haleykate

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I've been talking to a guy for 3 months. It started out as sex but we recently admitted that we both have feelings for each other. Or so I thought.

He made plans with me for Friday night. Said he had a family dinner to go to and would text me when he was done. We made these plans on Wednesday. Didn't hear from him on Thursday, and the first time he contacts me Friday is at 10 to tell me he's still stuck at dinner, which I promptly ignored.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I was so disappointed. I just wish he'd let me know sooner? I felt sort of stood up. Should I just let it go and be accommodating, or should I get the hell out of there seeing as he clearly doesn't like me like he said he did?

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katelyn_nelson34

I was in this situation before. He's hot and cold also known as scared of commitment. He will never change unless you show him that he has to do more to keep u around.

haleykate

He's terrified of commitment. He got out of an 8 year relationship a year and a half ago and hasn't committed since. I want to be with him, but I'm not going to waste my time if he isn't going to do it right.

shannonnshannon

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Okay, I've had this crush for a while. We are church friends and he's my dream guy. I finally mustered up the courage to text him. I asked him 'hey what time is the Christmas Eve service?' And he messaged back '6:30-7:30' I said 'kk thanks' and he said 'Np Shan' but he only says SHAN once in a blue moon. Maybe only twice has he ever done it.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does it sound like he could be into me, should I try to keep the conversation going? Say nothing back? Or send a ☺?

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haleykate

You can't read into that kind of stuff, it'll only ever disappoint you. Get to know him better and then make a judgement call.

elizabethbennett

HERE'S THE DEAL...

About a month ago, I met a guy online. We chat every day plus he already called me several times. He is very handsome and can carry a normal conversation for hours. However, after one week of talking, he started to joke in a sexual way. Two weeks later, he mentioned that he was playing with himself. I told him I did not like that and he said that he will never mention that again. He said that he has a very high drive and hormones sometimes get over his thoughts. He never asked me for any revealing pictures, never was vulgar.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

But...Is it normal? Do guys always have to mention something sexual? Or talk about genitals? He does not sound as a player. He does not overly compliments me, does not call me sugary names as guys did before, still, I can't stop wonder, if his need talking about doing himself, is normal. He said that he feels very comfortable with me and finds talking about it as something casual. He is almost 31 years old. I am also surprised over his keeping in touch every day and calling. When I don't reply for a longer time, he writes more or sends sad faces. As much as I am attracted to him, or fantasy of him, I find some of his behavior strange. Why such a good looking guy has no girl? He said he does not get much chance where he lives and does not want to sleep around.
Anyway, is it normal when guy wants to tell you that he plays with himself while texting to you?

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haleykate

Super normal. Happens all the time.

northeastchick

Not normal unless you are sexually active with him already. He is looking for sex.

isabellahofmann

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Hi! A guy I met a week ago and have been talking to since slept together two nights ago. The next morning we spent time together for around an hour (he asked what my plans were for the day both that morning and the night before) and then I said I had to go so he hugged me and said he'll see me late. I haven't texted/called him and vice versa. He's a cool guy and even if he's not interested in that way, he'd still be a fun guy to have as a friend.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I'm not sure what I should do? Should I text him? if so what should I say? And guys, how would you react to a one night stand texting you?
Thanks!!

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ashyyyyyyyyyy

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So a couple of years ago I was texting the guy I like and he asked if I wanted to play a question game I said sure and he asked me a question and then answered then I asked him if he liked me he goes no sorry. But this year I'll post a picture on Instagram and he will like it sometimes and the picture is of me so I don't know if he's trying to be nice or not. There is this dance coming up and I want to go with him but I don't want him say no!?!

NOW I'M WONDERING...

So what do u guys think?

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aquaelephant

I'm sorry, but he's clearly given you his answer. He doesn't like you.

alwayswannanap

HERE'S THE DEAL...

This guy and I met on okc about a month ago. The first date was pretty low key. We talked at a bar for a while and went to a show together. We were both pretty tipsy by the time the show started and somehow we just started making out. Then on the way back, we made out again in his car. the chemistry was great - I don't think that I've ever had such great physical chemistry with someone right away. Anyways, sometime during the next week, he texted for another date. He ended up canceling it in the morning because he got sick. I didn't really care and sent him a text to see how he was doing a couple days later. He said he was much better and would like to see me. so we grabbed dinner and had a great conversation which surprisingly intellectual. I really appreciated his thoughts. Anyways, he drove me home and we made out again in the car with some touching. I texted him afterwards and thanked him for the ride and the good time. He texted me back right away and had since been in daily touch with me. I had a couple of finals during that week so I didn't have time to see him. He checked on me a few times and offered to bring me food the night before the exam. I really appreciated his sweet offer and told him that he should stop by to say hi since he was 10 min away from where I was. He came and we hung out a bit. a lot of kissing and making out, finally things got a little heated and he was about to turn off the light. I told him that I wasn't ready to sleep with him yet because I get emotionally attached easily with sex and I wasn't afraid of getting hurt. He was nice about it and said that he understands and I should always be honest with him. The night went on well and he kissed me goodbye a couple of times and told me to let him know if I wanted to hang out over the weekend. There was a party at my school on that weekend - so I texted him later and asked him if he wanted to come over. He sounded a little hesitant. Then I got a little worried because I realized that he could have mistakenly thought that I was asking him to hang out with people in my life. I just played along and canceled a few days later. We ended up going to a movie; he was just very affectionate as usual. lots of touching my hair, kissing my forehead and hand, and hand holding. Anyways, ever since that night, he started to cool down. I had a couple of exams after that weekend. he texted me on the Tuesday to check to see how things went and wished me good luck on the next few things that I had. I liked that he remembered what was going on in my life so I thanked him. I contacted him on Wed and told him that I was done with my test and I was happy. All I got was "woohoo". so I thought maybe he was busy with work. so I asked him how's work. he told me that he was having a very long day. I offered to visit him and bring him food/drink. He declined nicely and said that he just needed to go home and collapse. I just told him to not worry and get rested. That was 2 days ago; I still haven't heard anything from him, which pisses me off. He acted like he was into me for like the past two weeks; and this week I only got a couple of texts from him with minimal content. He's just been not responsive. I don't plan on contacting him unless he reaches out to me and show some genuine interest in seeing me.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

At this point I don't know what I should do. I could just let it go and forget about him. I could reach out to him one more time if I don't hear from him for a couple more days to give it a last try. or I can just confront him and ask him if he'd prefer us not to talk. This guy really seemed like a nice and genuinely guy. I liked the things that he's passionate about and his confidence - but I guess that doesn't him a considerate guy. Anyways, any input would be appreciated.

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northeastchick

Don't contact him it seems as though you have reached out and have shown him interest. Maybe things were moving quickly... Let him reach out to you if he is interested he will. It seems as though he did like you so he may reach out.

lexa

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I've been talking to this guy and yesterday he didn't text me back affter he texted me first and said good morning and i responded. and then today during school he texted me and now we are texting again.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Does this mean anything?

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bubz

This really isn't that much to go off of. You're talking to a guy. It could mean anything, it could mean nothing. Give things time.

blahhh

HERE'S THE DEAL...

SoI went on this date with a guy I met online, I'm 20, he's 25, a bit over a month ago. It goes great, we're there four hours, but the next day in response to my text he says it won't work out because I'm too young and in a different place in his life.

This weekend, however, I get a long text from him saying he's been thinking about our date and he was an idiot for letting me get away and it's probably too late, but he would love to take me out. I agree, saying I was taken aback the last time, but I'm willing to give it a try because I can see he's thought a lot about it.

Monday we have drinks, it goes great, he finally kisses me. He asks me to hang out on Tuesday with his friends at a trivia night at a bar or the next day at a work function. I say I feel its too early for a work function, but I'd be happy to meet his friends and hang out.

So tuesday we hang out, it's a bit weird because I don't know his friends and it's obviously a couples night. At the end, he says "You're welcome to stay over". I say I'd go to his apartment and decide if I want to stay over. We make out a bit, then I say I think I'll go home because I don't want to give him the wrong impression. He walks me to my subway stop, and kisses me a bunch and tells me he'll see me in January because he's away for the next two weeks seeing his family. I say you will, but only if I hear from you while you're away.

The next morning he texts me to see if I got home, and I say I did and wanted to clear up any misunderstanding that I wasn't feeling it, and that I liked how it was going so wanted to take it slow. He said he completely understood and it's good with him. We texted a bit more, and I said I wish we could've hung out more before he went and all he said was "Yeah me too! But I'm busy both nights :(" I said no worries.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

That was Wednesday night. I haven't heard from him. Should I expect to hear from him? Is he not interested? Why would he invite me to meet his friends? Should I wait till he comes back (he's in another country) to see, even though it's two weeks. I have other options in terms of dating, but like to be respectful and focus on one guy at a time.

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inspired12

Definitely keep talking to him you will see each other when he's back in sure of that!! Sounds like he's into you. Take you time with him and don't worry about what you said at the end I kinda met two guys at the same time and I wanna date both till I know which is better and healthier for me to get involved with it lowers your expectations and it's more about exploring what ha good for you while you're not sure yet about him either ! Dating is a discovery phase until you know you're exclusive or getting serious. If you don't want to don't but I am just putting my opinion out there ! I am kinda enjoying it now :) also... Lots of kisses doesn't hurt from two sexy men ;)

blahhh

Quick update: He texted me that he was going to my "home state" on the way to the airport. So maybe he's making an effort to keep in touch?

inspired12

Ya I think so!!

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

I understand your strategy of dating one guy at a time, but I used to be that way and it always ended badly for me. When we women do this we assume relationship status with a guy we have only had a couple of dates with. Has he asked you to be exclusive? Has he said he is shutting down his online site and that he will not talk to any other women? Probably not, so why should you ? Why do you feel this unspoken loyalty to a guy you just met? My suggestion is to yes, stay in touch with him, but don't close the door on other dating possibilities. Guys are not dum. If he feels like committing to a monogomous relationship he will make it very clear. I met my fiancée online, but I was dating other guys. And what I mean by dating is just going out , absolutely nothing sexual. I suggest you do nothing sexual with someone you are not in a committed relationship with. Anyways, my now fiancée lived 2 hours away and he first asked me if we could meet half way. I was dating other men that were willing to travel to my area so why would I go out of my way to meet him half way? I simply said it wouldn't work for me. He said he had to see me and drove down two hours to see me for a couple of hours. I had another date the same day we had our first date so I had to cut things short. But guess what? He drove down every weekend to see me and after our 3rd date he asked me to be exclusive and told me he closed down his dating site. I really liked him and so I did the same and I had another guy asking me to be his gf too. I really had to chose. But it was an awesome problem to have. I was not the one bringing up "the talk." The guys were the ones bringin up exclusivity. He always brags now about how he won me over. He has since moved to my state and we are getting married this October. I was hard to get because I was dating other people. I seemed different to him from the girls because I really didn't put up with bad behavior since I had other options. If I had only been dating him I imagine I would've obsessed about him and would've been worried about every call and every text message, but I honestly wasn't worried. I really like him but I had other options. This is why you need to keep dating others. It gives you confidence and makes you appear allusive both qualities which attract men like bees to honey. Why do you think a stripper gets a lot more dates than us nice girls. Is not because of her looks or even because she is stripper. It's because she has so many options any man that dates her knows she can take him or leave him. It puts men on their best behavior. It is sad that a stripper can get more dates and nice vacations and dinners than many girls nice girls do. Stay in touch with him but I strongly suggest you keep dating your other options. You might be letting to of the perfect guy for you or maybe this guy is the guy for you, but 2 dates is way too soon to tell. He has not earned the right to take you off the market. Keep dating others. I bet has not closed down his dating site yet , which means he is probably texting other women. And he has the right too, but so do you. Think about that.

blahhh

thanks! Another guy seems really interested, so I think I may give that a try as well-this one is really trying to keep in touch, shows that he's interested, etc. only thing is just mentally i get overwhelmed, it takes a lot out of me even talking to someone new a few times, but you are right that i have no guarantee how things will go with the first guy.

cubano

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I was working in a distant city this summer where I met a guy. The rest of the summer we spent alot of time together, at the end we were furniture shopping for his new apartment that I visited everyday. I thought it just started as hooking up with a summer fling. Before I went back home, I told him that even though I thought this was just a hookup I had feelings for him now. He told me he never saw me as just a hookup but because I lived 12 hrs away theres no point. After I left we kept in touch (text and snapchat) even it seemed more from my side. Then two months later I went back to his city. I lied to him and said that I was there a day earlier (I know I shouldn't have but I didn't want to seem so despo to see him). He got really mad that I didn't see him as soon as I got to the city and only spent one night with me. The next day he was really mad and rude to me over text when I asked him when we were meeting up because he told me we were later. He said very rudely that we weren't seeing each other and have a nice flight. The next day, bc I knew he was acting out since he thought I didnt see him as soon as I came. I told him the truth. He didn't reply all day even though I texted him so many times. The next day I told him to just acknowledge what I said because I was trying to let him go. He finally texted back saying we should probably let everything go. After a few weeks of no contact, I texted him saying I liked his fb prof pic. we had a conversation and he was like "I don't want to say thanks until I talk to you for a bit." then we started snapchatting regularly (his are mostly shirtless) and have convos once in a while on text but I would be the one to text first even though replies within 2 minutes of the text sent. He currently is visiting family in another country. Yesterday he messaged me on fb (he still always calls me baby) and we had a constant conversation for 4 hours. and in it he was reminiscing about the times we were together and how we should do couples workouts but overall it was a fun convo. Its like he forgot the whole drama and "I think we should let go" thing didn't even happen.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Did he just talk to me because he's really bored? I know we both have hooked up with other people since, but he's the first guy ive ever loved so Im not over him. I've hooked up with someone else just as a distraction. What's going on? If he said we should've let go why does he snapchat me and talk to me on fb for 4 hours? Also, this is the first time in a long time he's messaged me first. Usually he just snaps me but replies instantly if I text him.

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aquaelephant

He sounds immature. To actually say he's not going yo say thank you for your compliment until after talking to you for a while? Um, he needs to get over himself. Also, he really didn't have a right to be mad about you being there a day early. (I'm assuming you went for more than just seeing him, if not, than it was weird for you nit to tell him what day you got there). This guy does not care about you. Let him go.

mrsbillygil

He sounds like a total idiot.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

It's the holidays. He may be lonely , but it seems like you are the one putting in most of the ffort. It takes zero effort to text and snapchat so I wouldn't give too much value to him doing that. Has he made any real effort to see you? He flew to see family but has he ever flown out to see you? You flew to see him. If you were the woman that he considered the love of his life he would be happy to fly to see you. He is just bored and you are getting attached again. Let him go. Don't be his entertainment. Start dating other people. Join dating sites and go to singles events or just go out with your girlfriends and let other guys ask you out. If you don't want to catch feelings for a guy you are hooking up with, don't hook up with anyone . Most women always catch feelings for the men they sleep with, so I suggest you don't sleep with anyone that has not asked your for exclusivity and that has not shown you he loves you. Men can have sex without emotion, but most women are not built for hookups. Good luck.

nattybumpo

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Same guy I hadn't heard from since Sunday but in good terms just felt like sending him a a message. We had been texting for a week or so and have met but not gone on a date. Felt as if the texting was going nowhere and maybe he did too so I sent him this to ask if I would see him at a game.

Dating Question

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Into me or not based on his response? Will move in if I don't hear from him or see him. Should I have texted back to his last response or just wait to see what happens?

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mrsbillygil

Sounds like he probably won't show up tomorrow but see what happens.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

No. Don't text him. It doesn't even sound like he is going. If he was interested HE would be the one in icing you out and he would take you out on a real date. This means absolutely nothing.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

*HE would be the one asking you out

katelyn_nelson34

I'm sorry but he sounds like someone who just want to be friends if that, he sounds really nice though so you can definately try to be friends!😊

mifeng

HERE'S THE DEAL...

So I've met this guy on Tinder. I just liked his profile as it seemed he likes travelling as much as I do. We texted for a bit and decided to meet each other. On our first date we went to a pub where we had a nice conversation. After that he brought me to my bus stop and waited until my bus came. We didn't kiss each other which I found really good as it seemed like he's not one of these jerks. Then I haven't seen him for 2 weeks as I was on holiday, but we texted every day!!! I'm always so glad to hear from him!
On our second date we went to the same pub again..but he was late..when I remeber right he didn't even apologise..on our third date we were supposed to meet at 1.30 but didn't say where we'd meet. So I texted him the day before, but didn't get an answer until 3pm the next day...he overslept...I was kind of pissed as I haven't planned anything else, but he asked if we could meet at 4 and in the end I said yes. I arrived and had to wait 40!! minutes. Is that possible? He seems to be interested, but then I had to wait this long and when I remember right there wasn't an apology either.. but as soon as I see him I forget about everything...I also kissed him the first time on our third date and we had a long chat about the fact that girls should make the first move.
We are still texting every day, but I can see that he's been online on Whatsapp, but hasn't replied. It can't be that he's been busy with work because he's also been online on Facebook and Tinder (I don't use Tinder anymore, deleted it, but downloaded it again to see, if he's still online). I am really worried that he is still looking for other girls..
The last time I've seen him, I asked him if he's seeing other girls and he said "no", but as I've told you he is still on Tinder..

NOW I'M WONDERING...

So do you know why guys are still online on Tinder if they seem to be interested in a girl? He even asked what my parents would say if they knew I'd had a boyfriend. I just don't get it why they don't respond when they online on whatsapp but feel like going on Tinder. Can anyone help?

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andreav

He's not that into if he's consistently late and not even apologizing. Either he doesn't notice or doesn't care and why would you want to date someone like that??? Keep going on dates and find someone that makes you a priority

mifeng

Maybe I should also say that he always paid when we've met and he showed me pictures of his family and I also met his sister. I mean every time I see him I think I must be stupid not to 'trust' him or to think that he might be seeing other girls but then when I haven't seen hom for a few days I feel like he might not be into me...

northeastchick

So he is not responding to your text messages on whatsapp? you say you are texting everyday but that he is not responding? Honestly he sounds like a lot of "problems" already and its only been the 3rd date. If you don't trust him then stop seeing/talking to this guy. BTW whenever you ask a guy if he is talking/seeing someone else don't expect him to say "yes"! Not many guys will admit that!

mifeng

Ok wait...so he is always replying...it just takes him some time to reply. I have also seen him 6 times (just didn't mention every date). Moreover I won't stay in the UK forever as I have to go back to study, but I have at least 7 months left in the UK. I asked him if it could be sth serious and he asked me when I know whether I go back to Germany or not (I might study in the UK)... does that make a difference? Maybe he just doesn't want to start a relationship when I might go back to go to university?! I'm deeply grateful for all your advices!! :)

andreav

It sounds like you just want him to be great and he isn't. He sounds pretty awful actually. That's nice of him to pay- but pretty much all guys pay the first couple of dates even if they aren't that into you. Literally all if my guy friends will still always pay and be polite when they take out girls even when they have no interest in them. No guy would be late so many times especially without apologizing if they liked the girl. Why not go out on dates with other guys that are excited to be on a date with you?

mrsbillygil

Everyone on dating sites likes traveling.

mrsbillygil

In other words, what is it exactly that u like about him? Seems there's nothing to like

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Agree wih the ladies above. You are making tons of excuses for him. You accepted meeting him at 4pm when he was already late. I would've told him I made other plans. And 2xs late would've been the limit for me with this guy. It is extremely disrespectful to show up late to a date and not even apologize. Are you dating others? You should. He never asked you to be his girlfriend. Maybe you missed some perfectly nice guys on tinder or in person because you stopped looking and focused all your energy on a guy that doesn't seem that into you. Guys only want girls to make the first move when they are not that intersted. Trust me, if he saw the woman he really, really wanted he wouldn't be showing up late or telling her to make the first moves . This is not the guy for you, no matter how much you want him to be. And if you had been dating other guys you wouldn't put up with his craply behavior, like showing up late to dates or not giving you date details. So what that he pays for the date? He should. That's the least he can do. So many of you ladies expect so little from men nowadays and then you wonder why they are not romantic or why they don't pursue women. They don't pursue or court women because they don't have to. Men have to do very little now adays to get a woman to fall for them. If you were dating other guys, you would've dropped this flake like a hot potato after the 1st incident, if you were. Because you would have so many options you would have very little tolerance for bad behavior. And what's funny is that you dating others and demanding respect would probably make him treat you with more respect and make you seem more attractive, wen if he's not the right guy for you. You are kinda if being a doormat and that is not attractive. You deserve to be treated with the outmost respect, but you have to truly believe that you are a prize and deserve to be treated like gold. Let this guy go and date a lot. It will boost your confidence.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Agree wih the ladies above. You are making tons of excuses for him. You accepted meeting him at 4pm when he was already late. I would've told him I made other plans. And 2xs late would've been the limit for me with this guy. It is extremely disrespectful to show up late to a date and not even apologize. Are you dating others? You should. He never asked you to be his girlfriend. Maybe you missed some perfectly nice guys on tinder or in person because you stopped looking and focused all your energy on a guy that doesn't seem that into you. Guys only want girls to make the first move when they are not that intersted. Trust me, if he saw the woman he really, really wanted he wouldn't be showing up late or telling her to make the first moves . This is not the guy for you, no matter how much you want him to be. And if you had been dating other guys you wouldn't put up with his craply behavior, like showing up late to dates or not giving you date details. So what that he pays for the date? He should. That's the least he can do. So many of you ladies expect so little from men nowadays and then you wonder why they are not romantic or why they don't pursue women. They don't pursue or court women because they don't have to. Men have to do very little now adays to get a woman to fall for them. If you were dating other guys, you would've dropped this flake like a hot potato after the 1st incident, if you were. Because you would have so many options you would have very little tolerance for bad behavior. And what's funny is that you dating others and demanding respect would probably make him treat you with more respect and make you seem more attractive, wen if he's not the right guy for you. You are kinda if being a doormat and that is not attractive. You deserve to be treated with the outmost respect, but you have to truly believe that you are a prize and deserve to be treated like gold. Let this guy go and date a lot. It will boost your confidence.

gules98

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I met this guy through the same client we work for, not really noticed him as I am always busy. Basically we had a function and we sort of chatted about work and nothing else, never gave him any signals and I never saw any to be honest. Then later that night he sent me a message asking if we can message, I agreed thinking nothing about it and just a friend from work sort of thing. Then he began texting me which was extremely forward and full on asking me loads of questions (age thing came up as I am 8 years older than him and I am a single Mom with a 16 year old daughter) and then told me he really liked me and thought I was sexy (thought I was nice at work meeting we had back in April) and that I turned him on. I was extremely shy and said I don't do this sort of thing as I am a face to face person. But I spoke to a few of my more modern friends about this and they said this is the new way of dating and give it a go. Then he started with the sexting thing, and I said told him I don't do this especially with pictures etc. and that I prefer to meet up for a drink, but he kept putting me off however he wanted me to come stay at his house overnight and I said I can't do that. So we just can’t seem to get it together. Over the last month we have been chatting but every time I try to arrange something after work (he is literally 10 minutes away from my office) he keeps saying he is busy, but then later that night he wants to sext. The recent text I received from him was that he was falling for me. I said how is this possible when we have not met, and our only communication and sex is done through text. I must admit I have tried the sexting thing and sent some saucy pictures against what I thought was wrong, but I have to say it was liberating as it was really hot and I have never done anything like this before?, it was good and wow! But now I am getting bored as I want to meet and he seems to be busy. So I gave him three days’ notice to meet, he said he will let me know, I have not heard from since asking him, I too have not messaged him to ask what happened as the ball was in his court, and I think it was simply rude not to even reply. So I tried to justify his reasoning for not meeting, 1)maybe it’s Christmas and he is waiting for the new year? 2)he has a GF. 3) Is he obsessed with sexting and he is chatting to loads of other women, and it’s his buzz or 4) he just some sexting freak!!!

NOW I'M WONDERING...

My question is do I just block the guy and stop wasting my time? Why did he tell me he loves me without actually knowing me? and why the hell won't he meet?

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bluesdetoi TOP COMMENTER

Your assumptions could be very right, he might have a girlfriend and therefore the excitement of texting dirty is the only kind of relationship he can offer you without the girlfriend finding out. I say stick to your guns and don't do the sexting thing with someone who won't give you the change of getting to know him personally. You're a grown woman and you deserve to be taken out, not given this teenage treatment with the sexting. It's also not safe cause theres a high possibility of him sharing those images with 3rd parties. He's lying about falling for you so that you will feel more comfortable doing things that are out of your comfort zone.

gules98

Thank you for your reply, you are right I deserve a chance to get to know him personally which he can't give for other reasons. When I re-read what he has said, it is like he is coaxing me to continue with the saucy messages, which I stopped doing when I kept asking to meet and he found every excuse.

preferphonecalls TOP COMMENTER

Don't listen to people telling you this is modern dating . Texting is allowing men to be lazy with dating. These same women that text all the time then complain that they can't get a real date. That's because they are responding to text messages. Men haven't changed that much. It's just that too many many women are accepting crumbs from men. If you don't respond to text messages, the men that really want to get to know you will figure out that they must take you out on a real date. Men don't fall in love with words. They fall in live with all the other senses: the way you look , the sound of your voice, even your scent. This has not changed. So don't listen to anyone that says texting and sexting are the modern way of dating. And never sent pictures of yourself to someone. Now these pictures belong to him and he can show them to whoever he wants or post them wherever he wants. Drop this guy. Go to singles events and join dating websites and don't waste time texting. If a guy text you too much, don't respond. Only respond to text that are about actually taking you out and seeing you face to face. He'll ask why you don't text, if he's interested in you and you can tell him you are old fashioned And believe in face to face interaction. You don't have to ask the guys out. The smart ones the are into you will get the hint and take you out on a date. And don't fall for the first guy that pays you attention. It's really easy for a guy to be charming during the first few dates. Date a lot. You are free to date until someone you like asks for exclusivity. Don't assume you are exclusive because you went out x amount if times. Read some dating books. Best one to me have been "the rules" and "not your mother rules" and also the Steve Harvey books. They teach you how to set boundaries with men and to not take BS. There are strippers that get more dates than us nice girls get, because they genuinely can take a guy or leave him and men know this and so they put their best foot forward with these women. We have to treat men in the same manner. Let men show that they deserve our undivided attention and love and body. You have to believe that you are a prize and deserved to. E treated like good and any man who doesn't treat you this way is not worth your time, but you really have to believe this. So date a lot, don't sleep with anyone, just date. And read some dating books that will give you real advice. I'm finally engaged thanks to this new way of thinking and he treats me like a princess. You have good Instincts, so listen to your instincts. Texting is not dating. You deserve real dates.

gules98

Wow thank you for you response, great advice. You are right, I let my guard down because I got a bit of attention which surprised me. Tbh I was not even looking to date, I am quiet happy with myself after being a bad relationship for a few years. I just knew that this texting was just not natural almost on the verge of him being like a stalker type.

eli098

HERE'S THE DEAL...

I broke up with my bf of 3 months. We were doing great together until the last day. One night I questioned his love for me. He began patient and after a few answered questions I told him I still did not believe he loved me because he hadn't shown me that he did. He had no motivation and was one of those I will kill myself if you leave type of boyfriends that are extremely attached and wanted me around all the time but he didn't really take care of me. So he called me an asshole after that and I explained that I was only telling him what I thought and he then said well then just tell me if its over. I was pretty worked up by then and said I wish I didn't have to but yes its over. So he kept trying to work me up by saying I was hurting him and that I never cared and that he didn't want to see me anymore and to never come crawling back to him. I ignored him for a day and the next day I sent him a final message on Facebook saying I was sorry that the breakup hurt. I told him I wished him a great life and a great future. That I wasn't mad nor did I hate him but that we both wanted different things in life. Then I deleted him on Facebook and he blocked me. He is 18 and I am 20. I know for a fact that his friends wanted me. Not meaning to sound mean but I am highly desired by men and I know it but I don't usually reciprocate. I know he is at the immature age and to be honest I really like him. I miss him and we had a great thing going on. He is an angry person and I did not see the love in our relationship he claimed to have. I could tell he was very emotionally attached and that he wanted to do things right but he had a tough childhood and couldn't get past that. I don't know if I made the right choice or if I even want him back but I miss him terribly. After the break up we were Facebook friends for a few days. When he talked about it on his wall he would say my girl left me and how he had tried to keep us together.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I guess my biggest question is what went wrong? Were we just not ready for each other? And is it possible we can be together in the future? I decided to post after reading many of your articles. Thank you.

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2009 TOP COMMENTER

It doesn't sound like is mature enough to be in a relationship from what was written here. Were you to have that same conversation with someone else it may have gone completely differently and not escalated the way it did. It may have been that a different person may not have taken offence, they may not have argued with you but instead reassured you, they may have reminded you of all the things that you were forgetting that prove their care, they may have even just given you a little time to think about it and come around rather than demanding a decision be made right then and there. Anything can happen, but at this stage it sounds like it would be a shame if you two did get back together, I think you would be missing out on finding someone who's love you don't have to question.

clairebear84

3 months isn't nothing!Youre talking as if you were together years!Should of given him a chance to prove his feelings.Too many people expect to fall in love straight away.Its something that should develop naturally and over a longer period of time.

bluesdetoi TOP COMMENTER

Sounds veeery immature with the facebook wall posts about breakups. People who do that are attention seeking. Anyone who will out your business like that isn't worth keeping around, even if you feel like you might be missing him. It's difficult to have a stable love relationship after 3 months, his "love" might have been his need for having someone around to be attached too. Let it go, you're young and you'll meet plenty of men.

inspired12

I think you went with your gut which was to end it in that moment and that is probably true to what you felt. I say revel in your feelings a while and just make sure it isn't Cuz you miss the good parts. Maturity is big but doesn't always matter with age. With that said I won't rant about how since he's only 18 he is at a diff stage but he is a little you are almost done with college he is not barely started. Guys take longer to mature and maybe he wasn't ready for that type of thing you expect out of him including ambition and stuff.

jazzfishy

I dated a guy like this about a year ago. Clingy, childhood issues, anger, depression, threatened to kill himself, claimed to love me but never acted like it.... The whole shebang. One day I just realized I couldn't do it anymore and broke up with him. He cried and begged and did all the kind of immature stuff yours did, and it was hard at first because I felt guilty but looking back, it was quite possibly the best decision I have ever made. Dating him, I felt like a babysitter, not a girlfriend. Guys should be YOUR shoulder to cry on, not vice versa. Love yourself enough to let him go. I promise, you'll be better off for it.

hey1206

HERE'S THE DEAL...

Started talking to this guy I met online last year. We texted almost everyday. He was very nice and we had a lot in common. He always wanted to meet up but I would always blow him off. (Totally my fault, nerves got the best of me) We continued to text for months until he got fed up and stopped texting me, which I understand. I reopened my account this year in which he messaged me and we resumed texting. It seemed like he was still interested in me but this time around I have been initiating conversations and wanting to meet up but he doesn't seem to want to. Which I get because I never met up with him last year. We've had deep conversations and I always got the vibe that he was into me and I seem to like him. But now, he'll go days without texting me, not respond my text or when he does he says "hey babe" and I reply but then he doesn't reply back. Seems like all of a sudden he lost interest in me.

NOW I'M WONDERING...

Not sure what to do now. Should I just stop texting him in general and block him? Should I continue to text him and push to meet up ? or should I just let it be and wait until he'll eventually texts me?

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nope

I feel like he is just being a jerk and like giving you pay back for you not meeting up with him last year.

clairebear84

You weren't giving him positive reactions last time when he chased you so why should he now?Hes obviously just being cautious.

bluesdetoi TOP COMMENTER

Probably lost interest or he's playing hard to get.

bourdie1979

HERE'S THE DEAL...

my and I broke up about 9 months ago. I have been having a hard time getting over it but We have virtually had no contact. this morning out of nowhere he text me asking me to go out on Sunday for lunch?

NOW I'M WONDERING...

I agreed and I'm not going in with any notion of getting back together. But I'm wondering if I should even go through with it. I miss him so much and I never stopped missing him. I just setting Myself up for huge heartbreak? any advice as to what I should talk about with him?

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bourdie1979

sorry its hard typing this stuff out of my phone so please don't mind the typos

eli098

go to exboyfriendrecovery.com at the time you two were together he maybe didn't see the value in you and now that he's had more experience with other people and in life he sees he made a mistake and wants you back. Don't go thinking like this go in thinking about seeing a very good friend you have missed and friend zone him until you feel it is right to move forward. Hopefully I'm not advising you wrong but this seems to work

bourdie1979

No thank you that is GREAT advice. I wasn't planning on meeting him thinking that we were getting back together...but I'm still harbouring some resentment.

bluesdetoi TOP COMMENTER

You are right in feeling resentful if he broke up with you and now months after comes back wanting to hang out. When people break up, and if it was his choice, he needs to stick with it instead of trying to bring back the past that wasn't good enough at the time. See what he wants to meet about and have lunch about, you're in your right to say no to lunch, you guys are not friends, you are exes. Its an especially bad idea if you still have feelings for him, all the distance that has benefited you in getting over him in the past months will be wasted the minute you see him again.

bourdie1979

I broke up with him...but i felt like he pushed me to do it. To be honest all my time and energy has been so focused on missing him. I don't wang to feel this way...but i miss him terribly.

bluesdetoi TOP COMMENTER

But he didnt miss you, for 9 months he was just great without you. Make sure you dont fall right into it, maybe hea broken up with someone and is rebounding with you or trying to? Be careful. Hes not worth it for sure.

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