall for his eye's charm.. Then the after two days, I told him that my brother will come over, then he said "are you not coming with him?" I told him Nope. but I went there with my brother to surprise him.. he's so funny that time coz he makes his eyes bigger for me to observe his eyes.. he also smiles all the time.. also in text he always put "hahaha" on his replies

NOW I'M WONDERING...

But here's my question.. he will reply to my text but then suddenly stop replying. I don't know what happened but he stop replying.. then the next day, I gave him 1 day to text me but no reply was received, I tried to text him goodnight quotes, then tom mor. no text received. what happened?

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emilyrose TOP COMMENTER

I think you may be reading too much into his interest. Just take a step back and see what happens

iamkhiim

I guess you're right.. I don't want to make mistakes again, coz there's this guy from the past, some of my friends told me that he has a thing for me but I ignore him which is kinda stupid coz I had a feelings for him too... :(

myhouseshoes

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

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jhops TOP COMMENTER

STOP SPAMMING

tambrosia

HERE'S THE DEAL...

SO, I met this guy through work & we became friends nearly instantly. It was obvious we both liked each, mainly because I told him, "Hey, I like you, is this thing mutual?" & he responded with an understandably bashful "Yes." HOWEVER, following that red cheeked confession came the biggest "but" of all..."I'm kinda already seeing someone." So naturally I did what needed to be done & quickly tired to redeem myself with a "Oh, no worries, nbd, she's great right? Okay, nice talk, BYE." Afterwards though, nothing about our semi flirtatious friendship really changed, even after he transitioned from "seeing someone" to "dating someone" to the ultimate feeling crusher of "living with someone." Once it reached that level of commitment, I really did my best to step back & be respectful, but he kind of always kept that flirtation going, & lets face it, I'm only human, I let it happen here & there . Sidebar about him: he's the classic no commitment/good looking/charming & I know it kind of guy. Sidebar about me: I'm the not so classic 26 yr old never been kissed/dated kind of girl. We're from different worlds & we know it, but we understand each other. We were basically hanging out with other friends together all the time during his relationship, & then out of the blue he left his girlfriend, moved out of the apartment, & the first thing he did was come see me. With all his things packed into his car. We never really talked about anything happening between us right after, & I was sure to give him his space (it was hard on him to hurt this girls feelings obviously.) But it did take him awhile to come around again after his breakup. We texted all the time, but weren't hanging out as often as we used to. I thought maybe he was afraid (he knows my background, er, lack thereof.) Turns out, I found out through old mutual co-workers that he just "doesn't want to hurt my feelings" & he can't "be that prince charming she probably hopes for." Then, to make matters of our hearts worse; he moved a several hours away for grad school, & that just perversely complicated everything. We still talk all the time, though sometimes he's short winded, in which case I give him the space to kind of decide if he wants to come back to our friendship again or not...

NOW I'M WONDERING...

SO, the question is: does he not want to hurt my feelings by admitting that maybe he doesn't have "those" feeling for me? Or because I'm seen as some green little girl with no "experience" & I wont understand/be accepting of his past ways? Did the distance thing totally destroy any chance we might have had?

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lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

Not wanting to hurt you is an excuse. He could choose not to hurt you, but then he'd have to be someone else. He's not who you are looking for, and he knows it.

jhops TOP COMMENTER

Agree with @lilliekins, it's just BS talk so that in your head, they'll always be the super sweet, sensitive guy who got away because he cared too much. Don't fall for that.

emilyrose TOP COMMENTER

I'm sorry to tell you but this is not going anywhere. You have never been more than a flirtation/ego boost for him. His comment makes it clear that he is aware how much you have romanticised this whole thing and he is not able to fulfil your expectations. I think you need to accept that nothing is ever going to happen with him. Don't waste anymore time. I'd guess he is in some way a safe distraction for you. I don't know what is stopping you from having a real relationship but the first step is to put this guy out of your mind.

flower450

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar. We really hit it off and began dating and hooking up regularly. Then last weekend I invited him to a concert and he showed up late very drunk. He was not apologetic and didn't seem to really care that he kept my friends and I waiting. The next morning he snapped at me after I asked him a question about sex. Then when I decided I should just go home, he barely said goodbye to me and didn't try to get me to stay.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

How did it all of a sudden go from great chemistry to him acting like a jerk?

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lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

Hookups fizzle, it's just how they go.

chloeoeoe

He's a guy and guts like him get bored and I'm not trying to be rude or anything but he prolly got bored and just u know did what a guy would do not talk to u anymore bc he was just look for someone good for a few day or something

adriana15342

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Alright... So LONG story short. I met this guy last summer at a coffee shop. First time I met him I was with a guy friend and didn't really try to do anything. Few months later I ran into him again at the coffee shop and I pursued him... He was super cute and I felt ballsy and asked for his number at the end bc we were having fun teasing and talking. He wrote his number down and gave a witty remark and we bid farewell... the next day we texted and he teased me about how he waited too long. We said we'd get coffee.. but we both had a busy schedule and he was out of town. I agreed to coffee and throughout that week he sent me a photo or two of his trip. I didn't end up seeing him for a few months because I had so much going on and a lot of stress and it was taking a toll on my skin -_- I remember him saying how i was such an elusive lady because we haven't run into eachother yet etc etc

One night I decided to hit the coffee shop and low nad behold he was sitting there working as usual.. I walked up from behind and surprised him. He was all smiles and gave me a hug which took me by surprise... we talekd for 40 min.. just standing there.

He never broke eye contact and it was laughing at every ridiculous thing I was saying. We joked a bit and then decided it was time we both went back to work. He said he'd come to my table once he finished. After an hour or so i looked up and he was sitting across me..
He asked me to go out for drinks sometime and I agreed. I didn't get up to hug him..because it just felt more comfortable for me sitting there and having him leave.
and hour after he left he sent me a text saying how serious he was about seeing me and getting a drink atleast.

I agreed.

But he was leaving for a trip overseas for 3 months. Our timings kept clashing and we didn't end up meeting. He kept making plans but not sticking to them because he was in and out of town etc. The last day he was in town he said he had to see me atleast once before leaving the country... we planned to meet that morning and I ended up finishing my meeting early because I knew he was leaving early but then he texted me how he didn't think he could meet because he was still packing..and that he could meet past 1 pm I said okay and that I could still meet.. he didn't respond until 30 min later with a sad face stating how he's already on the high way.

I was annoyed to say the least.

New years came and we exchanged soem deep texts in regards to his life etc.. it was refreshing to have aguy be open like that. Btw he constantly refers to me as beautiful human being etc etc
He also kept commenting on my photos on facebook which btw when I added him he teased me saying "it's about time we made it fb offish!!"
Anyhow, he constantly complimented my photos and would send me texts saying I need to stop haha It was really nice getting compliments like that from a guy I was for the first time attracted to.

He texted me a a week or two before leaving the country asking me if I'd go with him on a shady restaurant date and drinks if i'm not married with kids by the time he comes nback...

I felt annoyed still bc of his track record of being a flake and jokingly said that the chances of me being octamom and married is highly likely but i guess we'll just have to see when he comes back ;)

I think I hurt his ego? oh well.

Anyhow, throughout his trip he'd make comments on my photos like on valentinesday I posted a funny photo about death and being single are enivetiblbe for me (it rwas a fun quiz) and he posted a comment stating how he's chasing me..

Anyhow this cat and mouse thing went on ...
he's made jokes about how's in love with me etc or "if I wasn't inlove already I def am now" on a art work I had done..

When he finally made it to the states I decided to send him a message via social media saying how the coffee shop missed him.. he laughed and cracked a joke and said we needed to have a playdate.. I agreed and that the was the end of that convo..

after that I made the effort of texting him a photo that was something of his (he's an artist and I saw his work at a random coffee shop so i took a photo and sent it to him) he responded with surprise and glee and sent me a video of himself being silly.

Ever since then he's been very on and off.. it's liek a cat and mouse chase...whenver I put in effort he doesn't seem to really put in the same amount when I don't care he comments things like "Dibs" on my photos etc I don't respond.. but finally I posted on a photo of his saying "dibs" and he responded with "done" later one that week he texted me saying "lets elope" after we exchanged some funny snapchats to one another. I responded with a witty remark and that was that.. his response wasn't anything to really say much else to after that.. Earlier in july he sent me a text basically asking me in advance if I would "get coffee, or drinks or kiss in the rain" when he's in town for the day... it was a semi long text and it was cute not gonna lie the kiss int he rain took me by complete surprise O.o I responded with a casanova joke and agreed. Ever since then it has been a cat and mouse chase (it's been feeling like that from the beginnign though)

Saturday I saw a photo in regards to how crazy things are happening with family and friends and how a prayer can go far so I felt all nice and careless and sent him a text with a fun intro then ending it with a hey i saw your post and you have my prayers--hope things are okay.
He hasn't responded since -_-

My guyfriend thinks he's just intimidated by me so he's playing hard to gget.. i'm frankly annoyed. Another friend thinks I haven't shown him romantic interest.. I mean granted I don't comment how in love I am etc or how attractive he is.. but I still make enough effort and have agreed to hangouts to where he should KNOW i'm interested.

He's going to colorado in three weeks..for a bit for some free-lance stuff.. so I can't play the hard to get i'm not going on this date with you etc I WANT to see him and see how it goes.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

SO what's HIS deal!? I've never dealt with this type of thing... because well.. i've never been interested in a guy. I don't date...unless i'm actually interested in someone and that rarely happens. I've had my share of guys asking me out but i've turned down 99% of them. SO THIS guy..that i finally find interesting and intelligent/creative.. is quite rare and I want to get to know him more...but i don't know what to do because everytime I try i feel like I don't get an appropriate reaction so I just assume he's not interested anymore... but then he comes after me with these RANDOM ass comments that are clear indications of interest. IM SO CONFUSED

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tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

Whatever you have with this guy is verbal. Everything is just talk, and talk, and talk. You

tee_2 TOP COMMENTER

You're wasting your time.

giggleskdd

I don't understand what there is to be confused about. His actions are very clear. He isn't making the effort therefore he isn't that interested. I think he likes the chase. So you should probably stop chasing him and giving him attention. It seems to be mostly you making advances. Stop doing that and the problem is solved. If you want to be friends fine, but I don't think he has any romantic interest.

adriana15342

Hmmmm... you guys are right. I'm over it. What should I do if he does ask again about meeting end of this month? Should I say yes? or no?

adriana15342

I guess it's hard to explain everything on here... because there's more to this and If I could show you guys everything it would make more sense. When I sense someone is not interested I back off.. but He's given me so many mixed signals recently that I don't know. Thank you guys for all the answers!! :)

annastasia0207

If he texts you back, personally I would straight up just be like, you're a really nice guy and I wish something would happen between us, but considering we haven't been on an actual date in the (insert amount of time here) we've been talking, it doesn't seem like it's in the cards for us. Or something along those lines. Also, make it clear that it's his fault because you've put in the effort to meet up and he hasn't. Sorry that this has happened to you though, I know how irritating this can be but you're still young. Someone cool that actual takes you out and you are attracted to will come along :)

adriana15342

@Annastasia0207 thank you for being so empathetic about this? I seriously appreciate the genuine effort you put into that advice. I will def take your advice on this and go with that. It's beyond irritating.. to have someone mess with your head like this. Thank you so much :)

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

This is an excellent example of pay attention to what he does, not what he says. He loves the attention, though!

emilyrose TOP COMMENTER

Agreed with all above. Absolute waste of time!

rockykim

NOW I'M WONDERING...

How old are you?

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adriana15342

21

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

52

kathyn007

NOW I'M WONDERING...

So I met this guys two weeks ago, he approached me out and we talked... We clicked right away. At the end of the night he asked for my number... Texted me the day after. We ended up planning a date. We went on a date and ended up sleeping together that night... It was not planned from my part, but we had crazy chemistry and after we hooked up he told me feels like I've known you for 10 years. I stayed over his place he was cuddly and super affectionate. Two days after our hook up he texted me. I told him I had so much fun and he answered that he did, we planned to hang out again. Do you think he is into me or is only in for the sex??

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annastasia0207

I think it's too soon right now to tell. If you guys do end up hanging out again, try not to give in and have sex and see how he takes it. If he keeps trying to get into your pants all night or if you don't have sex and he fades after that date, then it's safe to say he's only it for the sex.

shetexted_3

I agree with annastasia!

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

Only time will tell. Asking you out again is a good sign.

chloeoeoe

What u should do is not have sex with him and then if he startes to get distant or anything like that then he's in for the sexy

angel_3

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So, at the beginning of the year I started my first year of varsity, and the career that ive chosen is predominantly female. I met one of the few guys at the school and he immediately found me on Facebook and we started chatting. I am the only person that he speaks to outside of school amoungst my friends. He is constantly being rude and constantly teases me about EVERYTHING! I thought that the teasing would get old, but its been six months and nothing has changed. He is very comfortable making sexual references around me which I find at times distasteful. He also tends to randomly send shirtless pictures of himself to me ...

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I find this contradictory and I'd like some insight into what is possibly going on please.

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rxbfan04

some guys never grow out of the "throwing rocks at girls they like" phase. he most likely thinks he's being funny and it's his stupid way of trying to get your attention. if you're not into it then you should tell him so.

gosoxs12

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I went to visit my long distance BF in Cali this past week. I leave tomorrow night to head back home. We both start med school in the fall and will be on opposite sides of the country. We had "the talk" last night and have decided to keep in contact frequently and reevaluate the relationship in a few months. Possibly making it official again. We both love each other very very much.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Is this decision going to ruin our relationship? Will I lose him forever?

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ever42

I think it's very mature decision. It will not ruin your relationships unless you both deside to stop.

lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

It won't be easy, all you can do is try. Communication is key, this will be quite the test of your skills!

emilyrose TOP COMMENTER

What do you mean when you say you have decided to reevaluate in a few months and possibly make it official again? That sounds like you are in a break now? Was that a mutual decision and do you both agree what that means? Can you see other people? If not how is it 'unofficial?'. Just be careful you have the same expectations and have been clear about your intentions.

rebeldiamond

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Matched with this guy on tinder on Friday, he messaged asking if I wanted to meet for a drink on Saturday night, met up for a first date and had a really good time. We spent about 3 1/2hrs together just chatting, he walked me back to my car (we weren't drinking alcohol at all). I think he wanted to kiss me but I bottled it and kissed him on both cheeks.

I text when I got home to say thank you for a lovely evening an that I had a lovely time. He replied asking if I wanted to do it again? We arranged a 2nd date for Thursday this week, but I have not heard a peep from him since! I know it's only Monday... I've just never experienced this before

NOW I'M WONDERING...

What does everyone think? Is this going well?

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lili_riesling

You said it yourself, it's only Monday. Relax!

emilyrose TOP COMMENTER

Impossible to say - you've only been on one date. Many people on dating sites go on multiple dates before making a decision. There's nothing to say it's not going well but it's too early to tell. Don't get invested until you know him better

fifty1986

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Hello evervybody, i need your help pls,
Sms from a girl "I forgot to answer...
so I'll be honest. Yes I said that i didn't want to leave you my fb and you still tried and I didn't appreciate at all. Then i don't know what you expect of me. From my side i don't expect anything more than a friend to talk to and who is there when i need. And if i didn't answer right away is that i have a monster job and i am sick since Friday then i forgot. You're a very nice guy I've already said."

NOW I'M WONDERING...

What she mean? she wants something serious? I still talk to her ?

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lilliekins TOP COMMENTER

She is willing to be friends, but not fb friends, and not close friends. I would leave her alone.

ever42

Wants to be just friends ... Sorry

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